ONE-SHOT

She pretended like what she did wasn't wrong. She pretended like what she allowed to happen wasn't against most everything she believed in. She knew it was wrong. It really was against everything she believed in. Her mind is clouded with denial.

She sat silently on the stairs at the backyard's patio, wondering what to do next. Burying her face in her hands, she sighed heavily.

The events of the night before came rushing back to her for the hundredth time in the past hour.

She was being stupid and reckless. It was a mistake. That's all last night was: a stupid, reckless mistake, or she's trying to convince herself that. Although she knew deep down inside that what had happened was pent up tension and almost 11 years of knowing each other, she couldn't suppress the thoughts that flooded her mind when it came to the consequences.

It was unfair. She was vulnerable and he was there for her. She couldn't resist. After all, ever since she could remember, he was the only constant in her life. Not even her fiance was as constant as he was. He was there whenever she needed him and last night was just one of those times. And it didn't really help that she had been in love with him for God knows how long, engaged or not.

It was just cruel that she had been put into this situation. Her two best friends.

She was determined to prove to herself that it wasn't her fault, that it was something that had been a long time coming. But then again, it shouldn't have been something she'd been waiting for to happen if she had been engaged for nearly a year.

It was a mistake, she thought desperately. Say it was something that was bound to have happened. It doesn't make it less of a mistake and a complete blow against her self-esteem.

"This is ridiculous," she groaned breathily into her palms.

She raised her head from her hands and folded her legs underneath her. She felt like crying, but it seems like all the tears were gone. Too many of them had been shed last night and this morning, both for different reasons.

"I was wondering where you went," a voice said from a short distance away.

She dare not turn her head to look him in the eye. She knew that by looking at him, a new wave of tears would overcome her. The last thing she wanted was to be vulnerable yet again, the feeling serving as an awful reminder of the terrible mistake she committed the night before.

"It's awfully cold out here," the voice said, getting closer. "I have coffee inside."

She could see him sit next to her, in her peripheral.

He was gorgeous. She wouldn't even deny that, much better-looking that anybody she had ever seen. She hated to admit it to herself, her fiance in mind. But something about the man next to her sent her into a frenzy.

She wrapped the coat around her more securely and breathed out heavily. "You don't have to join me here, if you didn't want to," she said, testing her voice. "Like you said, it's awfully cold out here."

"I wouldn't leave you here, if that's what you had in mind," he said. He inched his way closer to her until their arms were grazing each other with rise and fall of their chests. "Hermione..."

She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips into a tight line. No, I won't cry anymore, she pleaded to herself.

"I know that something must be eating you up right now," he said. She saw him look straight ahead instead of at her. "And I want you to know that I apologise for causing some of that. You have every right to hate me and I would accept that. What we did was wrong-"

"It really was," she interrupted him, not even trying to convince herself anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," he said, his voice breaking. "I don't want to see anything go wrong with you and-"

"How could you even say that?" she said, finally turning her head to look him in the eye. His eyes were glassy, like he was on the verge of tears. "How could you even think that things would ever be the same with he and I? I..."

"Hermione-"

"Let me finish," she said through her teeth. She wasn't sure if she was in a rage or too guilty to comprehend any of her feelings. She breathed out once and shook her head. "It would never be the same for he and I. You know that. I guess we both knew that... before we..."

"What can I do? To help?"

"Don't you understand?" she said, the tears pooling in her eyes spilling. "I cheated on him. You didn't have to cheat on anybody. You wouldn't have a conscience that would bother you for a lifetime. You wouldn't end up marrying anybody and keeping this from them. Don't you see? I cheated, Harry. I cheated."

He swallowed audibly, turning to her. Brown eyes meet the green ones and she feels hers melting with the contact. "He was my best friend, too, Hermione."

"But I'm marrying him in a couple of months. That's the difference! I'm going to keep this from him when we get married... and when... when we start... a family."

Harry cringed. "Hermione, I'd love to say that whatever happened last night meant nothing. But I'd be lying if I said that. I really would be."

"But it did mean nothing," she lied.

"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" he said, testing. Hermione just looked at him and he knew. He knew he was right. "I know it was wrong. I'm not denying it. But it was also right. It felt right, so right."

She ducked her head and let a few tears slide down her cheeks. "I don't know what to do anymore," she managed to utter, avoiding his last statement. "I don't know what I'd say when I see him. I don't know how I'd react."

Harry's arm rubbed against Hermione's and for a moment, she felt like weeping again. He put her arm around her shoulder and held her against him, keeping her hostage there. He felt her shudder under her arm. She was crying. Again. How he hated it when she did.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," he said. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been so... so daft last night, I would have... I would have done the right thing."

She sobbed. "Oh, Harry," she muttered. "You're my best friend. Don't... don't forget that. That's why-why it felt so right. It-it felt r-right for m-m-me too because I-I-"

"Shh," he said, stroking rubbing her shoulder. "You... you don't have to speak right now. I'm so sorry, Hermione."

"R-R-Ron never made me feel the way you made me feel," Hermione snapped almost out of nowhere. It had been a surprise, even for her, wondering why she even said it out loud. For a second, she felt a ton lighter. "You're the only per-person who has m-m-made me happier than any-any other g-g-girl in the world, Harry. You have no i-i-idea."

"Hermione, hush, you don't know what you're saying-"

"I do know what I'm saying," she said, looking up, her eyes feeling heavy on her face. "Last night wasn't a mistake, Harry. It wasn't. Something changed between us when... when I kissed you on Platform 9 3/4 five years ago, even if you told me to let it go. Something changed during the engagement party last year... when Ron was busy entertaining the guests and you and I snuck up to my childhood bedroom to... to hang out. Harry, don't you see? It wasn't a mistake! I've been trying to tell myself that it is. I'm done pretending."

"Hermione, I've known you for 11 years. And you've loved Ron for more than half that time. Think about what you're saying, love."

"I came here last night for the same reason I'm still here and that's because-"

"Think about what you're saying-"

"-I love you, Harry."

Harry gasped, the sharp intake stabbing his lungs with the cold. His blood spiked and his breath labored.

His rational mind tried to reason out with his heart, trying to find alternatives to what she just said. Did she say what he thinks she said? Did he hear it right? He didn't want to believe his ears.

He felt numb. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to tell her that he loved her back, so dearly. But he know that he couldn't. She was his best friend. And also his best friend's fiance.

He pulled back to measure her expression. She was serious, on the brink of tears even.

Harry took a wary move towards her, their faces inches away from each other. It reminded him oddly of what had transpired between them not even twelve hours ago.

Their lips were dangerously close to each other.

And it happened. Something even bigger changed between them. It proved that Hermione didn't care about the consequences anymore, that the reason why she even confided to him the night before stood high and mighty: that she loved him. It proved that even if Ron would probably be beyond infuriated, he still wasn't there for Hermione because he was busy attending to business at the Ministry, being a work-hungry fiend that Percy was 14 years ago, and that was something Hermione was so against. It proved that when she's married in two months, Harry would be next to Ron, being the groom's best man, feeling guilty. But he didn't mind.

And now that Hermione's father had passed away... Harry almost felt responsible for his best friend, and now his lover.

Their lips parted finally, after what seemed like an eternity.

"This isn't going to work out. You know that, right?" he breathed, his hand still clutching the back of her head.

She leaned her head against his and shut her eyes tight. "Why are you so sure that it's not going to work out?"

"You're getting married in a few months. It doesn't really fall under the things-that-work-out list."

Hermione laughed, still out-of-breath. "We'll see where this takes us. Just please don't leave me, Harry."

"Never."