Stress Reliever
By: Hiza-chan
Disclaimer: I do not own the Marauders.
Summary: On a pleasant Autumn day, James and Sirius decide to bestow upon Remus the honor of knowing how they relieve their stress. Suffice to say, they did not plan on Remus' reaction. One-shot
Warnings: Slash, Tiny Peter bashing if you squint, hints of threesome… yeah.
Autumn was fast approaching Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Sirius mused. You could almost taste it in the air, the bite of cold not quite as fierce as that of the winter but sharp enough to nip you to the bones regardless. The leaves had begun to turn from the luscious emerald green of summer to the rainbows of warmth that is fall.
James was seated next to Peter beneath the large oak that the four rested under, his back resting against the trunk. Sirius himself was lying on his back in the crisp grass, feet in Remus's lap as the boy read.
Peter was frowning and flicking his wand at a bowtruckle that was cackling gleefully at the boy's failure.
"Oh! I don't understand! Why. Wont. You. Turn. INTO A LEAF!" he yelled at the bowtruckle, beginning to rap his wand against the poor creature's spindly body. The bowtruckle stopped cackling and growled reproachfully before pulling free one "Arm" and raking sharp talons across the chubby boy's hand.
Peter yelped and dropped the creature, clutching his bleeding appendage close to his body. Sirius snorted at the boy's idiocy. He had never liked the boy all that much. That had been James and Remus' job, but as the years had worn on he had grown accustomed to having the boy around constantly, and didn't mind him quite as much anymore. Though, there were still times when he could not fathom just how the boy could be so incredibly idiotic.
This was one of those times.
Remus threw him a reproachful look before closing his book with those gentle hands of his. Shoving Sirius' feet off his lap he leaned forward so that he was leaning across Sirius, retrieved his wand from his pocket and gripped Peter's wrist.
Sirius had frozen the moment the other male had leaned across him, the boy's scent washing over him like a tidal wave suddenly forcing him under.
Remus tapped his wand against Peter's wrist and muttered a short incantation that immediately stopped the blood flow. Sirius, by now composing himself smirked and slid his hand up Remus' neck to rest on the nape of his neck, fingering the threads of silky gold.
Remus tensed and Sirius smirked leaning close to his ear.
"Oh Remus…" he purred, sliding the hand that wasn't tangled in Remus' hair up his thigh. Remus shivered as Sirius' breath ghosted over the flesh of his ear and cheek, and Sirius felt the shiver vibrate up his leg.
James glanced over at the two as Sirius moaned with such feeling that sounded as if he was having an actual orgasm and chuckled at the look of pure horror on Remus' face.
"Come on you two, get a room!" he laughed, throwing a stick at them.
Sirius snickered and lay back down, removing his hands from Remus. Remus looked shaky, he noticed, glancing through half-lidded eyes at the other sixteen year old.
James sighed and sat up, pulling away from the rough bark of the oak to rest his head on his knees and stare at Remus and Sirius.
"Honestly Remus, you seriously need to get shagged a couple of times… it'll… relieve some tension… you know… make you… loosen up," James smirked at the now bright red werewolf. Crawling over to the two with a devious smirk painted across his face he planted himself in Sirius' lap and twirled several obsidian strands around his fingers.
"See… take Padfoot here as an example. Last year, we were both terribly tense people. You remember, we got into fights constantly? And then all of a sudden it just… vanished… just like that?" James winked and Remus gaped, and from behind the other three Peter dropped into a dead faint.
"You mean… you two…?"
"Shagged?" Sirius finished with a laugh. "Yeah, we shagged, it was a very nice stress reliever and there's just something so incredibly refreshing about the fact that when you licked the shell of Prongsies ear, like so…" he paused to run his tongue over the outer shell of James' ear…
"You get tackled." He grinned from his position pinned between a suddenly very aroused James and Remus' lap.
James glared at him and got off of him, crossing his arms over his chest and frowning at him.
Sirius laughed.
"So… you two are… dating?" Remus asked in a small voice, brows coming together in a small frown.
"Naw, even back then all we were to each other was friends who from time to time shagged each other senseless… and we don't even shag anymore. Mainly because neither of us have stress problems at this moment in time but hey, that's okay, right Prongs?" he said, draping an arm around James' shoulder.
Remus pouted, before seeming to finally realize that Peter was no longer in residency of the waking world and had a trail of blood trickling from his nose.
"….I think you two killed Peter…" he giggled, poking Peter with a foot.
"Naw, his hormones just went psycho at the idea of me and Prongs having sex." Sirius grinned.
Remus shook his head and looked back up at the castle, cocking his head to the side.
"So… maybe we should get back to the castle, it's getting kinda chilly out here…"
"And what, leave Peter here in the cold?" James asked innocently, batting his eyelashes in a playful if not a bit flirtatious manner.
Remus grinned suddenly, and James and Sirius both frowned, taken aback by the sudden predatory glint in their friend's eyes.
"But of course. If his hormones went on a rampage from just thinking about you and James having sex, imagine him witnessing… oh I don't know… maybe a three way shag?"
Sirius and James just stared at him for a moment, before glancing at each other and smirking, getting to their feet simultaneously, both dusting off their robes.
"Remus my boy, we are going to make it IMPOSSIBLE for you to be stressed ever again!" James said, wrapping an arm around the smaller boy's shoulder.
Sirius giggled for a moment before wrapping his arm around Remus' other shoulder.
He snickered.
"This is gonna be so much fun!"
A/N: Random. And completely pointless. And may I say extremely odd, I actually wont be surprised if someone flames me for this. I mean, they're so slutty… I just had the oddest urge to write a Marauder fic in Autumn… and it just carried itself and somehow arrived at the conclusion of a James/Remus/Sirius threesome. Oo Which I have never had the urge to write or read before. Shakes head
Also terribly written, but I hope SOMEONE got some amusement out of the idea of the three of them having sex… review even if you don't like it. Just don't pointlessly say "IT SUCKED" explain why it sucked. Smiles Have a nice day!