Title: Past, Present, and Future
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time or its characters.
Rating: Mature
Summary: Prompted by skagengiirl, Emma and Graham's first time making love. Redefining Home verse.
Warning: Mentions of past sexual abuse.
Note: Posted for the Gremma Appreciation Week. See profile for details.
It was all heat.
Kisses and hands and heavy breaths, breathing in the woodsy clean of his skin, lips dragging across jaw and stubble, fingers tracing just beneath hems.
In the middle of it all, he paused, hovering just above her lips. His eyes quirked up, then side to side.
"What is it?" she asked, and almost cursed herself for the way it came out. Breathy and hoarse, she sounded utterly ravished.
He looked back down, his cobalt eyes meeting hers with a trace of amusement. "I'm waiting for the interruption."
She leaned back, sighing. "Henry's at Matt and Damon's. Gia's out of town. Phone is officially shut off." She undulated upwards with a coy smile. "I'm all yours."
He shivered, connecting their lips again. This was not new territory; making out like teenagers, hands roaming just under clothing. But as his hand slid upward, she found that she, too, was waiting for the interruption.
It was always something. Henry coming home early, Gia needing to discuss the class party, work calling about a case … always something pulling them away from going any further.
There was caution, this time, as he took a ragged breath and peeled the shirt from her body. "Too fast?" he asked against her lips.
She shook her head, hooking a leg around his waist to bring him closer. After three weeks of wanting, nothing seemed too fast. "Not at all," she murmured.
She took his lead and began to unbutton his shirt, her breaths increasing as more skin became available to trace with her eyes. She went to roll the cloth off his shoulders, when he caught her wrist. "Wait," he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers.
She froze, leaving her fingers loosely clutched around the bunch of material at his shoulder. There was a struggle behind his features, as she watched his Adam's apple bob up and down. She can feel the rush of her blood in one pulse all through her body, her head swimming with the want to feel his skin up against hers … but that something across his face was stopping her. "Graham?" she finally asked.
He shook his head, his eyes still closed. "It's okay. I just … I need a second," he replied, his voice shaky.
Emma frowned, finally drifting back, cupping his jaw with one hand. His eyelids parted, staring down at her in stark vulnerability. Mentally, she cursed his past and the person responsible for this reaction. They hadn't really discussed all that went on while he was heartless, but she knew enough to place the blame directly on the right person. "It's okay. It's me. You lead me," she requested.
He smiled a moment, leaning down to kiss her again, slowly, more thoroughly. "Sorry," he said softly, then trailed his lips down her neck.
"No need," she replied, the last almost a gasp as he nipped lightly along her pulse. "We work together, right?"
She can feel the way his lips move into a smile against her chest. "I have no doubt we will work very well," he countered suggestively.
She was not sure if she wanted to laugh or moan at the idea. His hands spread across her ribs, holding her in place as open-mouthed kisses marked her skin. She brought her hands above her head, both to provide him better access and to remove the temptation to tug at his hair.
Abruptly, he leaned up, finally removing the shirt from his body. Carefully, he took her hands and placed them on his chest. "I want you to touch me."
She swallowed, holding her palm over his heart for a moment, just feeling the beats against her. Her own was racing as flashes of the past wandered through her head so quickly that the pain didn't have time to solidify this time around. But she suddenly felt nervous, almost shy about touching him intimately even though her torso still glowed with warmth from his lips. She let her fingers trip over hard contours, down the firmness of his stomach where the muscles twitched in response to her light exploration. She met his eyes darkly, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his pants. "Can I?"
He wrapped an arm around her back, undoing the fastening on her bra. "I want to see you, first," he breathed, removing the lacy piece of fabric. She shuddered, feeling the chill negated almost instantly by the searing feel of his mouth wrapped around her breast. A low cry drew from her throat as he worked his tongue and teeth against her, and this time she couldn't resist clutching his shoulders tight. His faint stubble scratched, leaving red marks on pale skin, but she couldn't find it in her to care. It was too much, after too long, that she could only whimper out her approval and cautiously lead his hands to the button of her jeans.
He looked up, eyes darkened considerably as he coaxed the metal through the loop, dragging the zipper down languidly. "I think we'd have more space elsewhere," he rasped, even as he rolled the jeans from her body.
She couldn't help the burst of nervous giggling that escaped her before she nodded her agreement. "Not the biggest couch in the world."
He kissed her deeply again, tongue lashing across lips and into her mouth so distractingly that she barely noticed him helping her rise to her feet. His body was so warm against her, and they fit so well, that she found herself thinking that it was a miracle that they made it this long.
Her hands sought all of the skin exposed to her touch, the hard muscle, smooth skin, and faint recesses of old scarring. The more she looked, the more beautiful she found him.
"You're giving that look again," he said as he led her to the bedroom.
She slid backwards on the mattress, clenching her thighs together a little before leaning back. "Not the same one, promise. Not this time," she answered. She would admit that most of the time her intense stares directed at him came with the fear that, if she blinked, he'd disappear. Now, though, was purely for drinking in the look of him, as he stepped toward her with dark, seductive eyes.
She leaned forward, grabbing him by belt loops to drag him to her, her eyes never leaving his. Her breathing was a ragged mess, but she still managed, "this okay?"
He nodded. His fingers threaded through her hair, cupping her head. "I trust you. I just may … need a second, before …," he trailed off, giving a small, self-deprecating smile.
She leaned up, wrapping her arms around his neck. "We can wait. If you're not there yet –"
He chuckled, pressing her closer, tilting his hips so they fit into hers. She stifled a groan at the feel of him hard against her, sending a wave of electricity through her body. "I'm there. I want this, you, us. But it might be tough sometimes to push back the old stuff," he clarified.
She stared up at him, wondering the best course of action. Finally, she took his hand in hers and leaned back. She splayed his fingers just above the line of her panties; an offer, not a command. "What do you want?"
A faint smile crossed his lips, and he scattered kisses along her face. He made patterns in the skin there with nails and pads of fingers, words and swirls she couldn't discern. "I don't think there are words for what I want," he mused before pulling the thin strip of material down her legs. His stifled groan as he looked at her was almost enough to make her come undone.
"Now you?" she teased, a smile lingering on her lips as she shook out her hair.
His hands brushed up her thighs. "I love you."
She froze, her eyes widening somewhat. They hadn't exactly said it, in such blunt terms. The words were big and scary.
At least, they used to be.
She found herself realizing that it no longer scared her to have those words said to her. Having a curse-breaking kiss, a relationship forming by leaps and bounds, the love of her son and Graham's love for him as well … it's easier, now. In this life, with both sets of memories. It seemed natural to say it. She took a long breath before nodding. "I love you, too, Graham. Please don't ever question that."
He pressed light kisses along her shoulder, making their way to her lips. "Nice to say it in this life," he asserted. He leaned up, unbuttoning his pants.
She watched him hungrily, waiting for the excruciatingly slow lowering of the zipper. "In this life?" she questioned absently, letting her tongue peek out as he was left in his boxers.
"Mm. Didn't get to say it in the last one," he clarified, then brought her hands to the waistband.
She wasted no time in divesting him of the last piece of clothing, careful to trace with her eyes before reaching for him. "No time in the last one."
Graham touched her face reverently. "I could have made time," he argued.
He guided her hands along him, and he swallowed visibly as she wrapped her fingers to coax him to full hardness. "We didn't know we had so little," she insisted.
He pressed his forehead to hers, his pants coming faster. "Better when we talk," he murmured.
She grinned, sitting up a little more fully and increasing the pressure as she stroked. "Then I should tell you that I wanted you. From the first moment we talked, I did and then you were so stupidly sweet and helpful that I was scared to act on it. For a long time, I was mad that I didn't act on it, that I didn't at least have that with you," she confessed hoarsely. He pressed her back to the sheets, laving a trail down her stomach until she could no longer grip him. She sighed contentedly at the first sweep of his tongue. "But now I'm glad we waited until this life. When we both understand how much we care." The sigh turned into a gasp as he added his fingers to his exploration, curling inwards to press against just the right spot.
"I wondered if you cared back then," he said heatedly against her core, then continued his attentions.
She couldn't manage a full sentence, but let out a "God, yes," that she wasn't entirely sure was in response to the question. She threaded her fingers through his dark curls, forming words she wasn't positive were coherent. It wasn't long before she cried out his name, shuddering at her peak. His long fingers worked over her as she came down, then he leaned up to kiss her thoroughly.
He breathed across her lips, smiling fondly. In response, she hooked a leg over his hip, rolling him closer. His eyes fluttered, his head falling to her shoulder. "I don't fully trust the infertility diagnosis, given the source. Condom?" he asked.
A rush of heat covered her face, a sudden crazy impulse to throw the dice instead. She knew as well as he that the other would be more likely to claim a problem on his part than on hers in her revolting attempts.
So there was a chance, and a good one given the day of the month, that he could get her pregnant if they weren't careful at this moment.
She and Graham weren't ready for anything like that, not when they're still finding their footing just the three of them. But a tug on her heart called out quietly even behind all the rationalization. Her chest was still rising and falling rapidly, and she didn't trust her voice either for the exertion or the strange whim. She nodded to the bedside drawer.
She noted his hands shaking just slightly as he removed the package, his eyes distracted. She took it from him and ghosted a kiss against the corner of his mouth. "Slow. No rush," she reminded, tearing the foil open. She rolled it on him delicately, then tossed the wrapper away with a thoughtful look. "Maybe … maybe someday …."
"We won't need it?" he asked, a smile finally appearing on his lips.
She blushed a little deeper, then laid back. "Yeah, something like that. Future. Long-distance future," she replied hastily, even if it wasn't how she was feeling.
"Sounds like a damn good future to me," he asserted, then cradled her hips in his hands, pressing against her entrance.
She tasted his breath, trying not to bear down against him. She cupped his jaw, her thumb winding over stubble. "You're my future," she said, making sure he was in the moment, focused on them alone.
He slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her deep as he slowly filled her. She released a cry that he took on his tongue, rolling it back to her as they finally were flush together. He broke away a moment. "My God," he swore, trailing one hand up her side.
She nodded hastily, the feel of him inside her almost too much. "Please," she said, almost a sob. She refrained from moving first, relinquishing control to him. She knew he needed it, especially in these first moments. But she also was driving down the instinctive need to feel that friction between them; she sucked a breath to maintain her patience.
He shifted, resting his weight on his forearms. Lovingly, he nudged her nose with his. "Thank you," he whispered. Then, he pulled out, sliding back into her hard enough to rock her whole body. Her head snapped back and she bit down hard on her lip with a muffled cry. His smile was slightly smug now, as he repeated his motions.
"Harder," she pleaded hoarsely. She wrapped her legs around his waist and met his lips again, rolling her hips eagerly.
He smiled as they kissed, and his hands shifted to hold her hips again before giving her what she asked. "Impatient," he teased as he thrust, nipping at her lips.
"Yes," she agreed, tilting her pelvis to meet him each time he entered her. It was all-consuming, the contact, the heat, the feelings welling up insider her. "God, Graham, yes."
He let out a strangled groan as she tightened her muscles around him, speeding up again. "Emma," he called, a prayer falling from his tongue. He let out a trill of curses that bloomed pride all through her body; he wasn't one to swear casually and the fact that she could make him fumble for words this much was a heady feeling.
Then, he leaned his weight on one hand as the other slipped between them, and all smugness washed out of her as the pleasure concentrated. Her fingers tensed on his shoulders as she struggled to wait, unable to concentrate on anything but the feel of him, his scent, his groans, his taste, the black-blue of his eyes set on her. "Close," she managed in a gasp.
He nodded, and his thrusts became sharper, more erratic. She grabbed the back of his neck, yanking his head to her lips once more, kisses more frantic than loving. Black tinged around the corner of her vision as she tunneled toward climax, only vaguely aware of the growls pulled from the back of his throat.
Her body tensed and shuddered, just as she felt him jerk hard into her. Her vision swarmed with darkness as she half-sobbed, half-screamed, and his teeth came down hard on her shoulder.
They laid there for a long while, breaths evening out and foreheads resting against one another.
Slowly, he began to brush his hands over her body, calming them both. He touched his lips to hers ever so faintly, pulling her from the draw of exhaustion to kiss him back, a meager thanks for the sensations still trembling through her.
"Sorry," he said after a moment.
Her eyes snapped to his in surprise. "For making me come that hard?" she asked incredulously.
He grinned, pulling her so they were on their side. "Definitely not for that. For you shoulder."
She looked down, only now feeling the dull throb as she saw the imprint of teeth on her skin. She shrugged. "I'll get after you when I have to wear sleeves in 90 degree weather. Not tonight," she said wearily.
His eyes darkened somewhat, glittering in the moonlight. "Then I think I should add to it while I still can," he growled, kissing down her neck.
She giggled, feeling a certain weightlessness as he did so. She caught sight of the laces on her wrist then, and thoughtfully pushed back his sweaty hair to meet his eye. "All good?" she asked.
He nodded, a small grin forming on his lips. "With you? I'm great, fantastic, verging on utopic."
She grinned. "Good. 'Cause I kinda feel the same."
Graham brought her palm to his lips, an open mouth kiss there that almost felt like a promise before his smile turned feral. "I'm glad. That means we can start working on round two."
She pulled his lip between her teeth and straddled him. "I think that can be arranged."
Later, she woke in the pre-dawn hours to him pressed tight up against her back, cradling her in his arms. She felt her heart stir once again, the love and trust and commitment feeling alien and disconcerting all at once.
But she settled into a comfortable bliss as his heart beat between her shoulder blades. They'd work through it together. Always.