Disclaimer: Mass Effect and all its characters belong to EA/Bioware. I am borrowing their wonderful characters and setting to put my own spin on the universe Bioware has created. Everything else is the result of my own imagination gone wild!

A/N: Hey guys, this is my first ever fan fiction so go easy on me! This is my twist on the ending of Mass Effect 3. As a reader I'm a big fan of the Shep romance stories so although it won't be the main plot focus, I do plan to have some in this some point down the line.

I need to say a huge thanks to elmjuniper for encouraging me to start writing in the first place and for beta reading once I did! If you haven't already discovered her work you def need to go take a look!

Thanks for taking the time to read and I'd love to see reviews if you like what you read!

Penance

She turned and looked at her choices; bad, worse and worst...of course.

Did you expect it to be easy?!

No...

Making the impossible decisions is what you do so get on with it.

She sighed, when she thought about it, the decision wasn't all that hard; synthesis...what gave her the right to forcibly change the genome of the entire galaxy.

That just takes hubris to a level even The Illusive Man hadn't considered! The thought of TIM drew a chuckle, she couldn't deny putting that bullet in his head felt even more satisfying than she'd imagined it would.

She looked to her left, control...no never!

Why not?

Because that's what he would have done, and we both know how much I love to piss him off.

But he's dead...

When it came to Cerberus all level of reasoning seemed to go out the window. She thought back to all the decisions she'd made just because she knew it would piss TIM off. Activating Legion, opening Grunts tank, helping Jack blow up Pragia and let's not forget refusing to help Jacob or Miranda with their personal issues. Then the biggies... destroying the collector base and turning the SR2 over to the Alliance. Safe to say she'd made a hobby out of pissing The Illusive Man off.

She smirked, four billion dollar pain in his ass.

So you're dismissing an option completely purely to piss off a dead man?

Pretty much, yeah...

Immature much?

Totally!

So, destroy it is...

She scoffed at the irony. She had sacrificed the Quarians in favour of the Geth's assistance in the war; now the end solution would mean genocide for the Geth anyway.

She took a deep breath to steel herself, why was this so hard? She'd died before; she had nothing more to lose now that she'd had two and a half years ago...the moment she thought it she knew it was a mistake. It was true, she'd become an expert at blocking everything and everyone out.

If you don't feel, you can't hurt...

As she was about to refocus on the task ahead, a light at the back of her mind caught her attention. She moved towards it, she could see it getting bigger and brighter with every step she took. When she realised where the light was coming from she froze. She stared on at the sight in front of her; the wall she had so skilfully built all those years ago was coming apart brick by brick in front of her eyes.

Something came into view behind the hole, a familiar face; one she hadn't dared look upon for sixteen years.

No, this isn't possible. You have a job to do...walk away, ignore her!

But she couldn't take her eyes off the innocent young face, long copper hair and emerald green eyes staring back at her.

Then she saw one of the bricks fly straight for her. As it connected with her right shoulder, she was floored by the image that hit her.

Virmire: Ashley and Kaidan standing behind Wrex as she tried to reason with him over Saren's cloned Krogan. Then a bang, the bullet ripped through the centre of the Krogan's skull and sailed passed her shoulder blood and grey matter splattering her armour. She'd felt for the Krogan, they'd had a rough deal. If only she'd taken time to ease Ashley's concerns about the aliens.

Another brick hit her square in the chest.

The collector base: Doctor Chakwas inside the pod, the terror in her eyes having watched Kelly liquefied, knowing she was next, pleading her to open the pod...not enough time, watching her dissolve before her eyes.

They kept coming, brick by brick memory by memory.

The Citadel: stand staring down the barrel of her gun trained on Kaidan, his gun in return on her. The life faded from his eyes as he died in her arms, at her hand. A standoff that should never have happened; if he'd known her better, trusted her, it might have been avoided.

Rannoch: Tali removes her mask and gracefully falls to her death; the pain of the end of her people too much to bear.

Without warning the rest of the wall burst open and she was hit by a tidal wave of emotions; sixteen years worth of grief, sorrow, guilt and regret flooding her mind, body and soul. She felt the air pushed from her lungs, she tried to fight it, to swim to the surface, but she was paralyzed mentally and physically.

Something drew her consciousness to the surface, a voice. She focused on the spectral child next to her, trying to ignore the incapacitating war being waged within her.

"You're time is at an end. You must decide," the child said.

"I...I c-can't." Was all she could manage.

"So be it," the child boomed. "The cycle continues," and with that he was gone.

As the Reapers continued to decimate the galaxy around her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the inevitable doom that awaited her.

She had failed; failed herself, her family, the galaxy. She hadn't realised it then, but now she saw it so clearly; she failed the day she built the wall. This was her penance and she welcomed it...

To Be Continued...