Okay...I got this idea after finishing writing 'This is War', but I was extremely tired and I needed to go to bed.
I do not own Naruto, because, if I did, Konohamaru would've used Naruto instead of Sai for his boy-on-boy technique...and Sakura would've died of nosebleed...the bitch...I do not own 'California Gurls' by Katy Perry feat. Snoop Dogg, either.
Warnings: SasuNaru, OnesidedSakuInoHinaNaru, mentions of SakuInoHinaKiba. Jiggly boob-ness...which sucks...
Enjoy my dementedness. :D
Sasuke and Naruto were walking down the street to the bridge, arguing loudly. At least, Naruto was arguing loudly and Sasuke was replying softly.
Suddenly, a pop beat started playing. They both stopped; Sasuke with a raised eyebrow and Naruto looking confused.
'Greetings loved ones.'
Came a smooth, male voice.
'Let's take journey.'
Sasuke and Naruto glanced at each other, alarmed.
'I know a place.
Where the grass is really greener
Warm, wet and wild,
There must be something in the water!'
Suddenly, three girls wearing blue wigs, fake cupcakes glued onto bright, shiny blue tank tops and short, shiny blue pants skipped into view, singing along with the music. They started a dance routine, seeming to ignore the boys standing in front of them.
'Sippin' gin and juice
Laying underneath the palm trees.
(Undone)
The boys
Break their necks
Try'na creep a little sneak peek
(At us)'
The girls did a little jump, two of the girls' breasts jumping high, the other one's barely moving at all.
'You could travel the world!
But nothing comes close to the golden coast!
Once you party with us,
You'll be falling in love!'
The girls winked at both of them, dancing around each other in circles.
'Ko-no-ha girls, we're unforgettable!
Daisy dukes, bikinis on top.
Sun-kissed skin, so hot
We'll melt your popsicle!'
They winked again, Naruto's face looking even more confused now than before. He looked at Sasuke, who was slowly shaking his head, as he seemed to recognize the girls.
'Ko-no-ha girls, we're undeniable!
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it one lock(A/N: not sure about this line…)
West-coast represent
Now put your hands up!'
The girls waved their hands as they shook their butts. Naruto was watching, unsure of how to react. Sasuke was sniggering, trying to hold back a laugh.
'Sex on the beach,'
They pointed in the vague direction of the closest beach; a full day's travel away.
'We got white sand in our stilettos.'
They lifted up a foot delicately, showing high stilettos the colour of candy.
'We freak, in my jeep!'
What the hell's a jeep? Kyuubi questioned, flicking a tail against the bars of his cage.
Dunno. Naruto replied.
'Snoop Doggy Dogg on the stereo.
You could travel the world!
But nothing comes close to the golden coast.
Once you party with us,
You'll be fallin' in love!'
Again the girls winked. Naruto heard Sasuke snort and looked to see a smirk wobbling on his face, his eye twitching. Shrugging, Naruto went back to watching the girls dance.
'Ko-no-ha girls, we're unforgettable!
Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!
Sun-kissed skin, so hot
We'll melt your popsicle.
Ko-no-ha girls, we're undeniable,
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got it one lock.
West coast represent, now put your hands up!'
The girls jumped around each other, shaking their hands high in the air, their wigs dancing around them. A male voice took the role of singer, but Naruto still couldn't see where it was coming from, or where the music originated.
'Toned, tan, fit and ready,
Turn it up 'cause it's gettin' heavy
Wild, wild west-coast,
These are the girls I love the most.
I mean the ones, I mean like she's the one,
Kiss her, touch her, squeeze her buns,
The girl's a freak; she drive a jeep
And live on the beach.
I'm okay, I won't play, I love the bay,
Just like I love to say,
That beach and hot springs,
Summertime is everything.
Homeboy's bangin' out,
All that ass, hangin' out.
Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, no weenies
Just a king and queenie.'
The girls swung their arms above their heads, swinging their hips along to the beat.
'Lady, my baby?
(Yeah?)
Looky here, baby
(Uh-huh)
I'm all up on ya,
'Cause your representin' Ko-no-ha.
Ko-no-ha girls, we're unforgettable,
Daisy dukes, bikinis on top.
Sun-kissed skin, so hot
We'll melt your popsicle!
Ko-no-ha girls, we're undeniable
Fine, fresh, fierce, we got in one lock.
West-coast represent, now put your hands up!
Ko-no-ha, Ko-no-ha girls.
(Ko-no-ha girls, man)
Ko-no-ha, Ko-no-ha girls.
(I really wish you all could be Ko-no-ha girls)'
The girls finished with a flurry, posing against each other and fluttering their eyelashes at the boys.
"Um…" Naruto muttered, scratching his head. "Nice…performance?" He said, sounding unsure.
The girls fell over, panting. "WHAT?" Screeched one of them. She looked up, jade green eyes angry. "We do all this and all you can say is 'nice performance'?" She growled, standing up.
Naruto's eyes widened. "Sakura-chan? I didn't even know it was you!" He said, very much surprised. Sasuke was turned away, his shoulders shaking slightly.
Sakura gaped. "Huh?"
"You didn't recognize any of us?" Ino asked, standing too and looking incredulous when Naruto shook his head.
"D-did you like it, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked, blushing. Naruto looked confused.
"Why would it matter if I liked it?" He asked. Sasuke turned and whispered for a few seconds in his ear. Naruto's expression became increasingly horrified. "They want to…" Sasuke nodded. "With me?" Nod. "At the same time?" Another nod. There was silence while the girls leaned forward eagerly. "EEEWWWW!" Naruto said, shuddering. "Gross! Who'd want that?" He asked. Sasuke shrugged.
"Eh?" The girls said as one.
"If that's what they want, then I'm glad I'm gay!" He said, shuddering again.
"You're…" Sakura began.
"Gay?" Ino finished, unable to comprehend properly. Naruto nodded.
Sasuke put a finger on his chin, looking thoughtful. "That performance," the sarcasm was like an icy cold wind, "actually gave me some ideas." With that, he grabbed Naruto's wrist and dragged the boy away.
The girls stood for a moment, depressed. "He's gay!" Hinata cried, tears gathering in her eyes.
"Second-best it is!" Sakura said, striding off to find Kiba.
"Second-best!" The other two girls agreed. When the girls found and performed for Kiba, let's just say they weren't able to walk properly for a week…and neither was Naruto.
Well? Was it funny, lame, stupid or meh? Tell me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaaha?
I'll stop now.
REVIEW!
SoA, out! PEACE!