A/N: This is a short one-shot I wrote about Katniss Everdeen. Please read this and think carefully about whose point of view it is from, I want to know your opinion!
I Remember
I look at her and remember and wonder, just wonder what is happening, just wonder what is going on in that head of hers. I will never know what has gone on in that head of Katniss Everdeen's or what still goes on, what she is thinking. I may remember but I may never truly know. I will never know or understand who she really chose, me, or him.
I know things happened in the hunger games that she couldn't control and really I don't know what to understand any more, there is a thread thin line between reality and fantasy now when she's around. That girl, she is a mystery, a mystery that will never be unravelled. So much changed in the hunger games, I always had my eye on her, I always thought she was for me, but still so much changed and she changed and from when she entered and when she left that arena, so much of her has changed so much, I can barely believe she is the same person any more. It wasn't just the pretty dresses and Capitol lifestyle, but on the replays I saw her when the girl from district eleven died and I remember. I saw her eyes scrunched up and I heard her voice cut through the air, full of passion, love and remorse, bitter remorse. And when I saw that and when I remembered I swear I was knocked back to when I heard her sing first, all those years ago. But somehow she was different when I saw her next, and when I saw her after the games. Just a few seconds or a few years, I could never tell, yet she left and came back.
I remember watching from afar as she would try desperately to sell something, anything, but keeping away knowing that I couldn't help, that I hadn't got the nerve to help her even if I could. Pain was strong but something else was stronger, more than guilt, more than remorse, more than any feeling truly understood, no matter how much I tried to fool myself. Then I remember seeing her looking at him, just looking maybe. Did they know each other? I would never know until the games when I realized they did know each other and that he was one obstacle too high for me to truly claim Katniss' feelings.
Every berry that sprouted, every sunset that melted, every new dandelion twinkling in the fresh dew of spring, I remember now. I truly remember. That face she holds, it's like a mask, impenetrable. Yet I can penetrate it, if nobody else can, I can make her laugh, smile. Yet I don't know if that was just an act or a sign of friendship, not something more, something truer. I remember seeing that nest fly towards the careers and Katniss perched in the tree, warning Rue to run but not me, not him, not anyone, just Rue. They shared a true bond, like Prim. And the Mockingjays would take up her voice like a harmonious echo, each time rising in volume and voice. Each time repeated each note perfected, polished. Just like it was in the forest, by the stream, on the hill. Everywhere we went we knew each other. I remember that bread I gave her, how it made her smile. Yet still everything I do he has done also. Proper bread, not the cheap stuff you get from the meagre tesserae supply, yet he did the same, he also gave her bread.
Could nothing I do better his? We both gave bread, we both heard her sing, we both watched the events of the hunger games, we both knew about the dandelions and the Katniss potato. We both knew her and we both made her laugh, we both made her smile, we both made her cry. Yet only one of us won her, only one of us did. Only one of us got her, but I still am not sure if her heart lies with that choice, if she is behind it. I don't know which one of us she truly feels for. I remember like him, I remember her songs, every word, every note, I remember her father who made the birds sing. I remember her mother who could heal just about anything with the aid of Prim and how they didn't mind the sight of blood while Katniss squirmed and ran away, I remember her innocence yet her denial about it. I remember her traps and hunting by her side. And I remember the feelings that I at least had but I don't know what happened, I don't know how she feels about it all. She puzzles me, she really does. I want to know her mind, I want to be able to read it and be assured that it was me, that it always has been me. Yet I fear the truth, I fear how she might actually feel. I fear even to imagine her true thoughts towards us.
I remember seeing her volunteer for Prim and feeling confusion, total utter confusion. But I understood, I really did, I just didn't know if I would do that for my brother, if I could sacrifice so much for him. Yet still she did it and I almost cried out as she did, as she leapt up to the stage, stony determination on her face, though I knew the real meaning of that look, I knew the pain behind those eyes. And I remember thinking, a scream of a thought echoing around my head, screaming repetitively yet making no sound and trying desperately to grasp the situation like her kicking younger sister. I remember that thought, no. Just no, it couldn't happen, I knew it. Yet I felt myself ask why, why did I think that scream that could rip through the forest or the district; that could rip through the Capitol and the whole of Panem. I remember realizing the reason why I couldn't let her go, why I couldn't let her die. I remember.
I loved her.
A/N: So – the big question, who's POV is this from, Peeta's or Gale's?
So, to clear a few things up before they're asked, yes, they both gave Katniss bread, Peeta when he burnt it and Gale with the arrow stuck through it on the day of the reapings, remember? They've both hunted with Katniss, Gale out of the games and Peeta in it, although he was pretty bad! They both love Katniss (in my opinion anyway, maybe one more strongly than the other) and they both have seen her in the games and have both heard her sing before, well, I'm sure they have heard her sing, Peeta has and no doubt Gale has too. So please tell me whose point of view you think it's in, there's no wrong or right answer!