Hello everyone.
A little one-shot that was running through my mind (this version is way softer than what I had imagined, but the first version was really…far-fetched)
References to episode 4.4
T-rating for some swearing.
The mission had been quite rough on them.
Connor, Becker and Matt had decided to go check an anomaly by themselves, without backup, despite Jess's pleading.
Apparently, the girl had a sixth sense: as soon as they had entered the place, they had seen an entire army of velociraptors, just waiting for them to have dinner. The situation was so alike the one at McKinnon School.
Nevertheless, they had been able to back them to the anomaly, killing one in the process, then sealed it.
They were sure to have an earful from Lester. Oh boy they were wrong.
As soon as they stepped out of the lift, Jess was pounding on them, probing them not unlike a mother searching any trace of injury on her sons. Once satisfied, she slapped them.
Jess. Slapped. Them.
Alright, what kind of alternate reality had they landed in?
"Could you guys be such morons?" the brunette shouted, for all the ARC to hear. "I told you to wait for backup, but no, of course no, you had to go and play superheroes, without any care in the world about what could happen to you!"
By then she was pacing furiously in front of the ADD.
"Damnit, how am I supposed to help you if you don't listen to one fucking word I'm saying?"
People were gathering around the scene, not to close, fearing Jess's wrath. Jess, calm Jess, unflappable Jess, was currently pacing and swearing like a madwoman in the middle of the room, tongue-lashing three of the people the most qualified to go on field. Even the latter ones were terrified.
"I warned you but no, even if I see creatures, you have to go, like a need to see everyone around you biting their nails to the flesh worrying over you! You don't care about the consequences, the others have to face them! You bastards, you don't even know what's like to be on the other side just watching you going into a trap without a care in the world!"
"Jess-"
"Don't you dare, Connor Temple! You're as much to blame as the other two imbeciles right beside you!"
Said imbeciles didn't understand Jess's exaggerated reaction. It was not the first time they had faced danger, and never once the FC had said anything about it. Showing worry, of course, but never scolding them as if they had committed major crime.
"And you!" she turned to Matt. "You're supposed to be the boss! You're supposed to know the danger! You're supposed to be mature enough to know when to call for backup! What went through your damn head this time?"
"And you!" she jammed a finger into Becker's chest at each appellation, causing Becker to step backwards. "You Mr. 'I'm so strong I don't need anyone', Mr. 'I can handle every situation by myself', Mr. 'I don't care if I die 'cause so many have before me', Mr. 'I'm so much of a superhero that I can take all the risks', what the hell were you planning, collective suicide?"
"Jessica Parker!"
As much as he found amusing the three mavericks being scolded by the young woman, Lester could not let the situation go on any longer. Jess turned her head up to face him, then took her jacket and stomped away.
"I'm out of here."
"Wait!" Becker tried to catch her arm, but she released herself quite forcefully.
"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me" she seethed.
All let her go, trudging her way out.
What. The. Hell. Had. Just. Happened?
After a few minutes of heavy silence, Lester asked.
"Does someone in here have a half decent brain to explain what just happened with Miss Parker?"
The onlookers scattered about, leaving Connor, Becker and Matt to answer.
"No idea, sir" Matt replied. "We were going to the anomaly and Jess asked for us to take backup. There was no sign of incursion, so I didn't deem it necessary. Considering it was a heavily populated area, I thought that discretion was preferable. Unfortunately, there had been an incursion, but we took care of it, sealed the anomaly and went back here. And then Jess…"
"Totally blew a fuse on us?"
"Connor!" Matt chastised him.
"What? It's true! As soon as we arrived she totally lost it! We've never seen Jess acting like that before, and it's not the first time such a situation arises!"
"Even though, I doubt we can begrudge her for that. We should have asked for backup, not knowing the situation."
"But that's not only that! I never, ever saw Jess reacting like that, and I live with her!"
"Becker?" Lester asked the captain, seeing he had been silent the whole conversation.
"I have no idea, sir. Jess is usually less demonstrative when it comes to panicking the way she just has."
"Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel's back?" the computer geek tried to guess.
"Hum" Lester was doubtful. "Is there a way to know where she headed right after your… confrontation?"
Connor took place at the ADD.
"Well, she hasn't taken a black box, and her car doesn't have a GPS track…"
"Her cell?"
"Switched off. She knew what she was doing. She's going somewhere and she doesn't want us to know where."
"Then we better let her blow her steam off" concluded the civil servant.
"But, sir-"
"Captain, as worried you are about Miss Parker, I'm sure she can handle it by herself. She just handled three grown armed men in less than ten minutes. Moreover, it should give you a taste of your own medicine."
"Yes, sir."
"Alright, now the situation is taken care of, I have a call on hold with the Secretary. Try not to get reprimanded by a scary girl ten years younger than you in the meantime" Lester chided them, walking back into his office.
Becker turned to Connor.
"You can follow her by CCTV right?"
"Becker, as much as I hate to admit it – and I'll deny it if you tell anyone about it – Lester's right. Jess was pretty much furious and she needs some time alone to sort it out. Hell, did you see how she told you off when you tried to stop her?"
"That doesn't-"
"Let it go, mate" Matt intervened. "If we don't hear from her by tomorrow, we'll go and search her. But Jess is responsible, she won't do anything rash out there."
"She just did" countered the soldier.
"In here, not out there. Let her sort it out. And I promise, if by tomorrow she hasn't come back, we'll find her."
Becker sighed.
Jess was driving, boiling. She knew she shouldn't have taken the wheel, but she really needed to get out of there, and the sooner the better. Moreover, driving had always calmed her down.
How could they? Taking so many risks like that, then coming back with a smile as if nothing had happened, without even one second thinking about the worry people about them could experience about them?
A part of her brain was warning her she had overreacted. But it was always the same scenario. Being calm and collected during a mission, that she could do, but there was an extent to what she could take.
And those idiots, they had dared to seem surprised when she had burst.
Morons.
Dummies.
Stupid faces.
She was angry at them, but most of all angry at herself, not to have been able to hold it in. She was supposed to take this with calm, which was her first quality as FC, but back there, she had found she couldn't.
She hoped they wouldn't try and find her, or she would give them another piece of her mind.
She finally came to a stop, and looked around her.
Oh.
Angry driving was apparently not her best, considering it led her here.
Here, a tiny 24/7 grocery store, quite well located, but without much around it.
Here, where she had lost her brother.
"Erwann, don't tell me you finished all the milk already?"
"Aw, sorry, sis, I totally forgot!"
"Well, you go and buy it now, I've got cooking to make. Wait? Did you forget to buy flour too?"
"Erm…"
"I can believe it, must I do everything by myself?" the younger sibling scolded playfully.
As soon as the brother decided to enter the police academy, his little sister had all but begged to follow him to London. Even though he was supposed to be the oldest one, she was the one always thinking about the necessities, like paying bills or, like this instant, groceries. Erwann didn't seem to be able to live by himself. She always joked that she had to train him now, or no wife would like to behave like a woman from the twenties, having everything to do by herself while the husband was away working. We were in the twenty-first century for God's sake!
"Aw, Princess, you'd miss chiding me if I was doing everything right" replied the student.
"Missing it or not, take a coat, we're going now."
"Come on, I have to study tonight" tried to reason the elder.
"Nuh-uh" she shook her head. "I want you to learn this time how to go grocery shopping properly. You're going with me."
Grumbling, the future police officer complied.
They went into that 24/7 little shop not far from their apartment, Jess taking pity on her brother not to lead him into one of those hypermarkets where you can easily lose yourself.
They were choosing items, fighting for some, Erwann obviously not understanding the difference between "needing" and "wanting", when gunshots were heard.
"Everyone face down on the floor! No one moves!" shouted the shooter.
From where they were, the siblings could easily make out the scene. A hooded man, having a gun, was surveying the crowd while another one was taking money from the cash register.
"I'm going closer" whispered the elder, making a move forward.
"No! There's a camera, and people around to witness it! They'll be arrested soon enough! And they're armed, you're not!"
"I can handle it! They're obviously newbies at that, I can stop them."
"No, don't-"
But it was too late. The brunette young man was already moving towards the robbers, expertly.
"I said no one moves! And stop crying!" the same robber shouted to a customer.
Suddenly, police sirens could be heard.
"Damnit! They weren't supposed to act this soon! You warned them, didn't you?" the robber the closest to the cashier grabbed him by his collar.
Sensing the situation becoming worse, Erwann leaped from his hiding place, trying to push the cashier out of harm's way.
But took the bullet meant for him.
The police acted quite quickly, and Jess ran towards her brother.
"No!"
"Sorry sis" he tried to joke with difficulty. "I really am not good at doing shopping."
"Just shut up, an ambulance's on its way" she tried to keep him from talking, seeing already the pool of blood under him. She tried to make pressure with her hands, but the flow didn't stop.
"You know, someone will be very lucky to have you by his side one day. Sorry not to be there to beat his ass up like every older brother."
"Shut up! You'll make it, I promise!"
He took one of her hands that were trying to stop the blood.
"Sis, look at me. You know I won't make it."
"No, you will! I won't let you go!"
"Princess, you have to remember you're the best sis in this world, and that anyone getting our attention is damn lucky to have made it so far. You're a wonderful girl, and I'm sure you'll find someone someday that'll make you understand it…"
"Stop talking as if you're dying!"
"I love you, Princess."
"I love you too" she whispered, before he closed his eyes, his head rolling on the side.
By then all the sounds around her became fuzzy, as if she was in her little bubble, away from all the agitation around her. She barely registered an officer talking to her, and medics taking her brother away.
He was gone.
It had been three years today. The very anniversary of his death.
She remembered not to have cried that day, too numb to really understand what was going on around her. She swore to herself she wouldn't let anyone playing hero around her anymore. How ironical. She was surrounded by men playing superhero every day of every year, on the verge of not making it each time they are going on missions.
She now understood why she had lost it when they had come back. She saw everything from her computer, they had been so close of not coming back, ever. Because they hadn't wanted to wait for backup. Her brother, though not a real officer yet, had not wanted to wait for backup either. They were all so close on so many levels.
There in her car, she considered everything, the past, the present. And she cried.
She cried for not having been able to deter her brother from going that day, and for not having cried at his death. She cried for not being able to impose her ideas to the men on the field, and for not being able not to be totally and utterly terrorized when she was seeing them facing danger. She cried for all the times they were so close, and for all the times she deemed she hadn't been quick enough to get them out of harm's way.
A hero left her and she ran into superheroes' arms. She must be crazy. She now had to deal with their everyday dance with Death and to be able to hold in it together enough so that she could be as efficient as they needed her to be.
She was doomed. But she wouldn't leave them for all the tea in China.
For her brother's sake.
Marcus Tullius Cicero: 'The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.'
That was so fast, so bad written and so cliché. But it was going through my mind and I had to write it.