"I love you"
After the initial tidal wave of shock, Dean fights with himself to keep any reaction he may have at those words in, be it hate, rage, or hope.
"No you don't." Dean doesn't move his hands away from the gun he was cleaning, but he doesn't continue to clean it, stuck in this moment until Castiel lets him leave. Until he makes Castiel realize that whatever he's feeling right now—camaraderie, friendship, the emptiness left by his brothers that just has to be filled somehow—it's not love.
Castiel's smiles a little. A smile that Dean has never seen before, one that looks to be glowing from the inside full of all those positive emotions that Cas is not feeling, because he is an angel and angels don't feel.
"Yes I do."
Dean heaves a sigh, knowing it wouldn't be that easy but still hoping it would be; "whatever you think you're feeling, its not 'love'. Angels don't even feel."
"We do, Dean. And I love you."
Dean put his gun down rougher than he intended. Today was a horrible day, all he wanted was a beer and his brother to stop sucking a demon, and maybe to get some sleep if God would be so kind, but no, he gets an angel who's having an identity crisis and thinks he's in love.
"Stop saying that." Dean bites out, wanting this to be over.
Cas is so fucking earnest "But it is true, it will not change whether I say it or not. I lov-"
"Well I don't, ok!" Dean didn't want to say that. Not like that, at least, but what was done was done. He could see Cas visibly deflate, lose whatever delusion that was giving him the push to spout this nonsense.
Dean heaved a sigh, consciously softening his voice, trying to undo some of the damage; "look, Cas, you're awesome, and you've really got a handle on this human thing, but you're an angel. And angels don't feel stuff like humans do, especially not—that. Ok? So… so just drop it."
"I cannot imagine that any person would know how another feels, Dean." Castiel lifts his eyes, catching Dean's gaze and keeping him there, "but, as you wish."
And then he walks away.
Walks out of the room.
Uses the door.
Dean can still hear his footsteps out in the hall.
Dean knows what it means, but he refuses to take back his words.
He was right. Angels can't love, even those that are now human.
ahahaha what am I even doing? I try to write something happy, and this is what comes out. I'm predisposed to sad endings I guess...
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