Notes: Post-Hogwarts
Summary: All Harry wanted was Draco to say I love you, but sometimes it takes a little thing like leaving to accomplish it.
Title: Wanting To Hear You Love Me
Harry sat in his hotel room in muggle London writing in a black leather journal. He had the telly on only paying half of his attention to it. It had been a year since he graduated from Hogwarts and as far he wasn't doing anything with his life. He had decided after defeating Voldemort in his seventh year he didn't want to be an Auror after all and playing professional Quidditch didn't hold any appeal.
After the war many children were left orphans and he started up an organization to help those who had lost their parents. He felt it was the least he could do for these children who were now alone without parents and those few who were left without any family at all.
He was happy for one thing though. He was able to keep his private life just that, private, from the media. They had found out he was gay during his seventh year which had angered him at first because he had wanted to keep it secret, but that didn't happen. He was happy they never found out he had been dating someone in his seventh year, someone who would have shocked the Wizarding World speechless.
He and Draco Malfoy had been dating since January of his seventh year. New Years to be exact was when they had gotten together. They had dated all through the rest of their final year and had continued to date after Hogwarts. Draco had joined the Order in the beginning of seventh year. His father had died in the war and his mother had moved to France after it all to get away from the chaos for awhile. Draco had gone back to the manor and Harry had taken a flat in Diagon Alley.
They continued to date after school and Harry had realized one day, three months ago that he loved the blonde. He loved everything about Draco; his eyes, his hair, his body, his sense of humor. There was just so much he loved about Draco but he didn't know if the blonde loved him back. He thought he did, through looks that his lover gave him but he wasn't completely positive.
Then one day little more than a week ago he found out Draco had had fuck buddies on the side as they were dating. He knew Draco was afraid to give his heart to someone, afraid of surrendering himself like that to him. With fuck buddies he felt like he was still in control and not in danger of giving his heart to Harry. Harry knew this.
With the proof of his cheating Harry had decided he needed to get away for awhile. And packing up his things and from his flat decided to stay in a hotel in muggle London. He felt if Draco really loved him he would try to find him and get him back. It had been hard for the Gryffindor to do; not leaving the magical world but leaving the man he loved. But he wanted Draco to love him and he wanted Draco to know that if he wanted Harry he had to learn that sometimes you had to risk getting hurt and that Harry wasn't going to share him. No two ways about it.
He had been in the hotel a week now when an owl flew through the balcony window which he had left open for this reason since he got there and landed on the bed where he sat. He recognized the eagle owl belonging to Draco and took a deep breath as he untied the letter from its leg. The owl flew to sit on a chair across the room as Harry opened the letter and read it.
Harry,
I don't know how long it will take to get this letter to you but when it does I have a few things I want to say to you. I'm sorry, Harry, because I believe I know why you left. You knew about the other lovers I had on the side while I was dating you. But Harry you have to believe me when I say they meant nothing. Saying this all in a letter isn't as efficient as it would be in person. Please when you get this send me a return letter telling me you'll come to the manor to let me explain. You deserve this explanation in person not on parchment. Please say you'll come Harry, I miss you.
P.S. The wards are still keyed into you so you only have to apparate into the foyer like you always do.
Yours,
Draco
After reading the letter Harry sighed and closed his eyes. He wanted Draco's explanation as well as more. He loved Draco and missed him also. He would go and listen to the blonde's explanation and tell Draco what he wanted to tell him and see how it goes from there.
Tearing a piece of paper from his journal he scribbled down a small note telling Draco he would arrive at the manor tomorrow for dinner at 7:30. Once he was done he attached the parchment to the eagle owl's leg and watched as the bird flew out the balcony window and into the distance as the sun was setting.
Draco sat in his study at Malfoy manor staring morosely into a glass of Firewhiskey. It had been a week since he sent his owl, Zeus, out to find Harry and deliver the letter he had wrote. A little more than a week since Harry had left him and he was a mess. He missed Harry greatly and when he found out he was gone he quickly set out to find him.
He had almost given up hope of ever finding Harry when who should fly into the room but his eagle owl Zeus. The magnificent bird landed on the desk in front of the blonde and stuck out its leg where a piece of paper was attached. Draco quickly took the letter off the bird, which flew out the room to the Malfoy owlery no doubt.
Draco opened the letter and cursed himself silently for his shaky hands. Opening the letter he looked at the familiar handwriting of his lover and read the short message written.
Draco,
I'll come by the manor tomorrow night at 7:30 for dinner. We can talk then.
Harry
Draco read the short letter slightly disappointed Harry didn't end the letter the same way he had but understood that Harry was hurt and most likely angry with him. But the happiness at finally seeing Harry again and that Harry was actually coming to the manor outweighed any disappointment. With a sigh and a last gulp from his glass he got up and decided to go to bed, anticipating tomorrow.
Harry looked into the full length mirror in his hotel room. He had just showered and dressed and was ready to meet Draco. He was wearing snug fitting blue jeans that hugged his muscular legs and tight arse perfectly and a short sleeve black t-shirt. His hair was spiked stylishly and he was wearing a pair of black dragon hide boots that he had gotten from Draco as a present for Christmas last year.
And he was unbearably nervous. He knew tonight could go one of two ways and he was hoping for the happier of the two. With a sigh he gave the mirror one more look and apparated to his destination.
When he reappeared he was in the elaborate foyer of Malfoy Manor which he had seen many times before. But he ignored all that in favor of looking at the blonde who stood in front of him. Draco looked wonderful dressed in form-fitting black linen pants and a long sleeve silk silver button up. Harry thought he looked beautiful, realizing just how much he had missed the man whose shoulder length blonde hair was loose and framing his face just the way Draco knew Harry like it.
"Hello Harry," Draco greeted with a smile at the man in front of him. Harry looked delicious and Draco was having a hard time keeping his hands to himself.
"Draco," Harry greeted back with a small smile and a nod.
"Why don't we have dinner first?" Draco asked and Harry nodded. Draco led Harry to a large balcony off of the dining room where a round table with two chairs was set up with a beautiful display of food on it. The spring breeze blew lightly as the two sat down, Draco pulling out Harry's chair for him before taking his own.
It was a romantic setting, eating dinner for two out on the large balcony under the night sky with the moon glowing brightly down on them. Fairy lights floated in the air above the two men casting a soft glow. Harry found it beautiful but it didn't ease the tension that was between them. They began eating the meal in silence, looking anywhere but at each other. This went of for ten minutes before Draco broke the silence.
"You look really great Harry."
"Thank you Draco, you look great yourself." Harry said and they lapsed back into silence. Another ten minutes when by in silence before Draco broke it again, putting down his fork and looking the black haired man in the eye.
"Harry, I'm really sorry. You have to believe me when I say I am. I haven't slept with anyone else since you left." Draco looked pleadingly at Harry, desperate for him to understand.
Harry sighed and set his fork down also before addressing the blonde. "Draco, do you know how I found out you were shagging others behind my back?" he kept his voice neutral as he asked this. Draco looked uncertain for a moment before shaking his head no. He hadn't thought about how Harry knew just that that must have been why he left.
"I had decided to surprise you after a meeting I had on some fundraiser for the kids who were left alone after the war. I had gotten done some time that afternoon. I had apparated here and walked to your study because I knew you would be there, you always were at that time. Anyway I got to the door which was open and saw you with some bloke bent over the desk. Your back was to the door so you wouldn't have seen me. I stood there for a good whole minute before I decided to leave. You know basically the rest," Harry said and couldn't help the hitch in his voice as he explained.
Draco looked shocked and then ashamed as he looked away from the man across from him. He remembered what day Harry was talking about perfectly. They were going to spend the night together that night like they always did. When Harry didn't show up he had flooed to his flat only to see it empty and he knew at that moment that something was wrong.
"I'm sorry Harry, I know that doesn't make up for it but I'm sorry." Draco said turning to look at Harry again. Harry looked sad but determined at the same time, Draco noticed.
"Sorry doesn't always solve everything Draco," Harry took a deep breath and went on before Draco could say anything. "I love you, you know that? I figured it out a couple months ago. I know you're afraid to love, afraid to give your heart away like that but sometimes you have to take a risk. We've been together almost two years Draco. Two years! I love you and I want to be with you but if you can't love me back…then we should just go out separate ways. I won't share you with others." Harry choked out and hated the bitter taste the words left. But he had to let Draco know that he wasn't going to waste his time if the blonde couldn't love him back.
Draco looked at Harry completely at a lost. He loved him? Harry loved him! This was a shock though not unpleasant. But Draco wasn't sure what to do. Truth was he realized he loved Harry about a year after dating the other man but he was, as Harry stated, afraid to love someone. He was afraid of being vulnerable by opening his heart to Harry, that's why he slept with other people, it didn't seem like he was really in love with the black haired man and that he wasn't surrendering himself to him. But here Harry was saying he loved him and that if Draco couldn't love him back they might as well stop their relationship. Draco didn't want that to happen but he wasn't sure if he could open himself to that.
"Harry," he said after several seconds of silence. "I…I don't want us to break up. I don't want to lose you. This week without you has been horrible," Draco finally managed to say. He looked Harry in the eyes and took a deep breath trying to steel himself to say what he wanted to. Harry was a wonderful person and he didn't want to lose him, not now or ever.
"I…I…I l-love you Harry and I don't want to lose you," he finally choked out cursing himself for his lack of articulation. "I'm sorry for the others I slept with. They meant nothing and…and I want you to move into the manor with me." There, he said it!
Harry looked at the blonde feeling his heart swell with emotion. Draco loved him and he could tell he was sincere about it. His eyes showed it. And he wanted him to move into the manor with him! This was great but he still had to know a few things before he agreed.
"You swear you're not seeing anyone else now?" He asked.
"No, I haven't slept with anyone since I found out you left. I had suspected you found out about me with those other people and that was why you left but I wasn't sure." Draco hastily answered, wanting to know Harry's answer.
Harry thought it over for a few minutes before smiling brightly at Draco. "Of course I'll move in! I love you, you stupid git. Never forget that," Harry whispered the last part and stood from his seat, dinner completely forgotten as he walked around the table.
He pulled the blonde from his chair and into a soft kiss, his arms circling around the waist of the man he loved. Draco's arms went around his shoulders as they kissed softly, lovingly at first. Harry nibbled Draco's bottom lip before flicking his tongue against it, asking for entrance that Draco was all to willing to give as he parted his lips to the invaded tongue. There tongues danced as they deepened the kiss, exploring and remapping the mouths they hadn't tasted in a week.
This was what Draco missed most. None of the other people he had slept with had made him feel like this, like they could make him melt with a single kiss. That was only Harry who could do that, Harry the man he loved with all his heart.
There kiss slowly ended and they looked into each others eyes with desire and love.
"Bopsy!" Draco called not taking his eyes off Harry as the elf popped out.
"Master Draco calls?" the elf squeaked.
"Yes, clear off the balcony and do not disturb me for the rest of the night." Draco said and pulled Harry inside. Harry stopped Draco briefly, pulling him back against his chest planting a kiss against the back of his neck. Draco shivered slightly as those soft lips brushed against his neck before pulling away and the two hurried to Draco's room where the door was shut behind them.
Draco was pressed against the door and Harry pressed the length of his body to the blonde's and kissed him again, passion and lust and love and so many other emotions poured into the kiss. Harry's hand unbuttoned Draco's shirt dropping it to the floor as he kissed down the blonde's jaw to suck and lick and bite gently at his throat. He heard Draco moan loudly as he sucked on a particular spot that Harry drove Draco insane.
His hands danced over the exposed pale skin as he kissed those soft lips again. Harry removed some of his weight from Draco and looked into eyes darkened with desire. Draco tugged on Harry's shirt until it came off and attached his lips to a dusky nipple, sucking it before biting down on it gently. Harry groaned lightly as Draco bit down on his nipple.
They made it to the bed after stripping each other, Draco lying on his back with Harry at the foot of the bed between his legs. Looking up at the blonde Harry locked eyes with him as he swirled his tongue around the head of Draco's cock slowly. Draco inhaled sharply as he looked into those green eyes darkened with lust and desire. The raven haired man licked torturously slowly up the vein on the underside of Draco's cock, tonguing the slit when he reached the head.
Draco moaned lowly, having missed the feel of Harry's tongue on him, his skin against him. Harry smirked as he looked at Draco once more before engulfing Draco's hard cock in his mouth.
"Oh gods Harry," Draco cried out as he felt the wet heat surround him, tangling his hands in the black hair. Harry worked him expertly, bobbing his head up and down, swirling his tongue around the engorged head and scraping his teeth lightly against the vein on the underside of his cock. Harry continued until Draco was close before pulling off him with a slurping 'Pop'. Draco looked at Harry painfully arouse and puzzled as to why he stopped.
"I want to be inside you when you come," Harry stated in a husky rasp. Draco nodded and scrambled to grab the tube of lubricant he kept in his bedside table. The blonde tossed it to Harry who got up on the bed. Draco laid back and spread his pale milky legs as Harry dribbled some of the lubricant onto his fingers. Setting the tube aside Harry kneeled in front of the blonde, one hand caressing Draco's thigh, Harry's lips kissing the other as he circled a finger around Draco's entrance.
Draco was breathing heavily, panting as Harry slipped one finger inside of his lover. He continued to kiss the pale thigh as he slid his finger in and out of Draco slowly, almost lazily. Adding a second finger Harry began nipping at the pale skin presented to him, sucking lightly as well.
When Harry hit that spot inside of Draco, the blonde yelled out, "HARRY!" Harry smiled against the hip he had moved on to as he heard the blonde. He quickly finished preparing Draco and himself.
Hovering over the writhing blonde Harry looked Draco in the eyes as he slid agonizingly slowly into the tight heat of the man he loved. He moaned loudly at the feel of Draco squeezing him, having missed it so much. When he was buried ball's deep in the blond he leaned down to the man under him until he was at his ear. Licking the shell lazily the black haired man nipped at the lobe before he spoke.
"You're mine Draco Malfoy, and don't you ever forget it!" he whispered into the pale ear. Draco felt Harry's warm breath caress his skin and shivered and moaned at the action. Harry pulled out of Draco almost all the way before slamming back into him, both crying out at the feeling. Harry set a slow rhythm at first, Draco meeting him thrust for thrust, their moans and whimpers filling the room.
"Harder Harry, please, faster," Draco breathed out and cried out when Harry hit his prostate. Harry sped up his pace, slamming into the willing body of his lover who had his legs wrapped around his waist and one hand squeezing his arse cheek, the other clutching at his black haired love's back. Harry had his hands on Draco's hips as he sucked on the red spot he had made earlier.
Removing one of his hands from the blonde's hip he grasped the hard erection and began jerking his hand up and down, pulling Draco closer and closer to the edge. Draco moaned and whimpered under the multiple assault of Harry in him, touching his cock and sucking and biting his neck. He was lost in a haze of lust and desire and love for this man who he had almost lost due to his own foolishness.
Draco then tensed under Harry as he crashed into that oblivion, over the edge and came – hard. He came screaming Harry's name, shooting his cum over the others hand and both their stomachs. Harry thrust into the blonde a few more times before he came also, filling his lover whose inner muscles tighten around him as he reached his release. Harry collapsed on top of Draco both breathing heavily as they tried to regain their ability to breathe normally.
When Harry finally regained his breath he pulled out of Draco and cast a quick cleaning charm before lying beside him and pulling the other man close. They sat in silence for a few moments.
"I love you Draco, I've missed you so much this last week. I was sure…" Harry trailed off looking away from the curious stormy grey eyes.
"You were sure I didn't love you?" Draco said though it sounded more like he was stating it than asking. Harry nodded his head a little. "I do love you Harry, I was just afraid to say it. I'm sorry for everything that had to happen for me to realize it."
"Its in the past now, we love each other that all that matters." The green eyed man said looking lovingly at his lover.
"Yeah, I guess it is. I'm going to being making it up to you for awhile though, aren't I?" Draco asked with a smirk on his face.
"You bet your fine pale arse you are!" Harry said and they laughed together. It felt good to laugh with his lover again.
"So where were you staying anyway?"
"Hotel in muggle London, I had wanted to get away for awhile."
"Well we'll have to go there tomorrow so we can move your things here. Since your moving in," Draco said and smiled at Harry happily.
Harry nodded and yawned, "Let's go to sleep, love. We'll worry about everything else tomorrow," Harry said and Draco nodded and snuggled up next to him. Harry sighed, content that he had Draco and Draco loved him. And with this knowledge he went to sleep, a smile on his face.
This was a One-shot but I might do a companion piece to this. I'm not sure if I will yet but I might!
DemonRogue