Topsy Turvy Deadly Vu
Lydia Deetz sat in the conference room of the most elite photography centers in all of New York as her works were examined by four would be employers. Lydia worked hard at trying to get noticed by this top notch company for years; entering photography contests, displaying at major expos, and even taught a community class on photography; all of which of course she did for herself, but to be a part of this company would be a dream come true.
"Well, Miss Deetz," The first guy, CEO of the company spoke "I don't think you're what we're looking for."
"No, no, she iz good," The French woman spoke secondly "She captures ze darkness we don't wish to see in such a beautiful light."
"I agree," The obvious gay guy spoke thirdly "its beautiful work, but it needs more flair and pizzazz."
"We should give her a chance." The British nerd woman spoke finally.
The CEO looked to Lydia. "I don't think you're worth the investment," he said firmly "but since I have been out voted... I guess we'll give you a shot.
Lydia was so glad she was about to burst right from her seat. This chance of a lifetime would make New York living more affordable, it would give Lydia something to brag about during her high school reunion, and most of all, Delia would be highly envious over Lydia for making it into a company that she failed to be apart of.
The gay guy, one of four of Lydia's employers, gave her the grand tour of the company and showed her where her cubical was. The French girl, another employer, walked Lydia into a room where she would be introduced to her first assignment.
The entire room, wall to wall, was filled with skinny blonde models. Lydia grew mad that sociality only marketed blondes as the only ones who where fun and sexy; so she made it her business to photograph the opposite. The models were stuck up as expected and their attendants scrambled to clean the mess.
"Lydia, you seem like a… patient person," The French woman began "You will be working exclusively with…" she opened the door to largest most pink decorated dressing room in the whole area "Claire Brewster."
Lydia's eyes widened in shocking awe, looking at her former classmate, a spoiled rich blonde from Winter Raven, Connecticut. "Well, well…" Claire spoke as she walked over to her dark clad girlhood rival "lookie what we have here… grave girl, Lydia Deetz."
"Iz wonderful that you girls already know each other," The French woman smiled "I will go now," she said then looked to Lydia "I wish you well." And the door shut.
"Come on, Deetz, don't drool - say something." Claire urged.
Lydia couldn't believe her luck; right in front of her stood the most spoiled person she ever had to deal with through junior high and high school. When Lydia graduated from high school, she was grateful not to see Claire again; but now, fate reunited the two.
"Hi Claire," Lydia spoke in a low groaning tone as she was already annoyed by this outcome.
"Well don't be like that," Claire pouted, her bottom lip slightly puckered out "You're going to photograph me all day, Isn't that exciting?"
"No!"Lydia shouted in thought but instead said "Oh, yes," only thinking about the opportunity with the company and not her blonde former classmate. "Are we doing indoor shots or outdoor shots?"
Claire revealed a poster which was covered under a sheet. The poster had the newest business style BMW "You will take shots of me wearing a bikini in front of this."
"Too bad the shots will be taken with a camera instead of a gun,"Lydia thought but instead said "Oh goody," sarcastically
To Lydia's surprise the BMW was not something done with green screen; the car was real and it stood there, a model that had not even been released to the public yet. Lydia was ready with the camera as Claire in a shining pink bikini walked in front of the car.
"I'm ready, Deetz," Claire said then flipped her long blonde to the air and made a sexy pose in front of the car with her legs spread apart.
Lydia took down the camera away from her face "I didn't know these were supposed to be porno shots," she said sarcastically and Claire gave her the finger in response and then Lydia continued shooting the pictures.
The first guy, Lydia's head employer and CEO of the company, spoke as he entered the room "Don't forget to some wet shots and some for the topless centerfold," then hit the button for the water to stream.
Claire, all glistening and wet, squeezed her breast together as she unloosened one string from her bikini top and puckered her lips at him. "Claire is sleeping with the CEO. I'm not surprised," Lydia thought but still disgusted by the fact. The guy stood there drooling and probably making a mess inside his pants as he stared at Claire's now fully exposed breast "They're fake,"Lydia declared in thought, still taking the pictures in disgust.
After the photo session, Lydia settled in her cubical as the film developed. She decorated the space with spiders and bats and anything else decorative and black; the only thing that was red was her old poncho that Beetlejuice gave her when they first became friends. Lydia would often think about Beetlejuice, for she had not seen him since her college graduation.
"So…" The gay guy, the third employer, spoke when he approached Lydia's cubical "How did the shots turn out?"
Lydia took a glimpse at the timer "They're not ready yet. Ten more minutes and then I can get them from the dark room."
"Dark room?" He gasped dramatically loud and then eyed her "I don't know what cave you crawled out of, but this is the modern age missy; we use digital cameras." He said and then poked a finger at her "You better hope those pics turned out right," he warned then walked away swishing his hips like the diva he was.
Of course Lydia owned digital cameras, she owned the best name brand deemed worthy of purchasing; but to her, no modern camera took pictures like her trusty old Nikon Pro. She crossed her fingers as she entered the dark room to look at the pictures, and to her relief, they appeared just fine; The image of Claire, the BMW, and the background came in crystal clear and the lighting was perfect.
The gay guy and Claire stood right outside the dark room that hasn't been used since the late eighties. "Your… That," The gay guy pointed to Lydia "used a caveman camera to capture your perfect image" he moaned very upset and then snatched away the pictures from Lydia's hand and showed them to Claire. Lydia stood there gathering her sanity as the gay guy nitpicked every detail of every photo. "And Oooo Ooo, the caveman camera," he said tipping back like he was about to faint.
"I think the pics are fine," Claire said to Lydia's surprise "I especially like the wet shots." she said and then looked to her former classmate "Next time Deetz... use a digital cam." then walked away.
The gay guy looked to Lydia, giving her the pictures "Make these tasteful and creative and report directly to me in the morning," he said then walked away.
Later that day, Lydia finally came home to her small one bedroom apartment. She took notice of yet another bright yellow eviction envelope slid under her door. Lydia already knew that she was late paying the rent and the notice was probably another warning giving her three days to pay it. The apartment in itself wasn't worth the one thousand – five hundred per month; the living room window was cracked, there was a constant small stream of water leaking against the wall in the bathroom, and the heater never worked; but it was the cheapest apartment in a somewhat decent neighborhood.
Lydia made the living room her bedroom because the electric in her bedroom was broken, and she made microwave cooking a major art since the stove or the oven no longer turned on. Lydia sat on the couch bed, sighing heavy and then turned on the TV.
Just as Lydia began to feel at ease, the buzz on her cell phone alerted of a text message. Lydia flipped open the cell, reading its contents ~ Good job with today's photo shots and remember to bring that digital cam. Claire B ~
"Claire Brewster praised me on good work?" Lydia spoke in surprise "Well that doesn't compute," She said and then waved the though away "She's probably drunk or something."
The next morning, Lydia rose from her bed with the cell phone ringing and she answered it. "Raise and shine, Deetz," Claire greeted, sounding happy go lucky on the other end.
Lydia turned over in bed and gazed at the alarm clock "Claire, it's two a.m."
"I know that," Claire replied "You have to bring your ass down to the studio for this emergency early morning shoot."
Lydia rose from the bed and began to get ready "What's the emergency about this shoot?"
"Some Italian cake company wants photos asap."
"Alright, alright, I'll be there as fast as I can." Lydia replied then hung up and proceeded to get ready; when done; Lydia rushed out of the apartment and caught the subway.
In the office and on the way to the studio, Lydia caught notice of a rather familiar face – It was Ginger – but she looked alive and not the ghostly nineteen-twenties dancing flapper starlet she has grown to know. Lydia slowly approached her desk. "Ginger?"
The short woman looked at Lydia, peering through her glasses "Yes ma'am, how may I help you?" said in that thick Jersey accent Lydia remembers so clearly.
How could Lydia trust that the Ginger in front of her is the same Ginger she knew from the Netherworld? They looked and sounded exactly alike – but it couldn't possibly be the same person.
"Oh, I know you…" Ginger said, her face lit up with a bright smile "You're the new girl - The one with the caveman camera."
"Humph, news travels fast" Lydia thought but instead said "Oh, yeah, that's me."
"Well it's not fair that you know my name but I don't know yours," Ginger pointed out and then extended her hand "Nice to meet you, um…"
"Lydia," She said her name while shaking Ginger's hand "You just reminded me of a dear friend of mine."
Ginger smiled "I get that a lot lately."
Just then, the flaming gay guy walked up to Lydia "You mustn't keep the models waiting," He scolded and lead her to the studio entrance "Now go in there and work that camera."
Lydia once again was surrounded by blondes; one blonde was yelling at her assistant for bringing the wrong type of name brand water, another even smashed a cream cheese bagel in her assistant's face, and well – there were countless others who suffered. Lydia entered Claire's dressing room and saw that her former classmate wearing a long glittering red dress, powdering her nose in front of the mirror.
"What took you so long?" Claire asked impatiently.
"I had to wait for the train." Lydia simply replied as she removed the camera from her bag. "This cake photo. Is it to promote birthday or a wedding or…"
Claire stopped applying her lipstick and gave Lydia an odd look "You didn't get the memo huh..." Lydia shook her head "It's for Christmas ad" she finished off.
"Christmas?" Lydia retorted "It's the middle of freakin' June and you woke me two in the morning for something that's seven months away! Why?"
"Don't blow a gasket, Deetz," Claire said calmly and oh so casually "You act like you're the only one that got woken up. The company woke me before midnight – If one could call it being woke up – I didn't even see my bed."
Lydia regained composure and made adjustments to the camera "Ok, so after the Christmas shots, then…"
"Then shots for the Marilyn Monroe diamond jewelry line, and Pretty in Pink perfume, and then…" Claire continued with enthusiasm
"Claire's endless annoying talking, powered by Starbucks coffee." Lydia interrupted sarcastically.
Claire crossed her arms "Very funny, Deetz," she huffed.
"I try to be comical whenever I see a comical moment," Lydia countered and then gathered the camera equipment "Let's just do this and get it over with," she spat and left the room.
In the studio, Claire posed in front a giant cassata cake as Lydia took the shots but it wasn't until the Marilyn Monroe shots were Claire really stood out; with hair done up and the signature white dress, Claire looked exactly like the infamous nineteen-fifties sex icon – but… Lydia would never admit that of course.
"Oh baby, the photos look fantastic," The CEO came to Claire with a big smile and gave her a hug "I bet Marilyn Monroe is looking down from heaven so proud yet so enormously envious of you."
"Oh brother,"Lydia huffed in thought, rolling her eyes.
"After your Pretty in Pink project, let's do lunch" The CEO finished off.
Claire blushed oh so cute, batting her eyes like some daddy's girl. "Oh, I would love to," she said, sexy in tone "but I have a previous engagement" and then giggled flirtatiously while straightening his tie "Maybe next time."
"Yes… of course… next time," The CEO said, covering the annoyance in his tone with a pleasant smile and left.
After a long day of taking countless photos of Claire and listening to brown nosing sidekicks and fan girls kiss her ass, Lydia packed away the camera equipment and worked the photo software in her cubical. The only other people in the area were the evening cleaning crew, the computer nerds, the accountants, and a twelve year old girl who peaked inside Lydia's cubical.
"I know you're spying on me," Lydia spoke, still making photoshop adjustments to Claire's pictures and then stopped a moment to look at the girl "What's your name?"
"Amber," the girl replied, being shy in nature "What's yours?"
"Lydia," She answered "Are you lost or something?"
Amber shook her head "No, I know this whole building inside and out"
"Where are your folks?" Lydia questioned.
"My mom has last minute business," Amber replied "You know grown ups always say 'Give me ten more minutes, but what they really mean is ten more hours."
Lydia studied the girl and every detail reminded her of her old classmate and friend, Bertha. The girl had long light brown hair and a cute beaver tooth smile, except this girl didn't need braces. "I'm sure it's not that bad."
"Maybe not," Amber admitted "but at least I can use the extra free time to study or watch the nerds duke it over an on-line play of Dungeons and Dragons. What do you do here?"
"Take pictures," Lydia simply replied, still bitter that Claire is the center focus of her career in photography "What do you do besides spy on people?"
"I wasn't spying," Amber spoke in defense "I was observing."
"Oh… so that's what it's called," Lydia smirked "It still an invasion of privacy."
Amber thought for a moment and formed a sad face "Oh," she sighed and began to walk away until she was gently stopped by Lydia's hand.
"You could observe with permission," Lydia urged, giving the girl a smile "You can hang out with me, if you want."
"Really…?" Amber smiled in excitement, then Lydia patted the empty seat next to her and the child sat down. "Thank you Lydia; no one has ever let me inside their cubical before."
"Not even, Ginger?" Lydia asked in curiosity.
Amber shook her head "Ginger doesn't have a cubical, she a receptionist. She brings me homemade rice krispy treats occasionally and we eat lunch together when I'm on summer break."
"That's sound like something the Ginger I know would do."Lydia thought but instead said "Well that's nice."
"Are you almost finished with your project?" Amber asked, looking at the computer screen.
Lydia returned attention to the project and finished the last portion of it. "It is now," She said and then looked to the girl "I going to leaving for home soon," and logged off the computer "Are you going to be alright by yourself?"
Amber waved a casual hand "I'll be fine, I'm always alone." And then walked Lydia to the elevator and pressed the down button "I'll ride with you to the lobby," she said and then entered the elevator with Lydia as it opened.
The lights of the elevator flickered on and off as the pace of the elevator slowed down "Somebody's probably fooling around with the circuit breaker again," Amber declared then the elevator made a sudden fast drop and Lydia covered the girl's head with her own body.
"Are you alright?" Lydia asked full of concern, and just then, a loose florescent bulb from the elevator ceiling knocked Lydia unconscious to the ground.
~ "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" ~
The magic that crackled the air activated by the call of his name had not worked since Lydia's college graduation. She remembered Beetlejuice and the Netherworld just as clearly as the days of her youth, but years had passed since then and everything stopped and grew cold.
The doors to the elevator were forced opened by the firemen and the EMS guys grabbed Lydia and immediately placed her on the stretcher. Lydia was in a daze but still looked around and noticed the girl she was protecting was missing from her arms "Amber?..." She called "Amber?..." she looked around, rolling in the stretcher, not seeing or hearing anything from the girl. "There was a little girl in the elevator with me," she informed one EMS guy and when their eyes met, she saw it was the younger brother of her ghostly best friend "Donny…?" She spoke in confusing awe and then the weakness overwhelmed her and became unconscious once more.
After a while, Lydia clearly overheard rambling about and announcements over the PA system. Lydia rose from the stretcher and quickly discovered that she was in the hospital. She looked to the heart monitor, which by the sound of it, she was very much alive.
Even though Lydia was very tired and suffering a massive headache, she was still concerned about Amber. She walked around and to the emergency room nurse's desk to ask about the girl's whereabouts, but she just got strange stares in return. As Lydia walked toward the water cooler for a cup of water, she took notice of Donny seated inside the EMS break room, reading a newspaper.
Lydia never once imaged Donny as an EMS worker, but he always did have a great love for helping people, and so seeing him do this would be appropriate. "Donny?.." she called, gaining his attention and he immediately stood from the table and went by her side "There was a little girl with me inside the elevator. What happened to her?"
Donny shook his head "There was no little girl, Lydia – You were the only one in the elevator."
"No little girl…?" Lydia retorted in awe, knowing that she wasn't alone in the elevator "but… that's impossible,"
"The firemen pried open the door, another fella and I took you out, and the police did the rest," Donny informed "There was nobody else but you." Lydia felt sad and began to cry "Oh, Lydia, honey…" Donny removed a handkerchief from his pocket and gently patted away her tears "everythin' goin' to be alright," he said and then returned her to her assigned bed space.
Lydia dreamt of the Netherworld and her world, both of which held its pleasures and its pain; but Lydia would often wonder how the world would be if things were combined. She wanted to see her friends happy but yet have her own happiness - but that was ruined with Claire Brewster.
Lydia woke to sudden find herself in some strange house. The house was large, not like a mini mansion but damn near close; and it was decorated just as her ghostly friends, the Maitlands, would have had their house decorated. The pastel colors and flower bordered wall paper and designer lace window treatments.
Lydia slowly descended the stairs and looked outside; and in shocked awe, she found herself in the middle of the suburbia. The houses damn near looked alike with perfectly trimmed lawns and colorful flower beds; it was like Lydia walked into an outdoor scene of the Stepford Wives movie. Lydia kneeled down on the grass, and just to give herself a smack of reality, she began chewing the grass.
"Lydia," The voice called to her and she snapped up to take the gaze at another friend of hers – there stood Prince Vince - but this time he wasn't wearing a crown or royal attire, he wore a business suit and still carried a British accent "What the devil are you doing?" he asked, assisting her to her feet and then escorted her to the patio chair. "I made pancakes," he informed and then pointed a finger to her as he went to get the plate "Don't eat grass," he said then left.
Lydia sat there helplessly in shocking awe as she gazed at these unfamiliar surroundings. "What is this place?" she questioned herself. It wasn't New York, it wasn't Winter Raven, and it definitely wasn't the Netherworld.
"Beetle, get your lazy ass out of bed!" Vince's shout was heard echoing through the house and Lydia rushed to where they were.
Beetlejuice, curled deep in the cover inside the guest room, "Just ten more minutes," he groaned.
Vince then smacked Beetle's ass with a long thin learning stick.
Beetle grumped as he looked at Vince "Good morning, Mr. Sadist," he spat sarcastically and then rose from the bed, giving his back a much need stretch.
"Get up and go to work" Vince said firmly and then hit Beetle once more with the learning stick.
"Hey dammit, that was my balls!" Beetle growled
Vince folded his arms "Well if you would just get up and go to work like you're suppose to, your saggy scrotum wouldn't be in harms way," he countered.
"My what…?" Beetle gave Vince a confused glace when the Brit used a proper medical word for the manly body part.
"Never mind you idiot," Vince said then walked away.
Lydia entered the guest room while Beetle was in the shower and waited until he came from the bathroom. Lydia knew Beetle and knew that bathing for him was a rarity; but when he opened the bathroom door, he was the cleanest she has ever seen of him – and clean looked very good on him.
"What's you doin' in here?" Beetle asked when he saw her "Shouldn't be restin' or somethin'…? You did suffer a nasty gash on the noggin'."
Lydia touched her forehead and found a big bump on the front of it; and it hurt to no end. "Beetlejuice, where am I?" Beetle gave Lydia an odd stare and then gathered his clothes to change in the bathroom sense she was sitting on his bed and couldn't freely do it there. "BJ, I need to know," she urged in plea "Where am I?"
Beetle once again walked from the bathroom, he wasn't wearing his signature black and white striped suit like Lydia was expecting; he wore a dark navy police uniform.
Lydia eyes widen in shock upon seeing this "Beetlejuice…? A police officer…? Now that didn't compute"She thought and looked to him still waiting for an answer to the question she asked.
Beetle, still giving his friend an odd stare, cleared his throat and told her "You're in Peaceful Pines."