The entire way to the hospital, my hands were clenched on the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. This could not be happening. Not now, not to him.
It had just been a normal Thursday night, waiting for my boyfriend to get home, when I had received a phone call saying that he was in the hospital. They wouldn't tell me anything more than that over the phone, so I had jumped in the car and was now speeding down the streets.
Just my luck, there was a massive traffic jam on the way to the hospital, and I groaned loudly as I pulled up behind the car in front of me. My fingers tapped against the steering wheel impatiently as I hoped and prayed that this was all a dream.
Twenty excruciatingly long minutes later, I was moving again. Once I reached my destination, I parked the car, ran across the parking lot, and burst through the doors. Every person in the room turned towards me and I stopped, realizing how crazy I probably looked.
As calmly as I could, I walked up to the front desk where the annoyingly perky receptionist smiled at me. "Can I help you miss?"
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Why else would I be standing here? I thought to myself. Out loud I said to her, "Yes, I would like to see Zayn Malik please."
She rifled through her files pain-stakingingly slow, sending my fingers tapping against the counter. The lady looked up at me, the perky look gone off her face as she glared at my fingers. "Are you related to him?"
"I'm his girlfriend," I stated, realizing only after the fact that I probably should have said yes.
"Then you can't see him. Blood relatives only as of right now," she said, an evil glint in her eyes. Obviously she was enjoying this way more than a hospital receptionist should enjoy this.
My eyes widened for a split second before narrowing at her. "They called me. They called saying that my boyfriend was in the hospital and no one would tell me why. And now I drive all the way over here just to find out that I can't see him? I don't think so. I will see him. Now."
She opened her mouth to respond when a doctor walked into the waiting room. "Are you Chloe Anderson?" he asked, looking up from his clipboard at us.
I nodded slowly, my brows furrowed. "Come with me please," he said, turning and walking away. I started to follow him, but turned back towards the lady behind the desk and not so subtly flipped her off. Her jaw dropped and I grinned for a second, relishing the victory.
The grin dropped off my face as the doctor explained what had happened. Apparently Zayn had been driving home when, out of nowhere, a guy sped through a red light, crashing straight into the side of Zayn's car.
Much to my disgust, the other guy had gotten off with a few scrapes and bruises, while my boyfriend was currently in the hospital. The doctor also told me that while Zayn might look normal from the outside, the damage was mostly internal and as of right now, things didn't look good.
We stopped outside Zayn's room and the doctor gave me a gentle smile before walking away. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door, bracing myself for what was about to happen.
I poked my head around the door, happy that it was empty except for the boy lying in the bed. I walked the rest of the way into the room and he turned towards me, that same familiar smile on his face. "Chloe, you came!"
"Of course I came! What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't?" I replied, smiling at him as I walked over to his bed side and took a seat. "You look great," I told him, slightly surprised that the doctor had been right in saying that there was almost no outward damage.
Zayn chuckled quietly, "And I feel like shit, so there you go." He said it in a teasing matter, but I knew him well enough to see the true pain in his eyes.
Even the thought of him being in pain made tears well up in my eyes and Zayn reached out and took a hold of my hand. "Hey, don't cry."
I looked up at him, my hand clenching his. "Just promise me that everything is going to be okay. Please, just tell me it's going to be okay," I whispered, my voice desperate.
There was a long pause before he sighed heavily, "I can't make that promise Chloe. The doctor said it didn't look good and I have no idea what's going to happen. So I can't tell you that it's going to be okay because I don't know if it will be."
It took less than a second for me to burst into tears after hearing what Zayn had to say. Never, in our entire two year relationship, had he ever admitted not knowing. He was my rock, the one I could always count on to reassure and comfort me. To hear him sound so unsure was heartbreaking.
The grip on my hand tightened slightly as Zayn struggled to sit up. "Please don't cry honey, please. You're going to be okay. That I can promise. You are going to be fine," he said soothingly, pulling me into a hug.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I buried my face in his neck. "You can't die. You can't." I sobbed into his shirt.
"I don't really have a choice in the matter Chloe…" he sighed into my hair, rubbing my back gently.
I jumped up, probably scaring the crap out of Zayn, suddenly angry. "No damn it! You can't die! You don't understand, you fucking can't."
"Chloe, are you okay?" Zayn asked his eyes wide, quiet in the midst of my rage. He could count on one hand how many times he had heard me swear, so when I did he knew something was seriously wrong.
His words were enough to make me freeze, all anger draining from my body as I dropped into one of the chairs. I held my head in my hands, my shoulders shaking as I started to cry again.
He placed a light hand on my shoulder. "What's the matter babe?" My head snapped up, frowning slightly. "Ok, besides the obvious."
I took a deep, shaky breath and Zayn squeezed my shoulder slightly. "I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't know what you would do, but…" I paused for a second, my eyes glued to the floor as I spoke quietly. "Shit Zayn…I'm pregnant."
There was a long pause and my eyes slowly rose to look at my boyfriend. The look on his face was unreadable and my stomach dropped. "Say something, please?" I whispered.
He ran a shaky hand over his face, looking far worse than he had when I walked in. "Are you really?" I nodded, looking away. There was another, shorter pause before Zayn lifted my chin with his finger. When my eyes met his, a slow smile grew on his face.
"You're not mad?" I asked, a little confused.
"Of course not! Why would I be mad?" Zayn answered, his smile growing as he held my hands.
I shrugged, not being able to help the tiny smile on my face. "Because we're not married. Because we're only nineteen and twenty years old. Because maybe you didn't want kids. I don't know."
He shook his head, "Oh sweetheart, none of that matters. I love you and would have loved to have a family with you," he said with a sad smile on his face.
Any happiness that had surrounded this moment instantly left when I realized what he had just said. I bit my lip and ducked my head, trying my best not to start crying again.
"Shit, sorry Chloe. I didn't mean to…I'm sorry. Come here," he muttered, pulling on me until I got up and even then he kept pulling me closer. "Come on, onto the bed."
I hesitated, not knowing if that was allowed before sighing and climbing in next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and we lied there silently for a while.
A sudden thought occurred to me and I lifted my head to look at Zayn. "Where are the boys at?"
"I told the nurses not to let them up here until after I had seen you. But I'm sure they're around, anxiously waiting to hear what's going on," he answered.
"You mean they don't know what happened?" I asked incredulously. Just remembering how freaked out I had been when I had gotten the phone call, I couldn't imagine what they were thinking right now.
"Oh, they know. They just can't come up here yet," Zayn replied, trying to pull me down next to him again. "Don't worry about it; I made sure someone told them." I nodded slightly and rested my head on his chest again.
It made me feel a little better knowing that the boys weren't completely in the dark about the situation. Those four boys, Liam, Niall, Harry, and Louis, were Zayn's best friends. They had met three years ago at a summer camp and had been nearly inseparable ever since. I had never gotten close with any of them, but I knew how much they meant to Zayn and how much he meant to them.
I snuggled closer to him, kissing his cheek as he wrapped his arm around my waist. He pressed his lips against the top of my head, letting them linger there for a moment. "I love you baby," he whispered.
My eyes squeezed shut against the tears forming as I clenched his t-shirt in my hand. "Zayn…" I whispered quietly, my eyes still shut tight.
"What's up babe?" he asked, sounding sleepy as his thumb rubbed against my arm.
"You need to let the boys come up here. Now," I said, knowing that even though I wanted Zayn to myself, his best friends deserved some time with him too.
Zayn sighed slightly before I felt him nod. "You're probably right. I'll get one of the nurses to send them up."