Take It In
Roocersoc
... His body was floating... passing as a mist through the dense wood. Trees glistened with snow as the moon shone down on them. The air was cool... yet he felt on fire… pleasantly so. He wanted to feel it forever…
A voice suddenly called from behind him, whipping his head around he saw a beautiful woman with flowing blonde hair... The woman of his dreams, owner of his soul…
His life.
Reaching for her he pulled her warm body close. Every brush of her skin on his lit him aflame once again. Tilting his head down to brush her forehead with his lips she hummed quietly in her lovely voice.
Trailing his lips down her neck she sighed and bent her head back. He longed to feel her; touch her lips, her hands, the back of her legs… everywhere was appealing to him…
He slowly bent her back, fingers sliding across smooth skin and he clutched to her as if they were falling…
He felt jittery tonight; waking up in a sweat with a numb tingle coursing through his reddish skin, further deepened by the fire crackling in the hearth. His eyes followed each and every flame that twisted into the cool night air. Closing his eyes he inhaled heavily the fumes of the fire; his chest trembled with his exhalation.
He had the dream again; the same one for the past five years.
Opening his eyes once again he felt burning swell behind them. Snapping his body upright he stood and rushed to the door, energy pumped through him. The feeling of wanting. Of needing to run, get away.
"You always do this when you cannot take something, cannot deny it…"
He tore out the door and through the trees, slipping once on the wet snow. His legs could carry him, faster than most Fauns, but he needed to run faster. Quicker.
His body was exhausted now, energy long gone and skin rubbed raw by the harsh winds, but he had reached his destination. Ahead lay a small clearing; no trees grew here, peace and silence for miles. In the center of the clearing, was a slender iron pole with a small flame flickering in its protective casing. Chest heaving, he looked around, and his heart sunk; nothing was here. There never was.
Not anymore.
His knees hit the cold snow, the hard dirt, they ached but he did not care. He felt like a fool. Hope had risen so high for him to believe that there would finally be something here for him, a sign, anything.
Nothing.
Fists collided with the frozen earth. His heart rose with anger, anger at himself. Angry at what Fate had denied him his entire life. His fists crashed into the icy ground until his fingers and knuckles cried with protest. Breathing heavily he slowed his self-mutilation to look at his broken and torn hands. Blood seeped from the knuckles while scraps marred the flesh of his palms. She would be shocked at what has become of her gentle friend.
"Oh…what have you done to me?"
It spilled over. His chest heaved and his shoulders racked with his sobs. Tears slipped down his cheekbones and onto the ground. Truth had caught him, forcing him to take it in, and he was too tired to fight it off anymore.
Memories he kept safe in his heart flew through his mind; her smile, her laugh, when she would come up behind him and scare him witless. Her eyes brightening by the simplest pleasures...
He wished he could see Her again… longed turn back time and make things right. Gain the courage to finally tell Her what he had felt for so long. Give himself the chance to be happy, to make Her happy. Let her rule his world just as she had ruled Narnia. His Queen...
"Oh Lucy," he whispered sorrowfully into the cold night air; they hung mercilessly as the vibrations echoed in his mind.
His eyes ached; tears slid down and burned the wounds on his hands. He winced slightly; the sight of the damaged flesh brought down by his own rage and sorrow only made him ill. If only she was here… she would smile, smile at him… kiss his hands that burned with his tears, heal the wounds on his heart. Dry the tears he shed... for her.
She was not here to, however...she was gone.
…never to return… and he finally knew that…
…but he will never believe it.
"I couldn't..."
"I'm happy to have met you...Mr. Tumnus..."
Take It In: End
A/N: Because we do not have enough angst here. No, I have not abandoned Entrancement, but I saw someone wanted an angst, so, here you are. I based most of it off of the movie, and as you can see I butchered the last quote because I cannot remember it. I think it is from a different movie though. Before I get flamed for anything remotely related to this, I would like to say to the Tumnus police, remember please, Tumnus has emotions too, and he is known for breaking down and crying. But I feel this is what would happen if had deluded himself after Lucy left.
Disclaimer: C.S. Lewis owns the characters portrayed in this fanfiction. And everything else.