Hello, hello! Long time, no see. Looks like my schedule is finally settling down, so I can post some new works. Enjoy this little one-shot about my favorite man in green!
So, I was bored and had nothing else to do between my next match, and I was headed for the gym when he showed up. The green stache with the "L" on his cap, thinking he's everything just because he sucked up spooks with a vacuum and glared at people during a kart race. God, he made me want to puke. It was time to remind him of the pecking order around here. Swifter than a cheetah, I had him trapped between me and the hard wall.
"And just where do you think you're going?" I growled in his ear.
You won't believe what he did next—he gave me this nasty look and said, "Where do you think I'm going? To the gym, idiot."
"Only the cool guys are allowed in there," I shot back. "They won't stand to share a room with losers like you."
That was when he shoved me away from him and snapped, "I'll go where I want, thank you very much. I could care less about what you think!"
I'll have you know that if someone who dared treat me like that faced an immediate, harsh punishment. I seized him in a strong grip and once again crushed our bodies together. "Did you just mouth off to me?"
"What are you going to do about it?" he retorted, struggling against me. "You don't own me!"
"Well, I guess you've forgotten," I spat. "You're living under my terms, whether you like it or not."
His voice was level. "Not anymore." And then his fist splattered against my face.
That did it!
"Why, you little…!" I lunged at him.
Luigi didn't even scream or run for his life. He lifted me off the ground mid-lunge, hurled me back to the earth and then Ground-Pounded me. As my senses swirled, he went on the attack, doing a whole bunch of kung-fu numbers on various body parts. Then, he picked me up, rammed me into the wall and jabbed me repeatedly until I didn't know which way was up. From there, he spun in place, battering me like an F-5 tornado, before rearing back and doing a head-butt, knocking me down.
I had no desire to take a beating right before I was scheduled to fight somebody, so I picked myself up and tried to hightail it out of there. Unfortunately, Luigi wasn't finished with me. He tripped me with a low kick and started spearing his open hand at me. I managed to shake him off, but then he stood up and shot green fireballs at me. Suddenly, he crouched down, charging himself, and as I struggled to get away, he propelled himself straight into my back. I lay in a heap, howling in agony.
Jerking me up, he battered me with overhand punch attacks and rammed his open hand into my throat. He let me wheeze a bit before winding up and blinding my senses with a powerful uppercut. I crashed back onto the ground, unable to move or think. Then, Luigi was beside me, gasping for breath, cheeks rosy, a small smile on his lips.
"It was very nice seeing you, my friend," he said genially. "Enjoy the rest of your day, yes?" And then he was gone.
That was the last time I ever approached him.
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