Quick A/N before i begin,
Big thanks to my co-author Sve on gqsweden on tumblr and my Beta reader Mickey on moqii on tumblr
Thank you so much and enjoy!

'Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future,' Was one of Emil's favourite quotes, and now that the world was seemingly crumbling beneath his own two feet he realized just how true it really was. Ever since Emil was little things had been falling around him in waves after waves, though he'd been living with it since he was born, being that their mother died giving birth to him and soon enough his brothers and friends were slowly picked off one by one. He had never expected things to end this way, as he was sure it was inevitable that he would succumb to the monsters as well. There was no one left at home to supply him with the food and money they needed, so it was only necessary that he tag along with his eldest brother, the fate in which many others chose themselves. Many had no choice. And look where they wound up now; Under the dirt, not even a proper burial for half them. Though along their way Emil always made sure to stop and give a moment of silence for those who had lost.

Emil never was too sure how the world came to what it was today, or how the monsters even showed up. There were stories and rumours, much he heard during bed time when his brothers would tuck him in as a child, though he didn't believe any were truly accurate. Mat had told him that over the years the monsters multiplied quickly. They used to be manageable, he would say, The towns used to have no walls and the people could roam freely. But a good handful of years ago something happened and nobody was too sure how it happened. Many blamed their father who was the little town's mayor. He had a bad back and was hardly ever home. Hardly any people liked him, or so it was said. There were rumours that he was the one who caused the outbreak in these vicious monsters who feasted off the flesh and souls of the innocent, but Emil never had the heart to believe such a thing was true. Though because of what most believed their father had done they only found it right that once their father had gone missing unexpectedly that the rest of the family would go out and scavenge for food or hunt down the vicious creatures, but they had no right. What had their father done that was so bad?

The city walls kept out the beasts and everything else. The power had long since stopped working, in most of the homes and businesses, and the 'internet', whatever that was, had apparently, ceased existence. The city was beginning to become over crowded, and food supplies were dwindling, though the citizens were told not to worry. Everything was under control. Yeah, right.

There was no real need to worry of course, assuming you weren't a parent-less kid or looking for a little more to fill your stomach than what was considered to be your fair share. If you fit into one of those two categories, you were forced out the gates to scavenge for food, with minimal training on how exactly you were supposed to kill the beasts on the outside. Often times, new recruits were killed or eaten, and whatever was left of their body was left or dragged back and buried outside of their house, assuming they had one, or in one of the local cemeteries, assuming their family had enough money to pay for the dwindling plots, which often wasn't the case.

Mathias Køhler was someone who knew that all too well. At twenty eight, he'd brought home the mangled bodies of two of his brothers: Berwald, who had been only twenty four when he died, in May two years earlier, and Tino, the boy they'd taken in off the streets when he was only five, and hardly hiding from the city officials who swept the streets in search of vagrant children. At the time of his death, Tino had only been eighteen. There was now a threat of the loss of a third brother, Lukas, who had gone missing beyond the walls a few days earlier. So far, the only lead Mathias, and his last little brother Emil- the baby of the family- had, was Lukas's Nordic Cross hair pin, which they had found on the ground, blood spattered but otherwise unharmed.

It was late now, half past 11:30, half past curfew for anyone other than the unlucky few who were tasked with the job 'scavenger'. The group had gone out, split into their hunting parties, which ranged anywhere in size from two to ten people, and had seen little of each other since. The lucky few had battery powered flashlights, though most walked the barren landscape with little other than two kerosene lamps. It was better than nothing... but the popular opinion among the scavengers was that flashlights were much better than the lamps. Armed with anything from guns to swords to spades and shovels, the unlucky wandered the streets past the walls, and even went so far as to take the cracked and crumbling highways to the nearest empty cities. Many of them were children, the youngest being a seven year old girl whose name was currently unknown to everyone other than those in her hunting party, most of whom were hardly any older than she was.

The kids, who stood as straight and as tall as their little bodies could, showed age beyond their years. They had seen too much, they had grown up too fast, and as someone who'd been flung into a similar position when he should have been out, enjoying his youth, Mathias knew just how they felt... Of course, he had enjoyed a little more of his childhood before this job had been abruptly thrust upon him, which was something he considered himself lucky for. He had only started doing this when he was sixteen... These kids were seven, eight, nine... More than once, he'd sent them home, told them they could go sleep in his house, in his room or in one of the empty ones or anywhere they could find to sleep, while he and the older scavengers picked up the slack. The was agreed, among the older of the group, that kids should not be working at something so dangerous... so it wasn't uncommon for others to do the same and send the young ones home to bed. The kids never minded.

Now, Mathias's own hunting party consisted of himself and Emil. Before it had been Lukas, himself, and Emil, but after getting separated a few nights ago, they had, so far, not found their brother. Mathias was determined though... And he could tell that Emil was as well... Somehow, despite not finding him and despite him not coming home, they held out hope that he was still alive...

Emil and Mathias had been out for hours upon hours and it had finally reached the pitch black of the night. It was getting cold and the eerie feeling began to settle on their shoulders. Mathias had a 12-gauge shotgun with a 28 inch vent-rib barrel slung across his shoulder with a makeshift strap from old clothes from the scavengers who died while Emil carried the battery powered flashlight they were supplied with and a 3.75 inch straight edge pocket knife, not to mention he carried the backpack with all their supplies too, such as food and even a map.

By this time, Emil's legs could hardly carry him anymore, though he had to keep going. Their brother Lukas was one of the strongest the committee had ever had. He had a strong mental state and could get rid of the monsters quickly, unlike anybody else. So why would Lukas have died from the monsters? He honestly doubted it. Lukas would never leave him like that, would he? But the blood splattered on the pin stated otherwise.

Emil was starting to lag behind. He was tired, Mat could tell that had been out for awhile, so he supposed he could understand wanting a break... but he was, honestly, too worried about Lukas to really consider stopping. It wasn't that Lukas was weak or incapable, far from it, he could take down the monsters much quicker than anyone else he knew, but he could be reckless and a little overconfident in his own was something Mathias had witnessed many times over, and also something that worried him greatly... With any luck, Lukas was only hurt and had managed to hide himself away. Mathias didn't think he could take losing another member of his family, not with so many of them already dead.

As Emil walked his legs dragged and shuffled underneath him, begging for a break. So he decided to speak up.

"Mathias, we've been out for hours now… Nearly 8 hours, I don't know if I can keep walking.. Surely Lukas is fine..Right?" Emil looked to Mathias for the answer, eyebrows knitted upwards in anxiousness and hope flickering in his eyes.

A break? He wanted to rest? REALLY?!... Well, he wasn't going to deny the kid that luxury. He was only 19, after all. He'd only just started doing this a few months back.. he wasn't quite used to the long treks and the terrible darkness. "...You wanna stop?" he asked, slowing to walk beside his little brother. "We can stop, I guess.. Lukas is probably okay, yeah... I hope so, anyway... I just wanna find him." Shortly after speaking, he slowed to a stop, stretched his back a little, and looked around in the dark. Where they were now, the coast seemed to be clear...

The night was warm, the air heavy and hard to breathe. It was with stopping that he noticed this, that he noticed how dry his throat was and how his lungs ached and his thighs burned. On second thought, stopping might actually not be a bad idea. Hopefully Emil had some water in the bag, or something to drink... Hell, he'd go for anything right now. Something to drink, something to eat; Anything that would give him enough energy to keep going, to find his lost brother.

Mathias set himself down in the grass, and motioned lightly for Emil to sit with him. "I'd say we could go back, but we're a little far to go back right now... We'll rest for awhile, keep looking, and head back when it's light out if we don't find him sooner. Skip tomorrow's shift."

Emil sat down beside Mathias, carefully slipping the backpack off his back, down his arms, and into his hands where he set it down on the grass beside him. He kept his knees bent with his arms hugging them close to his body once he had finally sat down, mostly for warmth. Emil's lips were pursed tightly in a thin, straight line as he leaned to his side to gently lay his head on Mathias shoulder, sighing with quite the frustrated undertone.

"I don't want to skip tomorrow's shift," He mumbled, though it was stern. He stared off into the distance that the flashlight could cover, which wasn't much as it was beginning to lose it's energy from the battery. His eyes were dull and the hope he had seconds ago was seemingly dwindling with another exasperated sigh. Emil was absolutely beyond drained.

"Who knows where Lukas could be. It's best we keep going so maybe we can find him quicker.. If he's hurt, we need to get to him as quickly as possible!" He began to raise his voice, practically begging. One arm unwound itself from his knees to grasp at part of the Dane's coat beside him. He tried to calm down, but it only resulted in his body shaking and tears welling and poking at his eyes. It wasn't fair, he was only nineteen and death started for him as a small child. It wasn't fair.

He sighed quietly, tugging the backpack Emil had placed down and set it in his lap, opening it up to see if there was anything to eat, anything to drink... He just listened to his brother go on for awhile, before he actually bothered to speak up.

"If we head back in the morning, it'll take most of the day to get home and then we won't have time to sleep before we go out again and going out when you're tired is just begging to get yourself killed," he grumbled a little, looking through the bag. He'd seen that too many times to count- mostly with kids, and sometimes with the occasional veteran... Stupid mistakes. That was what had happened to Tino... Too many nights in a row had done him in... And he didn't want to repeat that with Emil. He couldn't care less about himself, but... Emil was the baby, and despite the fact that he was, indeed, an adult, he would always be the baby.

Emil wiped his tears quickly from his eyes, sniffling quick before starting to collect himself. "I'm sorry, Mathias..," he apologized, now looking down at his aching feet that were encased in his muddy, black combat boots. "I'm just...so overwhelmed.. Everyone is dead in our family but you and I... If we lose Lukas... I...," Emil didn't even need to finish, he knew Mathias was aware of exactly what he was getting at.

"I know you want to find Lukas- I do too, trust me-, but he's not going to be found if we go out when we haven't slept. We're just going to get killed and if he's alive, and say, he's hurt, then he'll die too and it'll be completely pointless. The only way we're going to find him is if we're actually AWAKE to do so."

Emil's eyebrows furrowed downwards angrily. "Mathias, you don't get the point!" He yelled, fists balling up as he grasped tighter at the fabric of Mathias's coat. "You don't get it! If we head back we're just going to have to walk back this way again! And again and again! I'll get tired and you'll make us go back home, we'll never get further than this point!" Emil's sentence died off quickly as he calmed down so his breathing wasn't so heavy anymore.

It took him a good few moments to calm down, letting his breath out in a long, slow exhale before continuing his rambling, letting go of Mathias's coat. "Point is, I think we should stay here. We should just.. take turns sleeping. And if one of us sees anything, we'll tell the other. I'm not willing to give up on Lukas, and I know you never will..."

The moment was silent for a few moments before Emil said anything else.

"I know what Lukas means to you..."

Mathias frowned heavily, pulling a bottle of water out of the bag and opening it to take a sip before answering.

"Sure. Whatever. We'll stay out, I don't care. It's not like there's jack shit at home anyway... You can sleep first. I'll wake you up if something happens. Do we have extra batteries? Are there even extra batteries anymore?" That was a stupid question. Of COURSE there weren't. No one ever got extra batteries. Batteries were like gold now, they were so hard to come by. With a sigh, he continued, "Forget I asked that, of course we don't." A little frustrated, he dug through his bag for a pack of matches, with the intent of making a fire for light. If they were staying over night, they'd need light…

Emil looked away from Mathias, hearing the frustration in his voice. He didn't mean to make this more upsetting than it already was, but he couldn't help but want to urge this on. He knew that this would be the best idea to go by, and he was sticking with that. So with the quick thought he stretched out and gave a big yawn.

"Alright... Just wake me up when you want your turn..." Emil nodded, moving so he wasn't leaning against Mathias anymore who just pulled out matches. He stood up once he saw the matches, knowing what Mathias was about to do. "Here, I'll go grab some stray twigs, I'll stay in the light so you don't have to worry..." Was all he said, not caring about what Mat would say to that.

He grumbled something along the lines of 'You'd better stay in the light', before Emil got up to collect some twigs and things for their fire. He didn't wanna lose track of his brother, after all... He dug some of the trash and such out of their bag and set them up with the twigs to use as kindling, started up the fire, and shut the flashlight off to save battery power.

Just like he said, Emil stayed in the light, leaning down and picking up dead and fallen twigs. Once he had a good handful he brought them to where the two of them sat, moving down onto his knees and placing them all down gently.

"You don't mind if I rest my head on your lap, do you?" Emil asked quite sheepishly, looking up at his brother. Nothing would ever change the fact that he liked to be comforted and close to his brothers in times like these, and this wasn't an exception.

"Nah, I don't mind. Get over here, kid," he tugged Emil over beside him lightly, made him sit down, and lightly messed up his hair. "Make yourself comfy, get some sleep. I'll wake you up if I need you." He'd keep the fire going, stay up and make sure everything was alright while Emil slept... It was almost nostalgic, actually. He could remember when Emil was little, when it would storm or when the monsters outside the walls got particularly loud, he would crawl out of his bed, and climb in with himself and whoever else happened to be sleeping in his bed that night, assuming someone else was scared of the storm or was having a bad dream or something of the sort... Emil would wake him up, sniffling and crying and mumbling about not being able to sleep, so Mathias would gently scoop him up and snuggle him lightly in his arms and tell him that nothing would get him, nothing would hurt him... he could sleep, it was okay. Later, it was Lukas who spent most of his time taking care of Emil, but for the first few years of the kid's life, it had, for the most part, fallen on Mat's shoulders to look after him... He was the big brother, after all. He had to look after all four of them. He'd never really been that great of a big brother, looking back on it…

Emil smiled and let out a few soft chuckles, scrunching up his face as Mathias messed up his hair. Afterwards, after a few failed attempts at making himself comfortable, he finally placed his head down on his brother's thigh. Emil sighed contently and his eyes fluttered closed. The sound of the fire beginning to crack and sizzle was kind of soothing. He rather there be some noise besides the rustling of leaves in the wind or the dead silence. Not many animals lived there as much as they had used to.

A few moments later, once he's sure that Mathias is done starting the fire, Emil hesitantly moves his hand to find that of his brother's. Despite being nineteen now holding hands was still something that could comfort him, he hoped Mat didn't mind.

One last time Emil opened his eyes to look up at the sky, stars twinkling gently up against the dark canvas, little to no clouds in sight. A small smile gently poked at Emil's lips before they parted.

"Ya think Berwald and Tino are up there? Do ya think they're looking down on us? ... I think they'd be proud of us, Mat... They'd be real proud...," Emil shut his eyes, closing them tight. A few tears squeezed out and ran down his face, leaving gentle water stains on his rosy cheeks.

He looked up at the sky thoughtfully, content to stare at it for a moment to mull over Emil's question before replying quietly.

"...I hope they are. I dunno what happens to people after they die, but I hope Ber and Tino are okay..." He squeezed his brother's hand lightly, threading the fingers of his free hand gently through the kid's hair. "If anything, Ber's probably scolding me for something," he almost laughed, sounding amused, if rather sad. "Scoldin' me for letting you talk me inta staying out, probably. Tino's probably tellin' him it's for the best. God bless Tino, getting that asshole off my back..." he sighed a little. "...I miss them."

"I miss them too...," Emil mumbled gently, moving his head so his eye closest to Mat's thigh could gently rub against the fabric of his rough jeans to remove the tears. "God bless Tino's heart too... He was probably the strongest out of all of us, now that I think of it... " He sighed gently, moving his head back to how it was originally before wiping away the tears.

"I'm sure we'll make it though... Even if Lukas isn't with us either... We have to do this. For Berwald, For Tino... For Lukas, and for everyone else who lost their lives... To all these god forsaken monsters..," Emil hissed angrily, his grip on Mathias's hand growing tighter.

Emil sighed and calmed down before speaking up. "You're a good brother, Mat... I love you.. Sleep tight,"

"...Love you too, kiddo. Sleep well," he replied quietly, looking down at him for a moment, fondly, before turning his eyes up to the sky... Maybe Ber and Tino were up there? God, he hoped so. Wherever they were, if they were anywhere, he hoped they were okay... He hoped Berwald forgave him for being such a shitty big brother, and, God, he hoped Tino was keeping him company. Ber was never very good on his own...

He let Emil sleep for hours. He was tired himself, but it was the sort of tired where he knew just by closing his eyes, that sleep wouldn't be coming soon. About two hours in, there was a rustling that startled him into picking up his gun, though it was quickly revealed to be nothing but a small group of other scavengers, just kids, who'd gotten lost on their first night out... They huddled around the fire and napped for a few hours before they woke up and he directed them home. The fire seemed to keep the monsters away... He would have to keep that in mind.

A/N Thank you all so much for reading the first chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it, and hopefully in the next few days the next chapter should be up