Chapter 1

Day 1

"I can't believe it," Renji growled. "This is completely humiliating and I'm not gonna go through with it."

"Will you shut the hell up?" Ichigo snapped, tired of Renji's unremitting complaints. "Constantly bitching about it isn't going to make it go away."

"I'm being punished for your stupidity!" Renji repeated for the hundredth time, and Ichigo clenched his teeth. "I was with you. It sure as hell doesn't make it my fault."

"Well, I'm not from Soul Society! How the hell was I supposed to know that they were so strict about that? They sure as hell aren't strict about who can get alcohol. You know, people my age are too young to drink in the real world."

"If you weren't so damn hot headed, you wouldn't've accidentally knocked an entire building over, now would ya?"

"You're calling me a hothead? Who do you think put the finishing blows on that building?"

Two nights ago, Renji, Ichigo, and a few other Shinigami decided to celebrate a recent victory by getting plastered. Unfortunately, Renji and Ichigo couldn't resist throwing insults back and forth at each other. By the end of the night, their bickering turned into an all-out brawl.

Ichigo had never actually been drunk before, so he failed to fully appreciate how smashed he was after several hours of constant drinking. As he was clumsily swinging around his zanpakutou, Renji smacked him on the side of the head with the blunt side of his blade and laughed. Although it only stunned him for a second, Ichigo was furious.

He went after Renji and managed to accidentally release tenshou. Renji ungracefully leapt out of the way to avoid danger, but the attack punched a hole in the wall of one of the archive buildings for the Department of Technology.

Unfortunately, rather than try to stop Ichigo from doing more damage, the inebriated Renji attacked Ichigo, outraged that Ichigo nearly hit him. It all went downhill from there. By the time a completely sober Ukitake and a relatively sober Kyoraku heard the noise and rushed to the scene to stop the fight, the archive building was in ruins.

"You owe me big time," Renji muttered.

"I don't owe you a damn thing! You did just as much damage as I did!"

As punishment, Soul Society had been slightly harsher on Renji than on Ichigo, since Renji was a lieutenant and therefore should have acted more responsibly.

Renji was being forced to spend three months in a faux body in the real world. He was not allowed to use his zanpakutou, kidou, or shunpou. He would also have severe limits placed on his reiatsu—far more miniscule than the 20 standard that Shinigami were usually given in the real world.

Ichigo was under similar restraints, although living in his regular body at his father's house was not that severe of a punishment. He was a bit worried about not being able to use any fighting powers though.

Soul Society had stationed several unseated Shinigami in Karakura town to deal with the unusual number of hollow attacks, but Ichigo didn't trust them. If Ichigo or Renji ran into any Hollows, they could only use hand to hand combat… and that was hardly a comforting thought.

Renji continued his complaining. "I'm going to make these next three months a living hell for you. I'm gonna make it my sole mission t' piss you off."

"I figured that was already your sole mission," Ichigo responded coolly.

After arguing for a few more minutes, Ichigo headed back to his father's house and Renji headed for Urahara's shop.

- - -

Ichigo had just drifted off to sleep when a loud banging sound at his window woke him up. He scowled and crawled out from underneath the warm bedspread, wondering who the hell it could be.

He glanced at his window and saw Renji glaring back at him. "Let me in, asshole, I'm startin' t' draw attention out here."

Ichigo hesitated for a moment, then threw open the window. Renji abruptly jumped on his bed, narrowly missing Ichigo's leg under the blankets.

"Watch where the hell you step!" Ichigo whacked him on the back of the head, causing Renji to fly forward and fall face-first onto the floor.

Renji started to yell a few obscenities at him, but Ichigo leapt to his feet and clapped a hand onto Renji's mouth. "Shut up! My father and my two sisters are sleeping right now and I don't watch them to know you're here!"

As Ichigo unclasped the red-haired man's mouth, Renji looked Ichigo up and down with an surprised look on his face.

Ichigo looked down and scowled, realizing that he was only wearing a pair of rather snug-fitting briefs. "Shut up, I wasn't exactly expecting someone to see me sleeping tonight," he hissed, trying to hide his embarrassment. He had thrown Kon in Yuzu and Karin's room for the night, so he assumed that he would be alone for the rest of the night and had decided to sleep in his underwear.

He quickly grabbed a pair of pajama pants from his dresser and slipped them on. "Alright, Renji. What the hell do you need that couldn't wait till morning?"

Growling, Renji pulled himself to his feet. "I need t' stay here tonight. Urahara said he won't have me under his roof with such a severe restriction on my power. Finally decided to quit wanderin' around and come here t' sleep."

"Hell no!" Ichigo groaned. "There's no way you're sleeping here, so go find someone else…"

"Who the hell else am I gonna stay with?" Renji asked smartly, but he continued on before Ichigo could respond. "'Sides, you owe me one for this whole mess anyway, so I'm stayin'."

They argued about it in low tones for the next twenty minutes or so, exchanged a few kicks and punches, and then Ichigo dejectedly told him that he could stay for the night when he realized how tired he was and that he had to get up for school in less than four hours.

"You can sleep in the closet. It's where Rukia used to sleep." Ichigo silently wished Rukia was not back in Soul Society so she could deal with Renji instead of him.

Renji peered into the closet suspiciously. "How'n the hell am I s'posed to fit in there?"

Awkwardly, Renji tried to pull himself into the closet and get into a comfortable position. Once he was fully in the closet, he couldn't fully stretch out his arms or legs. He pulled himself out of the tiny closet and fell on Ichigo's floor with a clatter.

"What the hell is it now?" Ichigo groaned.

"It's too damn small in there!" Renji complained.

Ichigo forcefully threw his pillow at Renji, hitting him square in the face. "Then sleep on the damn floor! Just shut the hell up!"

- - -

Day 2

The next morning, Ichigo woke up when his alarm clock went off. He groggily rubbed sleep from his eyes, rolled off of his bed, and took a step forward.

Then he promptly tripped over Renji and fell on top of the sleeping Shinigami.

Renji awoke with a start, the breath knocked out of him. His eyes sleepily focused on Ichigo's face, then widened.

Ichigo paused for a moment, locked in Renji's stare. For a moment, they looked at each other, only inches away from each other's faces. Ichigo could feel Renji's chest rise up and down from his shallow breathing.

Suddenly, Ichigo realized the embarrassing position he was in. He cursed and awkwardly jumped to his feet. He roughly kicked Renji in the ribs and cursed at him. "Why the hell are you sleeping so damn close to the bed? Get outta here, it's morning." Ichigo idly wondered how Renji slept through his alarm.

Renji shrugged his shoulders. He was drowsy, but he couldn't help but notice that Ichigo was slightly hunched forward in an unnatural position. He yawned for a moment, then turned around and closed his eyes again.

When Renji turned away, Ichigo began blushing furiously. Although Ichigo was a substitute Shinigami, he was also a hormonal fifteen year old boy. Consequently, he typically woke up with what was infamously referred to as "morning wood." Usually this happened for no reason whatsoever but it took a little while to go away.

As he shuffled to the bathroom to take a shower, Ichigo silently prayed that Renji didn't notice it when he fell on top of the red-haired man.