Santa Clive Plays With His Pussy, a professor layton fanfic

TOO. MANY. RANDOM. STORIES. TO COMPETE WITH! As of now, I am going to use my BEST attempt EVER at comedy. I like rivalries you know '-' So yeah, I'm competing with everyone else who has ever submitted a random story to the Layton section to create the biggest random story ever that tops everyone else's random story! I know, doesn't make sense, I just like competition...*shrug*

Let the INDIGESTIBLE DEPRESSION

...

RE-BEGIN!

Santa Clive Plays With His Pussy While The Author Creates An Awesome Terminator Parody

"Meow!" "Meow!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA!" said a demented Clive Dove as he played with his new cat in his white padded room, it was only a month and a few days till March 27th, and at a retailer defined price of 250 Euros, he'd expected to be out in no time!

"HAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHA! I don't even know who the fuck brought you here, but your FURRRR IS SOOOOOOOOO BIEBERLICIOUS!" Clive said, both of his eyes looking in two different directions as he licked his cats fur, "Meow...?"

Meanwhile at Professor Homosexua-...Layton's Office

:"PROFESSAH!" said Luke, whose voice has been replaced by Barry from American Dad, "WHAT. WHAT I MEAN WHAT DO YOU WANT LUKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!"

Luke's Puzzle Fact #69

"I WANNA HEAR A STORY ABOUT BAAAAASEEEEEBAAAALL!"

"No."

"!"

"N-"

"BASEBALL."

"Luk-"

"BASEBALL."

"LUKE!-"

"GRAPEFRUIT."

"DAMMIT LUKE WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

"I'm detecting large quantities of both WIN and FLORA in this sector! Quick, Professah! TO THE HOMOMOBILE!"

"I suppose...but must we call it that?"

Back with the World's most idiotic non-sensual European

Clive was asleep with his pussy, rubbing his hand over it, giving it a massage as it purred back at him, Clive grinned, his pussy was the sweetest pussy there ever was, "Meeeeeeeeowwwww"

"CLIVE DOVE!" said the Officers who just GLADLY freakin' stepped in Clive's mental room, "CAN YOU, DIVIDE BY ZERO, AND CLEAN YOUR PUSSY AT THE SAME TIME."

"Well I can clean my pussy AND FLOSS IT!"

"Oh god..we...we really didn't need to know that, anyways, you've been selected to race the race of your life! In the ULTIMATE SUPER DUPER MEGA ULTRA MONSTER TITANIC GINOURMUS HUMONGOUS POWERFUL-"

"Are you quite finished yet?" Clive said, eating his arm, "Erm...yeeeah...anyways, if you win the race, your free to go from the mental facility, and if you don't, YOU DIE!"

DUN

FREAKING DUN!

"...KAAAY! LETS GO!" Clive jumped up in the air, but fell to the ground because he only had one leg, he ate his other leg and foot like five seconds ago.

Meanwhile with the Profes- OKAY. WAIT JUST A MOMENT. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EAT YOUR OWN LEG!

"Is that even a question...?" Clive said, his other leg in his mouth, preparing to eat that one too.

Fuck it. You'll be okay by the next scene change...WITH THE PROFESSAH...

"Professah, where the bloody hell are we going to find Flora?" Said a very confused Luke, "No, Luke, her name is not Flora anymore, as of now, we are to call her Terma-bitch."

"Don't you mean Terminator-"

"I SAID WE'RE CALLING HER FUCKING TERMABITCH!"

"Okay...geez..."

"TRUE GENTLEMANS DON'T SAY GEEEZZZZ! THAT SOUNDS INCREDIBLY HOMOSEX-"

The Laytonmobile crashed into a wall.

"Well shit my sticks, Professah!"

"Not to worry Luke, for I have the proper tools to repair the Gaytonmobi- HOLY SHIT!"

Suddenly out of no where, Flora-

"TERMABITCH"

Ugh...Suddenlyoutofnowhere TERMABITCH appeared with half of her face sliced off and a VERY angry expression on her face, "DESTROY. DESTROY.!" Flora-

"TERMABITCH..."

...TERMABITCH grabbed Luke by the neck and attempted to strangle him!

"PROFESSAH-*cough*- HELP ME! 'OI CAN'T BREEEEAATH!" Luke said, being shanked as he was strangle by Termabitch's many tentacles growing out of her back.

"And let a wasted opportunity to see you perish just go down the drain? HELL NO! GO TO BLOODY HELL!" Layton said, repairing the Laytonmobile.

"GOGO-GADGET CIRCULAR SAW!" said Termabitch, one of her tentacles growing a circular saw that almost SLICED LUKE IN HALF! "AAAAAAAAAH! Wait! I know the safest place to go to for...SAFETY!"

Luke ran to the abandoned warehouse with possibly deadly machinery...

"GOGO GADGET, MULTIPLE STEAK KNIVES!" Termabitch said, a bunch of steak knives shooting out of her, in response, Luke ran out of the warehouse before any real plot could be established.

Meanwhile...

"WOOOOOOOOOOO! 666TH PLACE! I'm going to WIN MY FREEDOM!" Clive said, stroking his pussy lightl- OH MY GOD HIS CAR SMACKED INTO LUKE! Luke suddenly flew in the air and landed in Clive's car! "WOT TEH BLOODEH 'ELL ARR YOU DOIN' HERE?" Clive shouted, not noticing Termabitch was running after them with springy legs and a constant speed, "FLORA'S-"

"ELLO MATES!." Layton said, suddenly appearing in the car because 'repairing' the Homosexualmobile wasn't nearly as fun as a terminator parody, "GOGO GADGET, DISCO BALLS!" Termabitch said, unleashing a wave of disco balls at Clive's car! "As I was saying, SHE'S GONE INSANE FROM SKYNET COMPUTING! DODGE THOSE BALLS!"

"I'M TRYING! MY PUSSY IS .JUST. SOOOO SUCCULEEEENT!" Clive said, being pelted by a few disco balls, "Hey guys! Wanna see what I can do with my pussy?"

"CLIVE! THE ROAD!"

"MEEEOWWW!"

DUN

DUN!

Clive's racing car CRASHED INTO THE WALL! Termabitch was nearing towards them and Clive had to start the car or else be eaten alive! "St-start the car Clive!" Layton said, his hat over his frowning face, "NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE FOR CALLING ME FUCKED UP IN COURT IN THE LAST STOR-"

"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY GET AWAY FROM THAT BITCH!" Clive finally obeyed Layton's apologies and started the car in reverse!

"Wait! Clive! YOUR GOING TO RUN OVER TERMABITCH!" Luke was right, Clive ran over Termabitch whlie in reverse as she flew 10 ft away! Clive suddenly drove in forward direction, running over Termabitch again! "Wait, Clive! You gotta remember! That is STILL Flora and DEEP INSIDE, I know she's still ther-"

"DESTROY!" Termabitch suddenly appeared in front of the windshield of Clive's car! "RAM THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Luke shouted as Clive ran over her again, Termabitch flew into the aforementioned abandoned warehouse, creating a gigantic hole that Clive's car drove into.

"Why did you take us even closer to the robot that's trying to KILL US!" Luke shouted again, "MY GOD! YOU SHOUT TOO MUCH! and, WHO'S THE ONE DRIVING HERE WISE GUY!" Clive said, all three of them getting out of the car, making the previous sentence obsolete, "Luke, my ass, can you find Termabitch in here?" Layton said, cronicly masturbating as his head bobbed up and down.

Luke looked around the warehouse, but Termabitch was nowhere to be foun-

"GOGO GADGET INTERRUPT AUTHOR'S SENTENCE!"

Fuck my life...

" 'OLY SHIT! IT'S TERMABITCH!" Luke shouted...AGAIN! Clive and Layton heard this information and all three of them dodged Termabitch's flying rutabagas as they climbed a staircase over a lava pool! "GOGO GADGET, BOMBS! BUT ONLY IF YOU HAVE ENOUGH RUPEES!" Termabitch said, LITERALLY FLOODING THE ENTIRE WAREHOUSE WITH LAVA USING THE BOMBS! One of the staircases support beams cracked and it was forced to dangle at a diagonal direction, the entire warehouse was flooded with lava except for the few ft of stairs that we're barely floating above FIVE INCHES of lava!...Ooh! And a PANCAKE FLAT THINGY-MACHINE!

"Quickly everyone! Head to that machine!" Layton said, wearing no clothes and still chronically masturbating, "BUT PROFESSAH! IT'S A LONG JUMP FROM THE STAIRS TO TEH MACHINE! WE WON'T MAKE IT!" Clive shouted, AGAI- wait no that was Luke's running gag... "Follow my lead!" Layton grabbed run of the chains that dangled beyond the end of the staircase, and used it to swing over to the machine! Luke and Clive followed this example, except Luke got his ass singed in the lava once or twice...

"GOGO GADGET EXODUS!" Termabitch said as a small path was created by separating the lava into two separate bodies of liquid! Termabitch walked in between the separated lava, her Flora-like face and body completely melted off to reveal a complete Terminator appearance, "Destroy..." Termabitch said as she climbed up the machine.

Clive and Luke had just finished having delicious mansex as his pussy watched, at that moment, Layton got an idea! "Quickly boys! Climb in between the tiny crawl space in the flattening machine! Both boys listened, everyone was now naked in some way or the other was all three of them crawled to the other side of the machine! Termabitch crawled too to follow them, but the other half of Layton's idea was about to be revealed!

Layton's hand suddenly grasped the lever, as his other was touching his cock, Layton pulled the lever downwards and the flattening machine was activated!

"Woah Professah!" said Luke as Termabitch was being flattened to death by the machine!

"GOGO GADGET-GADGET DISC- DISCO DIS-CO SPPPOON SPPOPN-SPOON" Termabitch said as her voicing was getting lower and lower, the flattening machine raised itself as a destroyed Termabitch laid before everyone's eyes.

...

"DESTROY!"

" 'OLY SHIT IT'S NOT DEAD YET!" Luke said, running to Layton's cock and gladly sucking it! Layton put a hand on Clive's shoulder, he knew what he had to do, "Throw your pussy in there, Clive, it's the only way..."

Clive looked up at Layton, his leg in his mouth..AGAIN! "But...my pussy...what..will happen to it!"

"JUST THROW IT!"

"OKAY!" Clive said, crying dramatically as he threw his pussy at Termabitch, "MEEEEEEEEOWWW!" Clive's pussy said it's last words as it slammed into the flattened Termabitch, pushing both of them into the lava, drowning them...

"NOO!" Clive kneeled down and said, still chewing on his leg.

"Let's go home!" A cheery Layton and Luke said in unison, "SHUT UP!"...said a mad Clive...

And everyone lived happily ever after...

Except Clive went back to the Mental Nuthouse while Layton and Luke went back to the office...

"Oh well...I can still have fun with my cock!" Clive said as he stroked his cock lightly, "COCKADOODLEDOO!" said his cock in response, "I know right? Socks are DELICIOUS!"

The End...

Or it would have been if both Termabitch's and Jean Descole's hands weren't reaching out of the lava!

The End...?

But yeah, they lost their grip and fell back into the lava...

The End...

BUT THEN THEIR HANDS REACHED OUT OF THE LAVA AGAIN! OH NOES!

The End...?

But then they lost grip again...

The End...

As the story ended, Stachenscarfen suddenly appeared in a black void of emptiness, "Hello everyone, the people and I over at NovelleX HQ know that harming animals is wrong, and we just like you to know that no Don Paolo Cow's were hurt in the making of this story...kekekekkeke..."

"MOOOO!"

Translation: COW AGREES WITH FAT ASS OVER HERE!

"Now for something funny as you click the review button, we will now prematurely drop the curtain on this Italian Opera Singer"

SCENE CHANGE

"VITAGRO VITAMAME VITAMAGRO VITA- Aww..." The Opera singer said at the curtain dropped...

REVIEW! Pleeease...or I'll murder you...and no, I'm not just being cute or funny here...

I. WILL. MURDER. YOU. AND. EVERYTHING. YOU. LOVE.

So review, okay? :D