A/N: I don't even know. I just wanted to write this. Just... read it. It's just...

Anyways. Seriously. Just read, enjoy, review.

Zero advanced carefully into the Warehouse, Dahl pistol at the ready. He wasn't entirely sure what the place was, or even how he traveled backwards in time, which was impossible. But someone wanted him to, so he did, because no matter what time one was in, one needed money.

Whatever the place was, it was massive.

There was a noise and he started to swing his digistructed blade, but he stopped when he realized it was just a dog. The dog looked up at him, then ran away.

A question mark projected from his helmet, and then Zero shrugged and moved on, slightly more at ease, but still wary.

He stopped at an item on a shelf. The identifier next to it read "Pavlov's Bell".

"What is this strange bell? / Who is this Pavlov person? / What does the bell do?"

Curious, he picked it up and rang it gently.

The dog came running back.

"Hello, little mutt," he muttered. "So this bell has summoned you. / I mmph." If his helmet wasn't on, Zero would have instinctively covered his mouth to stop the overflow of saliva.

Gross. An adequate word to describe this situation.

But he still had a mission to complete, and so he started moving again, trying as hard as he possibly could to ignore his salivating.

It was a minor annoyance. He would deal with it later.

At long last, he got to where he was going, and started looking around.

Suddenly, his shields took a huge hit, and he deployed his hologram before darting off to the side, looking at his attackers. A woman and a man, both holding strange guns. He crept up behind them and put a gun to one, a blade to the other. He couldn't speak, but he could signal with his helmet projector. He moved in front of them and started projecting a message, one letter at a time.

It took a while, but he finally got the point across: WHATARETHOSE?

The girl is holding up her arms. A universal sign for surrender. "It's called a Tesla. Uh, what're you doing here?"

Again, it took a minute. SOMEONEHIREDME.

After a moment, he decided to add, A WOMAN.

The woman looks confused for a minute, then snaps her fingers. "I figured it out. You rang Pavlov's Bell. Oh, yeah, not fun at all."

A question mark appeared in front of Zero's helmet.

The woman pulled out a small vial, taking out a pinch of the material within. "Put this on the inside of your cheek, and it'll suck all the moisture up."

Zero took it, then projected his hologram and disappeared around a corner in order to take his helmet off in private and press the substance into his mouth.

A moment later, it was completely dry, and seconds after that, he felt normal function resume in his mouth. He replaced his helmet and went back to the two strangers, who were looking around, those strange guns at the ready. He disarmed them both, then glanced between them. "I need but one thing. / Once I have it, I will leave, / And never come back."

The man looked at the woman for a second, then sighed. "What do you need?"

Zero considered them for a moment. "A centrifuge."

The woman slapped her face, for some reason, then pulled a rectangular object out of her pocket. "Leena," she said after a moment, "where's H.G.?"

"In Myka's room. Last I saw, there was a sock on the door and it sounded like they were reading War of the Worlds to each other in a sexy voice, and I can't believe I just said that sentence. Anyways, she's not available."

"Who's not available?" Another woman's voice drifts through the device. The woman who hired Zero.

"Stop messing with the time travelers," the redheaded woman says into the device. "Seriously."

The woman who hired Zero, this H.G., sighed. "Very well. Zero, let them lead you to the bed and breakfast, and I'll try to send you back to your proper time."

At this point, the assassin was very confused, but he did as instructed. Soon he was back in Sanctuary.

Axton appeared. "There you are! We've been looking everywhere! Come on, we're gonna take another crack at that Terramorphous thing."

Zero followed, too shaken to speak in haiku. "I have had the strangest day. Remind me to tell you on the way."