Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire

'The weather's dreadful,' said Narcissa with a bored tone in her voice, and eyed the rain clad windows while cradling a glass of wine between her fingers.

Severus looked up at her through a curtain of black hair. 'It is,' he responded, suppressing a sneer.

Small talk had always made him feel uncomfortable, and was annoyed that Narcissa was persistent on having one anyway.

Narcissa's blue eyes tore away from the window and found Severus's black ones. Severus arched his back, trying to sit up a little straighter.

'Are you not going to drink your wine?' she asked. Severus realised that both his hands were wrapped rather tightly around his glass. 'I'm not thirsty,' he muttered while placing the glass back on the table.

Of course, Narcissa didn't know the true reason for Severus's aversion to drinking. His father had been an alcoholic. Leaving bruises on his fragile body in the same colours as the alcohol that caused it. He looked down at the purple-blue wine gently swaying in his glass. He felt repulsed.

'You seem tense, Severus,' said Narcissa while taking a meagre sip from her own wine. Severus wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. Normally he was very well reserved, with his back straightened and his occlumency shield up high.

Today however, he was having trouble focusing. After a moment of contemplation he said, 'excuse me Narcissa, I need some fresh air'. Narcissa nodded and Severus left the table, opened the sliding door that let to the balcony and closed the door behind him. Above him hung a stained glass canopy, magnifying the sound of the pouring rain that was scattering around him.

He rummaged in the pockets of his robes and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. The carton already half empty. He took a cigarette from the pack and balanced it between his lips. With a snap of his fingers he lit it, inhaled deeply, and felt the nicotine flowing through his veins, calming his senses.

He leaned against the stone ledge, dumping ash into the ashtray beside him. He closed his eyes, listening intensely to the amplified sound of the rain above him.

... ... ...

'We're nearly there Sev!' said Lily enthusiastically. 'Finally!' he panted back. They had been running away from the feast in the great hall and up the many flights of staircases that let to the top of the Astronomy Tower. As soon as they had reached the top Lily let go of his arm. He wished she hadn't.

Dark clouds were swallowing up the night sky. The tension in the air was prominent. There was a distant rumbling of thunder and the scent of rain that would soon start to fall was lingering in the still air.

It felt like magic. Old magic.

The two friends sat down next to each other on the floor near the ledge of the tower. 'I brought something with me,' said Lily with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Severus turned to answer her gaze. 'It is cigarettes?' he asked desirously. 'You got that right,' she said as she pulled a brand new pack from her robes. 'I stole them from Vernon shortly before we went back to school'. She said the name Vernon with as much loathing on her face as she did when dissecting a particularly slimy Flobberworm for potions. 'He shouldn't complain though. Tuney hates it when he smokes'.

'You're always so daring Lily,' said Severus. 'That would be my stupid Gryffindorian recklessness, remember?' she replied teasingly. All Severus could do was grin. He did call it that whenever she did something reckless.

She fumbled with the pack and pulled out two cigarettes. 'I learned a new trick,' she said. 'Watch me.' She pressed her middle finger and thumb in front of the cigarette that she held between her lips. With a loud snap of her fingers, a spark ignited the tip of her cigarette. 'Pretty cool don't you think?' she said as she released smoke from her lungs.

Severus had looked at her in awe. It reminded him of the first time he saw her at the playground. Giving life to a flower through a spark of energy. Now she had done it again. Only this time the energy came in the form of fire.

'Can you teach me?'

'Of course.'

Severus placed the cigarette between his lips. Lily held her own cigarette in one hand and instructed with the other. 'Now what you need to do, is focus intensely on where you want to aim your energy. So, instead of just aiming for the tip of the cigarette, rather aim for that tiny strand of tobacco that's sticking out at the end.' Severus nodded in understanding. Lily took Severus's left hand into her right, placing middle finger and thumb together.

'Try snapping it like I did.'

No sound came out.

'Try again.'

No sound again.

She felt his fingers. 'You can't do it when your hands are all clammy,' she said as she gently rubbed his fingers in her hand to make them dry. Severus let his hair cover his eyes, obscuring the blush that had appeared on his face.

'Try again.'

After several more attempts he managed to produce a sound. A small spark ignited between his fingers.

'You nearly got it,' said Lily happily. She laid down on her back beside him, enjoying her cigarette. Just as Severus gave another attempt to snap with his fingers, thunder and rain rolled in like an ancient war drum. Severus jumped at the unexpected cacophony, and let out an involuntary gasp.

Lily laughed in delight. 'You're not going to tell me you're afraid of thunder now are you?' she said while gently nudging him in the ribs with her elbow.

'I'm not afraid,' he said irritably. 'Then prove it!' she said while raising her eyebrows in a teasingly manner. 'Or are you a coward, Severus?'

'I'm not a coward!' he scowled back. His face looked livid. Lily did not seem to be bothered by his sudden burst of outrage. 'Then prove it,' she said again.

'Fine!' Severus got up, tossed his cigarette and his cloak aside, and walked up towards the ledge. He clasped both his hands around the narrow copper beam. He looked down. The rain masked the intense depths of the grounds, hundreds of feet below. An intense desire had started to burn inside of him to prove that he was not a coward. He glanced back at Lily who had sat back up with a snap, staring at him intently.

He clasped one hand around the beam that held up the roof, and he set his left foot on the ledge. 'Noooo Sev!' Lily yelled, but Severus didn't listen. He placed his right foot beside the other. His hand let go of the beam, and there he stood perfectly balanced. Between danger and safety. Between life and death. The rain pouring onto his face.

Lily approached him carefully. He had his arms outstretched for balance, gently swaying in the upturning wind. His eyes were staring miles into the black abyss. Lightning was jumping from cloud to cloud, lighting up his face. It was a terrifyingly impressive sight to behold.

'Could you please step away from the ledge Sev,' Lily whispered.

'Please don't do this to me,' her soft voice turning into a plea.

'Please come down, Sev'.

'Sev…'

'Severus, please come down!' her voice now shaking with anger and fear.

Severus slowly turned his face and locked his black eyes into her red-rimmed green.

'Why are you afraid, Lily?'

Lily took a moment, unsure of what to say.

'Because I love you, Sev,' she said with a trembling voice. She lifted her hand to wipe away a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. Severus's unreadable face had turned into a look of surprise. Her words had thrown him off-guard entirely.

'Lily…'

'Severus…please.'

He crouched down and touched the floor gently with his feet. He held out his arms and Lily locked into his embrace, her head resting on his shoulder. Dry sobs muffled by the fabric of his robes. 'Why did you have to do that Sev?'

'Because I'm not a coward.'

'No of course you're not you blithering idiot! Do you really think I'd give a damn how daring you are? You could have fallen down Sev…you could have died!'

'I'm sorry Lily,' he whispered into her ear.

'I'm sorry,' he said again, his head hanging low. 'Do you want to go down to the feast perhaps?'

'No I don't. We always come here together on Hallowe'en. I just want to be with you.'

'Do you want to sit down?'

'Yes,' she said with a shiver.

'Are you cold?'

Lily nodded. The hurt in her eyes still hadn't fully subsided.

'Please, sit down,' he said with a gesture to the floor.

He placed a quick drying charm on himself and a warming charm on the cloak that he had left on the floor. What he did next was something that took a lot more courage than standing on the ledge had done for him. He sat down behind her, with his legs spread out so she could sit between them. He wrapped the warm cloak gently around them both and he felt her relax against his shoulder. He found her cold hands underneath the cloak and held them tightly in his own.

'Did you mean it?' Severus asked after a moment.

'Mean what?' Lily said while she nuzzled up closer against his shoulder. It took a moment for Severus to recollect his courage.

'When you said that you loved me.'

'Of course I do Sev, you are my best friend.'

'I – I love you too Lily.'

'I cannot imagine a life without you Sev.'

Gently Severus kissed the top of her head, leaving Lily with a content smile on her face. Wordlessly she handed him another cigarette and lit both of them up.

'Could you tell me a story about the wizarding world?'

'Of course. What would you like me to talk about?'

'Tell me all about hallowe'en.'

'Alright,' said Severus, and drifted off into a story on the significances of bonfires, bats, and the thinning of the veil that separated the spirits from that of the mortal world.

... ... ...

Severus had forgotten when his cigarette had burned up. The rain still clattering against the glass canopy, only this time there was no trace of thunder in the air. There was nothing magical about this evening.

How long had it been?

Seven years to the day he calculated. Everything had gone downhill between them since that faithful night on the top of the Astronomy Tower.

Dumbledore had promised him to bring the Potters into hiding. He had confided Severus that the Potters had been brought to a place where Dumbledore himself used to live many years ago. Severus did not know where that place might be, but as it used to be Dumbledore's himself, he believed it to be filled with old, strong magic. Strong enough to protect her.

Still, he couldn't shake that anxious feeling of not being able to protect her. Even if she couldn't see him. Even if she didn't trust him.

He turned around and saw that Lucius had returned from putting Draco to bed. He saw Lucius place a gentle kiss on Narcissa's lips. A chill of jealously washed over him.

Lucius walked up to him and joined him on the balcony. Wordlessly, Lucius took a cigarette from the pack that lay next to Severus, and lit it with his wand. Severus took another one, not wanting to feel unsocial around the man who had given him a place to stay. Without an exchanging of words, both men stared off into the rainy darkness.

Lily had called cigarettes 'little excuses'. She said that cigarettes gave you the excuse to walk away from conversation. A temporary opportunity that granted a timed moment for you, and you alone. Cigarettes meant you didn't have to force a string of meaningless words through your mouth in order to socialize. The cigarette filtered it all. Putting a stopper to nonsense. It meant you could be together alone. For so many times they had been together alone.

Lucius had understood that.

When both men had finished their cigarettes in peace Lucius turned to Severus.

'Still no sign of the Dark Lord tonight,' he said. 'Said he had to go on some mission by himself.'

'Must be something of vital importance then,' Severus replied. 'He normally lets us do all the dirty work.' He still wasn't able to shed the ill sense of foreboding that was haunting his mind.

'This has to be the most miserable Hallowe'en to date,' Lucius said to turn the conversation. 'Normally we'd have a huge bonfire in the yard. This depressing weather is making everything impossible. Did you enjoy dinner?'

'I did' Severus said truthfully. He felt like he had been dining like a king ever since his arrival at Malfoy Manor.

'Dobby's a stupid house-elf. But he can cook. It's why we picked him in the first place. Would you care to go back inside? It's cold out here.'

Severus nodded and wordlessly followed Lucius back inside.

'Shall we call it an early night?' Narcissa said from across the room.

Severus and Lucius nodded in agreement.

Lucius had grabbed Severus's glass of wine and took a sip. Severus was glad that he no longer had to worry about that social etiquette.

They heard a faint knocking on the front door downstairs.

'Are you expecting someone Lucius?' Narcissa asked.

'Not that I know off.'

With his wand held up, Lucius walked downstairs and to the front door. He swung it open, and outside stood a fat man with watery blue eyes. His blond hair plastered against his face from the heavy rain.

'H—Hello mister Malfoy,' the fat man whimpered.

'Who are you?' Lucius demanded to know.

'Peter. Peter Pettigrew, sir,' said Peter with a frightened look on his face. 'The Dark Lord sent me here.'

Lucius did not lower his wand. 'Why are you here?' he asked in the same demanding tone.

'The Dark Lord told me to speak to mister Snape, and mister Snape alone,' Peter said with a new bitterness to his voice.

'Severus!' Lucius yelled. 'There's someone here who wants to speak to you.'

Severus slowly descended the staircase. It took him a moment to recognise the man was that he was facing.

'Pettigrew!' he sneered.

'Hello Snivellus' Peter said, his face no longer showing any sign of fear. Only repulsion. 'It's been a while since we last saw each other.'

'Why are you here Pettigrew?' Severus demanded while he pulled his wand up against Peter's throat. 'How are you associated with the Dark Lord? Speak up!'

'The Dark Lord and I have been acquainted for a while now, Snivellus. He has a message for you.'

'I'll leave you two alone,' said Lucius. 'But don't allow this man inside Severus. I don't trust him'.

'I won't, Lucius. You can trust me to handle this.'

Lucius disappeared up the stairs. No doubt taking his wife further upstairs to their bedroom. Not wanting her to get involved with matters between Death Eaters and the Dark Lord.

'The Dark Lord wanted to let you know that he found the Potter's residence and intends to kill the child tonight.'

The loathing that had etched into Severus's face had been replaced with that of intense fear. He grabbed Peter with one hand by his collar, shaking him roughly.

'WHERE IS HE?' Severus yelled in hit fit of rage. 'WHERE ARE THEY HIDING? TELL ME YOU FILTHY RAT!'

'I—I'm not supposed to tell you,' Peter whimpered. 'TELL ME YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF VERMIN. THE DARK LORD WANTED ME TO BE THERE!' that last bit had been a lie. It was a feeble attempt at trying to get the information out of him.

'They—They are hiding in—in,' Peter was struggling hard to say the words. 'They went into hiding at Godric's Hollow.'

Severus let go of Peter's collar and disapparated with a loud crack, leaving Peter behind in the pouring rain.