Tada! I know I don't watch Hetalia all that much but my friends have told me enough to where I think I can write this without frickin it up. Besides, I'm mostly using my friend's OCs (well, she told me one of them technically belongs to me now, so . . . whatever). Unfortunately, I was under the impression that this was going to be easy. I'm sorry if I get anything confused, but hey, it happens, right? (Oh, and I apologize greatly if any of you are from New Jersey or like the show Jersey Shore. You'll understand later.) Thanks for putting up with me and please enjoy Christmas With the States.
Christmas With the States
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a single state was silent, and New Jersey just found her ruined blouse.
"NO!" she cried, holding the stained and torn garment by the shoulders. "I just got this!"
Her sister, New York (though the other states called her Nya for short) poked her head into New Jersey's room.
"Hey sis," the Yankee smirked. "Are you ready? Everyone's gonna be here soon."
New Jersey glared at Nya. "I just found out someone ruined my fave blouse! I was gonna wear it to the party!"
Nya laughed. "Seriously? That's what you're upset about? You can borrow the one Uncle Eyebrows gave me. It's definitely more your style than mine."
New Jersey stared at her sister in shock. "Are ya actually being nice to me? Are ya alright? Tell me ya ain't getting sick the day before Christmas."
Nya laughed again. Okay, she was really starting to freak Jersey out. "No, I'm not sick. Truthfully, I just want to get rid of it. I hate it!"
There was the New York Jersey knew. After considering it –they wore the same size clothes but Jersey knew that Nya never gave her anything outta the goodness of her heart –New Jersey eventually agreed to see the blouse. Nya rushed to her room and returned about a minute later with the article of clothing in question.
It was . . . bright. Neon green and blue fabric fluttered in the breeze from Jersey's fan, and the ruffles were definitely nothing Nya would ever wear. Hmm, it was cute, Jersey had a pair of stilettos that would match it perfectly, and it even matched some of the colors she had dyed in her hair.
"Fine," she grumbled, snatching the blouse from her sister. "Thanks."
Nya smirked at her sis. "So, how did your other shirt get ruined anyway?"
New Jersey groaned. "Pen and Tex decided to have a paintball war and my blouse was the white flag. It was shot down pretty fast."
Nya started laughing uncontrollably, almost doubling over in laughter. It took a while, but New Jersey finally got her sister to leave her room. Why were all the northern states sentenced to live in the same hallway? It was bad enough she was stuck with Mass and his annoyance, but she also had to deal with her sister laughing at her misfortune. It was too much at times.
Once Jersey was sure Nya was gone, she got dressed. Shirt on, skinny jeans on –what a pain, but they looked cute –stilettos zipped up, hair poofed, makeup done, and Jersey was ready. Hey, it took time to look that good, alright?
Jersey made her way down to the family room, where everyone was already gathering. Christmas Eve parties weren't her fave thing in the world, but Jersey did enjoy Christmas day. It was one of the only days her parents were together in the same place for more than five minutes, and one of the only two days she was actually there to see them.
Actually, the same was true for all of the states. They never really got to see their parents together much. But as Jersey glanced around, she realized that no one was really looking for their other parent(s). Little Hawaii and Alaska were bouncing around like maniacs, teaching D.C. to slide around on his socks (God help them all). Cal and Mass were arguing about something, though Jersey wasn't exactly sure what. She thought she heard Cal say something about his boyfriend being hotter than Mass's, but she couldn't be sure. And then Jersey saw New York holding a water balloon.
Who was gonna be the unlucky victim? If it ended up being Jersey, New York was gonna die. But it definitely wasn't New Jersey. Heehee, Mass and Cal's argument was definitely over then. Massachusetts, now soaking wet, glared at Nya.
"What was that for?!"
Nya laughed. "I was bored. You were there. Do the math."
While Mass chased Nya down with a pillow as his weapon, New Jersey decided to find somewhere to sit down and wait for everyone to show up. Her papas were supposed to show up today, and while one of 'em was probably gonna cuss everyone out, she was just glad it was Christmas. And besides, Uncle Eyebrows was guaranteed to dress as Santa, so everyone would have a laugh.
It took a while, but eventually people started showing up. Russia was the first to walk through the front door. The violet-eyed man was strangle-hugged by little Alaska, who was so happy to see the older country. Russia dropped his vodka bottle by accident –at least the cap was on. Jersey briefly considered picking up the bottle, but she decided against it. She'd gotten drunk once and it wasn't something she wanted to repeat.
Mexico and Hawaii –not the state, the kingdom –were next. But of course Hawaii started a huge argument with America as soon as she walked in. Jersey caught something about Hawaii's 'Little Flower' and how she didn't think America was that great of a dad, but the northern state couldn't really bring herself to care. Sure, she loved her little sister, but she hadn't even said two words to the state's mother.
Mexico went ahead and smothered all of her children with hugs and sappy greetings. Cal was the last to be greeted by his mother. New Jersey smirked at his reaction to his mother's affection.
"Hey! Not the hair, not the hair!" the western-most state grumbled, leaning away from Mexico.
Eventually everyone's parents showed up. Even Uncle Eyebrows was there! He was in a Santa suit, just as New Jersey had predicted. And he was totally frickin up the Santa thing, but oh well.
The only person's parents who hadn't shown up yet were New Jersey's. Okay, if her Papa and Padre didn't show up in the next five minutes, New Jersey was gonna hop on a damn plane and fly to Italy so she could drag those two bastards over here herself. Dang, she sounded just like her Padre. That was kinda scary.
Just before the five minute mark arrived, the door was thrown open by an idiotic man with a silly little grin on his face. New Jersey grinned. Papa finally came!
"Hi Papa!" she greeted the man with a hug.
"Ciao Ava!" Italy smiled, returning the hug.
After he let her go, New Jersey glared at him, though her smile was still in place. "Don't call me Ava, Papa. I don't call ya Veneziano."
"True," the country mused.
"Hey, where's Padre?" Jersey asked, noticing Romano's lack of appearance.
Italy shrugged. "He had plans. I think he told me it had something to do with Spain."
New Jersey smirked. If she didn't know any better, she'd say there was something going on between Padre and Spain. Instead of commenting on it though, Jersey chatted with her Papa about something else.
Italy had gone to see some of his other kids, leaving New Jersey free to mess with her siblings. She saw New York talking to a micro-nation happily. Jersey had met him once or twice before. It was Wallachia, Nya's boyfriend.
"Hiya!" Jersey greeted, walking over to her sister and her sister's boyfriend. "I'm bored, so I'm gonna annoy yous two!"
Nya groaned in frustration, while Walla just blinked in shock.
"Do you have to be over here?" New York grumbled. "I think Mass's boyfriend just showed up; maybe you can annoy them!"
"Nah," Jersey decided. "I'm gonna annoy yous two. We still haven't gone on that double date yet, ya know."
"You don't have a boyfriend," Nya reminded her.
"True, but hey, details, right?" Jersey shrugged. "So, what's were ya talkin 'bout?"
"I have a question: why on earth do you talk like that?" Walla asked, ignoring Jersey's question. "And why do you dress like that?"
New Jersey glared at Wallachia while Nya shook her head in warning, but it was too late. Everyone knew to never ask Jersey that question. Even America was afraid of Jersey's reaction when someone asked her that, and he wasn't ever afraid of any of his kids.
"I dress like this and talk like this 'cause of that stupid show, Jersey Shore," New Jersey complained. "Now everyone thinks people from New Jersey dress like neon sluts and have poufy hair and long fake nails and talk like this. Newsflash: not all of us do!"
Walla took a step back out of self-preservation. Angry New Jersey was scary New Jersey. Nya sighed, tugging on her boyfriend's arm, getting in between her sister and him.
"Calm down," she instructed. "He didn't know. I forgot to explain. Don't kill my boyfriend because of your stereotype."
"Fine," New Jersey grumbled. "Just don' ask again!"
Walla nodded quickly. "Promise!" he said as fast as he could.
Jersey was forced to leave right after that.
It was time for presents, a time most normal families saved until Christmas day. But for the states, they took Christmas Eve to give and receive presents from their other parents. Tomorrow they'd get gifts from each other.
Nya got a tulip from the Netherlands, Mass got a tea cup from England, Hawaii got a lei from Hawaii (the state got the flower necklace from the kingdom), Alaska got a sunflower from Russia –who had no idea what to get for a five year old, Cal got a sombrero from Mexico, and Jersey got a white flag from Italy, just to name a few.
After presents were exchanged, America made the other countries leave pretty quickly. It was almost midnight, and a few of the countries still believed in Santa, though maybe they shouldn't anymore –England had to stop getting drunk enough to willingly dress up in the furry red costume.
Once all the other countries were out the door, America threatened all fifty-one of his kids (D.C. was a kid too!) into getting to bed. Thirty minutes later, everyone had fallen asleep.
Everyone except for Jersey.
She was reading a book about the Jersey Devil. Jersey knew that it was real, but she didn't have enough proof yet. Everyone, even America, told her there was no such thing, but if they believed in witches and ghosts and everything else, why didn't they trust her when she said that her devil was real? Mass had the Moth Man for crying out loud and he didn't even believe her!
America was going through the hallways once more to make sure everyone was going to bed when he noticed Jersey's light was still on. He opened the door to find her lying on the floor, scribbling down in her Jersey Devil notebook. He shook his head good-naturedly. Leave it to New Jersey to obsess over a mythical creature the night before Christmas.
"Jersey, it's time for bed," America reminded her.
"But I've almost got enough proof for people to accept the Jersey Devil it real!" the state protested. "Just five more minutes!"
"Jersey, got to bed. Now."
"No," she said, turning back to her notes. Ugh, if only those pictures were better quality.
"Jersey . . ." America warned. "Go to bed."
"Nuh uh," Jersey said offhandedly. Wait a minute, here was a decent photo! This might convince them!
"Ava Vargas Jones, get to bed right now!" America yelled suddenly, making Jersey jump.
"Geeze, I'm going, I'm going," she muttered. "So pushy."
Five minutes later, New Jersey was falling asleep. The last thing she remembered was seeing America sigh in relief. Now everyone was asleep.
"Jersey!" Alaska cheered, jumping onto her bed. "Wake up! It's Christmas!"
New Jersey groggily opened her eyes. Researching her monster last night hadn't been such a good idea after all. The five year old currently jumping on her bed saw that she was awake and hopped off, tugging on her arm.
"Come on, Daddy won't let us open no presents 'til you get down there," Alaska complained.
Jersey stood up and sleepily followed her little brother downstairs to the family room. She then proceeded to plop down onto one of the five couches that dotted the room.
"Good morning Jersey," Mass greeted.
"Morning Masshole," Jersey yawned.
"Don't call me Masshole!" Massachusetts complained. "My name–"
"Is a lot harder to spell than that," Jersey finished for him "and it's a lot harder to pronounce. I'm gonna call ya Masshole. Deal with it."
Before Mass could come up with a comeback, a brightly wrapped present was dumped onto his lap by Nya.
"Open it," she instructed. Before Mass did, however, he handed Nya one of her own.
"You too," he said.
They opened their presents warily –it was no secret that they had a bit of a rivalry going on –but ended up laughing when they saw the contents of both boxes. Even New Jersey had to laugh.
They had gotten each other a box of packing peanuts!
"Seriously?" Jersey laughed. "Ya got each other the same thing?"
"It looks that way, doesn't it?" Mass chuckled.
After it was explained that they didn't want to get each other anything but had to because America divided the states into seventeen different groups so everyone didn't have to buy fifty presents, New York and Mass tossed their presents in the trash.
"Eh, it was funny," Nya decided. "But whatever, right?"
"Right," Jersey agreed. "Now for my presents to yous two."
Nya opened her box to reveal a large wooden bat with her name carved into the side.
"I've already got a baseball bat," she stated in confusion.
New Jersey laughed. "It ain't for baseball," she explained. "It's for hitting Masshole when he pisses ya off."
Nya grinned evilly at her sister before brandishing the bat in the classic baseball pose. "Hold still Masshole!"
America just happened to be walking by and snatched the bat right out of her hand.
"Nope," he said, not pausing in his walk. "You're not hitting your brother with a bat." Nya sat down in a huff, ticked off that she didn't get to keep her present. She wasn't gonna hurt him . . . Much.
"Now for Mass," Jersey stated, handing him an envelope. "Oh, and just to warn ya, this ain't it, exactly. It's more of an IOU, ya know? Like a you-go-here-at-a-certain-time kinda thing."
Mass opened it up to reveal a note that read 'Meet New Jersey in the kitchen at exactly two o'clock to receive your Christmas present.'
"Alright," Mass agreed. "Thanks, I guess. Now it's your turn for presents."
New Jersey was admittedly happy about this part. She wondered what kind of gag gift Nya would get her this year. Mass handed her a gift, which the northern state opened up.
"What are these?" she asked, turning over the two slips of paper in her hand.
"They're tickets to see the greatest baseball team in the country," Mass said proudly.
Jersey smirked at her brother. "So they're Yankees tickets?"
Mass sputtered indignantly while Nya started laughing and cheering at the same time. After they both managed to calm down, Nya gave Jersey her gift. New Jersey unwrapped the present to reveal the first season of Jersey Shore.
"Ya have three seconds to run for your life," Jersey growled. "Then that bat I got ya is gonna be taken to your head."
"Nuh uh, you can't take my present and hit me with it," Nya laughed.
"I'm the one who bought it!" Jersey protested. "Besides, Dad's got it, so I guess I can't hit ya with it. But be warned, yous gonna get it. I'm gonna hurt ya when ya least expect it."
Two o'clock came and Mass entered the kitchen. New Jersey had set up everything before he got there, so she was leaning against the counter with a huge smirk on her face.
"What's all this?" Mass asked, looking at the chair and the strange-looking supplies.
"I'm fixing your hair for Christmas!" Jersey said proudly. "Now sit down right here, and I'll fix ya up."
Mass was about to argue when he noticed the duct tape. Jersey meant business. He sat down and Jersey tied a plastic cover over his clothes. Now it was time to get to work.
"Hold still," Jersey instructed.
"You're not dying my hair!" Mass argued. "I'll look ridiculous."
"If you don't hold still, I'm gonna end up dying your forehead," Jersey warned. Mass held perfectly still after that, knowing that New Jersey just might do it on purpose. They might not have had the rivalry he and Nya had, but they could still argue and play tricks on each other.
Nya poked her head into the kitchen and rolled her eyes at the sight.
"So gay," she muttered, walking out.
"I'm not gay!" Mass protested. "I'm bi; there's a difference!"
"Ya still have a boyfriend," Jersey reminded him. "And he's gonna love this new hair style."
"If you say so," Mass grumbled, letting Jersey continue what she was doing to his hair.
"Huh. This actually doesn't look too bad," Mass decided.
Jersey rolled her eyes at her brother. "Boy, I've dyed my hair more times than I care to count. I know what I'm doing."
Mass' hair had been cut a bit shorter and bleached to an almost-white with bright red streaks in it. In short, his hair was the team colors for the Boston Red Sox.
"Thanks Jersey," he said with a smile, running a hand through his hair.
"You're welcome," she smiled, walking out of the kitchen. "Oh, and have fun on your date next week to the Sox game. I don't like baseball, so I'm giving ya the tickets back."
Twas the night of Christmas and all through the land, New Jersey was happy, and most everything was grand.
Okay, the ending sucked. Merry Christmas! Thanks for reading!
~C