A/N: I was listening to "Butterfly Kisses" by West Life and I just couldn't stop crying! This is made inspired by that song. I somehow feel that not many are going to read this, but for those that clicked this, I hope this will make us realized even more that there's a figure irreplaceable…
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR
Summary: Behind Iemitsu's comical attitude, how does he actually feels on the inside? Would he still be happy for letting his DAUGHTER to fall into the mafia world? How does he, as a father should feel? F27 as Iemitsu's daughter. NOT incest
Warning: GenderBend (Fem27), Iemitsu's POV
Dedicated to: ALL fathers in the world, no matter who or what they did…
Indescribable Love
"When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry."
- William Shakespeare
Iemitsu's POV (from the beginning to the end)
14th October was the day that changed my whole life, my entire world changed in just in a brief moment. I heard my beloved wife, Nana, crying and yelling in pain in the room in front of me. I was alone in the corridor, waiting anxiously for like, hours. And then I heard my wife stopped yelling and there's a baby's cry instead. The man in all white walked out of the room with a wide smile and congratulated me and say, "Congratulation Sawada-san, it's a healthy baby girl."
The instant he said that, my mind couldn't focus on anything and everything just seemed to jump around but on the same time standing still. I quickly, almost running, to her room. When I opened the door, I could see her crying happy tears with a little baby on her hands. That scene was just unforgettable and wonderful. I walked to her side and saw my beautiful daughter for the first time. When I saw her, it feels like all my dreams have been come true and that there's no other thing I wished for.
I touched her cheek with one hand and her little hand with the other. My beautiful baby girl, Sawada Tsunahime.
She's perfect.
I begged for a permission to stay at home to took care of my wife and my newborn girl and throughout all these years, I never am more grateful to my boss, Timoteo, the Ninth of Vongola, than when he said that I could stay with my family until there's another mission coming for me.
I came home bringing a lot of baby stuffs, colored in soft pink, orange, white, and milky brown. From pillows, toys, until dolls although I knew that everything already prepared from before she was born. I just wanted to give her more, give her everything I could.
When I arrived, I immediately went to my baby's room and I saw Nana was nursing her. I put down all the stuff I bought and walked to her. I kissed Nana's cheek before I looked into my daughter's caramel eyes that stared at me, straight into my heart. I touched her cheek slowly and she chortled. Her laugh ringed into my heart and I felt my heart became warm.
And when I saw her honest and innocent eyes, I swore I will protect her.
I will always be by her side whenever she needed me so that she would never have to cry. I kissed her cheek softly and I could see she smiled dearly at me.
She's everything to me.
Every second was so precious to me as I see her grow. Ninth also visited us every now and then, sometimes even Xanxus and Reborn tagged along. I find it interesting as she never scared of Xanxus (except when their first meeting) and instead they were like brother and sister. While I was jealous and annoyed every time Tsuna hugged Reborn and let him sleep on her lap. He was NOT an innocent baby like he looked on the outside!
This year she was almost turning two and she's learning to take her first step. She always ended up falling before succeed in standing up straight on her feet. She would always pout cutely before she tried again. I lost count on how many she tried. But after three weeks, she finally stepped on her own for the first time. She stood up with a big smile on her face and her whole face lit up. I walked a few step back and I scouted facing her. I grinned at her and stretched my arms.
She looked at me and smiled, taking the challenge. She took another step and she fell almost instantly. She pouted again before trying to stand up again. She did stand up but fall on the next step she took. That continued over and over until she almost cried but on the last two steps, she succeeded in taking two steps without falling. When she reached to my hug, I lifted her up and she giggled with all her heart.
I congratulated her for not giving up even from falling each time and overcoming the obstacle. I looked at her face proudly;
She's my pride.
Today's Tsuna big day; her first day at school. She was very excited with her first uniform and I can't help but laughed whenever she spun around to show me her uniform. Nana and I walked her to school and to go to the ceremony. When we gradually got near the school, I could feel she was getting anxious and apprehensive which is a great contradiction with earlier.
When we reached the school gate, her hand gripped mine tighter. I could see her uncomfortable, it was clearly seen on her face. Nana also recognized this and scouted to her level, asking if there's something wrong. She frowned in response and whispered that she's scared. I bent down and lifted her up. She gasped at the sudden movement but smiled. She always loved it when he did this.
I convinced her that's everything going to be alright and I also promise her that she will always have me by her side. I lowered her down after seeing her nod. And I will forever protect her;
She's my precious.
She's turning seven this year and I have to go to Italy now and then to finish my job, especially long at the time when Xanuxs found out about his true identity. I was worried that there's going to be a riot, but thankfully there wasn't any. I heard from the gossips that he didn't because he knew he couldn't win. I'm sure that's not true; he's a true fighter and talented. I know that it's because of Tsuna, that he didn't start a riot.
Every time I bid goodbye to her, I would have to prevent to meet her eyes. If I did, I know I won't be able to leave her. On her birthday, I decided to took her to ride her first pony. We three went to a small village with a wide field only filled with grass and pure nature. I met the keeper there, which was my friend, and he immediately praised on how cute Tsuna is. I then ask where he put the ponies. He walked us there and when we arrived and Tsuna saw horses for the first time. She was afraid at first, hiding behind my legs. I put her on the smallest pony and guided her to sit right.
After a brief while I guided her and the pony, I suddenly let go of my hold. I could see her panic for the sudden movement and I could see her eyes starting to become teary. But as the moments passed and she gets used with the pony's slow movement, she enjoyed it instead and I could see her laughed. Nana and I, watching from distance also smiled and waved at her. She turned the pony to our direction again with a confident face. I grinned and I could feel my heart was smiling too;
She's my joy.
She's twelve when I have to return to Italy because of a sudden attack from an enemy family. It breaks my heart when I kissed her cheek when she's sleeping, saying goodbye. I know that this one was going to be a long mission and that I won't be able to come home for a while. I quietly crept outside and kissed Nana. I knew she loved romantic man and I told her that I have become a star and I was pleased when I saw her happy face.
After I walked through the gate, I stopped in my track and looked up and saw Tsuna's room window. I'm going to missed her but I promised to return safe. And I know,
She's the courage in me.
I was returning today, I can't wait to see her. It's been two years I haven't gone home. Reborn have been sent there before me, to train Tsuna. It's been decided at the day everything about Xanxus was settled. The moment I heard about the decision, most people was afraid if I'm going to start a riot myself. I couldn't let them bring my daughter to the dark, cruel mafia world! I finally accepted the decision after Ninth said that she'll go to the true mafia world when she was big enough and that will be her own decision.
I heard that the Cavallone's boss, Dino was visiting her every now and then, and they saw each other like brother and sister, competing with Xanxus and the Varia. I also heard that Poison Scorpion and the others were staying at home. And I heard from Reborn that Tsuna was getting along well and even found her own guardians. She even managed to defeat Rokudo Mukuro and brought him as an ally instead. I was pleased to hear that but I was worried on the same time. That news just meant she couldn't escape her fate on the mafia world anymore; the people in the mafia won't let her. I couldn't help but feel mad to myself for letting her get this destiny. She has the most pure and innocent eyes, she has a very gentle and kind heart, and she has that childish attitude that just added her charm points; letting her enter this cruel mafia world will ruin all of that.
When I finally arrived home, I couldn't bring myself to open the door. I felt I was the most horrible dad and I couldn't face her now that she has fallen to the dark world because of me. I stood there, debating over my own heart. I finally reached my hand to turn the knob and wear the best fake smile I could. Suddenly the door flew open and a much smaller figure jumped at me and because I lower my guard, we fell down. I looked down and saw long brown hair and realized the figure was hugging me tightly. She looked up and I could see teary but happy caramel orbs.
"Welcome home, Daddy!" She exclaimed with a bright smile. Suddenly all of my worries were gone like they never existed on the first place. I hugged her back as we get to sitting position.
"I'm home, Tsuna," I said softly as she buried her head in my chest, still crying. And I realized no matter what world she was in,
She's the light.
She's going to become 15. I was in Italy when I heard from Nana that she has gone for three days without any clue of her whereabouts. When I heard that, I instinctively wanted to send a search team but Ninth told me to calm down and assured me she was fine. Just two days later, Ninth told me about the dream he seen. I feel disappointed to know that I couldn't help her when she needed me. But I also feel proud, very proud, when I heard she succeeded to save the world and returned home safely.
I wanted to go home at that time to check her condition but I couldn't, not when Ninth decided to held the Inheritance Ceremony. I have a fierce debate, for the first time, with Ninth. I finally agreed when Ninth told me that the decision still depended on Tsuna herself. I realized that she would enter this path sooner or later and I couldn't protect her from this side forever. I have to put my faith on her friends and guardians to protect her, and to herself. I have to face the fact that she's now going to make her own destiny. Her own life.
I was somewhat relieved when I heard she rejected the idea of the ceremony. But then I heard she made up her decision and wanted to go to the inheritance ceremony. I felt mixed emotions but I respected her choice and I went along with the plan. Until I heard the news; the Shimon Family, the one that killed the legendary Giegue Family, wrecked the ceremony and even took the "Sin" and destroyed the rings.
I was terrified but relieved when I knew she was okay. I was even more terrified when she said that she wanted to go and fight the Shimon on her own. I understood her reasons but I still couldn't help but feel worry inside and I put on a little hope that Ninth would reject the idea. But as I expected, that didn't happen. She went off with her guardians to fight with the Shimon. After a few days, she returned, with bruises and wounds but she was alive. I was far more than happy just to saw her alive with a victorious smile on her face.
And I know, I could put my faith on her;
She's incredible.
Today was her sweet seventeen. Everyone prepared a surprise party for her. She was sent by Nana to go and bought some things for dinner, a long list of that. I observed closely everyone on the house. The people were so various and much and I could see that they did their best in making the preparations for the party; even Basil, Oregano, and Turmeric coming along although they only have a three-days of holiday. It took a long time, longer in repairing than making because of so many people in the house especially the people are a part of the mafia which by nature, more likely to destroy things.
When she went home with her hands full of grocery bags, we all shouted "Happy Birthday!" from the door although she just entered the front gate. She just stared there, with her mouth open. We all stared at her too, making an awkward silence between us. Before she suddenly dropped all the things and ran toward us and jumped at us. All of us were caught by surprise but I could see Yamamoto and Enma, the Shimon's leader caught her, preventing her from falling. We could see her crying and she cried out, "Thank you everyone!"
After she went inside, everyone insisted on blowing the cake first before opening the gifts. And so she did. When I saw the birthday cake with the candle shaped "17", I realized how grown she was. It seems only yesterday she blew her first birthday cake. After she blew on the candle and make a wish, she opened the gifts starting from a small purple candy from Lambo, to Gokudera's piano play; with Reborn's chameleon as the piano. When it's almost ended, suddenly a large "VOOOOIIII" heard from outside the house. Suddenly the Varia group went inside and I couldn't help but felt how small the house is.
They gave her their presents which were training and battle gears. Just in a matter of seconds, a fight break and Reborn kicked them out. And with that everyone went home, and they also realized how late it was. The Varia, went to their hotel and when we went outside, we could see a helicopter on the air. After everyone went home and the kids slept, Nana and I went to her room, finding her checking the novel Reborn gave her. We gave her our present and Nana hugged her. I ruffled her hair and realized that she looked more like her mother every day.
She opened the gift and was delighted when she saw the white dress she has been wanting for since years ago. She hugged both of us and whispered between hiccups, "thank you," softly. Then I realized,
No matter what, she's still the same Tsuna.
Today, she's finally going to change her name.
Today was the day she set her foot on her own and shares the path with a man beside her. She was in the dressing room with Nana and when she came out of the room, I realized that my little girl has become a wonderful and beautiful woman. She wore that dress the day Nana and I shared an oath. She smiled at me, like she was when she was still a baby. She walked over me and asked how she looked.
I have to hold my tears as I hugged her softly. "You're beautiful, Tsu,"
When we arrived at the place, my feet felt heavy. I still saw her as my little girl and I'm not ready to let her go. As we were about to walk on the aisle with her hand on mine, I could feel her starting to get nervous, like she was when she was going to her first school. My heart took over and I smiled at her, "Why are you nervous Tsu? Don't you remember my promise that I'll by your side always?"
She looked up, looking startled before she smiled brightly at me and she leaned to me. "Thank you, daddy."
Then the song was played. We stepped to the aisle and walked slowly. When we reached altar, I let her hand go. But in my heart, it felt like I wasn't letting her arm go, but letting her whole being go into a whole new place on her own. I walked to the side and watched as she and her chosen man shared their oaths.
I felt something tear inside of me. I'm happy but sad altogether to let her go. I wanted to return to those days when I could still lift her up on the air. I wanted to watch her play with her dolls again. I wanted to return to the time when she rode her first pony. I watched as the ceremony slowly ended. The pair turned around, facing the audience as the audience cheered and clapped.
She smiled so brightly with pure happiness as she looked to the audiences. Her gaze suddenly fell on me and I felt, like when I saw her for the first time at the hospital, I felt indescribable happiness inside of me. And suddenly I felt so stupid.
She was not a little girl anymore,
She was a woman creating her own life,
But from that smile I realized,
I will always be her dad and there's no one going to replace it.
I smiled back at her and I could feel tears starting to fall on my cheeks.
Mom and Dad,
thank you for everything,
for your care and effort in taking care of me,
for all the sacrifices you did for me,
for all the happy and sad times you shared with me,
for the heart that you open widely for me,
for all the indescribable and countless love you gave me,
I know there's no one going to give me as much as you do,
thank you…
A/N: I would love to see how you feel about this. Although the other stories I typed I was focusing on the reviews, I just hoped that this fic can be something meaningful. Well, it is to me. But I hope you would leave your review too! Thank you for reading~!
