Divaricate
King's Cross Station.
Andromeda stopped at the crossing and looked upon the building's façade. This may be the last year she would ever visit the place. Seven years ago she despised the thought of going; when the time came she begged Harry to take the responsibility for her. Within the station were memories. Memories of Dora. Of Ted. Andromeda was not keen on seeing ghosts. If she allowed herself, she would see Dora at eleven or seventeen; she would see her younger self and Ted reuniting at every start of the year. She missed them. She missed their voices… but she didn't want to hear it in her grandson or the children. It was difficult enough to look at Ed and see Dora in his ever changing appearance or be reminded of her loneliness when they called his nickname. To see him off Hogwarts for the first time… she thought it would break her.
She sighed. In the end, she made that first visit. And she managed to do it six more times.
Andromeda looked over her shoulder and smiled. "Get a move on, Ed!"
"Hang on." Edward, whose hair was a spectacle of pastel rainbow, stared at his mobile phone.
"Honestly, how could I be sixty and faster than you?"
"I beg your pardon." Finally he looked at her, waving the device. "I am busy being important."
Andromeda rolled her eyes. "Importantly late, you mean."
At last, the cheeky boy caught up to her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. "We're not late, gran. Everyone's just stupid early."
"That is not comforting."
Ed released her and stared at his mobile again. This time, he led the way. "Right, let's go."
They entered the station. Being a Tuesday, it bustled with people. Though he rarely looked up from his mobile, Ed continued to lead the way. It was a miracle he managed to avoid crashing into anyone. Andromeda caught up with him, making sure he didn't actually crash. For some reason, she was more aware of her history with the place than ever before. It had changed over the years—the inevitability of progress. It seemed to scream at her, reminding her that it had been seventeen years… hadn't she moved on yet?
They were close. Andromeda witnessed some families going through the pillars. She guided Ed after them and in an instant a much more familiar sight greeted them. The Hogwarts Express loomed majestically before them. The platform teemed with families engaging in final conversations and returning students reuniting with friends. Children embarking on their first year seemed to be separated in two camps: excited and emotional. Andromeda watched them wistfully. Dora was both during her first time.
The pair weaved through the crowd. The moment Andromeda spotted a cluster of bright red hair she knew they were close. Before they even arrived Ed's nickname rang throughout the platform, followed by a chorus of greetings. Ed looked up from his mobile just as Victoire Weasley shot out of the crowd and into his waiting arms. Whistles and laughter erupted. Soon enough, the couple was swallowed by the Weasley and Potter cousins in a flurry of embraces and cheerful chatter. Andromeda was left behind to happily ignore the stares directed at her.
"Hullo, Andromeda."
Harry approached her, smiling warmly. Behind him stood Hermione, Ginny, Fleur, and Audrey, talking with each other. Ron, meanwhile, had his back turned and engaged in animated conversation with Percy, George, and Bill. It was nearly the whole ensemble—the only ones missing were Charlie and George's wife, Angelina.
Well… not the only ones, really.
"Harry," Andromeda said, smiling back. "How are you?"
"Well, thank you—"
"Andy!"
"Oh!" a bundle of red hair and energy barrelled into her torso. Air escaped her lungs and she nearly topped, but she managed to catch the bundle and secure them against her. "Hello, my dear Lily."
"Lily, don't just jump at people like that," Harry admonished.
Lily Luna winced. "Sorry, dad… sorry, Andy."
"Oh, it's fine." Andromeda smoothed the girl's hair. "Good summer, Lily?"
Lily Luna nodded, looking up at Andy with bright brown eyes. "The best!"
"That's excellent to hear—"
"Loony Lily! Where's my hug, eh?" Ed finally emerged from the crowd, face flushed and grinning happily. Lily Luna was quick to disengage from Andromeda. Despite being small she ran fast, launching herself at Ed. He caught her; her laughter echoed throughout the platform as he twirled her around. Once again, Ed was surrounded by the group—this time with Lily Luna in tow. They were possibly the loudest crowd in the whole platform, capable of drowning out almost all noise in the area.
"This family is… big," Andromeda commented.
"You tell me," Harry laughed. "Coming from a small family myself this looks like a village."
"The Black family at its peak was around the same size… but not as cheerful."
"Yeah? Now that you say that I imagine the gatherings to be more austere."
Andromeda chuckled at that, but did not say anymore. She watched the clan talking and laughing, happy that her grandson was a part of such joy. Harry was not far off; gatherings for the Black family were never about happiness or love. Departures for Hogwarts were not different. Her father would impart a short warning to remain above their lowly classmates, to uphold the grace and prestigious status of House Black. Meanwhile, their mother all but commanded them to stay away from Muggleborns, blood traitors, and Half-Bloods. At a young age that was all Andromeda ever knew until… her smile dimmed. Until she met Ted and had Dora. It was different with them—brighter, happier, more natural. It was full of love. In her first year Dora was both in tears and laughter; in her seventh she had grown into a unique young woman. When she left for the final time she promised that she'd make her best effort. Tears stung the back of Andromeda's eyes. She should be here. With Remus. They should be here to see Ed off to his final year.
The group was not complete… but even if it were it was never complete in the first place.
It never would be.
A whistle rang throughout the platform, signalling fifteen minutes before the train departed. The cousins dispersed to their respective families. Harry departed to reunite with his wife and firstborn, who was the first to attend Hogwarts. Victoire returned to her family after separating from Ed, who made his way toward Andromeda.
When he was close enough Andromeda enveloped him in a tight embrace, which Ed returned. She swallowed back the tears—there was no place for them today. They parted, but she held on to his hands. Squeezing gently, she looked into his eyes. "Your parents… your grandfather… they would have been so proud today," she said, voice trembling, "proud of you and everything you accomplished. You know that, don't you?"
The smile Ed gave her was confused and gentle. "Of course."
"My family disowned me," she continued, "but at the same time I left them."
"I… I don't—"
"I chose my family, Ed," she said, squeezing his hands again. "And it got me you."
"Gran…"
"But you..." she trailed off as tears clung to her lashes, "you lost yours before you could even choose." Then, she beamed at him and gestured at the group before them. "However, they gave you the best family any person could ever hope for."
Ed looked at the group and smiled. "I know."
"You must hold them close, Edward. Hold them close and never let go." She reached up and he ducked down so she could brush his wayward locks back. "Trust them. Love them. Treasure them. Protect them. They will be there for you always, whatever you need."
"Grandmum—"
"Understand?"
"Yes." Edward nodded empathically, holding Andromeda's hand to his cheek. "I do. I—are you all right? Should I be worried?"
"I am all right." She shook her head and chuckled, hands now dropping to her sides. "I just want you to remember what I said."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Edward." She raised her brows in challenge before tilting her chin up. "Now, give me a kiss."
Ed pecked Andromeda's cheeks. "I will miss you."
"And I you, my child. You must write to me. None of that messaging or e-mail business—a proper letter, you hear?"
"I promise."
He smiled in the same brilliant way Dora did. The whistle rang again for five minutes until departure. Andromeda embraced him again. "Good. I love you. Be safe."
"You too." With one last kiss on her forehead, Ted made his way to the doors. The rest of the cousins attending ran after him. He gave way for them so they could enter first. He faced Andromeda and waved. "Bye!"
Waving back, she watched as the children left for another year of schooling. In Ed Andromeda saw flashes of her daughter—of Dora's past and the future she could have had. For the most part, she was glad that this was the last time she had to do this, but on the other she dreaded having to completely let go of Edward once he graduated.
"Andromeda."
Andromeda faced Harry and saw the family smiling at her. "Yes?"
"Would you like to have dinner with us?"
She caught Lily Luna's hopeful face and chuckled. "I'd love to."
"Yes!" Lily Luna shot out of Ginny's side and once again barrelled into Andromeda.
"Oh be gentle with me, my dear," Andromeda huffed as she caught the child. "I'm not as young as I used to be."
Andromeda was on the last leg of her shopping trip. She needed just a few more ingredients for the pudding she planned to take to the Potters tonight. She stepped out of the greengrocer with a loud farewell and made for the apothecary. She walked at a brisk pace, shooting through the crowd. She crossed the cobbled path, gaze falling to the entrance of Florean Fortescue's. What she saw made her freeze.
Coming out of the shop was…
No. No. She must leave before she was noticed. Hurriedly, she pivoted on her feet and returned from where she came—
"Andromeda?"
That voice. She froze again. No. This could not be happening. Andromeda closed her eyes and sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. She dearly wished this was a dream. Unfortunately, when she opened her eyes again she found herself facing the person she never expected nor wanted to see for the rest of her life.
Narcissa.
"Andromeda…" she whispered with wide eyes. "Andromeda…"
Andromeda remained silent, unsure of what to say.
A ghost of a smile crossed Narcissa's face—hopeful and cautious. Then she stepped forward, hand reaching out. "Andromeda!"
"Grandmother?"
A young boy with blond hair and grey eyes sidled beside her, accompanied by a brunette woman with hazel eyes and a politely curious expression. Andromeda watched, intrigued despite her shock, as Narcissa turned to the two and spoke to them in low volume. The boy looked up at Narcissa steadily, nodding and answering to everything she said. The woman, however, kept glancing at Andromeda. When she was caught looking she gave a small smile, which Andromeda did not return. Now would be the perfect opportunity to walk away, to forget this ever happened. However, doing that would cause more trouble than what she's willing to tolerate.
Before long the boy and the woman went on their way, but not before the child embraced Narcissa. He walked ahead without a word to Andromeda, but the woman gave her a final smile before following the child. A strange familiarity assailed Andromeda as she watched the two. The boy looked like a carbon copy of both Lucius and Draco; there was not a single trace of Narcissa in that child.
"Would you… like some tea?"
Blue eyes crossed Andromeda's vision, forcing her to look at Narcissa again. She stared, unable to muster any sort of emotion towards the hesitant request. "All right."
Nodding, Narcissa led the way. Andromeda followed. The tea shop was five shops away from Fortescue's. It was new, built just a year or two ago. In contrast to the almost rickety appearance of the surrounding shops, this small café appeared modern with its bright décor and open space. Young people wouldn't stop flocking to it and soon enough, elderly wizards and witches like herself also started to frequent the place.
The bell rang as Narcissa entered, holding the door open for Andromeda. There was a soft chorus of greeting and a chirpy instruction to take a seat. After thanking the staff, Narcissa exited the café and approached the outside tables. Andromeda took the chair nearest to her and Narcissa sat across. In an instant, Andromeda found herself holding a menu and saw that Narcissa was the same.
Narcissa started reading, but Andromeda didn't. She continued to stare. This woman was once her youngest sister and she couldn't help drinking in the sight of her. For years she had to question herself whether her family had actually existed—did she have a mother? A father? Two sisters? It seemed like a dream, something so far away that perhaps she had only deluded herself living in it. To see Narcissa now after so long… well, it certainly was not an illusion. She remembered. The last time they properly saw each other was when Druella threw her out. She remembered Narcissa's face that day, the hurt and betrayal she did not hide. In the days leading to her confession, Andromeda was so certain of her choice. Narcissa's face that day was the only time that Andromeda faltered… that she truly understood what she gave up.
"S-so…" Narcissa began after clearing her throat. She looked at the top of the menu at her. "How are you—?"
"That child I saw," Andromeda interrupted. Narcissa closed her mouth. "Your grandson?"
"Oh. Oh, yes." A gentle smile crossed her face. "Yes. Scorpius Hyperion."
At that, Andromeda could not help smile herself. A heavenly name. Of course. "The woman?"
Narcissa's smile disappeared. "My… my daughter-in-law. Astoria Greengrass."
Pureblood, but Andromeda did not miss Narcissa's expression. "They seem to be well."
"Yes."
She nodded and read the menu as she asked her next question: "And Lucius? Draco?"
"They are in good health."
Her fingers tightened slightly. "I see."
A levitating parchment pad and quill floated before them. Narcissa quickly perused the menu and gave her choices. Andromeda did the same, though she didn't remember what she chose. As the quill scribbled on the parchment, she stole glances at Narcissa. She was still poised; Andromeda saw Druella's teachings in the way she held herself. Of course, she was no longer young. Narcissa had more lines around the eyes and mouth now; underneath her eyes were visible dark circles. Was it the exhaustion of being a grandmother? Or had the war and its aftermath finally taken its toll on her as it had taken its toll on everyone involved?
"And you?" Narcissa asked as the parchment and quill levitated away and the menus disappeared. "How… how are you?"
"Oh…" she clasped her hands on the table. "I am well… now."
Narcissa nodded. "And… your grandson? Is he doing well?"
The mention of Edward prickled Andromeda. It was strange to hear it from Narcissa—was it because it was surprising that she remembered or surprising that she cared enough to know about him? Andromeda did not know how to feel, except discomfort. She would not forget the fact that the woman in front of her had married and supported a man who blindly followed a madman who was the ultimate cause of Ed's orphanage.
All because of something moronic like prejudice.
But Narcissa was the impressionable daughter. She followed nothing but Druella's teachings, their father's overwhelming expectations. Was it any surprise that she chose what she chose? Was it any surprise that her choices led them both here, in this moment?
"He's well. I saw him off today—final year in Hogwarts, you see." Andromeda answered.
"Ah…" Narcissa smiled. "Congratulations."
She didn't answer. Forgiveness and grudges… she never thought about it. She never gave herself time to consider it. When she lost Dora and Ted she mourned, but not for long. Ed was just a baby, he had just lost his parents—he needed her. She pushed everything back and cared for him. That had been her sole focus all these years. Without having to think about the things that had happened to her and her family, what feelings she should have had diminished. With Narcissa in front of her, however, she tried to revisit those faded emotions, tried to muster any anger… all she got was exhaustion.
It's been seventeen years.
"Why are we here, Narcissa?" she said.
The bit of hope in Narcissa's expression dimmed. Andromeda watched as she opened her mouth and then closed it. She struggled to talk, looking down at her hands and fidgeting. "The…" she began with a low voice, "the last time we saw each other… was when mother…"
"I remember," Andromeda said, voice soft, "I still don't see the point."
"When—when Potter offered himself to… to the Dark Lord…" Narcissa swallowed hard, hesitating, but after a look at Andromeda she continued. "Of all the things to remember… it was that moment. I kept repeating it in my head… even when he asked me to check if Potter was dead. It's… I suppose, it's… what made me decided to choose…"
Andromeda blinked. "Choose what?"
"The people I love."
"I see." What was she supposed to feel? "Should I congratulate you?"
"No! No—no, that wasn't my intention." Narcissa shook her head. "I just… I just wanted to let you know that… you were right. In the end. Always have been."
"Good for you, Narcissa."
Silence fell between them. It was awkward. In the past such silences never existed between them. They used to talk of everything and nothing. Andromeda's heart twinged, a minute pain that rippled throughout her body. They were strangers. It made sense. They've been apart for nearly two decades; in that time they had grown to be two different people. Narcissa seemed to think that the war was too far away from them now to be an obstacle. Not for Andromeda. It was in Edward, the silence of her home, the gravestones she visited. While she didn't know if she ever held a grudge against Narcissa herself, she couldn't forget. She had moved on, but she stayed in the same place at the same time.
"I'm sorry, this was a mistake." Narcissa stood and made to leave.
"Yes it was," Andromeda answered, making Narcissa stop and stare incredulously at her. "You shouldn't have called me, Narcissa. You should have moved on."
"But it's you, Andromeda! It's you!" Narcissa nearly slammed her things back on the table. She sat back down and reached out to grip Andromeda's hands with both her own. She still held on too tightly, Andromeda noted. "I haven't—haven't seen you in years and all the things I've heard were hearsay and rumours!"
Andromeda sighed. "Narcissa…"
"Bella is dead," her voice cracked, "so are mother and father and Regulus and even Sirius! We're the only ones left! What else am I meant to do?"
"I was disowned." She sat back and tried to retract her hands, but Narcissa held on. "House Black being on the brink of extinction does not magically make me part of it again."
"So that's it," Narcissa snapped. "You're still angry that mother disowned you."
"I was never angry."
"Yes, you were. You hated us."
"No. I was devastated, but never angry." Andromeda pulled one hand out and placed it on top of Narcissa's. "The truth is, Narcissa, we have grown apart. I fear… our differences are the kind that can never reconcile."
"Andromeda—"
"And I don't want to." This time, she looked into Narcissa's eyes. Those blue eyes gleamed, dews of tears clung to her lashes. Andromeda's heart twinged again. It was that look… that same, exact expression. Betrayal. Hurt. Merlin, it was like leaving her a second time. Guilt crawled slowly within her, winding its tendrils within her and squeezing tightly. But she couldn't. She couldn't. The first time, before everything was destroyed, she could have… but now, when she only had one thing left… she couldn't. "I am exhausted, Narcissa. So exhausted. And I can't forget."
"You don't have to," Narcissa sniffled, "I didn't. If we could just—"
"I am terribly sorry, Narcissa. But I cannot."
She bowed her head and sobbed. Andromeda watched, guilt filling her to the brim and feeling very much like a monster. "Andromeda, you are my sister…"
"I was," Andromeda corrected. "I am that no longer."
Narcissa shook her head. "But what am I supposed to do now?"
She squeezed gently. "You move on. Just like you have done before seeing me again."
"I can't—"
"You are so lucky, Narcissa. Your family is whole and growing. You chose them, yes?"
"Y-yes…"
"Then they are your family now. Just as I had chosen mine years ago."
"Andromeda…"
She squeezed again. "Love them. Protect them. Treasure them."
"But I also choose you—"
Andromeda's heart broke and a tear slid down her cheek. "Please, Cissy, do as I say for once."
Narcissa looked up, eyes red and expression stricken. She withdrew her hands and dug into her purse for a handkerchief, which she used to wipe the corners of hers and her nose. "R-right," she said, slowly returning to the grace and poise she exhibited earlier. "I… I understand."
"I expect not to see you again after this." Andromeda withdrew her hands as well.
Narcissa nodded. Then they looked at each other, two old women who were the product of their choices. One had destroyed the other and one had fought against the other. Though they lived in peaceful times they were too damaged, too changed to return to whom they were before… to again possess what they had before.
"I am…" Narcissa murmured. Andromeda's breath hitched. "I am so—so very sorry."
"Thank you." Narcissa meant it. Andromeda smiled and rose to leave. "Well… this is goodbye."
Narcissa, her youngest sister, nodded. "Goodbye."
