AN: I don't own Bleach! Things would be so different if I did...
"Ladies and gentlemen today we are here for our first annual Miss Soul Society Contest! I, Kisuke Urahara will be your host, if everyone could please forget that right now I'm banished. The rules of the contest are simple. Each girl will have a chance to go on stage, say her name, and do something interesting. After all the girls have gone our three wonderful judges, Shunsui Kyoraku, Toshiro Hitsugaya, and Gin Ichimaru, will discuss which girl they think should win. After they have come to their decision awards will be given to the girls that won. The losers get nothing. I think that's it so let's get started! The first contestant is Rangiku Matsumoto!"
Rangiku walked out onto the stage wearing a short, tight skirt, a tight, low cut t-shirt, and a pair of heels. She was also carrying an opened bottle of sake.
Gin, sitting at the table for the judges, poked the other judges and whispered, "That's my girl," and smiled ever wider.
"Hey everyone," Rangiku said, "So he just told you but I'm Rangiku Matsumoto and I should win this contest. My talent is that I look good in anything." When she said this she ripped off all of her clothes to reveal a very tiny bikini. Kyoraku, Gin, and most of the other men in the room started to nosebleed when they saw her.
Toshiro, though, started blushing and began to, not for the first time, question the wisdom of letting Rangiku be a lieutenant in his squad. "That's classy of her," he sarcastically mumbled.
Rangiku winked at the audience, blew a kiss to Gin, and walked off stage. Enthusiastic clapping from all of the men followed her.
Once the applause stopped Urahara said, "Well I don't know how anyone will follow that up. That was something else. Let me just say that from here I had a really nice view." At this comment there was some pointed coughing from Kaname Tosen's direction. Urahara, not wanting a lecture about inappropriateness and justice, quickly continued. "Anyways the next girl is Momo Hinamori."
"Hi everyone! I'm Momo and my talent is that I look like Captain Aizen." After Momo said this she walked out onto the stage wearing her shinigami outfit with Aizen's captain coat. She was also wearing a pair of his glasses and had her hair styled like his. All in all she looked like a mini version of Aizen.
No one moved or made a noise. Finally Urahara broke the awkward silence by saying, "That's one of the creepiest things I have ever seen in my life and that's saying something because I used to be captain of the twelfth division."
"Wait that's not all," Momo said. Then, in a perfect impression of Aizen's voice, she said, "Hello I am Aizen. My goal is to conquer the world." Momo giggled and then said, in her normal voice, "Just kidding. Aizen would never take over the world. He's too nice."
In the audience Aizen started laughing ominously until he noticed everyone staring at him. "Oh. Um. I'm laughing because I thought that was a good performance. Not because I have any intention of taking over the world," Aizen quickly said.
"Ok then. Moving right along. Momo how about you go now and we let the next girl come out," Urahara said awkwardly.
From backstage a very male voice yelled, "I'm next!" Then Yumichika Ayasegawa skipped out onto the stage. He was wearing skinny jeans and a very feminine shirt.
"Yumichika I hate to tell you this but the MISS Soul Society Contest is for women. So unless you have a confession to make you can't be a part of it," Urahara said in the voice you use when you're talking to either a very stupid person or a kindergartener.
"Well. I don't see why gender matters. I'm obviously the most beautiful person here so I should win anyways," Yumichika said, obviously offended by Urahara's tone of voice.
"Look I'm going to ask you nicely to leave and if you don't I'm going to lock you in a room with Yachiru and give her candy. So you probably should go now," Urahara said threateningly.
At this Yumichika ran away screaming like a girl and yelling, "No! Anything but that!"
"Sorry for the interruption. Now we're going to take a short break to make sure the rest of the contestants are girls," Urahara said as he tried to get the contest back on track.
AN: Hi again! Please review! Also there will be more so tell me if there's anyone that you want to see in the contest.