Disclaimer: must I say it? Lmao. Here you go jk, hither be yours until the end is no longer everlasting… if that makes sense.

Don't break my heart; don't tear me apart, why must my soul rip in two? You say you care, yet you are not there, now what am I supposed to do. Yet, I know you will always love me, I know you will always care, and I wish that could have been there… When I see you with him, I seem to fall apart. I wish you'd known this from the start, before you loved him more than me, before he told you it was meant to be, before I had to realize, that I am nothing with out you, and I cant stand to know that he doesn't love you as much as I do. I know he cheats on you, the way he said he would never do, it hurts me to know the end will be hard, he is playing a card, on you. Lily, why don't you love me too? Will you want me when you and he are through? One day you will say 'I do' but who will you say it to? Lily, I will wait for you, I will not treat you as he does. Even if he is my best mate, if he is willing to participate in a game of strip chess, with Ravenclaw girls, when you are in bed, wondering why he was so eager to leave so late. He does not deserve you; you cannot be treated like some useless trophy. I love you more than anything does; he barely loves you better than food. Baby, I love you.

Sirius

Sirius stared at the poem… if you can call it that. He saw a tear fall to the parchment.

That better not be my own tear. I will kick my own arse for being suck a wanker. He thought to himself.

Sirius wiped his eyes and sighed. He hated his life. His one true love was with his best mate. What was he to do?

He tied his torso length hair with a rubber band. He always grew his hair out when he was depressed. He was sick of it; he liked his short, shoulder-length hair galleons better. His gray eyes still glistened with sadness. However, he had no time to wallow in self-pity, he had to hide the poem/letter somewhere inquiring minds and wondering eyes would not find it.

He almost considered giving it to her, but he had a feeling she loathed him. At the thought, his stomach dropped, it felt as if he was on a rollercoaster, and he had just gone straight down at full speed.

Please Lily, do not hate me, I have done nothing wrong, and I love you, Lily, please. He pleaded uselessly in his mind.

Sirius hid the poem in a charmed music box. His elder sister, the only sibling he did not despise, had given it to him when he was younger. The boys would never even attempt to open the box; they had once before, and they were greeted by a very difficult equation even Remus could not solve.

It was part of a charm- if someone other than the owner attempted to open it, they would be greeted by many things, but seeing as they were just at school, and weren't trying to cause harm, it just made their brains ache a bit.

Right as he was closing the box, James, Remus, Peter, and gasp Lily, came into the dorm.

Sirius quickly sat on his bed and started putting away his parchment, ink, and quill.

"Evening Padfoot." James greeted him cheerily.

"Evening Prongs, Moony, Wormtail." He greeted.

"Evening." The other two said in unison.

Sirius looked at Lily, and she looked at him, they held eye contact until he started to blush and looked away.

"E-evening Lily." He stuttered, steadily turning redder.

She giggled and smoothed his hair. "Evening Sirius."

She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. He hated when she did that.

Oh, it is a kiss on the cheek between friends. In addition, James does not even notice. Nice boyfriend he is. He quickly stopped thinking about it as his eyes started to water. In addition, he surely did not want to cry in front of the boys, but especially not her.

"Just needed the map, but we'll be heading out now..." James said to Sirius.

"Alright, I'll just get back to my um… whatever I was doing." He replied absently.

He said 'bye' to his fellow Marauders and layback onto his bed.

"Hem hem." He heard someone say.

He jumped, not knowing he was not alone in the dorm.

"Oh, sorry Sirius. I didn't intend to frighten you." Lily said nervously.

"It's alright Lils."

Lily sat back down on Sirius's bed. She looked at her feet for a moment, and then looked at him.

"Sirius… I l… I lo…" she struggled.

Sirius looked at her and sat up. "Lily, you don't have to say anything. I know you hate me, its fine."

Lily looked like she had been hit by a rouge bludger quite a few times.

She recovered and cleared her throat, "Siri, I don't hate you. I… I…" she gave up and sighed, "I miss you. You're always so secretive and quiet around me."

Sirius looked away from her and wiped his eyes. He would NOT cry he would NOT…

Lily scooted a bit closer to him and leaned in close to his face.

Sirius's breath caught in his throat.

"Lily, you don't know what it's like, having to amount up to James, how hard it is not to tell yo…" he stopped short. Lily looked like she was about to cry. And it would be his entire fault.

He leaned a little bit closer, and kissed the corner of her mouth. He would never amount to James. He had the world now. And Sirius did not have shit.

A single tear crawled down Sirius' cheek and Lily wiped it away tenderly.

"I have something for you." He said without thinking twice. He was going to give her the poem.

After her retrieved it, he gave it to her and made her swear not to open it until she was in her bed with the curtains drawn. She obliged.

"Promise?" he asked.

"Yea. I swear on it, Siri."

He hugged her and she got up to leave.

"I always think about you Siri, even when I'm with him, I imagine that its you I'm with."

With that, she walked out, leaving Sirius to cry behind his bed curtains.

A/N: I promise it will not be depressing all the way through. I cannot have Sirius all down. Review:D