Insight

by kjt1

Josh has an accident at work - will it change his life forever? (JD) Part 7 posted - fic complete.

1. Part 1

Title:  Insight

Rating: PG

Spoilers:  S4 onwards, but only because Will is in it.

Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, much as I wish.

A/N:  K, this deals with some medical issues (don't worry, no major angst).  I'm not a doctor, so I apologize if I've got anything wrong – I did as much research as I could via the lovely internet but it, and me, don't know everything.  Also, the reason this is so long is because it's mostly dialogue based.  For some reason, every time I try to write something descriptive, dialogue always ends up sneaking in there so, I've given up and gone with the flow. g

Archive:  Sure, but ask first, also at the new Yahoo J/D group 'Impervious'

Feedback:  Always appreciated

***

Part 1

**

"Donna, can you bring me the –"

"Josh?  What do you need?" Donna yelled back, finally getting up and crossing to his door when he didn't reply.  "Josh?" she called again, moving into his doorway.  "Josh!"

She found him lying on the floor beside his desk, barely conscious.

"Josh, are you okay?" she asked in panic.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay," he mumbled.

"What happened?"

Josh was still lying on the floor, with one hand over his face and he took a moment before replying.

"I dunno; I guess I must have slipped or something."

Donna looked around the office.

"Oh, Josh, it's no wonder I don't bring you coffee; all you do is slop it around the place.  You must have spilt some on the floor and then slipped on it."

"Oh, yeah, that sounds about right," he admitted sheepishly.

"You ready to stand up?" she prompted.

"Actually, no."

"No?  Josh, are you okay?"

He didn't look hurt, but he was screwing his face up.

"Donna, what time is it?"

She checked her watch.

"It's after 10, why?"

"So, there's not many people around then?"

"No, I think we're the only ones still here apart from Security; it's Saturday night after all."

"Good."

"What's good about that?  It's after 10 on a Saturday night and we're in the office; that's not good, I mean –"

"Donna," Josh interrupted.  "I can't see."

"What?  You can't see what's wrong with still being at work.  Honestly, Josh, do you have no idea of what a social life is?"

"No, Donna," he said with urgency, "I can't *see*.  I've opened my eyes, but I can't see anything.  My eyes are open, right?"

There was fear in his voice and Donna looked at him carefully, wondering if he was messing with her, but knowing that he wouldn't do that.

"Your eyes are open, Josh.  You're… you're serious, aren't you?" she asked, trying to stop her voice from cracking.

"Yeah, I am."

"I'll call the paramedics."

"No!" he yelled to stop her.  "No," he repeated more quietly.  "That'll attract too much attention.  Can you take me to the hospital?  Please?"

"Josh, I… you need urgent medical attention."

"I know, but not here, Donna, please.  Look, just help me stand up, we'll get our coats and you can drive me to the hospital.  People will just think you're driving me home after a long day."

"I don't know about this, Josh," she said warily.

"Donna, please," he pleaded.

"Okay, here, I'm gonna help you up."

She placed a hand behind his back and helped him to first sit up and then stand up.

"Wait here for a sec while I get my coat and then I'll help you with yours."

"Okay."

She returned a moment later and Josh felt her put the coat over his shoulders and held his arms out so she could slip it on properly.

"Slip your hand through my arm, Josh," she instructed.  "It'll make it easier to get to my car."

"My car," he corrected.  "We'll take mine."

"Okay."

*

Thanks to Josh's complete faith and trust in Donna, it didn't take too long to reach his car and Donna drove straight to George Washington hospital.  She guided Josh into the Emergency Room and talked to the receptionist.

"Hi, my boss, Josh Lyman, needs to see a doctor right away."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but there's a wait for the doctor; we have a triage system in operation though, so let me take some details."

"Look, you don't understand," Donna started.  "I don't like playing the VIP card, but I have to.  This," she paused and pointed to Josh, who was leaning on the counter beside her, "is Josh Lyman, White House Deputy Chief of Staff and he's had an accident.  He needs to see a doctor urgently and it needs to be confidential; people can't know he's here."

The receptionist looked from Donna to Josh and back again.

"Ma'am, I recognize him, but he doesn't look that hurt, so he'll still need to go through triage.  Why don't you both take a seat, fill in these forms and I'll get the triage nurse to see you."

"But –"

Donna's argument was cut off when the receptionist passed her a clipboard and turned away.

"Do you want me to get into this?" Josh offered.

"I don't think you shouting will help much, do you?"

"No, but it'll make me feel better."

"Let's just sit down, Josh," she suggested with a chuckle, taking his hand to lead him to the chairs.

As expected on a Saturday night, the emergency room was busy and Donna groaned when she saw looks of recognition appearing on people's faces when they saw Josh sit down.  She hurriedly filled in the forms and attached the photocopy of his insurance details that she always carried.

"Josh, stay here for a second, I'm just gonna hand the forms in, okay?"

"Okay."

She walked back to the counter and handed the clipboard to the receptionist.

"How long before the triage nurse is available?"

"It won't be long."

"Okay, but please, tell the nurse not to call Josh's name out; just come and get us, it'll be easier that way."

"I'll see what I can do," the receptionist promised, softening with the worry in Donna's voice.

Donna sat back down beside Josh.

"I'm back; you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he replied, but Donna could sense the fear in his voice.

"The triage nurse will be here in a minute and then we'll get a doctor to see you, okay?  I'm gonna play the White House card again if I need to, get you bumped up the list."

"Good, I don't think it's a good idea for me to be sitting here like this."

"I know," she agreed.

"Mr Lyman, do you want to come with me?" a female nurse with a kind face said quietly a few minutes later.

Donna nodded and stood up, taking Josh's hand.  They followed the nurse to a cubicle and Donna settled Josh into a chair before explaining what had happened.

"Josh, I'll be right outside, okay?"

"No, Donna, stay.  She can stay, right?" he asked the nurse.

"If that's what you want, yes."

"Yeah, that's what I want," Josh confirmed, knowing he'd feel more comfortable, and less vulnerable, if Donna was there.

"Okay, Josh, I'm in a chair just next to you," Donna said.

The nurse asked Josh to tell her exactly what had happened in the office.

"All I remember is getting up from my chair and yelling for Donna to bring me something; the next thing I knew, I was on the floor."

"You don't remember how you fell?"

"No, but according to Donna, there was probably coffee involved," he grinned, getting some of his humor back.

Donna explained about the mess on the floor and the nurse nodded.

"Okay, Mr Lyman, do you remember hitting your head when you fell?"

"Call me Josh.  And, yeah, I think I must have hit my head; it sure hurts like hell."

"Okay, I'm just gonna have a look at your head, Josh."

He nodded slowly and then cringed as the nurse's hands came into contact with his head.

"Alright, you have a large contusion on your head, so I think it's a safe bet that you hit your head."

"Is that what's causing the blindness?" Donna asked.

"It's possible," the nurse replied, "but I think we should let the doctor decide that.  I think I'm gonna move you to another room so that the doctor can do an eye exam, okay?"

"Okay," Josh agreed, waiting for Donna to take his hand and help him up.

The nurse led them to another room and told them she'd get a doctor through as soon as possible.

"Josh, you okay?" Donna asked while they waited.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Scared?"

"A little," he admitted.

"Hey, do you want me to call Leo?"

"What?  No, not yet; let's see what the doctor says first, okay?"

"Okay."

They lapsed into silence for a while, each with worrying thoughts running through their minds.

"Mr Lyman?  I'm Dr Johnson.  I believe you have a problem with your eyes."

"Well, I can't see so, yeah, I'd say I have a problem," Josh said dryly.

"Josh," Donna warned.

"Sorry."  He turned his attention to the direction in which he'd heard the doctor's voice come from.  "Is it okay if Donna stays while you do this?" he asked, his voice low to hide the tremble it held.

"That's fine," the doctor replied, smiling at Donna.  "This isn't going to hurt as such, but it might sting a little while I apply some solution; I'm going to check without it first though, okay?"

"Okay," Josh agreed.

Donna watched while the doctor performed the eye exam, though she couldn't see much in the darkened room.  The doctor talked to Josh all the way through, telling him what he was about to do and why, but he didn't answer when Josh asked him what the tests were telling him; instead, he just moved on to the next tests.

"Alright, Mr Lyman, you have what we call –"

"Put it in layman's terms please," Josh interrupted to request.  "I wanna know what's wrong, not be confused by doctor speak."  His tone held merely a trace of humor.

"Okay, well, to put it simply, you're suffering from blindness."

"And you're gonna charge my insurance how much for that diagnosis?" Josh said dryly.

"I'm sorry, Mr Lyman, but there's no other way to say it."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry," Josh said seriously before Donna could chastise him.  "Is it… How long will it last?" he finally asked, not able to say the word 'permanent'.

"I can't answer that, Mr Lyman."

"Call me Josh, please.  What do you mean you can't answer that?"

"I can't answer because I honestly don't know, Josh."  The doctor looked at Donna while he continued, "It could be a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks."

"Or a few months?" Donna asked in a whisper; Josh heard her though and his body visibly tensed.

"I don't know," the doctor said solemnly.  "I would say that it's highly unlikely it'll be permanent though, but there are no guarantees."

"Is there anything I can do?  Hit my head again, like they do in the movies?" Josh asked, trying to be funny, but sounding more desperate.

"You just have to wait, I'm sorry."

"Aren't there more tests you can do, to see how serious it is?" Donna asked.

"No," the doctor shook his head.  "All the tests I did were negative for damage to the eyes.  It's likely that your brain took a knock when you fell, Josh, and now it needs time to recover."

"Well, at least that means you *have* a brain, Josh," Donna quipped in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

"Funny, Donna," Josh said half-heartedly, his body slumped in the chair.

"You must have really hit your head hard when you fell, Josh.  The contusion on the back of your head is big and deep and it's obviously affected the occipital lobe to cause the transient cortical blindness.  The brain has an amazing way of healing itself, but it does it in its own time.  You were knocked out for a few moments when you fell?" he asked, consulting the notes again.

"Yes," Josh confirmed, "I think I was."

"He was barely conscious when I found him," Donna added.

"Okay, well, we can probably add concussion to the list.  We're going to need to keep you in overnight, Josh, so that we can monitor you; it's standard for all head traumas."

"I can't," Josh said firmly.

"Josh, you have to," Donna pointed out just as firmly.

"Donna, I can't spend the night in hospital.  How would we explain it to the press?"

"By telling the truth; you had an accident."

"I can't let them know about this," Josh argued.  "They can't know I'm blind."

"You might not be blind tomorrow, Josh," Donna said hopefully.

"But then again, I might be and, knowing my luck, I *will* be," he said with a resigned sigh.

"Either way, you have to stay here tonight, Josh.  You don't have an option anyway, I'm not taking you home like this."

"Donna," he almost whined.

"Josh, I mean it, please stay here tonight."

Her voice was filled with such worry that Josh finally nodded his agreement.

"You'd better call Leo… and CJ," he said.

"I will."

"Okay, I'm going to arrange a bed for you, Josh," the doctor said.  "We'll get you moved as soon as possible."

"Thanks," Josh said as the doctor left the room.

"I can't use a cellphone in here, Josh, so I'll call Leo when they move you, okay?" Donna said softly.

Josh said nothing for a few moments and then, "What am I going to do, Donna?"

His voice held such fear that Donna thought her heart was going to break.  Josh was a fighter and it frightened her to hear his anxiety about his situation.

"You're going to be okay, Josh," she said with more confidence than she felt.

*

As soon as the orderly came to move Josh to his room, Donna made her way outside to call Leo.

"McGarry," a slightly gruff voice answered. Donna checked her watch and realized it was nearly midnight.  "Leo, it's Donna Moss.  I'm sorry to call so late, but –"

"What's wrong?" Leo asked immediately.  "What's happened?"

"Uh… I… " she stammered.  "Josh has had an accident."

"What kind of accident?  Is he hurt?" he asked when Donna didn't continue.

"Yeah, I mean, he's okay," she said quickly, trying not to alarm Leo.  "He… He slipped in his office and hit his head."

"Is he alright?" he asked with concern, biting back the urge to ask if it had knocked any sense into him.

"He's okay," she repeated, but her tone was lack-luster.

"I sense a but coming."

"He… he…" she stammered again, trying to stop the sobs that were in the back of her throat.

"Donna?" Leo prompted softly.

"He can't see, Leo."

"What?  What do you mean?  Donna?"

"The doctor said it's a result of the head injury and it's most likely temporary, but they don't know how temporary."

"Where is he?"

"GW.  They're keeping him in overnight for observation."

"You're there now?"

"Yes."

"I'm on my way."

"Leo, you don't –"

"I'm on my way, Donna."

"Thanks, Leo," she sighed gratefully.  "I'll call CJ," she added.

"No, I'll do it, once I've seen him."

"Okay, I'll see you when you get here."

*

"Josh, I'm just gonna go get some coffee, okay?" Donna said as she spotted Leo standing outside the door.

"You're just doing that to annoy me, aren't you?" he grinned.

"No, I'm doing it because it's really late and I need something to keep me awake; the fact that it'll annoy you is just an added bonus."

"How late is it?" Josh asked.  "We left the office around ten, but I have no idea what time it is now."

"It's nearly 12:30," she replied honestly, having been tempted to lie since she knew what Josh's reaction would be.

"God, Donna, I'm sorry, I didn't realize.  Look, you should go."

"No, I'm gonna wait for Leo.  I'm gonna grab a coffee though, I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay," he reluctantly agreed.

*

"Hi, Leo," Donna said softly as she pulled the door to Josh's room closed behind her.

"Donna, how are you?" Leo asked seriously, studying her tired and worried face.

"I'm okay," she lied.

"How's he?" he inquired, nodding towards Josh, who was just visible through the glass panel in the door.

Donna looked through the glass at her boss and friend.

"Scared," she answered honestly, "but trying to put a brave face on it."

"Why am I not surprised?" he asked rhetorically.

"Go on in, Leo, I told him you were coming."

"You're not coming back in?"

"I'll be back in a minute, but I figured you'd want to see him alone first."

"Donna, it's fine."

"No, it's okay, I said I was gonna get some coffee anyway.  I'll just be a minute though, the coffee machine is right there."

Leo nodded and opened the door as Donna walked away.

"Donna?" Josh asked from his bed.

"No, it's Leo."

"Hi, Leo," Josh said with forced cheerfulness.

"How are you doing, Josh?" Leo questioned as he sat down and patted the bed to let Josh know he was sitting beside it.

"I'm just dandy," he replied sarcastically, immediately regretting his tone.  "I'm sorry, Leo, it's just –"

"It's okay, Josh, I understand.  So, how did this happen?"

Josh was silent for a long moment, trying to keep his emotions under control.  Leo waited patiently for him to answer, silently willing strength into the younger man.

"I don't really remember, but Donna's theory is that it had something to do with coffee."

"Coffee?"

"He spilled it, *again*," Donna explained as she re-entered the room and handed Leo a cup of coffee before taking a seat next to him.  "This time, he spilled it on the floor, rather than over the files on his desk and I think he must have slipped on it."

"Ah."

"Hey, she only *thinks* that's what I did," Josh defended.  "She has no proof."

"Do you have a better explanation?" Donna asked pointedly.

"No," he admitted sheepishly.  "But, you know, stop picking on me; don't you think I'm suffering enough?"  He had meant it as a joke, but he could tell from Donna's silence that his words had affected her.  "I'm okay, Donna," he assured softly.

"I know," she replied just as softly.  "Don't think being injured means I'm gonna go easy on you though, Josh," she added with a laugh, trying to lighten the atmosphere as she caught the look in Leo's eyes.

"I didn't for a second think you would," Josh commented.

"So, what did the doctor say?" Leo asked.

"Oh, you haven't discussed it already?" Donna said with surprise.  "I'll g—"

"Stay, Donna," both Leo and Josh said; she smiled at them both, even though Josh couldn't see her.

"The doctor basically said that he doesn't know how long I'll be like this, only that he's pretty sure it's not gonna be permanent."

"Is there anything they can do for you?"

"No, I just have to wait."

"You have to wait?  That'll be interesting," Leo said sarcastically.

"I can be patient."

Donna snorted with laughter at his comment and Leo chuckled along with her, earning them both a wounded sigh from Josh.

"They're just keeping you in overnight?"

"Yeah, and that's only because I have a head injury.  I'll be out first thing tomorrow morning," Josh said resolutely.

"You'll get out when you're ready, Josh," Donna said firmly, forgetting for a moment that Leo was there; she'd never have spoken to Josh in that way otherwise.

"Before you argue, Josh, Donna is right; you'll get out of here when you're ready and not before."

"Leo, I'm –"

"Josh, this isn't up for discussion."

"Alright, but I'm only agreeing because I know they'll let me home tomorrow anyway."

Both Leo and Donna let the comment pass, sharing a glance with each other and rolling their eyes.

"Donna, can you collect him tomorrow?" Leo asked.

"Yes, of course," Donna smiled.

"Good.  Don't bother coming into the office first, you'll need a lie in anyway."

"Thanks, Leo."

"How did you get here tonight?  I assume you didn't call the paramedics or I would have been informed."

"We drove," Josh answered.

"Okay.  Donna, I'll take you home," Leo said.

"But, Josh's car is here."

"And it'll still be here when you come back.  It's too late for you to drive, Donna, I'll make sure you get home and then you can get a cab here tomorrow."

"But –"

"Do it, Donna," Josh said firmly.

"Alright," she agreed.

"I called CJ, by the way," Leo told them both.  "I was gonna wait until I'd seen you, but I thought I'd better give her an early heads-up."

"You think this is gonna become a thing?"

"Of course it's gonna become a thing, Josh.  The Deputy Chief of Staff has an accident in his office and is blinded; yeah, it's gonna become a thing," Leo replied dryly.

"It'll only become a thing if people know about it," Josh pointed out.

"Josh, something like this is bound to be leaked and anyway, the press will want to know why you're not at work tomorrow, since you always work Sundays, even if only for an hour or so" Leo commented.

"But, I'll be at work tomorrow."

"No, you won't and, if you were, you don't think they'd realize that you can't see?"

"You have a point, but I'll be there," Josh said adamantly.

"Josh, get some sleep," Leo ordered.  "Donna, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," she nodded.  "Josh, is there anything you need?" she asked gently.

"Well, being able to see would be a start," he replied automatically.

"Josh."

"No, I'm fine, Donna," he said apologetically.  "Go home and get some sleep."

"Okay, bye, Josh."

"Bye, Josh," Leo echoed.

"Donna?" Josh called as they were at the door.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks… I appreciate your help tonight."

"Leo, you heard that, right?" Donna laughed.  "You can be my witness that Josh *does* know how to say thank you after all."

"Hey!" Josh said in a mock-wounded tone.

"Goodbye, Josh," Leo said firmly as a way of preventing yet another Josh and Donna argument.  He opened the door and allowed Donna to pass before following her out.

**

TBC…