Gomenasai

~ . ~ . ~

"Gomenasai, Lenalee-chan."

Those little words, spoken in a little voice. It was just the very beginning.

~ . ~ . ~

"Kanda!" a sweet voice called out. I turned to see the Chinese teenager running towards me. Lenalee. My, God, I swore right then my heart swelled up twice it's size, choking me. It has been the same since I first really saw her, and it never changes, never lessening, always growing.

But now, she approached me, running, with her short skirt and shorter hair, waving her hand wide, making sure she had my attention, a wide smile lighting her face, her lavender eyes glowing. She seemed happy. Actually, she seemed very happy. Was something going on without my knowing? I stopped, waiting for her to catch up.

"Kanda, thank God I found you." She panted out. She put on hand on my shoulder, trying to keep her balance as she caught her breath. That hand…it made the lump in my throat grow even more. I wondered, if I tried to speak, would anything come out?

That was why I never wanted her to touch me: her tiniest touch ruined my composure. I want nothing more than for her to touch me, but her touch is my downfall. As with her sparkling eyes.

Like when the smiled up at me now.

"Kanda, it's Allen's birthday tomorrow! We have to get ready for it!"

Oh, brilliant. That damned bean sprout. Ever since he came to the Order, he had near complete control over Lenalee's attention, so much that I barely get a chance to speak to her myself anymore.

Like I can speak much anyways.

But seriously, the idiot I hate, who is practically stealing Lenalee from me(well, she was never mine, but since he's here I'll never have a chance…), is going to be celebrating his birthday tomorrow. And Lenalee wants nothing more that to make sure he gets it. And now I have to help him? Yeah, right.

"I'm not going to do anything for that damned Moyashi." And with that cold damned remark/answer, I turned away from Lenalee's warm touch to walk down a chilling hallway. Damn, I hated myself so much for that. I could only imagine what Lenalee was thinking now, how she felt.

Like I wanted to know.

~ . ~ . ~

'Damnit. Damnitdamnitdamnit!' I couldn't help but curse at myself. I mean, who else was guilty but me? I hurt Lenalee. Well, she might have already forgotten by now…but for bean sprout's birthday? No!

But, wait a minute…his birthday was tomorrow? Didn't he celebrate his birthday on Christmas? So didn't that mean that today was Christmas Eve? DAMN! How could I NOT notice the decorations?! Well, it might be because I was on a mission and I can't get Lenalee out of my head…

Wait, that's right. I haven't even gotten a gift for her yet.

DAMNIT!

~ . ~ . ~

How on God's green Earth had I forgotten about Christmas? Better question: How had I forgotten to get Lenalee a gift? It wasn't like I had ever gotten a person a gift before, but this year was different…as was this person.

I don't know when it started. Well, I guess I do know. I've known Lenalee since we were kids. Back then, even though I was cold as ice to her, we were still somewhat friends. Mostly, I think, because she needed someone. She was a lonely kid in the Black Order. I was her way out.

I guess I cared for her back then, letting her hang out with me when she needed it. But not like now. I think it started when Bean Sprout came to the Order. I guess I realized then that I could lose her. And then the feelings intensified.

As kids, I think I felt that way because, hell, she was a cute kid. But now, she's nearly a grown lady, and I'm nearly a grown man. How the hell was I supposed to know that she would grow so attractive?! Damnit, now what was I gonna do?

But, all my regret for falling on love with the most beautiful woman in the Order put aside, I had to think: what was I going to give her for Christmas?

It had to be something special. Nothing to elaborate, she didn't like that. Something elegant and beautiful, just like her. Strong, too. But what kind of gift is strong? The complications of the perfect gift doubled with the fact that all stores were CLOSED for the holiday did not make my mood better.

And so, sitting moodily in my room, trying my damnedest to think of what I could give her, and of what I had said to her earlier…how I was always so cold to her…and of how I never apologized to her…

There was one time, though, when I apologized to her. When we were younger. It was just a little bit after Komui came to the Order. Lenalee, after promising to stay in the Order with her brother, was allowed to walk outside of her hospital room. That was the very second time I had ever seen her. The first was when I caught a peek of her chained to a bed, thrashing and screaming for freedom. I thought of her as a freak. I didn't blame her, I wanted out of the damned building just as much as her, but she was chained to a bed. Insane freak…

But when I first saw her walking down the hall, long black dress, little black shoes - her Dark Boots - clinging onto her brother for dear life, I couldn't help but think how frail she looked, how completely and utterly breakable.

But still, she was insane.

So what did I do? When she was told to wait outside the science department door while Komui went to get something, I pushed her into the wall. Cold-hearted bastard I was back then, too.

The next day, I butted in front of her at the food line.

Later, I intentionally hit her with my practice sword as we worked in the training hall.

That afternoon, in the library, Lavi was talking at me(AT me, not WITH me) about who-knows-what, and I saw the girl walk in. I interrupted Lavi to tell him - loudly enough that she could hear me - about the insane girl who was finally allowed to leave her room, about how weird she was, and stupid, and ugly, and pathetic and-

And then she ran out crying.

God, I felt sick. So what did I do?

I ran after her.

She wasn't that hard to find. I found her outside the infirmary, curled into the fetal position and crying like only a little girl could. Damn, she looked pathetic. But she was just a little girl. And she was crying. I made her cry. A girl shouldn't cry. They have no reason to.

Well, I guess now she did. Damn, I felt bad.

"Lenalee-chan?" I asked, in my native tongue. English still wasn't my strong point.

She jumped, and when she saw me, she looked scared that I might do something to her again. Regret took me over. I hadn't felt this bad in years.

I knelt in front of her. "Lenalee-chan." I didn't think she would understand me, because I could only say this in my native tongue. I put my hands together as if to pray, and bowed my head. "Gomenasai, Lenalee-chan."

That was the first time I ever apologized.

I'm not sure how we got to it, but somehow I ended up sitting next to her, listening as she talked. And I remember I wanted to listen, to. It wasn't like listening to the rabbit. This was better.

"I'm not crazy." she said in stumbling English. "They took me from my home a couple years ago. They took me away from my brother, they took me as soon as my parent's died. I just wanted to leave, I wanted to be with my brother again." She was so sad. I could only imagine what she was going through. "That is why I kept trying to escape. And because I would not stay still, they chained me to the bed." She looked at me. Fear was strong in her eyes. "And that man. He scares me so much. I do not like him, I do not like him at all!" I could tell she was going to start crying again, so I wrapped an arm around her, and I hugged her.

"I will protect you. I will keep him away from you." I said softly. I raised up my right hand, the one I held Mugen with. "I will protect you with this hand." I clenched it in a fist, probably for the dramatics.

She looked up at me. "Will you? Will you really?" she asked. I nodded, and she smiled lightly and hugged me back. At the time people would say that that was just a silly little promise that a boy would make to a girl to make them feel better, a promise that he could never keep. But they didn't know me. I kept that promise.

For a while after that, I learned about that man, and I learned about her. I finally understood her, and I told her that if she ever needed someone to listen, I would be there. And she understood that. Ever since, she would come to my room, visit me in the training area, sit with me at meals, and she would just sit with me. Sometimes she would never talk, sometimes she would. She would come meditate with me, or just sit near me. Eventually, I understood when she was upset, or when something was troubling her, and I would give her what little support or advice I had. And she understood me, I think. She understood that I didn't talk much. And she was alright with that. Because we were friends.

And I was falling for her.

Gomenasai, Lenalee-chan.

The first thing I ever said to her. And I think it was the only really caring thing I said to her.

And now I was completely in love with her, sitting moodily on my bed, thinking of her, of when we were young, of the first thing I had said to her. I can't say that I ever regretted falling for her. Hell, I wanted to tell her, but I didn't know how. And I didn't think she liked me like that.

But thinking back to my predicament about the gift, I realized that I wanted to give her something that would show her how much I loved her. And then I remembered: I never apologized to her since back then. I knew exactly what to get her. Now to see if I could find a place that could get me something like that.

I grabbed my jacket and ran out of my room. Anyone I passed was curious as to my hurry, especially Lavi, who watched me as I ran to the waterways.

"Hey, Yu! Where ya goin'?!" he called. I didn't respond, not even to him saying my first name. "That's weird." I heard him say, right before I descended the final stairwell to the gondolas.

~ . ~ . ~

It was already 8:00. I could see the stores all closing early for the holidays, and I could tell that it was getting too late to find a gift. I knew exactly what I was looking for, though, so it shouldn't be that hard, right? Wrong. I wanted this to be special, but I couldn't for the life of me find that special thing.

I stopped at a jewellery shop that looked promising. Peeking in the display case, I saw strings of pearls, jewel encrusted necklaces, oversized brooches, and shining hair clips. There was also a selection of rings, with big jewels and intricate designs. They were all too much. She wouldn't want anything like this. But then something caught my eye. A slender golden band, with a tiny amethyst inlaid to the front. Perfect.

I rushed to the door. The old guy running the shop was about to close up.

"Hey! Hey!" I called. He looked over, and the guy looked like he was well into his 60's, and maybe not as well off as his shop looked to be. "Can you get me that ring?"

The man looked to where I pointed. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, and seemed to kind of give in. "For a special girl?" he asked with a small smile.

I felt my cheeks redden a little. "You could say that." I replied.

"Well, come on in." he said with a small chuckle, and reopened the door for me.

~ . ~ . ~

"Here we are." the old man said, pulling the ring off the pillow and presenting it to me in a handkerchief.

I took it from his hand, and inspected it in the low lighting. "It's perfect." I whispered.

The old man nodded and went to his register. "Would you like it in a package of some sort?" he asked.

I was about to reply, but as I turned the little ring in the light, I noticed how it glinted off the interior of the ring. "Before that," I said, still distracted by the ring. "Can I get something inscribed into the middle of this? How long would it take?"

"Well, you certainly can get something inscribed in it." the old man said, slightly stunned by my request. "It'll take a while, though." I nodded. "What would you like it to say?"

~ . ~ . ~

"I told you, right? This is going to be costly." the old man said, as he sat hunched over the ring, where it was carefully clamped so that he could make the little inscription.

"I understand," I said, standing beside his table, watching as he copied the words off a piece of paper. "Money's not a problem."

"You must really love this woman." he said. I just nodded. "I had a woman like that one time. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and ever since I had first lain eyes on her, I couldn't get her out of my head. It was barely a year after I had met her, that I asked her to marry me."

"Did she agree?" I asked. It was a kind of a sick curiosity, I guess, that got me to ask. Or maybe I could learn something from this old guy. He knew far more about life than I did.

"Oh, yes, she agreed." he said. "And I gave her the world. What she needed, what she wanted, I gave it to her. She was my whole world."

"What happened to her?"

"She passed away last year. Our son went off to serve in the military and he never came back. The grief killed her. Surely you know the horrors of war?" I guess he had recognized my uniform jacket.

"Yeah." I said, a little reluctantly.

"And you want to get her while you still can?"

That took me off guard. "N-No! It's nothing like that!" My face was going red, I could feel it. Damn, I never blushed! "Her brother would kill me if I asked for marriage." I muttered.

The old man chuckled. I wondered briefly if that would affect the inscription. "Well, if she would want you, you would be surprised what family does for family. I remember, my wife's brother, he told me, after the wedding, that he had done everything in his power to help his sister get closer to me." He laughed again. "Funny how that happens, eh?"

"Hm." I huffed. I went to look at a display of chains behind me. There were a very wide variety, I admit. Most were necklace chains, meant for pendants and charms. Gold, silver, nickel and pewter; Big links, smaller ones, even chains with a variety of different colours or mixed link sizes and lengths. And one caught my eye pretty well. Just like the ring. Long - long enough to wrap very loosely around a person's neck twice - thin, and golden, but I could tell the weave was strong. Something elegant and beautiful, just like her. Strong, too. Perfect. "I want this chain, too."

The old man looked up briefly from his work to the chain I was taking from the rack. "A good choice. That's one of the best chain's I've made. And so long as you have no qualms about money, it's yours."

"Money's no issue." I said, turning the chain over in my hands.

"Alright, it's done." The man said.

~ . ~ . ~

"Here." the old man said, pressing the little brown-paper package into my hand and looking directly at me, his old blue eyes serious. "Now, you take good care of that girl, you got it? Protect her, be there when she needs you, know her, understand her. And love her. God, you better love her the best you can. Women make the world go 'round, in more ways than one. You make sure she gets all that she deserves." He was looking at me dead in the eyes. "If you truly love her, you will give her all that you can and you will do anything to make her happy."

I sniffed. "You know what you wrote on this?" I asked, gesturing to the package. "That, is exactly what I promised her." I half turned to leave, but stopped short. I looked back at the man, who was still watching me. "What…What's your name…?" I asked tentatively.

The man smiled. "You can call me Garry." He said. "Garry Brass."

I nodded lightly. "Brass." I looked down at the package. "Thank you."

~ . ~ . ~

It was well after midnight when I got back to the Order building. The only people awake were the late night cleaning staff, and they paid me no mind.

Walking through the halls, making my way to my room, package feeling proverbially heavy in my pocket, I passed by the library. It was odd, though, that this late at night the door was open and a light was coming from inside. Even Bookman and Lavi didn't stay up this late to do their records in there.

I pushed open the door - damn, curiosity was always getting the best of me tonight - and I found the source of light. In the back corner, a single oil lamp was flickering out it's last supplies of fuel. And in the tiny pool of light, I saw a small figure, curled up in a lounge chair in front of a table littered with paper.

Lenalee-chan.

Slowly and carefully, I padded my way over to her table. She was asleep in the chair, using her arm as a cushion. A blanket that looked like it was covering her had slipped down, and only covered her feet. She looked so at peace to me, as if all her worries about Levverreir and Innocence and the war and her world were all gone as she slept. And she was so beautiful. I could feel my heart swell up again as the lamplight flicked over her face. But I noticed a little glint out of the corner of my eye. The table was littered with packages of different sizes, wrapped in different coloured shimmering papers and ribbons. Christmas gifts. And clutched close to her chest, a half-wrapped, tiny black box, in silver paper. The blue ribbon was nearly finished being tied when Lenalee fell asleep. It didn't have a name, but the silver, I knew, matched Moyashi. It was meant for him.

I felt my heart deflate, almost as fast as it had grown. I should have known. Of course Lenalee would have something special for him. I should have seen that she liked him.

But that didn't matter. I would still give her my gift. It meant something, damnit. It was a promise. Even if she just thought it as a friend-type-thing, it still belongs to her.

I pulled the blanket higher around her, tucking it in securely. But, with one hand resting behind her head on the top of the chair, and my other arm on the opposite armrest, it was the closest thing to a hug that I had ever given her since when we were children. And my face was so close to hers. I couldn't help it. I brushed a strand of hair from her brow, and kissed her forehead. If anyone had seen me, I'm sure they would have run screaming, but I didn't care. Even if she didn't feel the same for me, I could still show love for her, right? Even give her brotherly love. I just wanted to see her happy.

I didn't sleep very well that night. I only thought of that little package beside my hourglass, and Lenalee dozing in the library. I didn't know how tomorrow would go over. I didn't want to know.

~ . ~ . ~

As per usual, I tried to avoid as much as possible on Christmas morning. Everywhere I went, there was joy and merriment. Gifts being exchanged, cookies and eggnog and holly and mistletoe all around. It was scarring. Walking into the cafeteria for breakfast, I got caught under the mistletoe with Miranda, the stupid skittish one. Luckily, I got out of it with just a small peck on the top of her head, but she wouldn't stop freaking out all morning, and Lavi wouldn't stop teasing me about it. I swear I was about to kill him when he asked me a very off-topic question.

"Hey, Yu? Wheredya go so late last night?"

That stopped me from killing him. Should I tell him? No, I shouldn't. He didn't deserve to know.

"What would you say if I told you that I did want to get caught under the mistletoe, but with someone different?" Why the hell was I telling him?!

His good eye grew wide. "Oh. So that's watch yeh were doin'?" He seemed to comprehend. I barely nodded. He chuckled. "Well, it must be one lucky girl who caught my Yu-chan's eye!" he laughed, throwing an arm around me.

"Che." I said. "You have no idea… And don't call me by that name."

"Ne, whatever. But are ya gonna tell her?" I nodded. "Tonight?" I nodded. "Are ya gonna give her a present?" I nodded again. "Aw, c'mon, Yu! Gimme somethin' to work with here! Throw me a bone! Ya gotta tell me more'n that! Gimme more than one word answers, pleeease?" Yes, I was frustrating him!

This was getting annoying, though. I sniffed and stood. "I don't need to tell you anything more." I said, and left the cafeteria. Getting to the door, though, I nearly ran into Lenalee, who was guiding a group of laughing people, including Moyashi in a party hat and the suddenly fretting Miranda. A lot like last night, I felt a little deflated when I saw Moyashi and Lenalee together, her nearly tripping and grabbing his shoulder for support, laughing all the while.

"Oh, Kanda!" she called. "Wanna sit with us today?"

"No," I said, a little softer than I meant. "I just ate, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" she asked, a little more concerned this time. "It's Allen's birthday and all, you know? You sure you don't want to just sit with us?"

"No, I need to train."

She seemed a little down by that. "Well, alright. We'll see you later, then!" and with that, the group of them passed me by.

"Yeah." I said, more to myself than anything.

"I SAW THAT!!" Lavi called.

Rage and embarrassment came back, and drove me out the doors of the cafeteria with a vividly red face. I would be eating rabbit someday, I would be sure of it.

~ . ~ . ~

Because it was a holiday, dinner that night was an actual organized event, instead of everybody-eat-when-you-feel-like-it. And everyone who wanted to come was invited. To me, it seemed like a mandatory thing, how everyone was acting and pressuring us all to come. I think that was the only reason that I went. That, and I was hungry.

Dinner was, for lack of a better word, a big party. A dual party, as it was the much loved Moyashi's birthday. Festive decorations covered the walls, along with balloons and birthday streamers. Banners of "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Birthday Allen" hung side-by-side from the ceiling. At least four giant decorated evergreen trees stood around the room, behind long tables over-laden with turkeys, big hams, Christmas pudding, punch bowls - that I was sure I saw Lavi spiking before he was dragged away by Bookman - birthday cakes, ice cream, soups, three big plates of miratashi dango - most likely for Moyashi - and, thankfully, a platter of soba tempura. Well, at least someone was thinking here. Looking around the room, seated at one of the eighteen big round tables, I wondered who had actually gone through all of the trouble to do all of this for the Order. I can only remember a few times when Christmas had been anything like this. Then I heard one of the finders talking loudly to my right.

"Hey! Lenalee!" he called. From the corner of my eye, I saw a big burly finder run up to Lenalee and throw an arm around her. Maybe he had gotten into the punch. "You did a great job doin' this place up, eh?" Of course Lenalee would do this. She loved the Order.

I heard her laugh lightly. "Thank you, but you can't just thank me. A lot of people helped set this up, so many I can't even count. You gotta thank them, too." Ah, so modest, she was.

"Yeah, but you planned it all out! We wouldn't have this if not for you!" he laughed.

"Well, thank you!" The two guys drifted away, laughing. I saw Lenalee look my way, as if she knew I was listening in. I kept my eyes down, and took another sip of my drink. Yup, definitely spiked.

"Kanda?" That sweet voice again, calling for my attention. I looked up to her, her evening wear nearly my undoing. A low-cut, strapless, short dress, red and fitted around her torso, and the flaring short skirt with multiple layers and stripped red and white candy-cane style. Her stockings, too, were stripped the same way. She had a big red ribbon tied around her waist, the ends falling over a train in the back of the dress, with multiple different length layers. And to top it off, she had red ribbons in her hair. She was so cute in that outfit! How could Komui let her out in that?! It didn't help me, either, that in that low top she was bending over slightly to my level. "Are you having a good time?" she asked sweetly. It was a stupid question to me, but how could I resent her for asking?

So, instead, I still went for the prick move. Unintentionally, of course. "It's Christmas. People being idiots all around, spending way too much money on things people don't need. Eating 'til they bust, drinking 'til they're drunk. What's there to like?" Damn, I'm such a prick sometimes!

She stood straighter, and I saw her become a little sad. She didn't show it for long, though. And I saw that she had her arms behind her back. For what reason, I didn't know. She smiled at me. It didn't reach her eyes. "Well, I hope you get to have a little bit of fun tonight." she said, and turned away, moving her hands to her front. I caught a glimpse of the little silver box from last night. Moyashi's gift.

I still felt like a prick, though, making her sad. "Good job." I called. She turned back to me, maybe with shock on her face. I didn't know, I stared into my drink. "On setting the party, that is."

I think I heard a smile in her voice. A real smile. "Thank you, Kanda."

~ . ~ . ~

The party was now in full swing, and Lavi was already half dunk and gifts were being exchanged. Moyashi got the most, I think. Lenalee, too. Lavi must have gotten a bunch, because he had a hoard of people all around him. Or maybe he was just goofing off. I dunno. I didn't get much. I didn't expect it. I did, though, get a pink sweater with black cats on it from Lavi, which I promptly tied him to a chair with before tipping it over. That would give his drunken mind some good fun, and myself a little satisfaction.

But I couldn't get my mind off of the little present in my pocket for Lenalee. I wanted so bad to give it to her, but not in public. Not in front of everyone else. That would ruin me forever. And Komui might kill me if he saw me give such a thing to his baby sister. Maybe I could get her alone somehow?

Well, everyone was in here, sooo…just outside the room? Yeah, that would work. There was a dark, rarely-used hallway just outside the cafeteria.

Somehow, but I have no idea how, I managed to catch Lenalee's eye as she laughed in a group congratulating Allen on his 16th birthday. We managed to make eye-contact, and I nodded over to the door. I think she nodded, I couldn't tell, my blood pressure was going up too high as I made my way to the door, out to the hall.

I stood at the corner of the hall that I wanted to meet, so she would know where I was. I leaned against the wall, trying my best to calm myself down. It wouldn't do to be a nervous wreck at this point. Barely three minutes later, I had managed to calm a little and Lenalee appeared outside the door. She spotted me, I spotted her, and ducked out behind the corner. She was there in a moment.

"Kanda?" she asked. "What's up?" Ah, her face was so sweet an innocent!

I dug my hands into my pockets, one wrapping around the chain. My heart was going a thousand beats a minute. I couldn't look her in the eye, so I kept my blushing face slightly averted. Thank God for the low lighting. "I, wanted to give you something." I stumbled out. Nervously, anxiously. Anyone could spot it out and I knew it. I tugged the chain out of my pocket. Whatever light there was flooding from the cafeteria glinted off of the golden ring on it's sparkling chain. And the little inscription inside, 'Gomenasai, Lenalee-chan', and on the outside, opposite of the shimmering amethyst, 'I Promise'. The little promise I made to her, and the beg for forgiveness for all the bullshit I've given her over the years. I knew it was special. It was perfect. Even I, who had no sense of fashion or beauty at all, could say that it was a beautiful thing. I heard Lenalee give a shallow gasp, and I looked up momentarily to watch her soft violet eyes grow wide, and her mouth go into a little 'o' shape. She was stunned, and I liked that.

She stepped forward a little, touching the ring on it's thin chain. Carefully, as to not touch the bows in her hair, I slipped the necklace over her head, gently placing it on her neck. My fingers just barely brushed against her collarbone, and my stomach did back-flips. Man, I needed to get a hold of that!

I backed up half a step, and she lifted the ring from where it hung just below her breasts. She read both inscriptions in the light, and I really hoped she liked it as much as I liked it on her. But she did something I hadn't precedented: She put it on her left ring finger. I was shocked, embarrassed, and excited all at the same time. She really did like it, smiling at the little ring as it fit perfectly on her finger.

"It's beautiful." she whispered, taking the ring off to marvel at the tiny amethyst, exactly the same shade as her eyes. "Thank\you." She stared at the little ring a moment longer, and I thought that was it, and was now devising a way out. Stupid of me to expect that she got something for me. I was too much of a bastard. But, like so much more often, she proved me wrong. Suddenly, digging around in a hidden little pocket of her skirt, she produced a tiny box. "I got something for you, too."

Now, it was my turn to be stunned. It was the little silver box with the blue ribbon that I saw last night. It wasn't for Moyashi? "For me?" I asked lamely. She nodded, and I took the little box from her hands. I tugged the ribbon loose and let the paper fall open, showing the black box within. Lenalee was watching me closely for me to open it, something like curiosity for my reaction in her face. The box looked much like that for a bracelet or a ring, like what I saw in Brass's shop. Carefully, I popped the box open. There laying on a bed of black silk, a bracelet made of the darkest green jade beads, all uniform and perfect in size, joined by a little silver clasp. The only little bead that wasn't the same was right in the dead center. It was flatter, wider and oval. And on it, an inscription, much like the one in her ring. It was a Japanese kanji, one I knew well but hadn't seen in years.

Arigatou.

Thank you.

She always knew, didn't she?

"I didn't really know what to get you." She said, suddenly the shy one, staring at her feet and wringing her hands. "I knew that you didn't like little trivial things like that, but when I saw it, I just thought that it would be right." I could faintly see her blush in the dim lighting. Oh, she was so cute! "And I wanted to thank you for all you've done for me over the years."

She was right, I didn't usually go for little things like a bracelet, not unless it could help me on missions. But when I picked it up, to admire it in the light, the perfection of the spheres, the careful engraving, and that it was from her, it was beautiful. I gave the gift a little smile. "The cloth is a handkerchief." she added, seeming to like my reaction to the bracelet. "I got it to wrap the bracelet in to protect it when I bought it, but I thought that you might like that, too. I embroidered it for you." And she was right. I balanced the string of polished stones on a couple fingers, and took the silk from the bottom of the container. It was indeed very fine black silk, and in the right corner, in white stitching, YK with little decorative swirls framing the letters. Even something that looked a little like Mugen beside the 'k' was stitched in. It wasn't perfect, but she did it herself. That was wonderful on it's own.

I had to say, I was speechless. Maybe she could tell, I didn't know, but she took the box from my hand and put it back in her pocket. She took the bracelet from my fingers, and clasped it to my right hand. My fighting hand. The one I had promised to protect her with.

I felt the inklings of a smile tug again at my mouth. "Thank you." I whispered. And as I turned the bracelet over and over on my wrist, I noticed another little inscription, this time on the flip-side of the oval stone. I could have died right there when I read it.

Aishiteru.

"Merry Christmas, Kanda." She said.

And I couldn't resist it. She was so sweet, so cute, standing right there in front of me, wearing the ring I gave her around her neck. If there were mistletoe, I would have had an excuse. But seeing as I didn't really have one, I decided to make one.

If Komui came around the corner, I could say I was sleep walking or drunk.

I didn't tell her that, though. Instead, I leaned in carefully, as if I were creeping up to get a better look at a bird as it ate seed off a sidewalk. My right hand, still holding the handkerchief came up to cup her cheek, my left to the side of her neck. She looked surprised at first, but something in my face must have said something. She smiled, and met me half-way as I kissed her. It was like everything else in the world fell away, and all that was important was her. It was probably the single most amazing thing that had ever happened to me. Her mouth was soft and sweet, gentle as a summers breeze, and when she opened her mouth to invite me, her tongue was like silk on mine. Her hands were in my hair, hugging me closer to her, and I wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her tight to me like I would never let her go. She was beautiful. Everything about her was perfect and wonderful, and…and I -

"Aishiteru." My thoughts were verbalized when we broke apart. But I didn't regret it. I loved her. "Merry Christmas."

"Aishiteru, Yu-kun."

We kissed again.

And again.

I forget what happened the rest of that night. All I knew was that I was happy, kissing the woman I loved.

~ . ~ . ~

The day after Christmas was full of hangovers and clean-up. Order people were usually good with keeping a party neat, so it was mostly a matter of cleaning up people from inside the cafeteria where they passed out everywhere. Lavi was nowhere to be found, but a lot of people suspected that he was being reprimanded by Bookman for his stupid pranks. Well, that's what everyone hoped, anyways.

Komui watched from the door of his office as people dragged their buddies down the hall. From the corner of his eye, he spotted Allen leaving Reever's office, probably helping drag in some paperwork or something. He smiled. Allen was a good help last night.

"Hey, Allen." he called. The boy looked over and smiled at the Chinese, walking over to meet him. "I never got a chance to thank you, for last night, that is."

Allen gave a knowing look.

*

Komui was standing almost right next to Kanda when he noticed the little gesture. Although Kanda never knew it, Komui saw Kanda and Lenalee's eyes meet, and Kanda nod to the door. Suspicion instantly arouse, and Komui knew something was up. He waited in the shadows as he watched Kanda leave the room, and visually followed Lenalee as she followed in suit. He followed her silently. His usual reaction to seeing something like this would be to blow the offending man making such a gesture to his sister to pieces. But he had known for a while now that Lenalee liked Kanda. It was only hope that made Komui believe that Kanda felt the same. Although Komui wanted his sister to stay away from bad men that might hurt her, he knew Kanda better than that, and all he wanted was to see her happy. Hell, he and Allen had helped in advising her in what she could get for him. He hoped that Kanda would be able to return his little sister's feelings.

Poking his head out the door, he saw the two of them duck behind a corner, and using the super quiet sneaking abilities only a big brother could develop, he crept to the corner and peeked around it, seeing the golden glint from Kanda's pocket as he pulled something precious from it, offering it to Lenalee. Komui smiled as he watched the exchange. He did like her. And from the kiss, Komui would even say that Kanda loved her.

Komui grinned shallowly, and slunk back away from the hall where they were. Sure, she was his little sister, but he knew, she was growing up. He couldn't shelter her forever. And if Kanda was what she wanted, he would let her have him. But he didn't want anyone disturbing his little sister's fun.

Coming back into the room, Komui spotted Allen near the doors. With ease, he pulled the birthday boy aside to talk.

"Allen, I know it's your birthday and all, but could you do me a favour?" Komui asked. "For Lenalee?"

The boy grinned happily. "Of course." He said, ever smiling.

"Can you help me keep people from going outside for the night?" Komui winked. "I don't want anyone disturbing them."

Allen's eyes went wide and he laughed. "So he finally did it, eh?" he said, more to himself than anything. "No problem, Komui. Anything for Lenalee."

*

Overall, their task wasn't real hard, but still, they felt good about it afterwards, when they spied Kanda leading Lenalee to her room by the hand sometime after midnight.

Allen smiled. "You're welcome." he said, leaning against the railing above one of the main halls. Komui came to join him. "You know I'd do anything for Lenalee. She's like a sister to me."

"But you can never replace me." Komui said firmly. "Blood beats friends."

Allen laughed. "Of course! You were her brother first, you get dibbs!" He looked over the edge of the rail. "But neither of us can give her that." he said. Komui looked where Allen was looking. It was Kanda and Lenalee. He picked a heavy box easily out of her hands, hefting the bauble-filled thing onto his left shoulder, wrapping the opposite arm around her waist. She was laughing and smiling as he leaned down to kiss her. It seemed that Kanda had no issue with public shows of affection, but onlookers were stupefied in shock. Komui supposed it was an odd thing to see, but a good thing. If you looked closely, you could probably see a bit of a smile on his face. "We can't love her like he can. And if he can make her happy, then he deserves that chance."

Komui smiled softly at the scene below him. They were smiling. "You're right. They're happy." he said quietly.

They watched on a little longer, and Allen stood straight, patting Komui's back. "But you'll always be number one to her. See ya later." He left Komui there, leaning over the railing, watching his sister happily. But it was a bittersweet happy. For some reason, no matter what Allen said, Komui knew he was now competing for number one to Lenalee with someone else.

"Supervisor!" someone called. Johnny. Running toward Komui, out of breath from what seemed like a heavy sprint. "Supervisor Komui!" He stopped beside Komui, doubling over in fatigue. "Lenalee! - huff - It's Lenalee! - huff - Kanda - huff - and - huff - Lenalee - huff - they - wheeze…they…!"

"I know." Komui said simply, still watching the couple.

"You - you know?" Johnny puffed, disbelieving.

"I know." At that moment, Lenalee didn't see, but Kanda looked over his shoulder. He saw Komui, but nothing of fear for getting caught was there. More like respect. Maybe even thanks. Komui just smiled at him, and gave a little wave. Kanda grinned a little, and turned away, guiding Lenalee down the hall.

Komui nodded to himself, and turned away. Maybe he was in a competition, but he knew that he wouldn't have any trouble from his competitor. They had a mutual agreement. They could work together to reach their goal.

~ . ~ . ~

Gomenasai

~ . ~ . ~

When was the last time I posted something? Mmmm, a long time ago, lol! But to those of you who haven't given up hope on me, thank you! You'll be happy to know I'm trying to work on a bunch of new stuff, and I will probably be getting back to BlackOut, which most of you are watching me for, I know! But, again, thank you, dudes and dudettes, for watching and faving my stuff even though I wasn't posting! Lol! I hope you like this, I myself am a fan of KandaxLena. I'm a fan of a lot of pairings, actually. XD I might do a sequel to this, I dunno. Tell me how you like it! Critiques welcome, please!!