I Swear, It Wasn't Me!

By: Raven

Ah...my first X-over! Anyway...a lot of my friends are included in this. Expect ALOT of randomness, m'kay?

-Chapter One: Shopping-

Sam, Becca, and Liza were playing Blackjack. "Fold," Liza placed her hand down, in other words, she went over 21.

Sam smirked. "Double" and Becca dealt her two more cards. "Blackjack!" Sam cried, and showed her hand: An ace and two fives (Ace is an 11 and the 10 equals 21).

"Damn," Becca and Liza grunted, and Sam grabbed the pile of five-dollar bills, and two Full Metal Alchemist DVDs and Mangas, and a poster of the cast in the DOOM series of Yu-Gi-Oh.

Ed came out of the kitchen, swallowing a piece of rock candy. "Who won?" He asked, and then saw Sam smirking. "Ah. Well then, Texas Hold 'Em, anyone?"

They were about to answer, when a knock at the door interrupted them. Outside, lightning slashed the sky. Sam blinked, and went to open the door. A guy with spiky brown hair, goggles, and a biker jacket stood in the door way with a red-head, and a blonde.

"Ok...this is random," Sam muttered, and then said, "If you want to play Texas Hold Em, come in, if not, get lost." She moved to close the door, but a foot stopped the door's path.

"We'll play," Varon grinned.

"Good. The three of us playing was getting boring." Sam opened the door fully, and the trio stepped in.

Becca called, "Who is it?"

"Varon, Alister, and Rafael."

"You let three complete strangers in the mansion?" Liza poked her head around the corner.

"It was getting boring with me winning every round on Black Jack, Poker, Midnight Baseball, Spoons, and whatever other card game you can think of. And I almost one your Ferrari, if you remember," Sam shot back.

Liza frowned, and said, "Good point. Maybe this time you'll actually lose."

"Very funny."

Varon cut in, "You won a Ferrari from her?"

"Ja, Deutschland Poker!"

"What?" Alister asked, frowning.

"German Poker," Sam shuffled the deck as Ed watched. In fact, Lust, Wrath, Envy, Al, Winry, and Dante came out to watch.

"Finally," Envy grinned, "Some excitement!"

"Shove it, Palm tree," Sam growled, and started dealing.

Ed laughed, and Envy called Ed the dreaded 'C' word—Chibi.

"Right, let's start!" Sam dealt the first cards. Becca growled, she had to bet first—the small blind. Then Liza bet the big blind. Sam put on a visor, and a toothpick in her mouth to complete the 'Poker Look'. Becca and Liza did the same.

After several rounds of betting, Alister put down his cards at the same time as Sam, saying, "Royal Flush!"

"No way!" Varon looked over both of their cards.

"Nope," Sam grinned. "Let's see... we both have AKQJ10, which means we split the pot, or we can play another round between the two of us..."

Liza whispered, "You don't want to do that, if she loses, she'll whack you with Winry's wrench." Sam hid a giant wrench behind her back, and whistled innocently.

"Right...I think we'll split," Alister muttered.

"Good choice!" Sam picked out the mangas and DVDs, and the CDs. "You can have the rest. I already own this house anyway."

The storm had finally lightened up, and another knock was heard. "You're popular, aren't you, Sammie?"

"Actually, that's Izumi."

A crash was heard as Ed and Al fled the room. Varon, Rafael, and Alister stared. "What's there problem?"

"Izumi, they think it's their Sensei," Becca snickered.

"I'll go get it. She'll probably traumatize the rest of you." Sam got up.

"Why?"

"She's bi-sexual."

"Meaning...?" Varon made a face.

"She can like either boys or girls." Sam opened the door.

"Ugh..."
"I wouldn't say that in front of her," a girl with blue hair growled, and balled her fists.

"ED! AL! IT'S NOT YOUR TEACHER! YOU DUMMYS, GET DOWN HERE!" Liza called up the very long, winding, and spiral-y staircase. (I'd be dizzy...)

Sam got that look. "Guys...how about we host a party?"

Liza and Becca got the same idea. "Great idea, Sam!"

"I'll get the guest list ready! Envy, you and the others get the decor set up! Becca, you supervise! Liza, you get the food list ready! Also, supervise these three"—she gestured to Varon, Alister and Rafael—"And teach them how to make party snacks. I'll set up the game, music and video system in the basement. Right, let's get started!"

The people bustled off.

"Well, aren't she organized?" Varon muttered.

"You'd better listen. Last time Ed and Al didn't, they were sent to the Emergency with some pretty nasty burns," Liza laughed.

"Um...Who's she going to invite?"
"Her friends online and some friends from school."

"Ah...girls?"

"And boys. Izumi's friends are coming as well."

"Are any of them...you know..."

Liza paused, and tapped her chin, thinking. "There is one...I think."

"Who?" Alister popped up behind Liza.

"Azzy and Yoshi. They are guys, and gay. But they are nice."

Rafael coughed, Varon looked nervous.

"You wouldn't want Izumi to hear that." Liza sat down on the mahogany chair, and started writing with a quill on a piece of paper.

"Let's see, we'll invite...Azzy, Yoshi, UK, Kirei, Rhiannon, Alyssa, Anthony—just to piss Sam off, Michael—to piss Sam off even more, Brandi, Taylor, Claire, Patricia, Megan, Nishta, Amy, Amy, Fruitcake, Icy, Ellen, Laura, Kira, Lyra, Neko, Brianne, Liara, and Kori!"

Sam walked past, carrying an armload of CDs. "Liz, what do you think of these"

"Linkin Park, Evanescence, Destiny's Child, Vitamin C, Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, Gwen Stefani...Spice Girls, Ciara, Eminem, Black Eyed Peas, Green Day, Naoki, Lindsay Lohan, Papa Roach, and Vanessa Carlton? Good choices." Liza flicked through the albums.

"Great! I'll burn and mix these now, alright?"
"Go ahead. And you're including J-Pop, right?"

"Yup." Sam bustled off.

"Oh, Sam! Don't forget Alicia Keys, Pussy Cat Dolls, and Missy Elliot, My Chemical Romance!"

"K!"

Rafael stared.

"Missy Elliot?" Alister asked.

"Yup. Most famous with Sam for Gossip Folks. Missy Elliot is awesome, as well as Ciara. They rock, I tell you."

"Oh."

Uncomfortable silence.

"Oh, gotta invite Kelly and Cecily! And Shade, um...I think that's it." Liza folded the envelopes.

"Ah...Liza?" Varon poked her.

"Yes?"

"Who are the girls anyway?"
Liza coughed 'Hell', but they ignored it.

"Some...friends."

"Oh."

"IZUMI! DON'T WHACK ENVY!" A giant crash, and seconds later, Ed, Al, Envy and Wrath were gathered at the door of the Kitchen, squished.

"Um..." Varon stared.

"That's normal. Ignore them." Liza went back to her list. Then, stopping, she said, "Well, time for you guys to learn how to cook!"

Alister stared in horror.

"Liz! You don't mind System of a Down and Coldplay, do you? Izumi asked."

"No, they're fine!"

"Good!"

"Right, let's start with drinks. We have a bunch of soda, sparkling water, and what not in the closet over there." Liza pointed to a door, which when opened, revealed a room about the size of a normal person's bedroom.

Rafael let out a low whistle. "Who owns this place?"

Liza poked her head in. "Sam. She inherited it from...lemme see, her Uncle from her mom's side...He's a doctor and his son is a lawyer...so. You can imagine."

"Sure can," Alister commented, and began heaving cases of soda out. "Why does Sam have this many soda's anyway?"

"She's...ah, a bit of a sugar freak. Mainly because she plays DDR five hours a day. Oh, yeah, she's also hosting a video competition, as well. Mandatory."

"She's busy for a twelve-year old."

"You're telling me," Liza started opening the bottles of soda. "She works in a real-estate agency, owns two businesses, and still manages to get straight A's at school. Then again, she has a manager to help her with the businesses."

"Busy."
"Um-hm."

"So...what about the beers? Do we get those?"

"Leave them. She's going to give them away. If you guys want them, go ahead." Liza started mixing some of them with Chardonnay, but left the others.

"While you're there, head to the right, and bring out some of the boxes marked 'C' will you?"

"Ugh..."

"Oh, and bring out the boxes marked 'X', 'V', 'Z', and 'F', 'D', 'H', and 'P'."

"Why do you want all those boxes?" Varon grunted as he put the load of boxes he was carrying on the ground.

"Why, they hold the ingredients you guys are going to cook with!"

"Damn," Alister muttered.

"Cooking's not that bad. At least Sam's not force-feeding you caviar."

Varon twitched his eye, but set the boxes down. "Why are they marked with letters?"

"How the hell should I know?" Liza went to opening the boxes, and tossing out what not. "Oh, yeah, there's a refrigerated section. Bring out the boxes marked, 'C', and 'M'."

"More letters!" Rafael groaned.

"Deal with it," Sam growled, suddenly popping out of nowhere.

"Where the hell did you come from?" A surprised Alister leapt back.

"The voices in my head told me." She grinned maniacally.

"Varon, I take back what I said. You don't belong in an asylum. She does!" Alister pointed a finger at the girl.

"Oh, yeah, we'll also have to head to Blockbuster's to rent some movies. You guys coming?"

"They can go, Sam. I'll get the stuff ready. They'll cook when they get back."

"Alright. ISAAC! WE'RE HEADING TO BLOCKBUSTERS!" Sam said into a walkie-talkie.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Alrighty then! Let's go! Liza, any particular movies?"

"Anything BESIDES horror. You have an unhealthy horror movie addiction." Liza was chopping up some carrots.

"Do not!"

"Whatever."

"Winry, we're ready!"

"Alright, let me finsh up Ed's arm, real quick! Nevermind, done!"

"Hurry up!"

"Coming!" Steps padded down, and the blonde appeared. "Got your Platinum Visa?"

"You bet. C'mon guys. So, what movies, Winry?"

"I'm thinking some comedy...and something animated for Wrath. He's a sweet kid when you get past the 'I'm going to kill you' attitude."

"You mean like Envy?"

"You know...we should rent Monster In Law! That was supposed to be a good movie."

"I'm renting the Omen series. It's supposed to be pretty good."

Varon perked up. "Omen? With Damien?"

"You saw that?" Sam twitched.

"No. But it's supposed to be good. Silence of the Lambs is good too."

"It's so sad, you rarely get any good horror movies these days." Sam fiddled with her cell phone. "Ok, here's the deal. Go around, and get any movie you want. Meet me at the cash register in...15 minutes. Grab popcorn, food, whatever. Just be here in time for me to check out. Got it? Good."

The trio split, leaving Winry and Sam to look around. "Oh, Up Town Girl's good!" Winry squealed, and held the box.

"Good! I wanted to see that movie. Hey...how about Legally Blond?"

"Alright! Hm...what else. Lord of the Rings? All three of them?" Winry examined them.

"Alright! Freaky Friday? The Incredibles is good! Oh, I always wanted to see this one!" She held up a box, and it read 'Alien'.

"Um...alright. Hey, is I, Robot good?" Winry examined the back.

"Yeah, it's a good Sci-fi."

"Oh, ok!"

"The Butterfly Effect. Sounds good."

"It sounds pretty. Butterflies are awesome." Winry examined some shelves, and then crouched down to the lowest one.

"Hey, look. This one. 'The Thing'. It looks real dusty. Wanna check it out?"

"Ooooh, sure!" Sam bent down, and blew away the dust. "Eugh, this is just creepy. Gotta rent it."

"Um...if you say so. Ooh, fifteen minutes almost up! One last movie...How about Snow White: A Tale of Terror?"

"Ok. C'mon, let's hurry!" The duo rushed to the cash register, just in time as Varon and Alister came up.

"Where's Rafael?"

"Outside..." Varon handed Sam the movies.

"Lemme guess, with a girl beautiful beyond comprehension?" Sam gave a sigh.

"Yeah...how'd you know?"

"Mary-Sues." Sam gave a sigh.

"Uh..."

"Here, Winry, here's my card. Pay for it, I'll be back in a bit." With that, Sam stalked out to deal with the Mary-Sue.

Sam was right. The girl was so beautiful, it was a bitch, I mean, pain in the butt to look at her.

Sam got rid of her the easy way—her handy dandy: FLAME THROWER! Then she went back inside

"All set!" She grinned, and hid her portable flame thrower inher back pocket.

"Hey, what's that?" Alister grabbed her wrist, at the same time a horde of shrieking girls rounded the corner.

"EHMAGAWD! SEE! I TOLD YOU, ALICIA! I TOLD YOU THEY WERE HERE!" A girl pointed a shaking finger at Varon and Alister.

"Now," Sam yanked her wrist out of Alister's grip, "Would be a good time to run."

And Alister and Varon did so.

"GET THEM!" A girl shrieked, and began chasing after Varon and Alister.

"CAN YOU TWO RUN ANY SLOWER?" Winry shrieked at the two guys, who were lagging.

"Damn," Sam muttered. The Horde was gaining. "Isaac! Floor it!" She screamed when they all got in the limo. Isaac screamed down the road at ninety miles per hour.

Sam relaxed, and opened the bag. "What DVDs did you guys get?"

"Um...a lot." Varon shrugged. Sam flipped through the DVDs, as if counting them.

"Forty DVDs, not bad for...fifty dollars! Hm." Sam looked at the receipt. "With this many DVDs, we might as well have a sleep over!" She looked over at Winry.

Winry gasped, "That's a brilliant idea!"

Alister groaned, "We don't have to share rooms with girls, do we?"

"Heck no." Sam shuddered. "My mind isn't that twisted, even after Human Growth and Development! Although I did maintain a certain amount of scarring from that..."

"I don't want to hear it," Rafael groaned, almost being run over from the Horde.

"Good. Now...let's see...how many sleeping bags, Winry?"

"At least...40." Winry consulted her list.

"Liza's inviting that many people?"

"Including Anthony..." Winry blushed.

"Great." Sam pulled out another list.

"Great? I thought you hated Anthony!" Winry looked surprised.

"I do. But..." Sam checked something off. "I decided, we might as well have some fun if he's coming over."

"I like the way you think, Akane." Winry grinned. Varon looked around, checking if there was another person in the car.

"Uh...Akane's...how should I say this? She's my split personality." Sam laughed, but there was a different look in her eyes.

Something more psychotic.

"Yeah...Especially after to kicked Envy in the place. Sam would not do that. Akane would though, right?"

"Yeah..." Sam looked uncomfortable. "And like Akane torched my psychiatrist...That was pretty nasty."

"I'll say." Winry went back to her list. "We'll need forty free rooms, unless Brandi and her friends decide to share, forty sleeping bags, and...A hell lot of cups, and make up."

"Make up?" Sam looked puzzled, but then she gave a devious smirk, "I see. Yeah, we'll have to go shopping today, don't we, Winry?"

"Yup!" Varon, Alister, and Rafael had a very...bad feeling in their gut.

"Oh, speaking, I got the new CosmoGirl quiz book!" Sam exclaimed.

"Ooh, we have so got to check that out! Did Becca and Liza see it yet?"

"No, we have to get together and check it out. But I already took one quiz. And I subscribed to Teen Vogue, Elle Girl, and Seventeen. I also got something for you Winry." Sam dug around in her purse, and pulled out a book.

"It's a complete guide to auto mail! Thank you!" Winry gave Sam a hug. Varon stared.

Girls can be very odd sometimes.

The two started whispering, sometimes shooting covert looks at the guys. Suddenly, Sam gave a loud, "WHAT!"

"We'll talk about it later."

"Ms. Akane, we're here." Isaac rolled down the soundproof glass barrier.

"Thank you, Isaac." Sam smiled. Winry and Sam whispered the entire time to the door.

Varon and Alister whispered too, trying to figure out what their saying. Rafael just walked, still mentally scarred by the Mary Sue. Gee, no wonder. Imagine being attacked by a HORDE OF MARY SUES! OH THE HORROR! RUN AWAY HIDE IN THE HOUSES HIDE THE KIDS!

Anyway.

"Becca! Liza! We're back!" Sam dropped the movies on the hardwood floor.

"SAAAAAAAAAM! YOU DIDN'T RENT THAT ONE MOVIE DID YOU!"

"What movie?"
"The...the...THE THING!"

"Uh...I did, why?"

Screams. "Everyone's here already?"

"Yeah...and they've been dying for you to come home with..." Becca eyed Varon and Alister.

"Ah...well, tell them they're off limits, and no amount of whining or any bullshit's going to change my mind."

"Fine. OI, BRANDI! SHE'S SAYS THEY AREN'T OPEN!"

A high-pitched voice replied, but they couldn't hear her. "Well then, looks like they started without us. Winry, grab some of the DVDs, will you?"

"Sure." Winry helped, and after five minutes, they reached the next floor. "Becca, Liza? Hey, give us a hand!" Two blonde-haired women plowed out of a nearby room, rushed past the two girls in need, and immediately stopped in front of the boys. They stared, and then they zoomed immediately back into the room from which they came.

"Was that normal?" Rafael asked.

"Yes. They...well, let's just say you're in for an interesting night if we watch horror movies." Sam pushed up her glasses, and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"If you say so...hey, wait a minute, they didn't just hit on us, did they?" Alister did a double take.

"Bingo!" Winry mimicked Botan.

"Well, like I said, this is going to be a fun night!" Sam walked into the room, to be ambushed by the same girls giggling:

"Ehmygawd, Sam, I never knew you had such cute friends! Can you introduce us sometime?"

"Sorry Brandi, no. They're ah...Varon's my...ah...you know, and Alister's Liza's BF."

They squealed, but Sam realized her mistake. "Oh, crap." She rushed out of the room, closed the door, and leaned against hit, breathing.

"What?" Alister asked.

"I made the biggest mistake ever..." Sam panted.

"Which would be?"

"Ever had a girlfriend?" Sam shot back.

Varon and Alister paled. "Congrats, Alister, you're Liza's new girlfriend." She laughed, her voice unnaturally high.

"And me...?"

"What makes you think that?" Sam looked panicked.

"Well, if you didn't say anything about me, you would let me in." He looked smug.

"No!"

"Told you, mate!" Varon held out his hand, and Alister handed him a twenty-dollar bill.

"So, what'd you say about me?"

"The first thing that came to my mind..." She muttered, and blushed.

"You," Alister said, and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, unless I could say I dumped you, and you could be taken by a rabid slut."

"Never mind." Varon waved his hands.

"Alrighty then...stay out here, and I'll talk to Liza about this bullshit I got us into." Sam opened the door, poked her head in, and grabbed Liza out, then closed the door and locked it.

"Alright, Liza, let me drag you somewhere private."

"Wha—why?" Liza asked, looking disturbed.

"Let's just say...you have a new boyfriend."

"Who? No, not one of them—!"

"Actually, it's Alister."

"Why the hell did you do this, Sam?"

"You'd actually let them be taken over by Mary Sues and rabid fangirls? You know as a member of MSBRA we can't let that happen!"

"Good point. Fine, just to protect anime and manga from rabid people." Liza rolled her eyes.

The two girls walked back, shook hands, and Sam opened the door.

A new banner hung across the room: CONGRATS NEW COUPLES!

"This is just shit." Sam tore down the banner with her flamethrower, and then took out a DVD. "Anyone up for 'The Omen'?" Sam announced.

A flurry of whispers, and suddenly groups of people re-arranged themselves into pairs—one boy and one girl, except for Azzy and Yoshi (both boys). Sam grinned, and opened a panel in the wall: revealing a theater size screen, and Sam inserted the DVD.

She sat down, and grabbed some popcorn, sitting with Alister, Varon, and Liza.

"Let the nightmare begin!" She snickered.

--

Wow, 17 pages! That's a lot for me. XD Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! I'll update soon, but it'll take me awhile. I'm making a goal! 14-20 pages per chapter. And this fic'll be relatively short. It just spans a week as a sleepover, and the after math. So, hope you enjoy!

REVIEW!

-Raven