And this is Cillit Bang!
Disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter or Cillit Bang.
He lay there on the cold hard ground, confused as his senses came back to him. He had died but yet here he was still alive. The bottle of cleaning spray digging into his side had rudely awakened him from his brief chat with the 'spirit' of Dumbledore. He considered his options, he was alive and he wanted to stay that way once Neville killed the snake Voldemort would be vulnerable; he had gone to his death willingly thinking someone perhaps one of the teachers would manage to strike Voldermort down with his Horcruxes destroyed. But he was alive breathing as quietly as he could so his second life wasn't ended prematurely. What could he do though? His wand was gone and he wasn't exactly built for physical confrontation, granted Voldemort wasn't exactly Jackie Chan either but Harry doubted he could kill him with his bare hands.
The cleaning spray dug into his side distracting him, he had been carrying around the cleaning product since he went on the run, it was some idle idea of his that after the war was over he would return to Grimmauld place and clean it up.
He was running out of time, he could hear the death eaters taunting his friends his family pointing at his 'dead' body. Their grief was flattering he thought to himself. All of a sudden there was a scream of outrage, it wasn't from the order, it was voldermort. Daring to open his eyes for the first time since he died, he looked around. Hogwarts was a mess, rubble littered the floor enchanted suits of armour strewn across the battlefield their individual pieces attempting to move, to carry on the fight, there were bodies too but a part of Harry stopped him from looking to see who. Neville Longbottom stood there sword of Gryffindor clasped in two hands he was alone facing Voldemort and his death eaters but at his feet lay two halves of Nagini the final piece of Voldemorts immortality.
Voldemort was enraged he knew he was mortal now, his wand was levelled at Neville, No. Harry thought. Not another of my friends dies tonight.
Harry stood up he was a few feet away from Voldemort. Gasps came from around him. He stepped forward reaching into his robe as Voldemort turned to face him.
"You" The rasping voice of the man who wanted to ruin the world.
"Hi, I'm Harry Potter and this" He said brandishing the bottle to the confused death eaters "is Cillet Bang!"
He pulled the trigger, the slightly coloured liquid sprayed out of the bottle straight into the surprised face of Voldemort.
There was a moment of silence.
"aaah, what the F*** what is wrong with you, it's right in my eyes, god it stings so bad" He was rubbing his slits for eyes trying to get the cleaning product out them.
Harry wasn't about to let up his advantage. He sprayed again.
Unfortunately for Voldemort, he had opened his mouth and half inhaled the spray.
"AAAH it's in my mouth, what is this stuff, this is the worst tasting potion ever!" the frantic Dark Lord began spitting trying to purge his mouth.
The death eaters stood in shock they had never seen their leader so helpless, Harry turned to them pointing the Bottle at the group. Hurriedly they dropped their wands terrified at whatever could cause so much pain to the Dark Lord.
Harry sprayed him again.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT" Voldemort screamed "Its right in my nose, what is this, crucio in a potion?"
Harry smiled at his success, he took the wand from the floor Voldemort had dropped in an attempt to wipe his face. With a reluctant sigh and one spell, Harry ended the war.
AN So for those that don't know in Britain there is a series of adverts for something called Cillit bang which always start with, 'Hi I'm Barry Scott and this is Cillit bang!' So I thought it was only right to have Cillit Bang be the power he knows not.