Love it or Leave it
"God, John, what is this awful music?"
John laughed.
"It's meant to be awful; it's the Love it or Leave it piece on Classic FM. Every Thursday they play a famous piece of music that's been changed by someone. Probably a bored person."
"It's awful."
"I told you, that's the point."
They listened as synthetic drums were added to Bach's famous work.
"Moriarty would die."
John laughed again, and then stopped and looked at Sherlock. He stopped and looked back, a weird glint in his eye. He chuckled, his deep baritone spreading throughout the room as he flew past John, stealing his laptop on the way.
"Excellent."
"Sorry, boys; I'm so changeable!"
John's heart stopped, stuttered, restarted as Moriarty re-entered the pool and dozens of red dots appeared on his and Sherlock's bodies. Sherlock looked at him, eyes questioning, and John could only nod.
"Probably my answer has crossed yours," he uttered, levelling the gun at his adversary. Then, suddenly, Sherlock reached into his pocket, drew out his phone and pressed three buttons. For a second, nothing happened and Moriarty looked unimpressed, but then the sound of string instruments filled the pool, reverberating eerily off the walls. It was the same music John had been playing the other week. Moriarty tilted his head curiously, and then smirked.
"Wait for it," Sherlock promised.
And then the drumbeat started.
Moriarty's eyes widened.
"What is this?" he shouted. "Who dares to change, to mutilate Bach in such a way?! No!"
He fell to his knees, clutching his head. John frowned in confusion, staring at Moriarty.
"He really likes classical music," he muttered. Sherlock just laughed, and then typed in a number.
"Hello, brother dear. Yes, I know, but we've got a deranged psychopath on his knees at the pool and were wondering if you could possibly take the time out of your busy schedule to come pick him up," he said and hung up without a goodbye.
John stood up on trembling legs and they both looked at Moriarty, still clawing at his head.
"Can we just walk away now?"
"I suppose. Dinner?"
"Starving. Angelo's?"
"Chinese. After you."
"Cheers."
And so they left, leaving Sherlock's phone where it was, on repeat and torturing the insane man with terrible music.
A/N:
Howdy.
(no, that's stupid)
G'day is more fitting.
I just need to clarify something with this story. I'm an Aussie, so the radio station I mentioned is from Australian radio. I know they're English, but the opportunity was just too good to pass up.
I didn't have a specific piece in mind, but you'll probably be able to search 'Love it or Leave it' up on the internet and find some horrible mutilation of classical musical. There's all sorts of stuff out there, to be honest. I don't know if there is a Bach piece with a bad synthetic drumbeat, but it's probable.
This is the first of a series of completely unconnected, rather stupid drabbles that have never even seen a definition of 'meaning'. Really, it's true.
Also, I am so boooorreeddd... Entertain me, internet!
Cheers,
foxboxtango
Disclaimer: Nup.