CHAPTER 1
Broken, he looked broken. Officer Lora Pace almost stumbled across him in the corridor at the end of her shift, bone weary, longing for rest, and found him half-slumped against the black wall. His face bleeding and his breathing ragged. He was almost unrecognisable with his red hair falling forward over his face, mussed from where his fingers had run through it. General Hux was usually so immaculate and well groomed. The model of a ideal First Order leader. Lora stood watching him silently as others walked quickly past, averting their eyes, trying not to see their General in distress. But she found herself unable to walk past and pretend she hadn't seen him.
She watched a trickle of bright red blood, stark against his pale skin, meander from his bottom lip down his chin. Fumbling in her uniform pocket she found a tissue and held it out like an offering. It seemed like such an inadequate gesture for her commanding officer, Lora berated herself, but at least it was clean.
As the white square of tissue reached his line of sight, Hux raised his head, his gaze meeting hers for the first time; Green eyes flaming with pain and anger. Swallowing down panic, Lora fought an instinctual urge to run. He was intimidating at a distance, but up close he was strangely captivating, even bruised and bleeding. She knew the contours of his face almost as well as her own having spent each shift on the Finalizer's bridge, trying not to follow him with her eyes and failing. His footsteps had a distinctive sound as he walked down the runway towards the gentle curve of the bridge where she was stationed. When on occasion his green eyes had met hers she'd glanced away instantly, his expression impenetrable as ever.
Lora's reaction when Snoke had used the Force to smash Hux to the polished black floor and drag his body like a doll had been to run to help. Her colleague to her left had laid her hand over hers as Pace had moved to turn and stare at the huge image of Snoke hung suspended above the bridge and Hux who lay under it. Don't, Osama's hand implied. Don't look, don't see, don't be seen. Pace had yet to master her First Order colleague's ability to squash their emotional responses to such brutality, even after six months of being onboard the ship. Nothing in her academy training had prepared her; This wasn't the Order she thought she had joined.
She'd been unable to help then, maybe now she could.
"For your lip," Pace stammered as his gaze silently bore into her. Wordlessly she leant forward and wiped the line of blood with the cloth, leaving a red shadow behind.
"I don't need your pity," he hissed, grabbing her wrist. She frowned, confused that her intent wasn't blatantly clear. Later, she wondered if that's why she had done it, to make her reasons clear. Or perhaps it had just been sheer insanity.
"This isn't pity," she replied softly and leaning towards him again her lips brushed against his. A kiss, tender and gentle, like a whisper.
Lora immediately retreated, cheeks reddening, suddenly conscious of what she had just done. Hux had a very particular way of looking at people, like he was adding their names to a kill list. Pace decided not to look back and analyse the look he was probably giving her right now as she willed her legs to carry her down the corridor, the tissue caught tight in her fist.
Kissing your commanding officer was definitely not a First Order–sanctioned move. As she fled she was waiting for his shout to stop, to explain herself, for guards to drag her away to a cell for insubordination. What was the punishment for sexually assaulting another officer, no, worse, she winced, a superior officer?
Slumped on her lower bunk in the cramped quarters she shared with 3 other junior officers, Lora tried to process what the fuck had just happened. Logically, she could have blamed lack of sleep, or emotional exhaustion witnessing an entire First Order ship taken out by the Resistance in front of the vast bridge window. It had been a tough few weeks, many of her colleagues had lost friends on the starkiller base, a loss that they had all tried to reframe as anger against the Rebels, but was still felt now they had lost a dreadnought, adding to their rage. At least for the moment she was alone so she could let her tears run freely down her cheeks without fear.
Lora couldn't lie to herself though, the kiss couldn't be blamed on those losses. It was all her fault, her doing. She'd worked so hard to get here, into the Academy, get promoted and try to follow in her father's footsteps. He'd always believed in the Empire, even in its dying days - and maybe that's why she'd joined the First Order, looking for something greater than herself to believe in. Looking for order and a sense of control over aa life without her parents and no idea what to do next. Lora swore to herself quietly; Had she screwed it all, with one small, not even proper, kiss?
Pace knew she had always been different from her colleagues, had to work harder than them to succeed, to control her emotions as they did. Now she had thrown it all away by letting her true feelings for a man who's longest sentence to her over six months had been so far "Report back to me if the diagnostics raise any further issues". Not that she had remembered every encounter with him of course. Cursing at herself under her breath again she straightened her back and her uniform. Lora wiped away her tears with another tissue she found her in uniform pocket, wincing at the memory it evoked. Her mother had always said 'cry if you have to, but it's only delaying the decision you will have to make'. Tolerance for tears had never been her strong point, but her mother had been right. It had been a loss of control, but it was done.
There was only one thing Lora could try to save the situation or at least give herself a chance of retaining her position on the Finalizer a little longer. Pace grabbed her black datapad from the rumpled bed and started typing.
CHAPTER 2
Some hours later Hux paced the bridge of the Supremacy, having transferred to the larger ship to take command of the entire fleet, impatient at what had turned into the galaxy's most boring high speed chase. Snoke had been pleased with his hyper-tracking, Hux smiled thinly at the memory, somewhat countering the more painful one of being thrown like a rag doll after the loss of the dreadnought. Now it was a matter of waiting for the Resistance to run out of fuel, given that jumping off into hyperspace was no longer an option, due to his work, his planning. Patience had never been his strong point, but all they had to do was wait and the Rebels would be destroyed.
His hands kept clasping and unclasping in irritation as he walked up and down the length of the bridge windows, frightening the life out of his officers as he peered past their shoulders onto their monitors, trying to distract himself from his nerves. She wasn't there of course, the dark haired officer from the other day, who had ...no, he couldn't even think the words, it still seemed ludicrous. But Officer Pace was on the Finalizer with the rest of his crew. He'd known her name for months, he couldn't remember why he'd asked Lieutenant Mitaka in the first place, perhaps when he had found himself staring into her brown eyes and been surprised at the flush he was sure had appeared on her face as she had looked away. One thing she hadn't looked was afraid. Hux hadn't been sure whether to be impressed or annoyed; Fear was a good way of exerting control over people, and he liked control.
"I'm conducting random checks on officers on the Finalizer." Hux said with studied nonchalance, surprising Captain Peavey who looked up from his red-lit console.
"Officer Lora Pace, can you pull up her record for me?" Captain Peavey handed him a datapad, which Hux quickly scanned
"Any issues?"
Peavey allowed himself a narrow smile, of all the bridge officers she was one of his finest. He'd even swear that the fact that she was the daughter of a friend who had died in the Battle of Jakku years ago wasn't even influencing his good opinion. Good family, hard worker, and he would never tell his superior officer this, but he was secretly pleased that she hadn't been a product of one of Hux's First Order officer 'factories'. Peavey was old school and admired good old fashioned and ambition.
"Exemplary Sir. Recent transfer in from the Conqueror. Had applied 3 times to transfer because she wanted to work with the best. Highly motivated, excellent work. Will go far." the pride was unmistakable in the Captain's voice. Peavey studied his superior's face for a clue to his motives; Hux never did anything for no reason.
The General nodded almost absentmindedly, he'd expected as much, you didn't get on his ship without being the best. Which made her behaviour even harder to fathom. Given the current circumstances he'd yet to consider what to do about her act of insubordination and it wasn't a matter he was intending to discuss with Snoke or Ren.
He was about to shut the file when a new alert flashed on the screen. Shift change request from Pace, to night rotation - his immediate thought was that she was doing it to avoid him, wanting to work when he was less likely to be on the bridge. A flood of emotions engulfed him to his surprise. Irritation, confusion and something else unfamiliar he couldn't name. First she was insubordinate with her attentions to him, and now this petty request, when he had bigger things to concern himself with?
"Peavey, what's the meaning of this?"
"Sir, it just a requested rota change, changing shift pattern. Not unusual" Peavey was becoming increasingly puzzled by Hux's sudden interest in bridge staffing personnel, this level of paperwork normally never went higher than Lieutenant Mitaka.
"For officer Pace? Denied. No staff changes on the bridge of the Finalizer. None. Understood?" Hux snapped and his irritation increased, he decided to review her files in more detail. Minutes later, another problem. No, that couldn't be right, his brow furrowing. He caught Peavey's eye and motioned him over again.
"There's something here that is wrong, can you confirm." Peavey glanced down at the datapad, a slight raise of his eyebrow the only indication that he found Hux's continuing interest in Pace unusual.
"I don't see the problem Sir?"
"It says 20. That she came in the officer training programme at 20. It must mean 10 surely?" Even that was late ;Most recruits were enrolled as young children, so they could be molded, lead, taught and taken away from childish interests. Not at 20.
"No Sir, she volunteered at 20, her mother had never been keen on her following a military career, after what had happened to her father. So when she died, Pace volunteered and sat the entrance exams. You will see from the test scores though…"
"Yes, Peavey, very well. Well, there are always anomalies. Dismissed" Hux turned and walked away, the datapad tucked into his arm, his mood darkening by the second. He should be thinking about the Resistance ships ahead of him and impressing Snoke. He shouldn't be thinking of her face, of the warm smell of her as she had leant down and kissed him.
The idea that one of his officers had bypassed the training programme that his father had built, and he had refined and improved angered him. But, he had to admit grudgingly, intrigued him. She was good at her job, her battle simulation scores had been excellent, so excellent that she had been able to successfully transfer to the Finalizer, his flagship. Her father had been a decorated Admiral of course, a good family, loyal to the Empire. But for all that, maybe her background explained where she was different from those around her - small lapses in discipline, the way she looked at him, her eyes almost challenging him. Not that he'd noticed her much at all of course, it wasn't like she was always the first face he looked for when he entered the bridge or that when he caught her eye he'd felt a pange of something undefinable. But perhaps her lack of proper training explained her lapse of emotional judgement when in the presence of a senior officer. Without conscious thought his fingers brushed his lips, replaying the sensation of her lips on his.
Not that First Order officers weren't permitted to have emotions of course, he rationalised, appropriate emotional responses could often make them better officers, as long as those feelings were trained and directed into their work. FIrst Order personnel were also permitted to have liaisons with each other, although he had noted with surprise that only two colleagues had noted in their files that they had had such interactions with Pace. It had seemed low he thought dispassionately, based on an impartial analysis of her physical attractiveness. She hadn't even bother disclosing them on her record. Ashamed? Disinterested? Perhaps indicating a lack of interest in sexual relations? Hux felt his thoughts drifting into territory he had not ventured into for years, his body beginning to respond, and sharply rebuked himself. Career before all his father had taught him. Power before everything else.
Even so, he'd have to keep an eye on her in the future, when he had time to think, time to focus on something other than this torturous pursuit of the Resistance.
CHAPTER 3
Her shift ended and off duty for 6 hours even during a period of high alert, Lora found that sleep wouldn't come. Wearily changing into her training clothes on she'd taken a turbolift down to the exercise rooms, hoping to still her mind another way. A quick nod of recognition to another officer already on a nearby treadmill and Lora started running. Slowly at first, long strides, stretching herself into the run until she could push herself harder as the distance increased. The only thing that mattered was her breathing, keeping going, pushing herself until her mind was clear. Sweat dripped down her neck, running in rivulets between her breasts as she sprinted the final few minutes until she stopped, panting and drained.
But the thoughts were still there, even in her exhaustion.
Hux may be on another ship, but he had personally taken the time to decline her request to transfer her shifts, obviously relishing his first chance to make her pay for her actions. Lora punched a hanging boxing bag in frustration, her knuckles aching from the impact. Fine, so her her emotions less controlled, less restrained than the other officers; she'd been brought up on in a home, not a star destroyer. But was that going to cost her the career that she so wanted, because of one act of madness? One momentary lapse of discipline could see her demoted, even transferred off the ship. Lora's stomach cramped at the thought, after all she'd lose him too. But it wasn't just the one lapse, she chided herself, she'd let her feelings grow and grow until they had overwhelmed her. That was the truth. Lora toyed with a bruise at the base of her right thumb, a physical reminder of how she knew she'd been lying to herself for months.
It wasn't that First Order officers weren't have desire or needs, it was an understood and expected human response that they had been trained to accept. It was a physical need, easily quenched. Pace had been approached a few times by men and women wishing to attend to their needs with her - she'd said yes twice. Both times the sex had been great, but at the end she felt a pang of loss that there was no further connection, no emotional input. Lora had wondered if it was something you were supposed to declare on your file - so they could monitor that you were normal, like heart rate or weight. Punching the bag again Lora knew why she had begun to say no - after the last time she'd felt more bonded with someone she sparred with in the gymnasium than the guy who'd been inside her. When Mitaka had approached her last week asking if she wanted to share his bed she'd declined, gently, but firmly.
She'd told Osama, the closest person to a friend she had, because they sat next to each other.
"Are you mad?" Osama had laughed, in spite of herself. "Why would you say no? He's attractive, nice enough"
"I just don't have time for that sort of thing. And anyway ... I just think he would want a performance review at the end of it, a mark out of 100. I'd probably have to write a reference for his staff file to support a promotion" Lora said, only half joking.
Osama had to nod in agreement at that, he probably would, but then again, wouldn't most of them given how competitive the Order was, everyone looking for an edge to succeed, to be noticed by Hux even?
"Oh well, I'll let you know what he's like, since I'll be next,"
Lora threw her a questioning look.
"He's working his way along the bridge, technicians next" Osama continued, in all seriousness. Lora had to laugh, you had to give the man credit for his organisation skills. But there was a way that his eyes had hardened when she had refused him that worried her; He was someone who wasn't used to being turned down and he was her superior officer.
Lora had lied of course, it wasn't that she didn't want to sleep with someone, it was who she wanted to sleep with. Her secret shame was she'd rather lie in the darkness alone, bringing herself to climax thinking of Hux, the bruise on her thumb from bite marks as she stopped herself from screaming out his name as she came. That was the choice she had made, to have no one if she couldn't have the one she wanted, and now those feelings could destroy her.
If she'd told Osama she'd roll around the floor in hysterics, her logical mind unable to process why you would throw away a career for love in the first place. But for the love of someone who was probably despising her for her lack of discipline and weakness of character? Inconceivable. Not that she'd ever admit to anyone that she'd kissed Hux, the entire star destroyer would probably explode in shock. Hux didn't do feelings, he didn't have relationships and he was probably going to eject her out an airlock as soon as he got a free moment.
The workout really wasn't helping. She grabbed a towel and wiped her face, the tears that had welled up thankfully disguised by her sweat.
CHAPTER 4
The feeling of relief that he felt as he as he walked back along the bridge of the Finalizer surprised Hux. The devastating attack on the Supremacy had taken out five star destroyers in its wake, but not his ship. His ship, his people, were safe, at least for now. Rubbing his neck, still tender from Kylo Ren's force choke when he had questioned his control over the army, he tried and failed to clear the vision of Snoke's fallen body from his mind.
Snoke was dead. That Ren would be Snoke's heir had seemed irrelevant because Snoke was never going to die. Snoke had seemed immortal, permanent, a force greater than nature itself, his origins unknown but his power unquestionable and unquenchable. That the girl Rey had killed him, and all the red guards was impossible, and he had almost laughed when Ren had told the bald-faced lie.
But whoever had killed him or why, Snoke was gone and Ren had sole power over him and the First Order. Every cell in Hux's body revolted against the realisation that Ren had complete control over him and everything that he and his father had worked so hard to build. To lose Phasma in the same day just compounded the disaster. He was on his own.
Hux lifted his gloved hands and stared at how they still shook even an hour after Ren's attack on him. Hoping no one would notice, he clasped his hands behind his back and waited for it to abate. Another urge to take a shuttle and run as far to the outer reaches as he could overtook him, but he swallowed his fear down and continued along the black walkway, nodding at staff who looked visibly relieved at his presence. Ren may not respect him, despise him even, but these were his people. At least for now.
The anger in him threatened to boil over, and he fought it down, casting his eye over the bridge crew. They would need to be informed about Snoke's death, but there were higher priorities to deal with now, like Ren's demand to launch an immediate attack on the remaining Resistance forces huddled on Crait.
Hux had come back to his command ship to lead the preparations for the attack, where he could feel at a little safer, hopefully putting a little distance between him and the new Leader, in a ship ship that hadn't been broken almost in half by a suicidal Rebel.
His eyes wandered along the bridge,his eyes on his busy crew. Perhaps they guessed a little, having witnessed Ren's outbursts and tantrums, but he envied them not realising how tenuous a hold the First Order had on the galaxy under their new Supreme Leader who would drive them to destruction in pursuit of his personal vendettas. He looked up, aware someone was missing.
The console where she normally stood was vacant, Lieutenant Mitaka standing awkwardly nearby. Hux walked over, Mitaka's face betraying anxiety that increased Hux's uneasiness.
"Where's Officer Pace? Why is she not on duty?" he asked sharply, noting the Lieutenant's unwillingness to make direct eye contact with him.
"Ah, yes Sir, she is ...we lost the signal on Snoke's escape pod. Officer Pace has gone to inform Kylo Ren of the development. He's on board and had asked to be updated" he stammered out, bracing himself for the blow that the General's expression suggested he was sorely tempted to deliver. Mitaka knew as well as Hux that as the superior officer it was his role, not Pace's, to pass on such communications. Hux's anger flared, the man was a coward, but he would deal with him later. Hux's overcoat caught the air like a black sail as he spun and stormed down the bridge leaving Mitaka quaking in his wake.
Pace had started her shift with the entire crew silenced by news of what had befallen the Supremacy and 4 star destroyers- losses too huge to quantify. News had quickly reached them that Hux and Peavey were alive and a ragged cheer had gone around the bridge, the officers and technicians almost surprising themselves at how relieved they were at the news. Lora wasn't religious but had still found herself sending a prayer into the stars thanking whatever was out there for his survival.
CHAPTER 5
Work focussed the mind, and her orders were to track the escape pod from the Supremacy, believed to contain a female Resistance fighter. With a curse she watched the pod's telltale blip fade from her screen, despite her attempts to strengthen and follow the vessel's heat signature.
"Sir, we've lost contact. The pod's signal has disappeared, we can't track it any longer" Pace turned to Lieutenant Mitaka who had been pacing aimlessly behind her for the last hour. HIs face fell, his expression panic stricken. He'd been given direct orders by Kylo Ren himself and they had just failed him. Mitaka knew only too well what happened to those who disappointed Ren. Swallowing nervously, he made a snap decision.
"Officer Pace, could you please update Kylo Ren? He's located in his quarters, preparing for the attack on Crait" his tone was formal, but his decision made, his expression suggested a more personal motivation for passing the job onto her. Pace glared back at him, but he was a superior officer and she had no reason to countermand his orders.
"Fine, Sir" Pace said, her tone that indicated that it was anything but.
Walking down the walkway, Lora worked hard to control her rising panic. She'd so far stayed out of his way, but everyone knew of his rages and the damage he'd inflicted on both First Order property and personnel.
I'll pass on the information and then leave. Simple. No reason to be afraid. She repeated it as a mantra as she took a turbolift to his quarters.
The empty corridor should have warned her to be careful, her boots echoing on the black floor, even the usual guards outside his door had made themselves scarce. The door was open, and she could see him standing by a table with his back to her, holding something black and twisted she couldn't make out.
"Sir, we lost the escape pod's signal"
Ren turned, his face expressionless as he lifted his arm and Lora flew with a cry across the room. She smashed into the wall behind her, all the air punched out of her lungs from the impact and then an iron like grip holding her off the ground. Gasping for breath, choking, her throat stoppered by an invisible hand. She brought her hands up, desperately trying to pull away the force crushing her throat as she felt consciousness start to slide away. This was it then, the end of everything, a sad little tragedy of dying simply due to the bruised ego of Mitaka.
As her vision doubled and began to darken, Lora thought she saw a tall figure cloaked in black walk slowly into the room behind Ren.
"Supreme Leader, the preparations for the annihilation of the Rebel survivors has reached a critical stage. You are required on the bridge to confirm your instructions." a familiar voice stated, voice even and calm.
Imperceptibly, Lora could feel Ren's concentration shifting from her as Hux spoke, the force grip slightly lessened on her throat as she slipped down to the floor. She squeezed her eyes shut, against the pain and trying to come to terms that perhaps her life was not at an end.
"Fine, General, I was finished here anyway" Ren stalked out of the room while Lora took deep breaths, arms clutched around her legs, trying to restore her depleted lungs. Pain like stabbing knives tore through her throat, but she was determined not to cry, even if he had already left. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"Arsehole" her voice was a hoarse whisper.
To her astonishment she heard a laugh, in her confusion she'd thought Hux had left with Ren.
"Not you, Sir. Thank you; Sir" she opened her eyes to see Hux offering her a hand, which she hesitantly took, hoping her unsteady legs would hold her. He was surprisingly close, almost brushing against her and she had to look up to see his face. Lora always forgot how tall he was.
She felt his thumb rub across her hairline, only now aware of the sting of a slight cut.
"You're bleeding. Go and get cleaned up, Mitaka can finish your shift" she noticed he almost spat out the Lieutenant's name
"No, I want to continue, I…. I want to be on the bridge while you launch the assault on Crait, Sir" she stammered, realising that she was technically defying an order, but also hoping that he would notice that as far as she was concerned, he was in charge.
Hux expression was unreadable as always, but he nodded curtly.
"As you wish. But when I return," he swallowed, giving himself time to frame the words, "When I return I want you to report to my suite straight away, understood?" his tone indicated she had no choice but to agree and Lora nodded, her confusion written over her face.
It hurt to call out as he began to turn to leave, but Lora couldn't stop herself. "Be careful"
Hux paused, nodded and then continued out the door, not looking back.
CHAPTER 6
The door to General Hux's suite slide open silently and she hesitantly walked in, no idea what to expect. She'd never been to his quarters before - having never been of high enough rank, or in trouble enough to have been summoned. They were very much as she would have expected - tidy, luxurious in a stark way. Nothing personal except one piece of art on the far wall, a photograph, almost abstract. She realised it was of rain sliding down glass; Maybe it reminded him of his home planet, Arkansis, she'd heard it always rained there. With a pang, Pace couldn't remember the last time she'd felt rain or sun on her face - another thing that she'd given up for this life.
Hux's personal protocol droid had let her in, so she had assumed that he'd be here but the rooms appeared empty. She turned to leave but the droid had bustled in behind her and insisted she stay.
"The General has requested that you make yourself comfortable, he must be held up somewhere, I'm sure he is desperately apologetic that you are being made to wait. Please, I have prepared drinks and some food" Lora raised an eyebrow at that, she suspected Hux had never felt apologetic for anything in his life.
She accepted a drink from the droid, something expensive in an exquisite glass, and waved away the offer of food. Lora was too nervous to eat, standing in the middle of the gorgeous room and wondering what the hell she was doing here.
Her options were limited, she was an officer under his command after all, but she could leave. Nothing was stopping her, yet. Sighing, she realised that running away from what scared her had never been her style. So she would stay, but the question of why she was here kept running over and over in her mind. Was she here to protect her from the Supreme Leader, possible perhaps, but unexpected kindness. Or perhaps, she was here to finally face the 'incident' in the hallway. General Hux was a man who gave nothing away.
Lora sat on the huge ice blue sofa that dominated one wall of the minimalist room, tiredness seeping through every bone, her skin felt grimy from long hours on the bridge. From the size of the suite she could only dream of how luxurious the bathroom would be, compared to the tiny cupboard she shared with her bunk-mates. The idea of hot water and fluffy towels so decadent and wonderful she couldn't resist. The way today was going she might die soon anyway, better to die clean and happy.
"Do you think I could have a shower while I wait?" Perhaps fortunately, she thought, the droid was unable to make facial expressions to indicate its surprise, but it nodded in agreement.
CHAPTER 7
When Hux had taken over the position of General, he'd decided to choose power and ambition over more physical desires. It's what his father had done, and until now he hadn't been a decision that he had even questioned.
Hux could usually predict what people would do even before they knew, it was a skill he had worked hard at perfecting, and it had saved his life more than once. But apparently he'd lost the ability to even predict what he was thinking, let along anyone else. He hadn't seen this coming. Only two days ago if he had ordered her to his quarters, he'd have told himself it was because he had wanted to demote and belittle her for daring to touch him. Make her hurt in the same way that Snoke, and Ren, took great pleasure in hurting and demeaning him. That would have been the only reason. But now? Hux had a suspicion that he'd hidden his feelings for so long from Snoke and Ren that he'd hidden them for himself too.
What she had done that day was given him hope of something that he had never dreamt of, that he wasn't alone against the galaxy. And hope was the most dangerous of all emotions. It teased him, told him that there was perhaps someone out there who cared for him, something to cling onto through the pain of the future that awaited him. Kylo hated him and he had no one to blunt that anger now Snoke was dead. The new Supreme Leader had no one to answer to and would destroy the First Order and everything Hux had built.
So Hux had called her to his quarters to make himself face the reality of his situation, he had to strip away any hope he had of someone on his side before it took root and ripped him apart. In the dark, during his short breaks between duty and when sleep would fail to come, he had even imagined it had been some slow burning Resistance plot to bring him down, make him vulnerable. Even Phasma, not a friend but at least an ally, had gone from him now.
So he had to know, had to kill the flame before it grew, that's why he had needed to see her. To find out that she had kissed him through pity, nothing more. But she'd told him to be careful? He winced as he stood in the turbolift ascending to his chambers, his head aching from exhaustion and adrenaline. He was a man who believed in battle simulations and logical analysis - neither of which were worth a damn now.
He'd seen the footage from the secret camera droids in the throne room. Snoke had had eyes everywhere, and he'd recorded his own murder. Hux had watched it all and understood Ren's anger at the Resistance girl and Ren's rage at being rejected that would now rip everyone and everything around him apart. He'd offered himself to her, offered her everything and she'd turned him down. If Hux hadn't despised him so much, he may have even felt sorry for him, facing the same situation himself. But no, if, when, she turned him down, he'd survive, he always had. Wouldn't he?
Hux stood at his door and took a deep breath, wondering how a few days ago he had thought he had power, but now he realised he was more like a drowning man searching dark waters for the salvation of a rope.
CHAPTER 8
Lora heard the droid welcome Hux into his quarters and announce that she was present. She couldn't hear his response from the bedroom door , but she saw him wave away droid's attentions as offered to attend to him. From the way Hux moved it was obvious he was in pain as he tried and failed to remove his black great coat. She saw him collapse onto his sofa, head down as his hands ran through his hair.
What had seemed like her only logical course of action mere moments ago now seemed like complete and utter folly. But she couldn't hide in here forever, even though she was dangerously close to losing her nerve. Taking a deep breath, she tightened the belt of his black dressing gown that she had wrapped herself in after her shower and walked out of the bedroom.
Her father had gone down in flames, it may very well become a family tradition, she thought, her feet silent on the black shiny floor. She stood in front of him, waiting for him to notice her presence.
"Can I help? Sir?" The sir was habit, but felt strange under the circumstances given that she was wearing his dressing gown.
"My name's Armitage" his voice hoarse as he lifted his head and stared deep into her eyes. He stood, slowly, holding himself a little bent as she wordlessly helped to slide the heavy great coat off his shoulders and arms. If he was at all surprised by her attire and wet hair, he didn't say it, although she thought with a smile, small talk had never been his strong point.
Turning to throw the coat on the ice blue sofa beside them Lora had to will herself to turn back to him and then before she had the chance to change her mind she stood on her tiptoes and touched her lips against his. This time, though, she didn't run away and this time he didn't let her, his hands moving to cradle her head as he responded at first tentatively and then with hunger and need.
His response unleashed Lora's desire and she pushed him back onto the sofa, climbing onto his lap with her legs wrapped around him as their kisses became deeper and more urgent. Hux groaned as he pushed the gown off her shoulders to find her naked underneath. She pulled away, earning a worried look from Armitage,
"I'm not hurting you am I?" she asked, her voice concerned.
He didn't reply, pulling her back close to him. Lora nestled her core against him whimpering as she felt his hands on her. The rough fabric of his trousers felt delicious against her naked body, her excitement building as she imagined what lay beneath.
This felt like madness or a dream. She'd wanted this for so long she wanted to tease herself with the feel and taste of him, in case this was the only chance she got. Scattering kisses over his stubbled cheekbones, neck and then back to his full lips that opened with a groan as her tongue met his.
The black uniform had only hinted at the strength of his tall, lean body pressed against her. One hand on her back holding her close to him, as Hux slide the other one down her neck onto her breast, palming her nipple as she purred into the kiss.
Lora could feel a hot hardness against her core, only intensifying her own growing heat. She had wanted to draw this out, tease him, but her own need was driving need on. Lora's hand slide down between them and fumbled to release him from his trousers. A groan of pleasure escaped his lips as she softly stroked the long hard length of him, her only thought to have him inside her.
"Are you sure you want this?" Hux stroked her cheek, his face full of desire, yes, but also love.
"Stop talking" her words were a whisper and then a moan as she impaled herself on him, releasing a deep groan from Hux in return. Lora sat motionless for as long as she could bear it, allowed herself the joy of feeling gloriously filled by him. Her arms were wrapped over his shoulders, her face nestled into his neck. She could feel the hammer of his heartbeat against her cheek.
Lora wanted to savour this, wishing it would never end, that there was no tomorrow, nothing but this. But her need to sate her desires was too strong to ignore; She couldn't resist lifting herself up and driving back onto him, slowly, again and again until they drove each other to the pinnacle and beyond.
Spent and panting she lay her head against his chest, as she waited for the waves of pleasure to abate as their breathing slowly calmed.
As conscious thought returned Lora felt a wave of panic and even shame and she tensed in his arms. What had she done?
"Lora, look at me, what is it?" Hux tried to lift her head to make her look at him, wincing from the pain in his shoulder where Ren had thrown him.
"Please Lora"
Finally, she looked at him, her eyes glazed with tears.
"Did I hurt you?" He'd never forgive himself if he had, he realised. She was beautiful, her skin flushed pink from their love making, hair all curls. He'd never believed that this was possible, but now he had her, he was never letting go, whatever it took.
"I don't know if I can keep you safe, keep any of you safe, but if you want me, I'm yours" he whispered into her hair as he pulled her close. He was afraid of the future, but now he had something to fight for.
It was all she needed to hear, it was everything.
