SOOOOO sorry I haven't written in FOREVER! But, while my school was raising money for Japan, and because we didn't meet the quota for the money raised, they played the Friday song by Rebecca Black on the loudspeaker in between periods. They played it so much that it driled an idea into my head that I can't seem to get out! So, combine that with my new and AWEEESSOOOMMMEEE Dynasty Warriors 7 game, and BEHOLD! A plot bunny was born! A very, very, VERY bothersome one DX
So, I present to you, this purely crackity crack crack fic. I hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dynasty Warriors 7, nor do I own that stupid Friday song. So don't sue, mmkay kiddies? 8D
Again, PUREEEE CRACK and AU. Just reminding.
It was before the Battle of Chibi. Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang had just come up with a brilliant strategy to use against Wei. A fire attack on their ships. Zhuge Liang would provide the southeastern winds. It would destroy Cao Cao's large navy and deal a crushing blow to Wei.
"So, the fire attack is agreed," Zhou Yu nodded. He seemed calm on the outside, but on the inside: FIRE, FIRE, YEEEEAAHHH!
Mm-hm, Lu Xun wasn't the only one.
But suddenly, Zhuge Liang perked up. "Wait," he said, "I have a better idea."
Better than FIRE? Zhou Yu looked confused. "What would that be?"
The Shu strategist smirked. "Here is what we are going to do…."
AT THE SHIPS
Cao Cao stood confidently on his ship, waiting for Shu and Wu to try and attack, and utterly fail. It was taking a bit longer than he expected, but he was a patient man, and all possibilities of an ambush had been taken care of. The Allied Forces wouldn't move a muscles without him knowing.
"AHHHH!"
The cries of his troops and ships being broken off from the fleet and sailing away carried to Cao Cao's ears. He blinked, and looked around wildly. Indeed, there were his troops on their ships, as well as officers, getting the heck outta dodge. This confused the Wei ruler. Why the heck were they retreating?
His eyes widened and all color drained from his face as he found out why.
Huang Gai came onto the ship, holding a stereo above his head a full blast. The Wei army crumbled before him, screaming and covering their ears. And on the stereo, echoing through the night, was:
IT'S FRIDAY, FRIDAY
GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY
EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND, WEEKEND
FRIDAY, FRIDAY
GETTIN' DOWN ON FRIDAY
EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND
PARTYIN' PARTYIN' (YEAH!)
PARTYIN' PARTYIN' (YEAH!)
FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN
LOOKIN' FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND!
Cao Cao's mouth dropped. They couldn't take this. He knew when he was beaten.
Huang Gai saw that the ship was starting to sail, so he jumped into the water after tossing the stereo to a troop on a smaller ship, which he climbed onto. Until the Wei army was out of sight, the song kept on playing, before every single stereo was smashed to pieces.
Zhou Yu took out his ear plugs. "Zhuge Liang."
Zhuge Liang did the same. "Yes?"
"That…was brilliant."
THE END
Well, in the end, the song playing on the loudspeakers at our school got us to donate the money needed for Japan! So I figured, if a bunch of stubborn sons of bitches are forced to do something like that, then why can't the Wei army? XD
AGAIN, for all you flamers and stuff, this was CRACK. Pure humor. I know that technology didn't exist back then, and I know that Wei probably wouldn't retreat just at that. But after playing one of Sima Zhao's Legendary Levels on Dynasty Warriors 7….well, I just couldn't help myself! XD the battle was so silly!
So, review please? Th3y mk3z m3h hppy! 8D