In fall Remus stood on the top of the Astronomy Tower. He is slightly cold, but he decides not to use the warming charm he learned only a few weeks ago. He can see the moon rising above the trees of the Forbidden Forest. It is nearly the full moon, he consults his mental calendar and realizes it's tomorrow. Tomorrow he will He will tell Sirius, and James that his mother is ill and he as to go home to see her. This is a lie, in reality he will be ripping himself to shreds. Bitting and scratching himself forming more of the ugly scars that run along his arms and and crisscross his torso. He will do this from the time the moon has reached it's apex, to the time the sun rises in the morning. When he will wake he may be in the Shrieking Shack, or he might wake in the Hospital Wing. He doesn't know whether he likes the long walk from the Shrieking Shack to the Hospital Wing or waking in one of the Hospital Wing's narrow beds with Sirius and James sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, looking pale and worried, not knowing how he became so beaten up while visiting his possibly dying mother. He wonders about the what it must be like sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs of the Hospital Wings. He's only ever done it once, when Sirius who was the beater on the Gyfindor quidditch wasn't paying attention and a bludger James in the back of the head. That had been the only time he had sat in a uncomfortable plastic chair look pale and worried.
"Hey, thought you might be up here," Sirius voice breaks through his thoughts.
"Hey I'm going home tomorrow," Remus pauses for a moment, "to visit my mum."
"You ok," Sirius asks. Remus is tempted to say no he wasn't, but he say "yep, never been better," somewhat cheerfully. Sirius looks at him he has dark shadows under his amber eyes as if he wasn't slept for days, Sirius know that Remus has slept through his first lesson of the day twice in the past three days, he wonders if Remus is ill but dismisses the thought.
In the morning Remus packs his cloths and goes to the Hospital Wing. That night in the Shrieking Shack the wolf bites and scratches himself, wounds left by the wolf never heal properly, but the wolf's never cared. The morning after the full moon he wakes on the cold wooden floor of the Shrieking Shack. Madam Pomfrey finds him, and hands him a pair of underwear and a black robe and ushers him towards the passage way to the willow. Then to the Hospital Wing telling his to lay down in the narrow bed. Soon Sirius and James sit in the uncomfortable plastic chairs.
In the winter James sits in the library. Looking down at a book on werewolves. He wonders if Remus is a werewolf. Every month at the full moon he goes to visit his mum. For days before he looks pale and sickly. James closes the book and heads back to dorm. Remus lays on his bed. James comes to sit with him, come to the conclusion that he will ask Remus about whether or not he suffers from lycanthropy.
"Rem?"
"Yeah," Remus groans and looks at his best friend.
"I know your secret," James said creepily.
"How do you know?" Remus asks terrified.
"It's obvious,"
"Is it really that obvious I'm a werewolf?" Remus scratches the back of his neck terrified, "don't hate me," he mumbles.
James blinks realizing he was right, "hate you how could I?"
"I'm a monster."
"Yeah you are."
Sirius bursts into the dorm, "Remus is a werewolf, I just figured it out James, hi Rem, anyway definitely a werewolf. Oh my god," he say gaping at Remus.
In spring Sirius sits next to Remus's bed. Remus sleeps deeply. Sirius brushes a strand of hair out of his closed eyes.
"Rem, why'd you lie to us?" No answer.
"No one hates you, you know that, right?" No answer.
"Your not a monster, Moony is the monster," No answer.
Sirius gets up an goes to the Great Hall to eat breakfast.
In summer they write letters. They write about everything from the the full moon to Sirius being about this close (inclosed with the letter is a photo of Sirius's thumb and forefinger about an half a centimeter apart,) from disowning him. They write about plans for the marauders map. They look forward to the fall when they will see each other again.