Tell Me:
Maybe I wanted too much.
Maybe I pushed you too far.
I can't forget you now,
So I'll love you from afar.
You've filled my head with yourself.
Your smell, your touch, your warmth and all else.
Tonight you let me go
And still I can't let go.
Do you know how much I love you?
Does it press down like a weight?
Do you know how much I need you?
Without you I'm not myself.
Does it fill your mind with dread?
Is interaction a drudge?
Do you resent my intensity?
But if your love is what I strive for,
Don't let hate be your judge.
You broke my walls and chained my heart,
You were without a care.
The time seemed right,
But the future was fraught,
And in the end it seems to be all for naught.
I haven't looked at anyone since….
I doubt I will again.
Even the sweetest lips of the lady,
The firmest touch of the man.
They freeze in motion, they cannot create
That which you could do with only your smile.
All turns barren, love it must be.
Romance colors myself vision.
People can scoff if they wish. But what good is romance to anyone,
If they can't feel it and think it fake?
I'm grateful for what you gave me.
That unconditional love….
But unconditional extends only so far
And I have found where unconditional ends.
I never saw and you never told
How much I pressed for more.
Is it your fault I'm so clingy?
Or that my nostalgia drives me back?
Is it my fault you never told me
You'd never love me like that?
Is it our fault we fell in love,
When love was such a distraction?
Is it our fault that we fall in love
When it just a nuisance?
With futures to build and family to please
With grades to get and friends to keep
To juggle in tandem
The weights of your difference
Perhaps we should have cared.
Our goals are similar, yet miles apart
You chose the science and I chose the dream.
You believe not in my God….
I think you believe there IS none….
I believe things don't need a reason.
You believe nothing happens without a reason.
I get offended and you apologize,
I do wrong but you never vocalize.
Tell me.
Why did it have to end?
We fixed our hearts
Yet burnt our bridges.
Crossed from shoes to ships and sealing wax.
Built a home and future in dreams
Rooted a castle in the sky…
And now….
Tell me, will you run from me?
Tell me. Can I run you down?
You part from me and close your doors,
Profess your love and give me hope.
Tell me.
Is it wrong to hope?
To hope again for happiness?
To regain what we once shared?
You wanted space,
But I wanted you
When the exam is fast approaching.
I wouldn't compromise either.
But ended up slaughtering both….
I'm proud of you for choosing a future,
But I'm not ready to let go.
I guess I should accept it,
And let you go your own way.
Yet acceptance won't resolve longing,
Only foster thoughts of "what if…?"
For once I won't be a coward.
I won't let us love from afar….
I'll chase you as long as I need to
And wear your defenses down….
When I've atoned for my sins and
Repaid in kind
The wrong that I've done to you
I hope you look back,
Even for that once,
And say…
''I still love you."
-Rubaba Siddique