1999 – Second Grade.
Erin Lindsay sat at her desk in the classroom for second grade at Chicago Elementary. She was always here early. Her social worker would drop her off at 8am every morning, even though school didn't start until 9:30. Erin didn't mind though; it meant she got out of the group home and got to chill out by herself. She liked being by herself.
It was now 9:20am and the classroom had filled up fast; kids being dropped off by their parents with a kiss on the cheek and being told to "have a good first day". Erin envied that.
She had been in foster care since she was born eight years ago; her mother left her in the hospital battling addiction because she hadn't been able to stay sober for the 8 months she carried Erin.
"Mom, I need my pencil! I can't start school without it." Erin's attention turned to a boy and his mother who sat four tables down from her. He was visibly upset, Erin presumed about his pen, and his mother was rubbing his back and she was knelt down next to him.
"Jay, I promise we'll remember it tomorrow. It's just a pencil sweetie, the teacher will have extra to give out."
The little boy nodded sadly and his mother kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear before leaving the room. Erin stared down at the three pencils she had sitting on her desk, looking back at the boy. She didn't like talking to people in her classes; they always wanted to hang out after school and she wasn't allowed to do that. Not trying to make friends was the easier option.
Erin kept staring at the boy, it had been a while since his mother had left and he still looked upset. She took a deep breath, grabbing a pencil and walking over to him.
"Um, hi." She said softly.
The boy turned to face her and his sad face softened "Hi."
Erin held out the pencil, not sure what to say "Here you go."
Jay looked down surprised, slowly taking the pencil from her "oh, thank you." He smiled at her "I'm Jay."
"I'm Erin." She gave him a small smile before turning back and walking to her seat, Jay watching her as she went.
The first day of second grade had gone well so far. Erin was well prepared for class, having studied the week before with her social worker Maggie. They were now having recess and the teacher had let them play outside in the courtyard joined to the classroom. Erin sat alone, her plastic-wrapped tuna sandwich in her hands; Maggie always packed her lunch when she was in-between foster parents. The other kids had stared at her all day, whispering things to each other and pointing at her.
Erin knew she was different than them; she was attending this school because of a program that the Chicago government had organised between the adoption agencies and the school departments to ensure that kids were still receiving education while awaiting adoption.
Her clothes were hand-me-downs from a kid who had been adopted out from her group home. There were holes in the legs of her denim overalls and her pink short-sleeve top underneath was fraying at the sleeves. She wasn't dressed as nicely as the other children, but she didn't care. She was one of the luckier ones.
Erin was pulled out of her thoughts when a few kids cautiously walked up to her, standing in a circle around her as they stared down.
"What?" Erin asked as they stood there silently.
"Why are you dressed like that?" A blonde boy asked.
Erin shrugged, looking down at her tattered shoes "Because these are my clothes." She answered simply, fidgeting with her two-day-old plaited pigtails.
"You look weird." Another girl says, and the group starts nodding.
"Yeah, I don't think you should be here." Someone else said, and Erin felt tears fill her eyes as she kept looking down.
"Hey! Leave her alone." Erin looked up and the group of kids turned to the person standing behind them. Jay.
"We're just asking her questions." The blonde boy speaks.
"You're being mean. That's not okay, Erin's a nice girl." Jay says.
Jay stares the boy down until he cowers "Whatever." He mumbles walking off, the other children following after him.
"Thank you." Erin says softly.
Jay shrugs "They shouldn't be mean to you. You should sit with your friends tomorrow, so they won't bother you anymore."
Erin gives a half-hearted smile "I don't have any friends."
Jay walks towards her and puts his hand on her shoulder "Yes you do. Me."
Emma Halstead stepped out of her Audi Q4, completely frazzled and a mess. She could see the other mothers judging her; heir prim and colour-coordinated outfits with thin stiletto heels a far cry from her faded jeans and white shirt-sleeve top paired with adidas. She had been running around trying to get her eldest son, Will, prepared for his first sleep-away camp which consisted of her running into every department store trying to find every item listed on the school's insanely detailed list.
She rushed into the second grade courtyard, seeing her son sitting with a little girl. She took a deep breath and walked up to the teacher standing with who she presumed was the other girl's mother.
"I'm so sorry I'm late! I got stuck in traffic and-"
The teacher smiled "Not to worry Emma, Jay's been wonderful at keeping Erin company."
Emma's eyes turned to her son, who was currently thumb-wrestling with his classmate, before turning back to the two women.
"Oh I'm so sorry, you must be her mother?" Emma asked gesturing to Erin and putting her hand out to shake the other woman.
The woman took her hand to shake "I'm Maggie, I'm actually Erin's social worker. Her foster parents haven't shown up to collect her, unfortunately. Miss Barker called me."
"I'm sorry, that's terrible." Emma says looking at Jay who waves at her.
Emma waves back and Jay comes running over, hugging his mother's leg "Momma, can Erin come over to play?"
Emma looks nervously between her son and Maggie "Uh, let me talk to this nice lady for a minute and I'll let you know, okay bub?"
"Okay!" Jay cheered running back to Erin.
Emma looks back up at the two ladies "I can take her for a couple of hours if you'd like? My husband is a doctor at Chicago Med, and I'm a registered foster carer. I can take her off your hands for a few hours."
"I don't know, she's not good with strangers…" Maggie says unsurely.
"She and Jay seem to be getting along, I know how to look after kids like her. It's just for a few hours; it's better than her sitting in the offices at DCFS."
"You make a good point." Maggie sighs "Okay, I'll pick her up at 6 tonight. I'll drive her over to your place, explain everything that's going on before I go back to work."
"Sounds good to me." Emma smiles calling out "come on kids, playdate's on!"
…
Maggie had left Emma at the Halstead house two hours ago. It was an unconventional idea, but it was a better option that Maggie taking Erin around with her for the rest of the day. She knew Erin would need distractions throughout the day and she was hoping Emma and Jay would be able to provide that.
Erin and Jay were upstairs in Jay's room; they had been playing with his Legos, building themselves 'Lindsay-Halstead town', and were now laying against the pillows on Jay's bed as they watched Mulan and ate the fruit salad that Emma had brought up for them.
"Your mommy's nice." Erin says suddenly.
"She's the best." Jay smiles "What's your mommy like?"
Erin shrugs in reply, mumbling "I don't have a mommy."
"Everyone has a mommy." Jay frowns.
"Maggie said that my mommy and daddy weren't good people, so they gave me to her so she could find good people to be my parents." Erin explains, remembering what Maggie told her a few years ago "We haven't found any parents that want to keep me yet."
"Maybe my mom can help! She looks after little kids who don't have their parents sometimes. Maybe she can help Maggie find you a new mommy and daddy."
"I don't know." Erin says softly, lip trembling "I'm scared, Jay. What if no one wants me ever?"
Jay turns to his side and wraps Erin in the biggest hug he can. Erin hugs him back, trying her hardest not to cry.
"I'll look after you Erin, that's what best friends do!" Jay says, like it's the simplest thing in the world.
Erin pulls back and gives Jay a small smile "Okay."
They return their attention to the movie again, Jay glancing at Erin every few minutes. She keeps sniffling her nose, and Jay recognizes the action from his mother; she does it when his Dad makes her sad. He can remember walking into the kitchen to ask him mother for something, and the way she wipes her tears away from her face and sniffles when she smiles at him. He remembers after that, when his Dad came back home at dinnertime with flowers in one hand and gave his Mom a kiss. She smiled and they would all sit down to dinner like nothing had ever happened.
"Erin?" Jay asks quietly "Can I kiss you?"
Erin looks over at him confused "Why?"
Jay looks down at the fruit salad bowl between them, suddenly growing nervous "My Dad kisses my Momma when she's sad, and she always smiles after. I want to make you smile."
Erin thinks about his words, the reasoning he gives her. It seems logical to her so she nods "Okay."
Jay leans forward and places a quick kiss on her lips, Erin's cheeks growing bright red at his actions. They can both feel a tickle in their stomach as they stare at each other, unsure of what to do.
"So," Jay says "Does that make you smile?"
Erin gives Jay a big smile and nods "Yes." She answers giving Jay a kiss on the cheek.
Jay looks at her surprised "What was that for?"
Erin looks back at the TV as she answers, "Because I wanted to make you smile."
Later that night, Jay and Emma sit at the dinner table. Erin had left an hour ago, and Jay's father had gone taken his older brother Will out for dinner, leaving Emma and Jay on their own for the night.
"Momma? I got a question." Jay asks.
Emma smiles "I've got an answer. What do you want to know?"
"Why can't Erin live with us?"
Emma sighs "Oh bub, it doesn't work like that. Your Dad and I would have to be willing to adopt her, and it can take years for that to happen … Besides. It's busy enough with the two rugrats we have," She ruffles Jay's hair and he giggles "Erin needs stability, and people who can focus on her and help her grow into a lovely young woman. I don't think your Dad and I can provide that. Does that make sense?""
"… Yeah. I just wish we could help her." Jay says sadly.
"We can; I told Maggie that Erin can come here as often as she needs to, and I'll make sure she's happy and well-fed and getting all her school work done, just like I do with you."
"I got another question."
"Fire away." Emma chuckles, taking a sip of her water.
"What is a crush?" Jay asks.
Emma's eyes grow wide "Where did you hear that?"
"I was telling Daddy about Erin, and Will said that I have a crush on Erin. But I don't want to crush Erin, that would hurt her."
"It's not like that Jay. A crush is a feeling you have for someone; it's kind of like love." Emma explains.
Jay frowns "Do you have a crush on Daddy."
Emma smiles sadly "I did, when I first met your Dad. I thought he was very cute, and sweet. He was so nice to me, and he helped me a lot. And after a while, my crush turned into love."
"But Daddy's not nice now." Jay says "Do you still love him?"
"… People aren't perfect Jay. It's a hard thing to understand right now, because you're so young. But nice people make mistakes, and it's up to us to choose whether or not to forgive them. And I forgive your father, because I know he's a good man."
Emma reaches forward and cups Jay's cheek "Now, about this whole crush business. Do you think you have a crush on Erin?"
Jay shrugs looking down at his hands "I don't know. Maybe? I think she's pretty."
"It's not a bad thing if you do, and if you're not sure that's fine too. You don't have to figure it out now, you can wait."
"Really?" Jay asks surprised.
"Of course, sweetheart. Feelings sometimes take a long time to form, you may not know for sure right now. Time will tell, so for now you can just enjoy hanging out with your friend."
"I think I'll be unsure then." Jay says triumphantly.
Emma chuckles "Okay then. Want to help me do the dishes? And then we'll go get ice cream."
"Ice cream!" Jay cheers, racing off to the kitchen to get up on his stool so he could help his mother dry the dishes next to her at the sink. Emma follows after him with the dishes, smiling as she saw him. Her little boy was growing up fast.
And she had a feeling Erin Lindsay was someone that would be in their lives for a long time.
A/N: Hey everyone! We are so excited for you to see this story; can't wait to see what you all think of it :)
We will be updating our other story as well, so be on the lookout!
Laura and Maddie x