THIS IS A SEQUEL TO BORN IN BLACK AND WHITE - If you'd like any story continuity, I suggest you read that one first as this is heavily rooted in what occurred in that story. Enjoy!
Kairi toddled around her front room, bouncing and shushing the baby that was wrapped up against her. The three month old infant was curled upon her chest, secured by a lavish piece of material, artfully tied to support him against the flat plane of her chest and stomach. She kept switching from humming to shushing anytime the little baby stirred against her, brazenly nuzzling his tiny face within the valley of her chest, no doubt rooting for food. She sighed as he did this, since she felt as if it were only moments ago that she fed him. She glanced at her nearby clock and realized that it had actually been a couple of hours since his last feeding and she better get on it if she didn't desire a screaming infant in her arms.
Too young to feed in the confines of the woven wrap, she gracefully untied it and sat herself down on the couch preparing to feed the eager and quickly growing baby with dark hair and deep blue eyes. He had yet to acquire either his mother or his father's signature orbs. She smiled sweetly at him as he wriggled in her lap, yawning and cooing and looking very much like his father with his wry grin. She chuckled at that, the charm seemed to be genetic. She woke him up a bit, tapping on his hands and getting him to reach out and grip her fingertips with a giggle. She cooed at him, trying to get him to respond or echo. For only three months old, he seemed to be very smart, developing quickly and curious about the world around him. Kairi couldn't be more proud.
"May I feed him?"
Kairi looked up into the eyes of Danni, now a brilliant six going on seven year old standing on the other side of the arm of the sofa. "Why don't you play with him a bit while I get his bottle ready?"
Danni's eyes brightened as Kairi stood and laid him down on his play mat. Danni sat next to him with Toby just a foot away, popping his head up and thumping his dangerous tail against the ground with a whump. He crawled just minutely closer, stretching out his nose to take in the glorious scent of a fresh little baby. Kairi chuckled as she walked into her kitchen and reached into her freezer to pull out a bag of pumped breast milk. She placed it in the warmer and got it started as she watched Toby and the children with a keen eye.
"Danni, you mustn't move around so much, he's still learning to focus." The refined voice of a now eight going on nine year old Julie called out, quite regally, from the nearby chair as she read one of Kairi's old books.
"He's a baby, he needs to learn to adapt." Danni shot back with snark, "Plus, he likes it!" She smiled down and wiggled her fingers in the infants face as his eyes widened with wonder.
Kairi chuckled again and looked to Julie who just rolled her eyes at her little sister. Kairi hastened to prepare the bottle, dropping the little plastic bag into the recommended bottle. This fancy thing was most analogous to a breast, as to not ruin little William's proper latch. The timer dinged just as the bottle was put together and Kairi switched the milk from the freezer bag into the bottle, swirling it gently to get it at the right temperature for the infant's sensitive mouth. She tested it on her wrist, not feeling a thing as the cream colored drops patterned her pale skin and she smiled happily, finally feeling as if she were getting the hang of this infant business.
She walked back over to the passel of children and sat the bottle on her coffee table. She bent over to the dark and wild haired baby and picked him up, bouncing him all the way back to their spot on the couch with Toby, hulking and awkward, following closely to ensure that the little one would not be harmed. In such a short time, Toby sure had formed an attachment to the little one. Everyone had.
She sat down and adjusted him in her lap, grabbing the bottle and putting it to his eager lips as he tried to grab at her shirt to get it out of his way, "Now that isn't going to work right now is it?" Kairi smiled and rubbed the nipple against his other cheek to distract him, "Here you go, bub." She grinned as he eagerly took it in and began to drink happily.
They sat like that for however long it takes a baby to feed, switching up sides and burping him to make it feel more natural. She knew how important it was for William to continue breastfeeding. She found it all quite educational and interesting, learning this new little human.
Once William was over her shoulder, fast asleep as she patted his back and waited for him to belch, she heard the sound of keys in her door and turned slowly, a keen smile on her face.
"So how is he?" The familiar voice echoed in her ear and it made Kairi feel just a little less alone.
"Fine!" Kairi whispered and winked, "He's just burping, Heather. I didn't know you'd be back so soon so I gave him a bottle just a minute ago."
Heather smiled and waved a dismissive hand at her sister, "No problem, Kairi, I'm just about beat and I was thinking we should be heading back to the hotel soon anyway. I want a nap before we go out to dinner." She smiled as she walked up to Kairi to take a peak at the sleeping lump in Kairi's arms.
"Oh, he's so precious Heather, I'm not sure I can let you take him back." Kairi chuckled as Adam walked through her flat's door, carrying some small bags.
"Don't you say that," Adam growled playfully, "you'd have to go through me first. I've been patiently waiting for a little man to call my own and I won't let the likes of you have him." He winked and Kairi just chuckled as she handed the fifteen pound babe back to his mother.
"I have half a mind to let you have one of them though." Heather chuckled as William stirred in her arms and she nodded to her other children who scowled at her comment. Heather rolled her eyes, "Oh I'm joking, I love you both to bits."
Danni seemed appeased while Julie gave a haughty scoff they both went back to their previous activity.
"Will we be seeing Sherlock this time?" Danni piped up after a few moments of tender silence.
Heather cleared her throat and Adam froze. Kairi felt tears stinging behind her eyes and she just chuckled, "No, not this time. He's still away on business."
Danni's face dropped and she sighed, "He's missed all our chances to play!" She sounded outright wounded, "Christmas! Thanksgiving! Did he even get you a present for those?" Kairi frantically looked over to Toby, the almost eight month old pup who was already a lumbering monstrosity of muscle and loose skin. "What about your birthday!?" Danni squealed in anger against the protesting shushes of her mother.
Kairi sighed and shrugged, keeping a smile on her face to hide the pain that was so very obvious to the adults in the room, "He's on business Danni. We can't help it. I'm sure we will see him soon, it's just hard when he's on a case. He's really quite focused. He's helping people." It was Kairi's mantra these days, all of the days since he had gone. He's helping me.
Danni huffed, "It's still not nice to miss Christmas." She sat on the rug with a sigh and then began to rub the belly of the only present Kairi had received from her absent detective.
Kairi swallowed heavily and glanced to her sister who looked pained, "No, it isn't Danni, and he'll have a lot to make up for, wont he?" She nodded dutifully to her niece who looked sad, "Perhaps we'll have to come visit for longer on the next holiday, maybe a Christmas celebration at Disneyland?"
Julie and Danni's eyes both widened and stared at their aunt with absolute glee. Heather chuckled and Adam sighed heavily.
"Perhaps we can give your mom and dad a break and just take you kids?" Kairi chuckled, "Next time you see him though, you'll need to pester him about it." Kairi walked over to Danni and sat next to her and held her hand, "You can't let up at all, he's very stubborn."
Julie giggled, "Oh, I think we can manage!"
Kairi smiled at her nieces conspiratorially. That should punish him a bit for the last half a year of non-correspondence. Her only reassurance that Sherlock was even alive were mutters from John and a comforting, yet vague, speech about national security from Mycroft every time she asked.
"We can handle it." Danni said, reassuring her aunt by patting her hand in a most mature fashion.
Kairi just chuckled a little evilly at that. She stood after patting Toby on the gut and began packing away the necessary items for Heather and the family's trip back to the hotel.
"Are you sure it's okay for tomorrow? I don't want to feel like we're dropping the kids on you constantly." Adam asked nervously.
Kairi waved her hand at them, "I'm on break still - Christmas vacation for the kids. Mycroft wants me to have my birthday off, so it's no problem. Molly and John will be away visiting Molly's family. I'd like a day with the girls and William, maybe we can go for a walk at Regent's park." Kairi muttered with a slight tremor in her voice. She had to recreate new and happy memories there. She shook her head slowly, "That or the science museum. So, possibly bring around the stroller so we can take the tube."
Heather gave her a weary look, "Are you sure that's safe with all the kids?"
Kairi nodded, "I'll bring Toby along with his training vest, no one will bother us with him around."
Heather chuckled, looking at the giant mound, belly up and being scratched by her daughter who was giggling wildly. Adam spoke up, laughing, "No I don't think anyone would. He looks like one of those hellhounds from Ghostbusters."
Kairi laughed at that, looking at Toby, his jowls floppy as he hung upside down with the tell-tale grin of a pit bull's face. "He does, doesn't he? That might be a good halloween costume for next year. I could be Sigourney Weaver in that orange tapestry thing." She chuckled and then ran a hand through her bobbed auburn hair, "I'll have to let my hair grow out a bit and make it all curly."
Adam walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek as he took the children's bags and loaded himself up, "I think you'd make an adorable Gate Keeper."
Kairi chuckled and helped him get sorted. "Oh you..." She patted his shoulder as the girls took their backpacks and shrugged them on. "Anytime tomorrow, just give me an hour or so's notice."
Heather smiled, "Adam will be around to drop them off around eleven, just around William's nap so he wont be too crazy. I've got a spa day! We'll pick them up early afternoon." She giggled merrily.
"Oh?" Kairi sounded jealous, "What'll you be doing then Adam?"
He grinned at Kairi cheekily, "The London Dungeon!"
Kairi rolled her eyes as she scoffed playfully, "I thought that was for kids?"
He looked affronted and paused his shifting of bags for the baby, "So?"
Kairi chuckled again and helped them carry out their large amount of things. So much was required for three children that it dazzled her! A bag for each child, not to mention the cold bag for the breast milk and a play mat and car seat for little William. A cab rolled up and amidst frantic goodbyes and reorganizing, Kairi bid them farewell and promised an exciting day tomorrow. Everyone smiled and blew kisses and they were off and Kairi went back into 221 Baker Street alone.
She reached the crucial point in the house. The one that could either let her keep her sanity or cause her to crumble into a mess. She glanced up the stairs, sighing heavily and turned away with closed, wet eyes. She shivered to herself, walking back into her flat and slumping down on her couch, resting her face in her hands.
Toby, amorous as ever, waggled over to her and pushed his way between her legs, forcing his face between her hands to kiss away the tears that were leaking from her eyes. She chuckled in spite of her sadness and hugged the beast against her chest. She loved Toby greatly. He was a perfect addition to her life, a needed change that fully pulled her out of her slump.
She had spent the last year, dangerously alone and distant, slowly coming to terms with what happened with her and...
She went to therapy, took medication for a while, and let her body heal as much as it could. It took a lot of focus, a lot of determination, and a lot of compassion to allow herself to feel comfortable in her own skin. With help from Dr. Sherman and her friends, she was even daring to admit that she may even love herself a little bit. She started with discovering her passions, trying to volunteer at different places, animal shelters, nursing homes, and finally at a school, all the while working part-time for Mycroft. She ended up sticking with the school, teaching children basic computer skills and even some basic web skills in order to help them learn the proper ways to research. Some of the older children who mastered typing and search skills even got basic tutorials in web design. She worked with decent people around bright children and it warmed her heart. She loved the work Mycroft gave her, but working with children was a special challenge. She didn't want them to be susceptible, she didn't want them to feel inadequate, despite their station. She wanted to make sure that they had enough confidence to ensure their future, to keep them away from the dark reaches of this world that already grappled for their home life. Kairi needed purpose and this was the perfect one.
She hugged Toby again as his large tongue grated about the clean skin of her face and chewed on her hair. Still such a puppy despite almost weighing the same amount as her. Where Appa was tall and lithe and ominous and regal, Toby was a bit of a gruff mutt, packing muscle into an only slightly smaller package. Half of her home had been clanged and bashed about when he discovered the perfect way to wield his tail with deathly force. Yes, Kairi loved him. Lazy and happy and loving, Toby was just what she needed.
Holes were still very much present in her heart, one in the shape of her absent detective. The last she had heard from him was the box in her home with Toby inside. The world seemed to move on around them, Sherlock mysteriously absent and Kairi feeling like she was wilting away.
She felt better, she really did. She still had nightmares, curbed occasionally by sleeping pills that were prescribed by her team of doctors. She fought her depression and anxiety with exercise and at one point medication when it had gotten overwhelming. Concurrent visits with Dr. Sherman had helped her refocus and retune. She had been working hard to get better. She wanted to get better. She was still angry, still very scared, but she worked and she fought. She fought for her friends, she fought for Sherlock, but most importantly, she fought for herself. She would no longer live in the darkness, fearing shadows at every step.
She stood abruptly, with Toby at her heels and stalked to the kitchen, trying to dispel her pain. The hardest part was missing Sherlock desperately. The hardest part was wanting him here, close, in her arms, kissing his lips. The painful part was knowing that even if he did show up in the next twenty minutes, there was still that terrified bit of her that had no idea what to do with him.
She busied herself in the kitchen, grabbing ingredients and flapping about. She finally pulled out her phone and put on some upbeat music, enticing her to dance around a bit and feel silly. She decided she'd make cupcakes this time; that way she could share with the girls when they came over tomorrow. She wanted tomorrow to be a happy affair and she knew the girls and baby William would help along with that.
From memory, she started in on some basic cupcakes, vanilla with strawberry frosting. She was feeling a bit courageous and decided to cut up pieces of strawberry and mix it in with the batter. She'd even puree some of the fruit to add to the frosting. She always could feel a little bit more excited and upbeat by baking something yummy to be proud of.
She laughed to herself, remembering Mycroft's almost desperate plea to stop bringing confections to work as he was trying so very hard to get fit. He was disappointed, only momentarily though, when she brought him some brownies the next day. She assured him it was a very healthy recipe, using pure cocoa powder, vegetable and fruit purees — black beans and applesauce actually — and only the finest, unsweetened peanut butter to mix in at the end for a delightful ribboned swirl. She tried not to laugh at the twinkle in Mycroft's eye when she assured him it was a healthy option for dessert and he didn't need to torture himself. Upon the first bite, which she practically forced him to take, she saw him suppress his delight. Alas, it was not enough to entice Sherlock's location out of his steel trap of a mind.
Once she finally put the doled out cupcakes in the oven, there was a knock at her door that was completely unexpected. She frowned slightly as Toby rushed the door and began sniffing at the crack, wagging his tail wildly once he recognized a scent. Kairi chuckled and walked to the door, opening it to a surprise.
"Hello love, I've brought some wine and a superhero movie." Lestrade smiled wide and Kairi grinned. "Early birthday present — there's a bunch of handsome men in this one. Though I don't see why you'd need'em with me around." He winked.
Kairi chuckled, "Come on in then." She opened the door fully and Toby gave him a playful growl.
"Watch your tongue, mutt." Lestrade shot back playfully as he walked into her flat to deposit the wine and movie on Kairi's counter. "Come over and give me a kiss then!" He said with open arms and Toby practically slithered his way over with a violently wagging tail, whapping Kairi on the thigh as he went past.
Kairi hissed and rubbed the spot, walking around her counter, "Give me twenty minutes then, until the cupcakes and frosting are done. I'll let them cool and set and we can order in."
She glanced over to Lestrade who was now on the floor with Toby sprawled back against him, belly facing out and his large head resting in the crook of Lestrade's neck as he rubbed his belly and made kissy noises. "Yeah all right," He added absentmindedly and finished his cuddling with Toby, "what do you feel like?"
Kairi pondered this as she added in confectioner's sugar and an appropriate amount of butter and began chopping strawberries to toss in her blender, "Curry?" Lestrade shot her a disinterested face, "Thai?" She added after a bit and he perked up at that and Kairi chuckled.
"I'll phone it in." He smiled and stood while Kairi reached for the menu on her fridge.
"I'll take a number four." She added and he nodded and turned to walk into her bedroom while she began mixing. Toby didn't seem to know who he wanted to be with so he just sat down, alternating between staring at Kairi's noise machine and in the direction of Lestrade perched on Kairi's bed behind glass doors.
Kairi wrapped up the finished frosting in a decorating bag and placed it in the fridge to set for a few hours. She began cleaning up a bit while the cupcakes finished baking and Lestrade made his way out of her bedroom with a smile on his face.
"Want a glass?" He motioned to the wine and she shook her head. "So how are things? Having fun with the kids?"
Kairi smiled as she rinsed out her mixing bowls and loaded them into her dishwasher, "They're lovely. A great distraction from my 'vacation'." She joked and he chuckled with her. "William is a gorgeous baby and so damn cute. I just want to eat his little face."
Lestrade chuckled, looking at her strangely, "Don't tell me you've got that itch?"
Kairi shook her head, "God no! He's adorable, but I still can barely take care of myself. I might just grow old and have a bunch of dogs and be a wretched and lonely maid, shaking my cane at pesky youths who traipse on my property."
Lestrade laughed, "Ah, you'll never be lonely."
Kairi beamed at him and he winked.
The cupcakes were cooling and their food had arrived and they ate quickly, littered with bits of conversation. Anecdotes about idiotic criminals and charming school-aged children were traded amidst laughs and meaningful glances.
Lestrade had been a constant companion of Kairi's for the last six months. As were Mycroft and John of course, and Molly was practically a daily installment, but she wanted to not be scared of men, she wanted to feel comfortable in her own skin around them. They had helped her with that, Lestrade especially.
Lestrade cleaned up their dinner and Kairi pulled out some wine glasses. They moved easily around each other like good friends were wont to do. She poured them both a hefty glass while he went over to turn the movie on. He sat back into Kairi's couch and got comfortable while she walked around to the DVD intro. She handed him his glass and he took it with a thanks and opened his arm to her.
"Would you like to?" He asked her cautiously, indicating her snuggling up in the space of his arms.
Kairi smiled, blushing just slightly, "Yes, I think that'd be nice."
She sat down and leaned into him, curling her legs to her side as she rested her head against his shoulder and chest. Kairi took a second to quell the panic in her chest, but she sunk into him and sipped her wine after a few seconds. He waited and then leaned his head against hers, kissing the top of her hair once she relaxed. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling gently and allowing her to feel at ease in the moment. The movie began and they sat together, sipping wine and just being comfortable in each other's physical presence. The movie was fun, they laughed and gushed over actors they found attractive. Lestrade would make jokes to see Kairi smile, she'd indulge his stupid humor to make him feel better.
When the movie ended and the wine bottle was finished, Lestrade found a cab home and Kairi allowed herself some rest, curling up with Toby after shedding a few lonely tears.
Tomorrow was her birthday and it would be one whole year since her release from the hospital and Sherlock's disappearance from her life.
AN
HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I've missed you all greatly. I am working on this story and hope to keep you steadily updated. I make no promises, but I'm trying to stay ahead of the curve this time so you'll have more steady updates :D
Also, credit goes to flaming-amber who gave me inspiration for the title! Also more thanks to Elianna who coined the term Kailock in the first installment! I'm hoping to see some familiar faces to chat with - you know how I adore talking to all of you, so please don't hesitate to ask questions. I refuse to spoil things, but I can clarify and discuss things as always. The cover art is a place holder right now, I'm still working on it.
This is a very short first chapter, catching up a little bit since we left off at the epilogue six months ago. I'd love to hear what you think and I hope to get the next chapter to you within the week. Please leave comments, favorite/alert to stay updated :D We will have Sherlock and Kairi reunited VERY SOON :D :D
Much love my Holmies...