The title is slightly based on the song "Speak Now" by Taylor Swift only because well, Stevie speaks now what she feels. It started as something I'd never have the confidence to do and it blossomed into this. A little fluffy and maybe a bit OOC but I think that it's okay. I hope you guys like it! Rate / review / favorite? I'd love that.
When I'm looking at him, that's when I see you out of the corner of my eye, looking at me.
I should feel guilty that you're watching me watch him, because I swore two months ago that I was completely over him. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
Or I thought it wasn't.
For some reason or another, I've been gravitating more towards you. Maybe it's because I have a higher comfort level towards you; you've seen me at my strangest, and you're still perfectly okay with me.
At least, you act that way.
I can't tell whether or not you like me. You're hard to read. All I know is that you pass by me too many times to be a coincidence, too many times in a row to not care, and far too many stolen glances to be curious.
I know that I'm probably crazy to think this, but it could happen, can't it? It's a possibility. It's not completely unlikely. And sure, you're out with another girl every other night, but you still make time for me to sit beside you, rest my head on your shoulder, ask you any question at all.
Maybe you like me too.
Maybe it's the way that your face lights up when you're talking to me. I'm not the only one who's noticed it. And maybe you're supposed to be with a certain girl, but I can't help but want you with me. I know that there are people who "ship" you two, but what they don't ship is true love. What we have is true love.
I'm pretty certain of it right now.
I guess what I'm trying to say right now is, I want to know if you like me. I do. I honestly do. If you don't, then that's fine. I'll move on. Maybe I'll turn my attention back to him. But I have a feeling that he really isn't worth my attention, no matter what fate tries to tell me. No, actually, fate pulls us apart, because fate is the one making me gravitate towards you. Fate is making me fall in love with you.
You are making me fall in love with you.
So, as you read this, I just want you to tell me, straight up, if you love me too. I want you to, but don't feel obligated. Please. Don't. Feel like no matter what, you can tell me. Don't be scared about what I'll do, because I'll truly be fine. Maybe a little dejected at first, but I promise I'll be fine. I always seem to recover from the worst of things.
I know that it's hard for people to say. So many people are scared of love. But I'm not, and I hope you aren't either. No, I know you aren't. I know that you aren't. I know you aren't scared of love. So tell me if you love me.
Because I love you.
Zander found the letter in his locker, he knew exactly who sent it.
He caught Stevie glancing at Justin a few days before. And she caught him watching her. She was embarrassed, but not nearly as embarrassed as he was. He wasn't supposed to be side-glancing at Stevie. Stevie's his best friend, not his crush.
He didn't need life any more complicated than it was.
But the letter he received? Well those are different feelings that he thought. He felt his stomach sink. What did he feel towards Stevie? Was it merely just a crush or something more? Was it even a crush? Zander hadn't had a true crush in so long that he can't remember what it feels like.
And who's that girl he's supposed to be with? Molly? Kacey? He didn't like either of them in that way. Talk about psychotic girlfriends.
Zander's too careless for high-maintance girls. Which is why he has a crush on Stevie.
Wait, a crush?
So maybe he had a small crush on her, one that was hidden behind a ukulele and a plethora of different girls on various dates. Keep his options open, and he would maybe stop thinking about Stevie so much.
It's ironic, because the exact opposite happened.
His head began to pound, and he lost track of the time escaping around him. The once-crowded hallway was emptying as noise dissipated and kids filed into their respective classrooms. But Zander remained. He didn't know where he was going, what time it was, anything at all.
He had no idea what he was going to do.
Should he tell Stevie the truth, that he loved her too? Did he actually love her? Did he want her? He certainly felt like he needed her, but he could maybe just need her as a best friend, in the way a best friend would need his other best friend.
Who just happened to be a gorgeous, independent, very-stubborn female bassist.
The bell rang, and Zander decided upon only one thing.
He'd stop thinking about her. When he sees her, he'll know what to do. He's a smart kid, well, smart in the romance department, and he's never worried about something like that before. Why should he start now? What makes Stevie so special?
Everything.
Zander shakes the thought from his mind, an amused grin on his face. He can't believe his thoughts, and he refuses to believe the letter. Maybe it was just a prank, a joke, by Stevie or someone else. Someone else for sure. Stevie wouldn't do something like that; she wouldn't mess with his feelings.
I really am losing it if I think I love Stevie.
It's odd how the letter and Stevie never quite left his mind.
Stevie watched Zander from afar as he read her letter. She wanted him to go find her, but she could tell by the confused look on his face and his constant backwards glances that he didn't love her back. In fact, he was ashamed of her.
Nice going, Stevie. Ruining the best thing you've ever had.
She cannot believe she just ruined her friendship with Zander, the friendship that was easy and fun and amazing and absolutely flawless. Like the idea of them together, of "Zevie" happening. Stevie didn't loiter any longer; she went to class with a small frown on her face, but no tears. Never tears.
She's not weak.
So maybe she took a detour to the bathroom before class. It's only because she needs a quick pep talk - Zander's in her next class, after all - and a cheer up. But not to cry. Stevie Baskara does not cry. There will be other guys, ones who love her back. She doesn't need Zander.
But she knows that she does.
If only Zander realized how much he needs her. She's his rock, whenever he has a problem. She's Zander's inspiration for songs, help for homework, smile on a particularly crappy day. Zander needs her. It's never been the other way around.
She just keeps telling herself that, and maybe she'll believe it.
Leaving the bathroom, Stevie smirks slightly at her reflection. No tears. No frown. No evidence at all that her heart was just broken into more pieces than she could count. No evidence that she ruined everything she worked so hard for. No evidence that her life is changed for the worse. It's like the expression if you don't say something, maybe it's not true.
Stevie won't say a word.
Keeping Zander quiet will be the hard part. He and his fan girls and Kacey and Molly are probably laughing in the next period alreayd about the note, about how pathetic she is. Maybe she could lie and claim the note isn't from her, that it left Stevie the victim, framed.
But the letter had too many feelings.
Stevie walked quickly to class; she knew she was late, but she was in the bathroom. Surely the teacher would understand. She was always good at playing the "period" card.
Perks of being female.
But before she could enter the room, a cold hand grabbed her and pulled her away. She knew the hands all too well, their coldness, their feeling, their unlikely ... warmth ... because of their comforting familiarity.
"Stevie, we need to talk."
Zander's voice was stern and harsh, nothing like a guy who was at all in love with her, but for her own sake, not like a boy who was going to let her down easy. Was he really mad at her for pouring her heart out into a note for him? She would've used song, but she didn't want to sing them, let along hear the lyrics every time she's near Kacey.
Her embarrassment is a one-time thing.
Zander drags her into a janitor's closet and stands, blocking the door. As if Stevie would be stupid enough to try and leave. She's not that irrational. They need to talk. Stevie needs to hear Zander's side of the story.
But she doesn't.
No, she doensn't. She never gets to hear what he truly thinks of her, never gets to hear what his thoughts on the letter was. She never will know what his first thoughts were. She'll never know if he liked it or not.
Nope. Zander showed her instead.
He crashed his lips to hers, and they both felt something they never felt before; they experienced an out-of-body experience, like their souls were soaring in the sky, twisting and spinning and dancing with each other in zero-gravity. It was the best thing either of them ever felt.
"I love you, Stevana Baskara."
The full name brought Stevie back to Earth, and she realized what he just had said to her. They haven't had a proper date, but a causal kiss in the janitor's closet. But they both know what that kiss meant - they found their soul mate. So they wasted no time. And sure, Stevie's mother would be ashamed that her daughter was rushing so fast, but Stevie knows her dad will be happy with her telling the truth to Zander.
"I love you too, Zander Robbins. And I always will."
Review and tell me what you think. I'd much appreciate that.
-AWorldWellNeverFind
