Disclaimer: not my characters or world. Now go make a Voyager movie.

A/N: I found this story last week, as I was getting back to writing - how I have missed you! - and searching for my unfinished stories. I think this was a secret drabble gift for a VAMB exchange that I forgot to post, but I have no idea who I wrote it for or even from what year. So, if you recognize the story as your gift, do let me know!

The Art of Payback

'You mean to say she just appeared - alive and well? No - please may I return, nothing?'

'Are we talking about the same woman? She just went to work on the engines, one of her sleeves completely soaked with blood and when I ordered her to have someone look at it she actually growled at me and threatened to bite my arm off!'

B'Elanna didn't know exactly what she'd been expecting when she entered the quarters she shared with Tom, but it certainly hadn't been the sight of her husband and her best friend, who at one time would not have hesitated to kill each other, trading what appeared to be war stories. About her. And she knew the one Chakotay was telling now, it was a chilling story about a failed raid on a Cardassian compound where four of their friends had been killed and she'd accidentally been left behind in their scramble to get away, only to make her way back to the ship about a week later with a stab wound in her side and her arm nearly ripped off. She'd never told anyone the whole story of how she'd made it back and she couldn't believe Chakotay was just sharing it as an amusing anecdote now! Before the two men could notice her arrival, she backed out of the door again, wanting to get a handle on her shock and, well, whatever emotion was churning in the pit of her stomach, before confronting the two clowns. As the door closed again before her, however, she bumped into the Captain who was just coming around the corridor.

'Oh, Captain, I'm sorry!'

The other woman waved her apology away. 'That's alright B'Elanna. Have you seen Chakotay? We were supposed to have dinner half an hour ago, but he never showed up and according to the computer he's in your quarters. Is everything alright?'

B'Elanna laughed at the Captain's unnecessary concern. 'He's in there with Tom, gossiping about me apparently.'

'Oh.' The Captain looked puzzled for a moment, before her expression changed into a smile that made B'Elanna take a step back. In later renditions of the story, she would come to refer to this as her 'payback' grin. 'Have you eaten yet, B'Elanna?' She asked. 'I have a marvelous lasagna that's going to waste, which is an especial shame because for once my replicator managed not to burn it. Would you care to join me?'

It only took B'Elanna a moment to decide before she flashed the Captain a wide smile. 'I would love to, Captain.'

'Call me Kathryn!'

Chakotay was cursing to himself as he hurried over to Kathryn's door. He'd stood Kathryn up, no word, no nothing, just hadn't shown up for dinner. She was bound to be furious, heck, he'd be lucky if she even talked to him again this week! The fact that she hadn't even tried to contact him over the comms to ask what was taking him so long was not a good sign. He'd just stopped by B'Elanna's quarters for a moment to ask her something about the engineering report, only to find the quarters empty. He was just leaving when Tom arrived, fresh off a duty shift, who'd convinced him to wait for B'Elanna, as she was also only just off shift and so was bound to be home soon. In the mean time, Tom needed some advice, he'd said. So Chakotay stayed and before he knew it he was telling Tom about their Maquis days. It had gotten really confusing when Harry'd shown up and Tom'd started serving something he called 'mohito's'. It wasn't until Harry brought up his date with Jenny the other night that Chakotay remembered his dinner date with Kathryn and thought to check the chronometer, only to find out he was very, very late. He'd immediately rushed out.

Now, having reached her quarters in record time, he rang the door. 'Come in!' came the rather cheerful reply from inside. He frowned. Then the doors opened and he was treated to a scene he'd never, ever expected to see. Kathryn and B'Elanna were sitting on the couch, glasses of wine in their hands. B'Elanna appeared to be giggling. He wondered idly if he'd consumed enough alcohol to hallucinate.

'Ah, Chakotay, we were just talking about you!' Kathryn said merrily, waving her glass in his direction and almost sloshing the bit of wine that remained inside over her carpet. Chakotay decided then that it might not be his alcohol intake that was at fault here. 'B'Elanna, have I ever told you about the time we visited the Delfonians' home world and Chakotay ate one of their lamps because he thought it was a piece of candy?' Chakotay felt his ears grow warm as both women literally collapsed into fits of laughter.

'Kathryn, how long have you two been here?' He asked, tentatively, taking a small step forward and holding up his hands to ward off any evil. To B'Elanna, he looked like someone approaching a wild and dangerous animal. The thought made her fall into renewed giggles.

'I don't know, a couple of hours, probably.' Kathryn shrugged, 'at one point there was food involved.' Coming from the woman who habitually forgot to eat, this probably meant long, Chakotay feared.

'I'd just gotten off shift.' B'Elanna added helpfully. Chakotay groaned, wondering whether to run now or try and make his apologies for standing her up first.

'Why don't you grab some wine, Chakotay, and join us?' Kathryn's voice cut through his thoughts in a sugary tone that send chills down his back; and not the good kind. He was out the door even faster than he'd approached it, mumbling an excuse about reports that needed finishing. Just before the doors closed, he heard Kathryn and B'Elanna dissolve into hysterical laughter. He was never, ever, talking to Tom again.

Fine