A/N: I've wrote smut from a first person POV before, but never wrote slash smut like this. It might be terrible and if it is, I apologize. That being said, I wanted to write something a little more slow and sensual before I moved on to the sequel for It Ain't Hard Trying, which will most likely be full of kinky smut. So enjoy! Also, this is like really, super long, but I couldn't bear to break it down into chapters.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Glee belongs to people who are far more talented than I am. I'm really just a perv. ;)

The problem was waiting. Kurt Hummel was a lot of things; fabulous, beautiful, smart, fashion savvy... Really the list went on. But patient was never on that list and he was starting to little squirm in the seat next to me. I placed my hand on his knee, urging him with a little squeeze to just sit still. He turned to me, rolled his eyes, and huffed. "This is insane, why are we ever here?"

"Finn asked for our help," I reminded him. "And Finn is your brother and he cares about your opinion."

Kurt huffed again and leaned back against the couch. "But Blaine," he whined.

"You're cute all flustered and impatient," I whispered.

"Please, let me go hurry him along. We could be doing a million other things right now." Kurt started squirming again and my mind drifted to what we could be doing right now. Kurt's house was empty. Burt and Carol had left for a three day vacation earlier this morning. Before we had a chance to enjoy the parent free house, Finn had practically begged us to help him pick out a present for Rachel and a gift before he headed over there to spend the weekend with her. I had to agree with Kurt, we could be lying on his bed right now with my hands on his hips, his hands in my hair, and those sweet little moans he makes when I kiss that spot right above his pulse. "Blaine!"

The diva tone in that one word made me turn to him. "Yeah?"

"Are you even listening to me?" Kurt looked at me with those eyes, the eyes that warned me if I didn't pull some dapper move, I'd be in big trouble.

"Sorry baby," I said and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You had me lost in thought at other things we could be doing." I moved my hand to his thigh and squeezed softly. The sharp intake of breath made me bolder and I nipped at his earlobe with my teeth. On a normal basis, Kurt and I kept the PDA to a minimum. But the longer we'd been dating, the more Kurt's inhibitions had started to fade.

"Blaine," he moaned and I moved closer to him. I looked over at the dressing room Finn was still locked in, going through the things he would even consider wearing out of the hundreds of outfits Kurt had picked out for him. I could see the pile of clothes on the floor, an indication that Finn wasn't even half way through the clothes.

Kurt's hand was resting on top of mine and he turned slightly so that our lips were inches away from each other. We'd been here before, sharing the same breath and so close to kissing that we almost couldn't stand it. But while Kurt had moved to hand holding, light touches, and soft kisses in slightly public places; he'd never made a move to kiss me in a place filled with so many people. I was certain Kurt was still terrified at the thought that someone else would decide they needed to beat the gay out of us and therefore he kept his PDA to a minimum. "Kurt," I whispered back, practically begging him for permission. I wouldn't push Kurt's boundaries and he had pretty much set the pace for our relationship. In private he would give me a little more control, allow me to make suggestions and lead him to new things. But we had an unspoken understanding that all public displays of affection were completely under Kurt's control.

His lifted my hand and interlocked our fingers together. I almost looked down, nothing made my heart swell more than watching Kurt take my hand, but I didn't want to break his eye contact yet. He was battling, I could see it in his eyes. He wanted me and he knew I wanted him. He knew if it was up to me, I'd lean in those few inches and kiss him. But I needed permission and Kurt's eyes said he wasn't sure about it. I was about to break the eye contact before I lost my own control and pushed him too far, when he squeezed my hand and whispered; "Kiss me Blaine."

It was a request I was more than happy to give him. I closed the distance between us, savoring the feel of his lips on mine. They always tasted like coffee now; since he'd figured out my addiction to the beverage he had invested in some kind of coffee flavored lip gloss. It was intoxicating. A light brush of lips and I pulled away, keeping the distance just inches away from his lips. Soft kisses were all we did in public, but I didn't want to move because I wanted him to know I'd take more if he offered it. I wanted to say something but I was pretty sure my voice would crack if I tried to talk right now.

He turned slightly in his seat towards me. I watched his eyes, dark with lust and held my breath. This was, intense. Far more intense then we had ever gotten in public. Kurt's reservations about all this had been slowly fading away and we'd move to touching each other carefully in private. I'd never seen him without his immaculate clothes covering his body and he'd never quite been able to push for me to undress. We'd been hovering on this edge; one side was kisses and light touches, the other side was falling into something deeper. He was scared, I could see it in his eyes now. He'd have to make this move, I couldn't and wouldn't do that to him. "No," he said. I understood what was coming next, he'd done this before. He'd get to a point where he'd get uncomfortable and he'd back down. I was fine with this, I love Kurt and however slow he wanted to take this, I'd follow. I almost moved away when he said something else. "Really kiss me Blaine."

I'm sure I looked shell shocked. I felt shell shocked. But I knew one thing about Kurt, if I waited too long before acting on something he requested, he'd get afraid of rejection and back down. So I closed the gap again, letting my other hand travel up to the base of his neck, and I kissed him. Pressing my lips to those intoxicating coffee flavored ones of his, I licked his bottom lip and he opened for me. The moan he made when my tongue met his was thrilling and I pulled him closer to me so I could deepen the kiss. I never got tired of kissing this boy, of feeling his hands running tentatively down my arms and back, of the sweet noises he made, of the way he tasted. He let me control the kiss, teasing his tongue with my own until he was pulling away breathless. "Kurt," I whispered.

He broke our eye contact to look around the room. Confident that no one was paying us any attention, he turned back to me. "Please," he whispered, "get me out of here."

"Why?" I whispered the one word to him.

He flushed red but he didn't break the eye contact. I watch that courage fill him up, the courage he swore he got from me. He wouldn't believe me, but I had never been and probably would never be, as strong as he was. "I want more," he said.

More. He was squirming again but now I knew it was a different kind of impatience. "What do you want Kurt?"

I wanted to hear him tell me this. If he wanted me to pull him away from this mall and take him home, I needed to know what to prepare for. His other hand, the one not currently holding mine, came up to trace little circles on my chest. "I want more of you," he whispered. "Please," he said as he looked up at me.

I nodded. Letting go of him, I stood up slowly and headed towards Finn's dressing room. "Finn?"

"Yeah?" Finn's voice came through the door slightly breathless.

"You decent in there?" He didn't answer, just pulled the door open. He was wearing the same clothes that he had arrived in. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Finn moved over and he let me walk into the room. I caught Kurt's eyes right before Finn closed the door. They were darker than I'd ever seen them and he was visibly shaking. "What's up man?"

I looked around to the piles of clothes on the floor. We had already gotten Rachel's present earlier and that sat to the side in a chair. "I need to get Kurt out of here."

"Is he ok? Did someone mess with you guys while I've been in here?" The anger in Finn's eyes was enduring and I was glad that he had become so protective of his brother.

"No, nothing like that." I looked at the closed door, remembering the way Kurt looked at me. "It's... Personal I guess."

Finn watched me carefully and I felt like squirming under his stare. "Personal... You mean it's a sex thing right?"

"Kind of," I said. "I mean, Kurt and I haven't had sex if that's what you are asking. I doubt we'll be having sex when we leave."

Finn leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. "Kurt... He's fragile about these things."

"I know Finn, and I'd never push him into anything. I promise you, he asked me to take him home." He practically begged me but I wasn't about to share that much with Finn.

Finn nodded. "You are good for him, you know? I kind of always figured that Kurt would go through life... Searching for someone. Burt was always afraid of it too, you could see it when he looked at him before you came around. Burt was always afraid that Kurt wouldn't find anyone. Then he just kind of stumbled into you."

"Luckiest day of my life," I whispered. I looked up at Finn and realized that while I had conversations with the boy, I had never told him how I felt about Kurt. "I love him."

"I know," Finn said. "You get that look on your face that I see Rachel get when she looks at me." Finn picked up thee pairs of jeans and three shirts at random. "Do these match?" I nodded. "Awesome. I'll get these. Don't worry about driving me back home, I'm going to do a little more shopping and I'll call Rachel to come pick me up."

"Thank you," I said. I wondered if he could catch that I wasn't just thanking him for letting us go, I was thanking him for loving Kurt and caring for him. By the look in his eyes, he seemed to catch all the things I couldn't say to him. He leaned over and opened the door for me, which I walked out of before the situation got awkward. Kurt was sitting in the exact same place and position he had been when I entered the dressing room. He was staring at a mannequin but he had a glazed over expression that told me he was lost in his head. I came over to him, held my hand out, and pulled him up when he took it. "Finn's getting Rachel to pick him up. You still want to leave?"

"More than you know," Kurt whispered. "I'm..."

I put a finger to his lips and he stopped talking. "We'll talk about this in the car, ok?" He nodded and let me walk out of the store, his hand clutched in mine as he followed.

We reached the car with no problems and only a few people staring at our hands. I opened the door for him and he slide into the passenger seat slowly, careful not to wrinkle the Marc Jacobs shirt he had on. I got behind the wheel and pulled out of the parking space. "Blaine?"

"Yeah?" I couldn't turn to look at him but I could feel his nerves.

"Why have you been so patient with me? Doesn't this slow pace drive you mad?" Kurt fiddled with radio until the music was playing softly through the car.

"Because I love you," I said. I had said it before, in our coffee shop after Nationals. I was sure if I could see his face, he would have the same shocked but happy expression he had back then. It always shocked him to hear me say it, as if he wasn't sure yet that he should believe me. "I'd do anything for you Kurt. If you want to take this slow, I'll take this slow. I'm happy just being near you."

"Don't... I mean..." his voice broke and he looked out the window and I could feel him shaking softly beside me. "Don't you want more?"

That was a tricky question. Most questions Kurt asked me were. Sometimes I was afraid that if I answered wrong, I'd push him away. But I was always and sometimes painfully honest with him. "Of course I do," I said.

"Like what?" His voice was soft and he was struggling to keep the conversation going.

"I don't know how to answer that Kurt," I replied as I turned into the driveway of his house. "I could give you a list, but it's not about that."

"What's it about?" Kurt turned in the seat as soon as we parked and clicked his seatbelt off.

I followed his movement and took his hands in mine. "Sex is about being... Closer. It's about wanting to give someone pleasure. It's just another way to show someone how much you love and appreciate them."

"But people like Santana and Puck treat it so casually."

"Some people do," I agreed. "To some people it doesn't mean more than getting off."

Kurt bit his bottom lip and I couldn't help following the movement with my eyes. "It means more to you than that?"

"So much more," I whispered.

"I talked to Finn about this once," he said. I raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. Finn hadn't been comfortable with the physical side of our relationship until recently, which meant that Kurt had talked to him very recently. "He told me he regretted losing his virginity to Santana. He told me," Kurt struggled with the words and I watched him carefully for any signs that this conversation was getting too much for him. But that courage of his came back and he sat up a little straighter. "He told me that it made him realize how important it is to be in love with the person you sleep with. He said, when you are in love, you trust someone with your whole heart. And eventually, you start to trust them with your body and it comes together in this way that can't compare to anything else."

"That's quite eloquent for Finn," I said with a smile and knew we were both thinking about how good Rachel truly was for Finn. "Come on, let's go inside and we'll keep talking."

Kurt nodded and he waited in his seat until I came around to open the door for him. As he slide out, he threw his arms around me and pulled me to him in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist and let my head rest on his shoulder as he breathed in deeply. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too Kurt." Sometimes it felt like my heart was too full with how much I loved the boy in my arms. He was crying, I could feel the tears falling down onto my skin. "Hey," I said and I looked up at him. I whipped the tears away from his cheek. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not sure," he said softly. "Sometimes it feels like I'm combusting with the way I feel for you."

"I feel the same way baby," I said and I kissed him softly.

We walked from the driveway into Kurt's room without saying anything else. I'd been in this room so many times but it felt different now. "Do you still want to talk?" Kurt asked as he hung his jacket and mine on the back of his door. He walked over and set his iPod to his personal playlist for us. Soft music flowed through the room and I held my hand out to him.

"Dance with me," I said and pulled him close. I led us around the room, the music playing softly around us. "You are beautiful," I whispered to him.

He blushed and laid his head on my shoulder. "You spoil me," he said in my ear.

"It's kind of hard not to," I said. "Besides, you make me so happy and I just want to make you happy too."

"You do," he whispered. "Do you want to have sex with me?"

He asked the question so softly that I almost didn't hear it. "Yes," I said softly.

Kurt took in a sharp intake of breath and I wanted to say more but he put his finger on my lips. "You don't have to explain or apologize for that answer." I nodded and he removed his finger. We weren't dancing anymore but he hadn't let go yet. "I'm scared."

I pulled away from him slightly so that I could look into his eyes. "You don't have to do anything Kurt."

"I know," he said. "I want to. It's all I've been thinking about after you leave these past few weeks."

I guess it was my turn to take that sharp intake of breath and I let go of the boy in my arms so he could't feel me shaking. There was a slight look of confusion in his eyes when I let him go. "I'm trying really hard to hold back Kurt. So, I'm going to need you to stay right there for a few minutes, ok?" He went to move and I put my hand up. "Please, I'm begging you to stay where you are. It's not that I don't want this, I just told you I did. But there's more that we need to talk about and I'm not sure I can do that if I'm touching you."

Kurt nodded and he walked around me, keeping a safe distance from me. I leaned up against the bedpost and took deep breaths. I was sure he could see me shaking. He sat on the opposite side of the bed and begin to take off his boots. "I didn't think it would affect you this much."

"I didn't either," I replied honestly. "It means a lot to me that you even started this conversation."

"Can I come back over there?" I nodded but I didn't answer. He walked over to me and stood back in front of me, keeping a distance between us. It wasn't enough, I could have easily reached out and pulled him to me. The air in the room was getting thicker and I was still breathing deeply. "I've been thinking about this, that's why I talked to Finn. I also talked to Carol." I looked up at him carefully. "She's not my mom, but she's my stepmom and she's really there for me. I needed to ask things I knew Finn wouldn't be able to answer. And I didn't want to start this conversation with you until I knew more."

"Understandable," I said and felt silly that my voice cracked at the one word.

Kurt looked down at the carpet, moving his bare foot around in a circle. "I'm terrified at the thought. In general; sex has always freaked me out. You remember, I could barely even think about." I didn't want him thinking about that, about how I had told him he wasn't sexy. Because I had been so wrong, when he was being natural, Kurt was sexier than anyone I'd ever seen. "But when I think about sex with you, it doesn't scare or freak me out."

I took another sharp, shaky breath. "Baby..." I don't know what I was going to say after that because he's eyes glazed over with lust at the term of endearment. It took everything I had to keep myself from grabbing him to me.

He took a step forward and I stayed still. "Can you stay that way?"

"Why?"

He flushed again and then looked into my eyes. "Because I want to touch you."

I nodded and wrapped my arms around the bedpost. It would take a lot for me to stay still and not touch him back, but if he wanted this, I'd do it. "Please," I whispered.

I had never done that, begged him for anything. But the way he was looking at me, the way he flushed red when he looked at me, was wearing me down. He looked scared but happy and I knew he was grateful for some indication that I wanted him. He took another step and suddenly he was there, right in front of me. He trailed a finger down my neck and shoulder before trailing down to my chest and tracing those little circles again. He pressed his entire hand against my chest over my heart and I took a deep breath. He'd done this before, touched me while we were kissing. But this was different, more intimate in a way that I hadn't known could exist. His hands traced over my chest before moving lower to run over my hips and up my sides. "You are shaking." He leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Are you nervous?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. He played with the edge of my shirt, before letting his hands trail under to caress my skin. "Ah," the strangled sound left me as soon as his hands touched my skin. "Kurt," I whispered.

He ran his hands up my chest, back down, and then rested them on my hips. "Can I take it off?"

I might not last through this, I realized. His tentative touches, his sweet questions in that shaky voice, the look in his eyes. I nodded because I honestly didn't think my brain could form words anymore. He played with the hem of my shirt and I couldn't tell if he was nervous or teasing me. He pulled the shirt up slowly and I raised my arms so he could get it off easier. He let it fall down to the ground with a slight gasp. It was odd, having him stare at me. I could feel the heat in his gaze.

He returned to touching my chest, his finger tracing the lines of my stomach, the arch of my hipbones, and oh! One finger trailed over my nipple and I couldn't helped the strangled sound that left me. I was so turned on, my skin was so sensitive that his touch felt like fire. "You're beautiful," he whispered.

Before I could stop him, he leaned down and kissed above my heart. I gasped and couldn't help but bringing my arms down to wrap around his waist. "Kurt," I whined. He had reduced me to a puddle of one words and barely coherent thoughts with just a few touches.

He ran his hands down my shoulders and arms before pulling them away from him and stepping back slightly out of my reach. "I think... I know I'm ready for this." I didn't think I was breathing anymore. "But I need to set the pace for this. Can I do that?"

"Of course," I said breathlessly. "But if I pull away from you, for any reason, you need to understand why." He looked up at me and nodded for me to explain. "I... You... Fuck." I looked down at the floor and when I looked back up I knew he watching my face getting red and wondering what was wrong. "You've barely touched me and I'm so turned on I can't move. So if I pull away from you, it's to keep this from being over too quick."

Kurt smiled. "Finn used to think about the time he hit the mailman, to cool down."

"That's awful," I said with a smile. "I'm not thinking about anything but you and I understand your need to go slow. I'm just warning you, I don't want you to think you did something wrong."

"I understand," he said. He played with the hem of his shirt. "You'd tell me if I did something you didn't like?"

"At this point, I don't think there's anything I wouldn't like Kurt." He smiled and I wondered if he knew that he melted my heart with that smile. "But if you want me to do something, you need to ask me for it ok?"

He nodded and took the step back into my space. "Kiss me please," he whispered.

I placed an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. I let the other hand reach up and stroke his cheek before closing the gap and kissing him. He still tasted like coffee and this time his tongue flicked out to lick my bottom lip. He took control of the kiss, his tongue swirling around mine, and he pushed me softly until my back was against the bedpost again. His ran his hands down my chest again and when he ran his blunt nails slightly over my stomach, I jumped in his arms. He broke the kiss and leaned down, placing open mouth kisses along my neck. I couldn't breath, the air was thick in the room and I was scared I was going to wake up from a dream any minute. His licked along my neck to my ear and he sucked the lobe softly. It was physically painful to keep my hips still when all I wanted to was to thrust up against him. He kissed down my neck and chest again. He licked along my collarbone, licking down the center of my chest, and then he licked over to my nipple. "Shit," I hissed out and gripped the bedpost behind me. He grinned, I could feel it against my skin before he sucked the tiny nub.

It was mind-blowing, the way his mouth felt on my chest. He pulled away from me again and looked up at me. "Your eyes," he whispered.

"Darker?" He nodded. "So are yours."

He watched me carefully before moving into me, his chest touching mine. "I'm..."

"I know," I whispered. I placed my hands on his hips. He wanted to keep control but he didn't know or was scared to ask for what he wanted. "Do you want me to help you?" He nodded. "Can I take this off?" My fingers played with the hem of his shirt and he bit his lip before he nodded. I pulled the fabric up, letting the tips of my fingers trail along his skin. He lifted his arms and I removed the shirt from him. Folding it carefully, I placed in on the nightstand. "Tell me what you want baby."

"Touch me," he whispered. "Please Blaine," he whined.

I copied his movements, running my hands down his chest and hips and side. He gasped when I ran a finger over his own nipples. "Feel good baby?"

He made a noise that sounded like a yes and a moan mixed together. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back softly. I moved in, kissing along his neck. I kept the same pattern, following his movements exactly. He moaned and I dared a bit more, trailing my fingers along the skin above his pants. "Blaine," he hissed. "Please."

"No Kurt," I whispered in his ear. "You have to tell me what you want. I'll copy what you do, but if you want more, you have to ask me or tell me. I don't want to push."

He nodded and he leaned into kiss me. It was another slow, deep kiss and he let his hands roam over my skin before letting me pull him until our chests touched. It was like a spark, feeling his skin against mine. "Oh," he said. He kissed my neck, just under my ear, before licked around the shell of my ear. I shuddered under him and he whispered, "I want more." I didn't move, it wasn't enough to know that he wanted more. He had to tell me. If he couldn't form the words, then he wasn't ready for it and he knew that. "Undress me."

I pulled him away from me quickly and looked into his eyes. "Are you sure?" As much as I wanted to see him laid out on the bed naked, I was nervous.

"I don't think I have the courage to undress you," he whispered. "But I want you to touch me. Please?" I nodded and kissed him again, pulling him against me and turning us. With his back against the bedpost, I let my hands trail down his chest and rest on his hips. I kissed down his neck, down his chest, and sunk to my knees before him. "Oh my Gaga," he said breathlessly. "You look so hot."

I smiled up at him and let him watch me carefully as I leaned in and licked across the skin above his pants. Kurt gasped and his hips moved of their own accord. "Fuck you are sexy," I whispered into his hip. I ran my hands over those skinny black jeans, down his outer thighs, and back up his inner thighs. He was shaking under me and I pressed him against the bedpost a little more so I could keep him standing. I flicked the button of his pants and pulled the zipper down slowly. He let out a hiss and it urged me on. I slipped two fingers in the waistband and pulled the jeans off. He stepped out of them once they hit the floor and I could feel him shaking hard. I looked up at him and pressed my hand against his chest. "Calm down baby," I whispered. "Breath or you will pass out."

He nodded and I watched him as he took deep, shaky breaths until his breathing evened out. I stood up and stepped away from him slowly. "Do you want me to take mine off?"

He nodded and I could feel his eyes on me as I stripped my own jeans off. I reached a hand out and he slipped his in mine. I pulled him closer to me before leading him over to the bed slowly. "Blaine," he said and I turned to look at him.

I'd been expecting him to stop this since it started, but now faced with the thought, I was scared. "Yes?"

"I love you," he said. "And I really want this. I'm really ready."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I love you baby," and I pulled him into a hug. "I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone. Thank you for trusting me with this."

I turned us and I backed him up to the bed until he placed one knee on the bed. I kept moving and he mirrored the movements until he was laying down on the bed. I let him pull himself into the center of the bed, watching him carefully. He was so beautiful. I slid in next to him and he turned on his side. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him to me. Now that we were here, I was sure he wasn't going to back out of this. And I was nervous as hell. "I love you," he whispered again.

"I love you," I said. I kissed him slowly as he ran his hands of my back. Carefully, he pulled himself closer to me and slipped one of his legs in between mine. I pulled him closer until our bodies were touching completely.

"Blaine," he whispered and ran his hand along my hip. "Please," he whimpered.

I rolled, pulling him with me until he was straddling my hips. "Kiss me Kurt." He leaned down, kissing me deeply and I let my hands run down his back, stopping at his hips.

He moaned into my mouth and he thrusted against me. He gasped, pulled away from the kiss, and repeated the movement. I hissed and he did it again. When I looked up at him, his eyes were watching me and gauging my reactions. "That feels amazing," he said breathlessly. I nodded and copied his movements, thrusting my hips up to meet his. He moaned and pushed back against me. "More," he hissed and placed his hands on my hips. He hooked my boxers and pulled them down slowly. "Wow," he said under his breath.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. "See something you like Hummel?"

Kurt looked up at me and I could see him trying to decide whether he should have a snappy comment for that. Instead he shocked me, held my gaze, and removed his own boxers. He was... Amazing. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him and I barely registered his comment. "I could ask you the same Anderson," he said in his best diva voice. I nodded and it was psychically hard to keep from reaching up and pulling him to me. "Can I..." he didn't finish the question but his hands on my thighs were enough indication of what he wanted?

"Yes," I whispered. He ran a hand up my thigh slowly and I was pretty sure that by the time his soft hand touched me, I wasn't breathing anymore. I was shaking with the effort to stay still under his tentative touch. He ran a single finger down my cock and then back. "Fuck," I hissed when he closed a fist around me.

"Feel good baby?" He looked up at me and I saw something new, he was teasing me on purpose.

"Please Kurt," I begged. He smiled down at me before moving his hand and my vision got blurry. His pace was slow and I could feel his eyes on me, the heat from his gaze burning me up. My eyes closed and I leaned back, enjoying the slow and steady strokes he was giving me. I should have kept my eyes open so I was prepared. When I felt the soft lick to the tip of my cock, I jumped under him. My eyes flew open and I looked down to see him kneeling in front of me, his coffee flavored lips inches away from me. "Kurt," I hissed.

He looked up at me as he lowered his head, opening his mouth to let me slip past those lips. Holy shit. He swirled his tongue around the tip and I had to grip the sheets to hold myself down. His eyes closed and he began to move his head up and down. I squirmed, trying desperately to keep my hips from thrusting into his mouth. And then he moaned.

"Shit," I cried out and my hand grabbed softly onto his hair. He didn't stop, instead his movements became surer and quicker, he took more of me into his mouth, and I couldn't take it anymore. "Stop Kurt," I said and I used the hand I had on his hair to pull him back from me.

He raised up and sat up, watching me. I didn't think I'd ever regain the ability to breath normally and I was trying desperately to calm myself down. "Are you ok? You aren't breathing normal."

I shook my head and leaned my head back, closing my eyes and trying to clear my mind of the image of Kurt sucking me off. I could feel him looking at me and I knew I needed to pull myself together quickly. "I'm fine Kurt," I finally said.

"This is one of those times, isn't it?" When I nodded, he smiled. "I was worried I'd done something wrong." He was quiet for a moment and then he asked a question. "What would have happened if I hadn't stopped?"

I looked up at Kurt, who's eyes were still roaming my body. I held my hand out. "Come here and I'll show you." It was a daring move and he could easily turn me down. Instead, he moved and slipped his hand in mine. I pulled him down beside me and moved to straddle his hips. "You sure you want this?" He nodded, his eyes wide at the skin on skin contact of our bodies. I leaned down and kissed him softly before trailing kisses down his chest. He started squirming when I started kissing along his hips and he practically jumped when I kissed the tip of his cock. I wanted to watch his reactions to this, but I was afraid that seeing Kurt come would push me over the edge. So I held his hips down on the bed and I took him into my mouth, keeping my eyes shut. He moaned and I was glad I had his hips pressed down. The noises he started making where driving me crazy and I needed him to come soon before I did. I hummed around him and he let out a shout. I could feel him tensing under me and I was excited to give this beautiful boy his first orgasm from another person. I sucked hard, hollowing out my cheeks, and moaned deeply. He yelled out my name, his hand wrapping in my hair, and he was suddenly filling my mouth up. The taste was odd, but so very Kurt, and I had to struggle to keep my own orgasm back as I swallowed around him.

When I looked up, he was gripping the sheets and his eyes were glazed over. His breath was coming in short pants and he had never looked sexier than in that moment. "Blaine," he whispered and he reached out for me. I let him pull me down beside him and I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me. He laid his head on my chest and I brought my hand up to run my fingers through his hair. "I feel like I should say thank you."

I laughed and squeezed him softly. "My pleasure," I whispered and it shocked me how deep my voice had gotten.

He pulled away softly and looked up at me. "Will... Sex will hurt, won't it?"

"Yes," I whispered. "At first it will."

He bit his bottom lip and laid his head back down on my chest. I rolled over onto my back and I pulled him against my side. His fingers traced circles on my chest and his breath tickled against my skin. "I want you to," he whispered.

"Want me to what?" I was trying hard to focus on anything other than his fingers, which were now tracing those little circles on my hip.

"Make love to me," he replied.

I looked down at him as he looked up at me. "Kurt, do you know what you are asking for?"

He bit his bottom lip again and nodded. "I want it."

I hadn't though about which one of us would bottom, but I was sure that Kurt wouldn't have been this comfortable with the idea. "It's going to hurt baby."

"I trust you," he whispered. My heart swelled and I could feel my eyes tearing up. "Are you ok?"

"I pretty sure I just fell in love with you all over again," I whispered. I kissed him, rolling over to lay on top of him. All the kisses and the touched blurred until I was sure I'd explode from the pleasure. I was so caught up in the noises Kurt made as I sucked on a spot just below his collarbone, that I didn't notice at first that Kurt was handing me something. Taking the small bottle from him, I looked down at it and then up at him. "Kurt?"

"I need you Blaine," he whispered. "Please."

I nodded and leaned down, licking and kissing my way along his hips. I waited until he was moaning softly, writhing under me, before I opened the bottle and covered my fingers with the lube. I trailed a finger down and teased his entrance. He bucked under me and I leaned up, kissing him hard as I pushed a finger in slowly. Shit he was tight, and so warm, and oh god how was I supposed to last while inside him. He was whimpering softly, adjusting the feeling and I stilled my finger. "You ok?"

"Move, please Blaine." I complied, moving my finger in and out of him slowly. I could feel him trembling under me and I watched him unravel below me as he whispered "more." I added a second finger, watching him carefully for any signs of displeasure. He looked so sexy, his head thrown back and clutching the sheet, I had to close my eyes just to stop myself from getting too close. I picked up the pace, thrusting my fingers in and out of him, before crooking them slightly in him like I'd read about. The effect was instant, Kurt cried out and his hips left the bed before he came down, thrusting himself down against my fingers. "Please Blaine, more, I need more."

I added a third finger and hoped that I wouldn't come before I had a chance to be inside him. This beautiful, amazing, kind boy was all mine and I was more honored than I could have ever been at the gift he was giving me. "I love you," I whispered.

"I..." he gasped as I hit that bundle of nerves again, "Love you too. Please Blaine, I need you so much right now."

This wasn't going to last long. I could tell on his face that he was so close and I'd been on the verge for what seemed like days. I ripped the condom I hadn't realized he'd handed me earlier, sliding it on and covering myself with the lube. I positioned myself at his entrance and leaned over to kiss him. "You ready?"

"Please," he hissed and I complied, pushing in slowly. He cried out and tears started falling down his cheeks. I stayed still, then moved another slow inch into him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and his nails dug into the skin of my back. "Oh my," he shuddered breathless and his face scrunched up at the pain.

I almost stopped at the site of the pain on his face, but my hips wouldn't listen and I slowly inched in until I was buried completely in him. "Fuck," I whispered. "So tight baby, so..."

"It hurts so much," he whispered. "Kiss me." So I did, I kissed him slowly and deeply, exploring his mouth with my tongue, hoping and praying that I'd last longer than three seconds. Slowly, Kurt begin to move his hips and he finally whispered, "move."

I pulled back carefully, watching his face for any signs, before pushing back in. He moaned and his grip on my shoulders got tighter, but his hips thrusted up to meet mine. I watched, fascinated, as the pain etched away from his face with each stroke until he was moaning an incoherent mix of my name, English and I believe French curses. "You are so beautiful," I whispered, reaching between us to stroke him.

"Blaine," he muttered. "I'm so close."

I sped up just a bit, stroking him in time with my own thrusts. "Me too baby," I whispered. I leaned down and rested my head on his shoulder. "Let go baby, come for me."

He moaned my name and I could feel him tensing below me. As I watched, Kurt finally cried out and came with my name falling from his lips. His orgasm caused him to clench around me and as I came, I realized that I'd just seen the most beautiful site in the world. I'd just seen Kurt Hummel, a boy so obsessed with being perfect and put-together all the time, fall apart with me. And for now, I was the only person in the world who would ever get to see it. "I love you," he whispered as he regained his breath.

I rolled over carefully, sliding out slowly from him. He winced and I kissed his forehead. I removed the condom, tied it up, and threw it in the general direction of the trashcan. It had gotten dark outside at some point and I could barely see Kurt in the pale light of the moon. I pulled him closer, letting him snuggle into my chest, and I pulled a blanket over us. "I love you too Kurt." And at the moment, I didn't care that we were both sweaty and covered in come. I fell asleep, holding my amazing boyfriend in my arms, and realizing I'd never known love until that moment.

A/N: So there we are. Hope the first person POV was ok. I'm working on the sequel to It Ain't Hard Trying, but it will probably be about a week before I get that posted. I have another one-shot on the back burner I might post before that. :) Hugs and kisses to everyone who reads my stories!