It never occurred to Castiel to not tell Dean his feelings, once he finally figured it out, saw that the feelings he had for the hunter eclipsed those he felt for his brethren, and maybe even god. When in heaven, Castiel was surrounded by love; no angel hid their love for another, for their love was their greatest strength.

It was only on earth he saw it could also be his greatest weakness.

He had seen humans vie for a lover's attentions, but never come out and tell the person; it all seemed so pointless and, frankly, served as endless amusement for Castiel to see humans dance around one another. Their miscommunications were always a light in Castiel's already bright, endless days.

The Cupids never liked him for it. Although they passed it off as a condition of being a warrior and left him his peace, continuing to love him despite his faults, seeing it as a marker of Castiel's youth.

But it wasn't out of malevolence that human woes entertained him so, it was how foreign the notion was. Surrounded by love and caring as he was, the very thought of hiding one's love from another was simply foolish. But when the humans finally communicated their feelings and all fell into place, Castiel was the angel laughing with the humans as they saw that the only thing keeping them apart was themselves.

And so, not telling Dean would have been very foolish and hypocritical indeed. When the words left his lips, Castiel had felt lighter, felt closer to truly flying than he had in weeks as his grace had slowly left him. Confirming it for Dean only allowed him to say it more, and with each passing of those words, his heart grew lighter.

Dean was such a beautiful soul. Castiel truly was privileged to know him, to have saved him, and to love him.

"Well I don't, ok!" Castiel froze.

Oh.

Perhaps the humans he had laughed at for millennia were not the children he thought them to be. Perhaps they were infinitely wise, if they knew to protect themselves from this type of pain.

Castiel had never known rejection. He always held his heart open to others, his soul bare, and never before had it been cast away. Castiel did not understand how to react to this human condition. This would have never happened in heaven. You are not in heaven he scolded himself. He was far, far from heaven. But so close to the brightest light, his own morning star.

Dean was speaking, "look, Cas, you're awesome, and you've really got a handle on this human thing, but you're an angel. And angels don't feel stuff like humans do, especially not—that. Ok? So… so just drop it."

For a moment, Castiel wished he could. Wish he could cast out the love he had for this human, for this human's brother, for this earth they were all fighting so hard to save. But no, his love was still there, burning brightly and urging him onward. Onward to what, he did not know.

"I cannot imagine that any person would know how another feels, Dean." Angels knew love, they knew love better than any other beings, angels loved wholeheartedly, never holding anything back. And Castiel may no longer be an angel, and he may not yet be human, but whatever he was, he knew of love. And sadness, and anger, and joy, and every other emotion under the guidance of God.

He knew love, and he knew the only thing he could truly do for Dean at this moment, "but as you wish." He said, catching Dean's impossibly green eyes for a moment before walking out of the room.

He opens the door.

Goes down the hall.

Leaves the building.

Dean really does have the most beautiful soul.

and here's the other side of the coin. still trying to get that happy ending thing going, but it may be that I am doomed to failure

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