AN :

I got the inspiration for this song-fic not only from playing the game, Rping with my fiance who played an incredible John, but from the true meaning of the song.

That early morning I rode into Mexico in the game and this song played...it touched every fiber of my being.

Rockstar sure knew how to pick 'em.

Anyway, song, characters, ect do not belong to me.

The game, characters, and instances all belong to Rockstar.

The song belongs to Jose Gozalez.

Song : Far away.

RDR. John POV.

This is my first time EVER writing or being John so..be warned I may be off but I try my best.

Dedicated to Nate, for without you. I'd be a lost soul in Odd Fellows.

Enjoy.

The bullet propelled from the barrell of my cattleman revolver and directly between the eyes of the bandit.

Spurrs jingling as I walked over, the female the bandit was carrying jumped off the ground and threw herself at me, wrapping her skinny pale arms around my waist.

`` Thank ya mister! `` she hollared over and over again. I felt my shirt being covered in tears. Casually one of my arms found it's way around her back, patting it slightly before she removed herself from me and run back towards Armadillo.

The song reached it's rays across the New Austin landscape. It had to have been about noon from all of the heat and brightness. I reached in a pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it I placed it between my lips.

Another job well done for this old outlaw.

Now if only saving Jack and Abigail could be so easy..

[ Step infront of a runaway train just to feel alive again.

Pushing forward through the night, aching just to blow aside. ]

I snuffed out the cigarette moments later with the heel of my boot before using my fingers in my mouth to let out a whistle, summoning my horse.

It galloped it's way toward me, putting one foot in the sturrup I swung my leg over and mounted, the rains in one of my hands I kicked either side of the horse and hollared myself.

`` Giddyup. ``

He took off , the still smoking cigarette in my wake.

The days seemed to draw longer with Abigail and Jack gone. I would rather have killed the government boys ten times over than have had to kill Dutch and the fella's I used to ride with once, but it wasn't an option with my familys safety at risk.

For all I knew, they were probably holding them at gun point...one of the pigs sweating all over my Abigail. I caught myself grinding my teeth with fury as I rode closer towards Armadillo. My eyes were determined to shut from lack of sleep, but I would try and hold them open longer. I still had plenty of things to do so I couldn't nap now.

After some time had passed, I left Armadillo with some more supplies before I headed out to BlackWater. As I rode, a train came chugging past me, it's whistles blowing and screaming. I could hear the conductor yellin' and makin' a big fuss about somethin' but I couldn't hear what. I rode away from it to gather my thoughts. The sun was fading down now. Settling so that the moon would come out. I heaved a sigh as I heard another scream farther up the tracks. A young woman tied as the train was coming close. I kicked at my horse sending it running in the direction, I dismounted and nearly flew to the ground a few feet from the woman. I ran to her aid, quickly cut her free, my arms going around her as I jumped us away from the tracks. We hit the ground hard, she screamed as the train flew past us. After a brief few seconds I stood up, helping her to her feet.

``You saved my life mister! `` she said, clinging to me again, just as the other girl had done.

`` I don't suppose you could give me a ride into town, couldya mister? ``

`` Sure thing ma'm. Happy to help. `` I found my horse, mounted and then helped her mount. She tossed her legs over one side as I kicked the horse into gear and we headed for Thieves Landing.

As we rode, she wrapped her arms around me. She musn't have been to familiar with riding horses because she seemed scared. It reminded me of Abigail.

[ It's so far, so far away.

It's so far, so far away.

Cold wind blows into the skin.

Can't believe the state you're in. ]

When I was riding in the gang, Dutch told me to carry her on my horse. She was young then. 15 if I remember correctly.

Very pretty. She was dirty, and bruised and wrapped her own skinny arms around me...I can still remember the feeling. Never happened before and Dutch barely ever let her ride on a horse again after that.

I smiled. The damsel must have seen it.

`` Ey' mister. Whatcha smilin' bout there? ``

`` My wife m'am. ``

`` She's lucky mister. Very lucky to have a man like you. ``

`` I think I'm luckier to have her ma'm but thank ya. ``

We arrived at Theives landing shortly after. The sun had already vanished and the moon stretched it's own rays out, casting shadows and the like. I slowed my hungarian half-bred down and let her off.

`` Well you have a good night with ya family mister. I bet they miss ya! `` she dashed off to the saloon.

I kicked the side of the horse again and headed towards Beechers hope instead of Black Water.

[ It's so far, so far away.

It's so far, so far away.

Who are you trying to impress, steadily creating a mess? ]

The sky was pitch black, the stars the only light as I rode on.

The house was deserted..Abigail and Jack having been taken by the government and Uncle had seemed to have dissapeared.

I wandered over towards the stable and peered inside. It was bare and empty as well. Not a horse or ranch hand in sight.

Walking towards the house I roamed my eyes around my property. We had a lot of work to do when I got Abigail and Jack back, it's never a home without your family. It's just a building made of wood and such.

I opened the front door and stepped inside. It looked like it had always been. Except there was no candles or light. Not fire. No warmth. No love.

Peeking into Jack's room It felt as if my heart started to tear...I moved and peeked into Uncles room. Even though that lazy old sunuva bitch didn't do shit, I still felt a slight heart tug for him with the empty bed. And last, I moved to Abigail and myselfs room. The bed wasn't made...the last time we slept her together was the day before they got taken from me.

I moved inside and shut the door, the bright stars shining in the sky peered through the window and casted some light in the cold room. I sat down on the bed before I pulled my legs up and layed down fully clothed. I tried to prevent it..but my eyes just kept closing...wanted to claim sleep...

[ Step in front of a runaway train, just to feel alive again.

Pushing forward through the night, aching just blow aside.

Aching just to blow aside, aching just to blow aside... ]

I was being shaken. My eyes blinked slightly before opened wide. I was staring at Abigail.

`` Darlin! `` I shot straight up as if I was on fire. She stared at me, blinking.

`` Darlin I missed you so. `` I got up and tried to embrace her but she stepped away. I frowned.

`` Abigail? What's wrong with you woman? `` She took another step, just staring before she dashed out the door. I ran after her. The house turned into an all out gang hideout. Men shooting at each other. I saw Abigail run into Jack's room. I dodged bullets and ran after her. I entered Jack's room to find Uncle laying on his bed.

`` You old coot, where the hell is Abigail? ``

He stared at me coldly, just like Abigail before he dissapeared.

Now I ain't one of thos scientist people but this all didn't seem right. I heard a voice behind me as all of the gunshots and rustling stopped. It was Jack.

`` Pa. ``

I turned.

`` Where's your ma and Uncle? ``

He stared at me just like the other two. It was a very unnerving stare that made me wish I was 6 feet under at Coot's chapel.

`` Pa. Follow me. ``

He moved out and seemed to float out the door. I followed, curious to find out where Uncle and Abigail had dissapeared too. He led me through the yard, past the barn and up on the hill.

When I got up there he joined Abigail who was standing, and Uncle who was laying.

`` God dammit, what in the hell is goin' on here! `` I shouted. The same stare from all three before Jack spoke.

`` Join us pa. You will soon. ``

All three began to chant `` join us `` at the same time.

``What the-..``

[ Step in front of a runaway train, just to feel alive again.

Pushing forward through the night, aching just blow aside. ]

I shook awake. I was in the middle of a small campsite. My horse was eating a bit of grass near me. The fire crackled as I sat up. It was night.

`` It must have all been a dream. `` I rubbed my sleep eyes before laying back down on the cold earth.

My heart ached for my family.

I wanted the government dead.

I sat up, feeling like I was being watched as I looked towards the empty plains I saw a man. It was the man who claimed he knew me from somewhere and always avoided my questions. I stared back before I hollered at him.

`` Whataya starin' at? ``

He dissapeared.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He musn't have been there at all, I must have been so tired I was dreaming. I layed back down and closed my eyes, my dreams drifted off to happier times with Jack and Abigail and a feeling washed over me.

I felt like they were gonna be safe.

That we were gonna be ok...and that soon, we would be whole and together again.

[ Aching just to blow aside, aching just to blow aside... ]

The end.