Sirius lay on his bed and contemplated how bored he was. He couldn't stand Divination and had cast a vomiting hex on himself to skip. He'd ignored James' glance of betrayal. Professor Impsworth's lessons were a waste of time and he didn't need anymore lectures to fake his way through the upcoming OWLs. He'd thought to nap in his room but that now he was here he couldn't sleep. He was bored.
Bored bored bored bored bored.
He picked up his wand and tried to think of something to cast but nothing came to mind. He tried to twirl it around his finger but it slipped out of his grasp and clattered to the floor. He was bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
He could study for his other OWLs but that sounded like work. He could practice the tongue twisted curse he wanted to use on Snivelous but he couldn't reach his wand and moving was too much work. He could flirt with Jennifer Abbot but the cute Hufflepuff girl was in class and wouldn't skip. The only thing left to do was stare at the ceiling.
He could of course work on his animagus training. Briefly he perked up his ears but settled down. He'd gotten stuck on the meditations. Every thing said to 'clear your mind.' What did that even mean? He had no need to 'enter into the animal' or 'discover its inner spirit.' He already knew what dogs were like. His uncle's lab was always playful and always excited to see him. The lab played hard, ate voraciously, and slept as much as he wanted and Sirius emulated it as much as possible. One journal article said to 'become one with the beast' but Sirius had it on good authority (Jennifer's) that he was already a beast. He gave a barking laugh at his own joke and settled down to stare at the wall. Sleeping on his side now seemed like a better idea than on his back. The slow tick-tock of the clock droned on and on. It was so quiet he thought he could even hear the gears in the old wooden clock on the mantelpiece.
Eventually he sat up and wondered what had roused his interest. He cocked his head and listened before deciding it must have been voices in the common room. He jumped off the bed and looked for something to entertain him. Hey, there was something over there. He climbed on the next bed over and realized that the small thin things crinkled when he sat on them. They even smelled like James. The whole bed smelled like James. He settled down. Time to play but nothing to do. Nothing to do but time to play. If James were here he would play. Poor James, he must be lost. Sirius nosed the stack of crinkly things in front of him. James, his best friend, would be lost forever and Sirius was going to starve. He took a bite and spit it out. It tasted terrible but he kept chewing and tearing. It wasn't food but he was still bored and this was something. Finally it was all gone. Disconsolately he snuffled the air, jumped to the ground, and clamored onto the next bed. This one smelled like Remus. Remus was his best friend but he wasn't here. Obviously he was lost forever and Sirius was going to starve because there was nothing to eat on this bed. He turned in circles and scratched the bed till it looked reasonably comfortable then flopped down. Then he got up, adjusted so he was facing the door and flopped down once more.
He was bored again. He dozed for a bit but something caught his attention. Voices were echoing in the stairway and they were approaching. The door opened and it was James! Sirius bounded off the bed and jumped on his best friend and licked him in the face. He was alive! Sirius wouldn't starve after all. For some reason James pushed him down. Then he noticed Remus. Remus was his best friend and he wasn't lost! Now Sirius would doubly not starve. He jumped up on Remus too and greeted him too. Finally he saw Peter. Peter was also his best friend! There was a crash behind him and he turned to see a lamp on the floor. He'd knocked it over with his tail. Wait, why did he have a tail? He looked down to see paws.
"Help" he tried to say but came out as a bark. Sirius tried to clap his hand over his mouth, realized it was a paw, and fell over.
Remus closed the door behind him and burst out laughing. James turned to him. "Did you do this? You conjured a dog?"
"I didn't do this. He did it to himself."
"The dog conjured himself?"
"No, he transfigured himself. He's Sirius."
"Sirius?" They looked at the dog who scrambled to his feet and nodded slowly. "You're stuck?" Sirius nodded again and the other three burst into laughter. James just sat on the ground and leaned against the wall. Eventually the laughter subsided and Peter said "You know what makes this even funnier?"
"What's that?"
"He licked the two of you on the face."
James and Remus froze for a second then sprinted for the bathroom to wash. Peter giggled then turned to see Sirius impatiently scraping his tongue clean on the target and burst into giggles again. Several minutes passed before the two boys returned, red faced from a thorough scrubbing. Remus asked "So what do we do? Take him to McGonnagal?"
"Are you kidding? She'll murder us for even thinking about attempting the animagus transformation."
"We have to do something."
"We could take him for a walk. He might not be house broken" Peter said then giggled and slumped against the door.
Remus and James looked at each other. "Did we break him?"
"Maybe. You know how to fix him? Sirius I mean?"
"I know the animagus reversal spell but I've never had someone to try it on." He turned to Sirius. "You want to be a guinea pig?"
"He can't. He's already a dog" Peter interjected then burst into giggles again.
The other three just looked at him. Finally Sirius nodded and braced himself.
James pulled out his wand and cast "homo bestia permuto." With a loud 'crack' Sirius returned to his normal human self. He checked his hands, felt his face, shouted 'Mouthwash!' and sprinted to the bathroom. As he gargled his way to cleanliness he heard Remus yell "Hurry up. We've got transfiguration in five minutes."
Then James shrieked "Did you eat my homework?"
