Remus Lupin was in tremendous pain. He felt like his skin was tearing open all over his body. His eyes were on fire. His mouth and throat were so dry he could barely speak. Tomorrow night was the full moon. For the past two years, without fail, Snape has appeared at seven o'clock the night before and the night of the full moon. With him he brings a flawlessly prepared Wolfsbane Potion. The potion dulls the pain and controls the transformations, allowing Remus to remain himself even though his body is that of a beast. Throughout the two years Remus has begun to depend on and respect Snape. The last three transformations have seen Remus grappling with an even stronger attachment to the Potions Master.
Severus Snape was in a Very Bad Mood. The sort of Mood that was more than worthy of capital letters. He had been delayed by a pair of brawling Gryffindors and then Flitwick had wanted to talk to him about the finer points of the theory behind the use of snapdragon in Calming Draughts. Snape was now thirty minutes late to bring the man he lov-loathed his Wolfsbane. He knew Lupin would be writhing in agony by now. Writhing… He shook his head as he strode towards the werewolf's rooms, startling several first years.
A loud knock sent Remus racing for the door, then crying out in pain as his body protested. Hearing the anguished sound, Snape burst into the room. He looked down at the man sobbing on the floor before him. He thought he felt his heart break. Reaching down, he lifted the man onto the sofa, trying not to further aggravate the pain. Grasping Lupin's chin, he forced the man's jaw open before dribbling the potion down his neck. He clamped his hand over Lupin's mouth and massaged the werewolf's throat until he swallowed. It would take some time before the potion took effect. The delay in administering it meant an exponential delay in the effects. Lupin would be in pain for the next hour or so and Snape would have to stay with him.
Settling himself on the couch, Snape suddenly found himself with a lap full of whimpering werewolf. Hands fisted his robes while Lupin buried his face in the crook of Snape's neck, tears still streaming down his face.
"S-S-Severus. Oh G-God, Severus. It-it h-h-hurts so b-bad."
Severus rubbed soothing circles on the man's back, waiting for the tears to cease.
"P-please don't l-l-leave me, S-Severus. Oh, G-god, don't st-stop."
Remus' tear-filled pleas were the result of madness inducing pain, Severus knew, but he couldn't help but wish they were the result of something else.
"I thought… I thought you weren't c-coming. I thought this time you were really going to l-leave me."
Snape's face flushed with shame. Once, when he was first required to brew the Wolfsbane, he had been arguing with Lupin and in a fit of rage had threatened to not make it for the werewolf. Lupin's eyes had widened and his breath had stopped. He looked utterly terrified before he apologised and fled. He had been nothing but polite to Snape since that day, as though he was still afraid the other man would not make his potion. Today was the first day Severus had seen the werewolf un-medicated and he was certain he would not forget it. He suddenly understood why such an idle threat struck fear into the heart of the quiet man. Resolving to make the man understand that he would never follow through, Severus tried to ignore his bitter disappointment. Of course Lupin only needed him for the potion. Of course Lupin had no other interest in the Potions Master. Lupin would probably be ashamed of himself when he regained his senses and recalled his behaviour. Severus decided to make the most of it while he could. He held the man close to his chest and buried his face in his hair.
"I'm so sorry, Remus, I was delayed. I never dreamed such a short amount of time would result in so much pain."
Sniffling softly, Remus answered, "It's alright, I went through it without Wolfsbane for a long time, Severus."
Even though he was clearly recovering, Remus didn't move off Severus' lap or out of his embrace. In fact, he leaned back and tentatively reached up to card one hand through the silky black hair, his other hand still tightly gripping the robes. Severus bit back a moan at Remus' caress, barely noticing as he was pushed down onto his back on the sofa and straddled by Remus.
"Remus…"
"I know you want this, Severus." Remus murmured against Snape's neck, pressing their crotches together.
"What?" gasped Snape.
"I've seen the way you look at me. Haven't you seen the way I look at you?"
"Remus?"
Remus didn't answer, instead choosing to lean down and press his lips to Snape's in a tender kiss. Snape froze for a moment before his eyes flickered shut and he was returning the kiss with enthusiasm but to his utter disappointment Remus' lips stilled. Had he been too eager? Gods, was this all a joke? Had Remus come to his senses and realised the disgusting thing he was doing, kissing the greasy, ugly Potions Master? Remus rolled off Severus and a soft snore interrupted Severus' distressing train of thought. He looked over and realised the werewolf had fallen asleep mid-kiss. Overwhelming pain can do that to a body. Smiling softly, Severus shrugged off his outer robes and draped them over the sleeping man. He went to leave, but a quiet voice called out to him.
"Stay, Sev'rus."
Only his cast-iron self-control stopped the grin that threatened to split the Potion Master's face as he walked back across the room and climbed back onto the sofa, spooning Remus. He sighed contentedly at the way their bodies fit together perfectly.
When Remus woke up the next morning, he was lying on his stomach, half naked, and with a heavy weight resting on the small of his back. He panicked and bucked the weight off him, watching as Severus fell inelegantly to the ground. As he stared at the Potions Master dressed only in his dark trousers, Remus remembered what, or at least what he thought, had happened the night before. Speechless, he watched the other man slowly get to his feet. Severus turned away to put on his shirt before shrugging on his robes and making to leave.
"Severus, wait-"
Remus trailed off as Severus turned the full force of his glare on him. There was the usual hatred there, as well as something more tormented – hurt.
"I will return at seven with your next dose, Lupin."
Remus couldn't speak and merely nodded his assent. He watched Severus leave and wondered what was going on. He stood up and stretched and realised that his muscles didn't twinge, even after the delayed Wolfsbane. Wondering why, he looked around before spying a phial on the ground. When he smelt it, he realised it was massage oil. Suddenly the morning's events made sense. He really had kissed Severus and Severus had kissed him back. Severus had kissed him, slept in his bed, and then tried to massage his aching back. Remus had fallen asleep mid-kiss, probably snored all night, and then thrown Severus on the ground mid-massage.
Remus groaned. He walked into the bathroom and glared at his reflection.
"Bloody buggering fuck. Good work, dickhead. You finally kiss him and get him in your goddamn bed and what do you do? You sleep the bloody night away. And then you go and fuck things up like this. What the actual fuck? You stupid, stupid, bloody mutt."
Still grumbling and berating himself, Remus climbed into the shower. Under the hot spray, he allowed himself to remember the good parts. How tightly Severus had clung to him, how he had felt underneath him, how he had tasted. When his interest in the topic began to manifest physically, he refused to relieve himself. Now was not the time, not when he might have destroyed whatever sliver of a chance he had. He was about to turn the shower off when he heard someone call out from the living room.
"Lupin?"
Remus nearly dropped the soap he was holding when he heard Severus' voice. Merlin. Severus is here. He came back. And I'm naked. And …erm…alert. Oh Merlin.
"I'm in the shower, Severus," said Remus, pleased his voice didn't crack.
"Ah. I shall wait out here then."
"Or you could join me?" What the fuck? I was meant to NOT be buggering this up more.
Severus didn't reply and Remus finished with a freezing shower and dressed at a lightning pace, hoping his guest wouldn't leave. He ran into the room, hair still dripping, and collided bodily with a pacing Severus, sending the two of them sprawling onto the ground. Remus was lying atop Severus, his hands fisting the other man's robes while Severus had one hand on Remus' back.
"Well. This is familiar," said Remus.
Severus snarled and pushed the man off him.
"No, Severus, wait," said Remus, scrambling up before the other man could leave. "I'm sorry, I wasn't poking fun, I just…"
"What, Lupin? What exactly do you want?"
"I-"
"Do you even know? Are you even sure of what you want?"
"Sev-"
"Was last night an experiment? See how much we can humiliate Snivellus? See how badly we can hurt him? I told you I was sorry for being late with the potion, but it wasn't my fault. What you did went too far, Lupin. It was-"
"Shut up, Severus," interrupted Remus. "Please. Last night was…well, honestly? It was the best night of my life."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, Severus. I meant it when I said that I wanted you, and I know you want me too."
"Then why did you…"
"I woke up with someone sitting on me. I grew up a werewolf, Severus, I'm not exactly comfortable with being constrained like that and I suppose I was surprised. And then when I realised it was you I was too shocked to realise last night hadn't been a dream that I, well, you know what happened…"
Remus trailed off and waited, wondering if the other man would understand. Severus stared at him before turning and walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. Remus sank down onto the bed and didn't move until it was time for him to take the Wolfsbane Severus had brought him when he was in the shower. The transformation was painful, but the Wolfsbane did its job and Remus barely moved from the bed, still as confused and worried as he had been as a human.
It was some time later, in the early hours of the morning, that Remus realised what Severus' behaviour meant. The other man had not shouted, sneered, laughed, or stormed out, he had simply left. Remus decided to take this as a positive and finally managed to go to sleep.
When Remus woke, he was completely naked, lying on his bed, with a weight on the small of his back. He started but a voice murmured in his ear.
"Let's try this again, shall we?"
Twisting his neck, Remus looked at the half-naked Severus straddling his back. He smiled and lay back down, enjoying the man's talented fingers. When Severus had loosened every knotted muscle on Remus' back, he lifted himself and rolled the man over. He settled himself back down on Remus' hips, seemingly oblivious to the other man's reaction to the proceedings. When he had finished massaging the chest and stomach, he made to climb off of Remus completely but the other man grabbed his hand.
"What is it, Remus?"
"I was just wondering," began Remus, smiling sheepishly. "I wondered if you wouldn't mind terribly massaging my...my jaw."
Severus frowned at the request but he soon realised what a toll the transformation must take on that particular joint. He smiled slightly and reached out the cup Remus' face, his elegant fingers rubbing and soothing. Remus moaned at the relief and Severus jumped at the sound. His slight movement made him aware of Remus'…reaction to the treatment and he realised he was expressing a similar…interest in proceedings. He continued to idly massage, unsure as to how to continue.
Finishing the massage with a flourish, Severus made to swing one leg over Remus and stand up, but suddenly stopped.
"Severus?"
Severus smirked and settled back on top of Remus. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to the other man's lips. Remus relaxed into the gesture and sighed. Severus took the opportunity to slip his tongue in, but pulled back before anything got too heated. He laughed at Remus' whine and made sure to rub himself against him as he stood.
"Severus, what was…"
"Go to sleep, Remus. You need it."
"But-"
"I'll still be here when you wake up."
Remus was sorely tempted to object again but his eyelids were sliding shut. When he felt Severus slide into the bed next to him and pull him into an embrace, he decided to give in and allowed himself to drift off to sleep. As he lost consciousness, he thought he felt Severus place a kiss on the top of his head and whisper in his ear.
"I'll be here as long as you want me."
