A/N: THIS IS STAYING A ONESHOT. A little What If.

What if…Ed and Envy's situations had been reversed, then Ed had gotten Envy's arm and leg?

"Pride! Open the damn door!"

"My name is EDWARD, dammit."

Lust sighed. "We've been over this again and again."

"I like the name Edward!"

"I mean the killing. There's no room for mercy."

The door opened. A homunculus with long, blond hair glared at the younger homunculus. "I used to be human. Why should I kill anyone who gets in my way?"

"You've sworn to kill William Elric."

"Not kill, just torture until he wants to die."

Lust rolled her eyes. Pride's mood swings were legendary, as well as his enormous appetite, only rivaled by Gluttony's. However, he hated killing unless it was someone who really, REALLY pissed him off. For example, his half-brother William Elric.

"By the way, Dante wants you to take his pocket watch."

Pride – excuse me, Ed – shrugged. "Eh. Where is he?"

"Rizenbul. He's getting his automail fixed."

Ed chortled. "Again?"

Lust glared pointedly at him, and nudged her head towards the door.

"Right. Sorry." Ed pulled on his favourite black jacket and hopped through the window, with a parting comment of, "Doors are for boring people."

"Oh, for god's sake, don't forget another screw."

Winry whacked her friend's brother on the head with her screwdriver. 'I won't, asshole. Seriously, Al, how do you live with this bastard palm tree as a brother?"

"I'm sure I don't know. But Brother, you don't really mean what you say, right?"

William Elric had his metal arm laid out on the arm of the chair. His green spiked hair, naturally blonde, earned him his nickname of palm-tree from almost everyone he met. He was kind towards his brother, and not many others – in fact, if the Fullmetal Alchemist was after you, your wish would be that someone else would kill you quickly.

However, to his few friends and his brother, he was known as Envy, for his hate of people that had what he didn't. An arm, a leg, a mother…a father.

"Excuse me." A hand tapped Winry on the shoulder. She turned and screamed.

Ed winced. "Ow. I was just gonna ask for his pocket watch."

Envy chuckled darkly. "I was wondering when you were gonna turn up. You're not getting this without a fight."

Ed sighed. "I suppose the peaceful approach won't work. Oh, by the way, you are an asshole." He clapped his hands and slammed them against the floor. Envy narrowly dodged the stone cage that came up for him, and replied with a kick to the blond's head.

"Ow." Ed transformed his hand into a thin blade, and neatly hooked it into the chain of the State Alchemist watch. "Thanks. Oh, and by the way, that miniskirt is really short. Isn't that against military regulations?" Laughing at his own joke, Ed made his escape.

"Oh shit…" Ed was face to face with Sloth.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO TORTURING HIM?"

Ed shrugged. "Dunno." His face turned serious. "I guess when push came to shove, my heart wasn't in it."

Sloth's expression softened. It was so hard to forget that Pride's mind was still that of a teenager, the age he'd been when his father had tried to revive him, then abandoned. "When Dante orders you to kill him, will you be able to do it?"

"Well, yeah. He's a real asshole. The younger brother…Alphonse. Please, no matter what happens, let him live."

"I can't promise that, Pride."

"Edward!" he snarled. "I am not like you. I don't care if I'm not human anymore, I will never enjoy killing."

Then he disappeared into the night. Sloth watched him disappear, wondering what the oldest homunculus was up to now.

She needn't have bothered. Ed merely sat by a small river, looking at his reflection. The red tattoos declared his identity to all and sundry – while he covered up as many as possible with long pants, a jacket and gloves, he had to transform into someone else to go anywhere incognito.

He hated his power, preferring to use the wondrous gift of alchemy he had from Envy's arm and leg. "Who am I if I can change myself? I wish…I wish I had had William's chance."

Far away, someone heard his wish.

A/N: AWW I wasn't expecting it to be so sweet. My heart just melted. Yes, it's kind of Pride!Ed…I like the concept and how he looks, but the personality just didn't do it for me. Plus, I had to keep the outfit XD. Yes, Envy still wears his miniskirt and tank-top, since that's part of his persona.

I may do more of these switcheroos – they're fun. Hiromu Arakawa did an Ed/Al switch in one of the manga-comics, so I won't do that one.

Length: 693 words