Author's Note: Finals week, I'm stressed. Here's a crack drabble thing created for the purpose of keeping me sane.
Rating: T because Hiruma likes to swear and think dirty thoughts.
Summary: Monta likes Mamori, Mamori likes Hiruma, and Hiruma likes- …!?
Disclaimer: In no way do I own Eyesheild 21.
No Winners
Hiruma Youichi was miserable. It never surprised Kurita or Musashi (when the old man stuck his nose in the clubhouse to say 'hi') to see a miserable, depressing Hiruma at the end of a long football practice.
The poor quarterback was stuck in the middle of the world's most ridiculous love triangle. Raimon "Monta" Tarou, a wide receiver for the Deimon Devil Bats, was madly and blatantly crushing on one Anezaki Mamori. Said Anezaki Mamori was the team's manager and motherly figure, literally doing everything from cleaning up to scolding the team as needed. Anezaki Mamori wasn't nearly as vocal about her crush on Hiruma Youichi, but she kept constantly reminding everyone of her feelings. It always came out in the little things, like the coffee that was always ready, the gun cleaning kit left open and ready, all those sorts of little things that drove Hiruma crazy.
Why would the kind little things drive him crazy? Because he couldn't reject the affections of the little things and stop her attempts to whoo him. And also because the little things were, despite their annoying intentions, very useful for him. Hiruma didn't want Mamori's love because he had set his eyes on another.
Hiruma Youichi was silently, painfully crushing on Monta.
Now how the intelligent, demonic quaterback could possibly fall for the annoying, dump, loud-mouthed Monta is not something one can easily visualize or understand. The best way to look at the development of this crush is to look at Hiruma's mind for a small second. First off, Hiruma was gay and only interested in men. Secondly Hiruma was madly in love with American Football and found his fellow players extra attractive for that reason. Thirdly, Hiruma had a soft spot for cute things and in a strange way Monta was indeed, very cute. Fourthly, Hiruma was a quaterback and meant nothing on the field without a receiver.
Musashi blamed the start of the crush on the fact that Hiruma wouldn't feel complete as a player without Monta on the field with him. The quarterback and receivers spent a lot of time practicing with one another, trying to become one mind in two bodies to insure perfect passing.
Hiruma knew that his feelings would never be returned. Monta was straight and blindly in love with Mamori. On top of that they played football on the same team, having romance on the field would simply over complicate a lot matters and completely fuck up the team dynamic.
So poor Hiruma sat there, depressed at the end of a long practice knowing that the one person he wanted would always be in sight, but never in reach. Kurita and Musashi could only watch their old friend suffer in silence. They had heard many a rant about how wonderful Monta was and how very, very unfair it was that he was straight. The two could only watch Hiruma try desperately during practice to improve his and Monta's plays while keeping his distance.
"That fucking manager!" Hiruma roared suddenly. Musashi and Kurita only exchanged a look. Not only did Hiruma find Mamori's advances annoying, but he really wished she would actually return Monta's feelings. That way Hiruma could be content knowing his crush was in a happy, romantic relationship. This looked to be the start of another rant about how Mamori was incapable of handling anything right.
Well it probably would have been if Monta hadn't just burst into the clubhouse, crying a little. Hiruma was frozen, completely upset at the sight of his crush upset and frustrated at the fact he couldn't do anything. Monta didn't say anything and walked right into the showers. Hiruma sat down and put his face in his hands, trying not to cry himself.
Sena came running in not long after. Thankfully the runningback couldn't see Hiruma's front from where he was standing and suspected that Hiruma had a headache (which wasn't too surprising they had just had a particularly bad practice).
"Have you seen Monta?" Sena asked worriedly.
"He went into the showers," Kurita frowned, "what happened?"
"I-" Sena cut himself off while he searched for words, "…don't know."
"Fucking find out then!" Hiruma hissed acidly, mostly pissed he couldn't go in there and find out. Sena eeped and rushed into the locker room to comply.
As it turned out Monta had finally overheard Mamori talking about her crush on Hiruma with one of her friends. Monta was heartbroken. Hiruma's heart was breaking. Mamori was oblivious.
For those three, there would never be any winners.
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Angsty crack, that should be a new genre. Tell me what you think.