(A/n: Ms. Rain here with a Staig fic and with a changed title cuz I didn't like it lol I rarely read any humor ones so i thought I'd give it a shot, please enjoy and South Park doesn't belong to me)

Chapter 1: Crushing on Craig

"Oh my God Stan, will you stop staring at him? You look freakin' creepy right now dude," said an irritated Kyle to his super best friend Stan.

Kenny just rolled his eyes, and continued eating Stan's lunch while he wasn't looking and Cartman kept calling him a fag and what not while stuffing his face.

Stan ignored both Kyle and Cartman as he proceeded to stare across the cafeteria at a certain black haired teen with a loving gaze. The person he was staring at was Craig Tucker, the boy who's dubbed the tallest, handsomest along side himself, Kyle and Kenny, and the dullest in the school.

Yes Stanley Marsh, star player of the football team and could get any girl he wanted, had a crush on the tallest, handsomest, and dullest person in school.

He didn't give two shits that he was crushing over a guy and a guy he might not have at that, but he will try. He started falling for the taller teen just two weeks ago during Spring Break.

*2 weeks ago*

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman were out in Denver during the break, and just so happened to see Craig and his gang there on their second day there. They were at the zoo, Kenny wanting to go just so they could make fun of each other by comparing themselves to animals. They thought it would be a fun idea much to Cartman's dismay knowing he would be the main target.

Kenny pointed at a silverback Western Lowland Gorilla eating a banana, but stopped when he saw the blonde pointing at him. "Look look," he said to Stan and Kyle. "That one definitely looks like fatass or more like they could be brothers." He laughed, but Kyle and Stan chuckled. Cartman, not finding a decent animal to compare Kenny to, called him a stupid poor piece of shit and walked away flipping all three of them off.

Kyle stopped chuckling, and turned to the gorilla seeing that he was slowly crawling towards them with something in his hand. "Umm Kenny I think you made 'em mad," he said jabbing a thumb at the animal. Stan looked past Kenny at the the gorilla that had his arm raised ready to throw something.

Kenny waved Kyle off. "Hey I would be too if I was related to fatass," the blonde said with a shrug. "But it's not like it can do anything. We're up here, and it's down there so what can it do to-"

"BOINK"

He's cut off by something hitting him upside the head.

Kenny turned around glaring. "Alright which one of you asshole's threw somethin'?" His answer was another object being thrown at his head making Stan, Kyle, and everyone else who's watching laugh.

Kenny turned to glare at the culprit. "Oi you stinkin' gorilla, think throwin' shit at me is funny-"

"SPLAT"

He's cut off again by shit literally being thrown at him in the face. Stan and Kyle go into a fit of laughter while everyone else either eww'd or walked away shaking their heads. Kenny ran around trying to find something to clean the shit off of his face.

"Tch, dumbass. He totally deserved it," a monotone voice commented.

Stan and Kyle stopped laughing to see a bored looking Craig standing behind them along with Tweek, Clyde, and Token accompanying him.

"True, but ya gotta admit it was pretty funny," Clyde said snickering.

Token and Tweek nodded their head in agreement while Craig just grunted.

"You guys here in Denver for how long?" Stan asked. "We're staying the whole week."

"Same or Clyde wouldn't shut up otherwise," Craig replied jabbing a thumb at the brunette.

Clyde playfully flipped him off, and Craig returned it. For some odd reason that made Stan feel happy, but of course he didn't let it show so he just nodded his head.

Cartman came back a few minutes later after the commotion with two cones of chocolate ice cream and pouted. "Goddamn it, I always miss the good shit," he whined. Stan and Kyle snickered at that.

After their time at the zoo, Kenny never showed back up leaving the group to think that he died (literally) of embarrassment, and from there they went back to their hotel. They spent the rest of the afternoon in the hotel doing nothing but playing around by telling jokes, mainly on Cartman, and watching movies.

Kenny didn't show back up until Thursday.

On a Friday afternoon, Stan was out alone walking around the park. Kyle went to the art museum, Cartman being the fatass he was, went out to eat at whatever restaurant that appealed to him, and Kenny stayed at the hotel still moping. He went on a non-stop rant yesterday when he returned about how animals these days needed to be taught a lesson.

Stan being an animal lover wanted to voice his opinion, but Kenny was having none of it, and continued to rant. Cartman told him to shut his poor trap which resulted in them arguing, the blonde telling him to keep his brother under control and such. Stan chuckled at the memory, but was startled when he heard a voice beside him.

"Whatcha laughin' at Marsh?"

Stan blushed in embarrassment, and scratched the back of his head. "Er j-just what happened on Tuesday," he answered sheepishly.

"Yeah that was pretty funny," the amber eyed teen admitted. "The idiot deserved it for fuckin' with a gorilla."

"Yeah and he didn't show back up until yesterday. He started raging about what happened that day until Cartman told him to shut up, and then they argued from there. It was hilarious," Stan said, almost snickering at the thought.

Craig shook his head and stopped walking. "I swear Marsh, your group of friends can be really retarded at times. I mean mine too, but not everyday or constantly at least," he said.

Stan stopped too and just shrugged with a small smile. Couldn't really disagree with that statement. He spotted a bench nearby, "Wanna sit down on the bench and just talk or whatever?" He asked.

Craig shrugged also, but walked over to the bench with Stan following. Time felt like it slowed down when Stan glanced at the handsome noriette. His black hair that almost reached his broad shoulders, his beautiful amber eyes, his slightly pale skin, and kissable lips.

Wait what?

Craig suddenly got the feeling that someone was watching him, and he turned to Stan. He had this dreamy look on his face with red cheeks, making him look drunk if anything.

"Marsh you okay?' Craig asked waving a hand in the blushing noriette's face. "You're red dude."

Stan turned even redder, and smacked his cheeks willing the blush to go away. Craig looked at him funny, but said nothing else. Soon after, they reached the bench and sat on it. "Sometimes you're too cute, ya know that," Craig commented.

Stan felt like he could explode into a blushing mess after hearing that in both embarrassment and anger. Him? Cute? No way. Craig maybe wait no is hot, but he will damned to be called cute by him.

"I-I'm not c-cute asshole," he stuttered. "If you wanna compliment me then call me hot or somethin', not cute or adorable or any other girly shit."

"Yeah whatever you say. I'll only call you that if you were my boyfriend or somethin'," Craig said nonchalantly.

Stan stared at him still blushing while the tall noriette took out a pack of cigarettes like he didn't just say something that embarrassing. He offered Stan one, but quickly pulled back putting the pack back into his pants pocket. "Shit sorry, forgot you got asthma."

Stan waved him off, momentarily forgetting the stoic teen's earlier statement. "It's okay, I'm actually surprised you remembered. Hell, Kyle sometimes forget that I have it."

"Yeah. I can't really forget since I was there when you had your first asthma attack back in middle school," Craig admitted while sitting back.

Stan's eyes widened. "Wait you saw me have my first attack?"

"I saw you in front of the school, and on the ground gasping for air. You passed out before I could get to you. Thought you were a goner man, scared the shit outta me," Craig admitted again with a shake of his head.

Stan frowned remembering as clear as day what happened. He had forgotten his inhaler one morning rushing to get to school because he had woken up late. He couldn't drive at the time, he had unluckily missed the bus, and his parents were already at work. Leaving him to run to school. Upon arriving at the school after three minutes of running, he dropped to his knees gasping for air only a few feet away from the school doors. He knew immediately that he was having an asthma attack, but when he reached into his pants pocket he didn't have his inhaler.

He started panicking, making himself light-headed. Before he let darkness overtake him, he heard someone's running footsteps coming towards him.

Craig's sigh snapped Stan back to reality. "Alright well I'm headin' back to the hotel," the taller noriette declared as he stood. "Gonna take a nap so I'll see ya around Marsh." He walked away without waiting for a response from Stan, and Stan sat there looking at his retreating figure.

Well that was rude.

They had a heart to heart moment just seconds ago or that is what it felt like to Stan at least, and he just decides to up and leave. "Well he is a well-known asshole so I guess that was to be expected," Stan thought as he shook his head with a small smile. He sat there for a few more minutes thinking back on what Craig had said some minutes ago. The thought of him being Craig's boyfriend made him want to giggle like a love sick schoolgirl, but he restrained himself from doing so or anything that will embarrass himself.

People were in the park, and Stan was not going to embarrass himself by giggling like a maniac in public.

So instead he threw up...

*End of flashback*

Stan was brought back to the present by the sound of the lunch bell. Craig got up with his gang, and saw Stan staring at him. He flipped him off, and Stan smiled while returning it; failing to see Kyle behind him rolling his eyes.

The redhead pinched Stan's shoulder causing him to hiss in pain, and the noriette turned around glaring at Kyle while rubbing his shoulder. "The hell ya do that for?" He asked as he got up from the lunch table. "I heard the bell and I was gonna get up, you didn't have to pinch me."

"Oh so you actually heard the bell while you were eye raping Craig?" Kyle questioned. The four walked out of the cafeteria while Kenny snickered and Stan blushed.

"I wasn't eye raping him, I was-"

"Checkin' him out," Kenny finished for him, raising his eyebrows up and down with a smirk.

Stan just rolled his eyes, but didn't deny what he said. "God, you guys are total fags. I'd rather be alone than hang out with you ball suckers," Cartman complained, his arms crossed.

"Oh really now? Says the person who sucked Butters' balls back in elementary," Kyle retorted back while crossing his arms also.

Cartman glared at the redhead. "You dumbass Jew, he was gonna suck my balls. I was never gonna suck his," he admitted unknowingly.

Stan and Kenny stop walking to give him a look. "So doesn't that make you a fag also?" Kyle asked smirking.

Cartman blushed then flipped him off. "S-screw you guys I'm goin home!" He walked away.

Kyle smiled triumphantly, and Kenny patted his back. "Dude awesome comeback, but I'm with fatass on leaving the school. You guys in?" Kenny asked them.

They shrugged. "I heard we have a sub in fourth block so I'm in," Kyle said.

"I'm in too since I don't have football practice later. So what'd you have in mind Ken?" Stan asked.

Kenny shrugged also placing his hands behind his head as they walked out the school's front doors. The administrators didn't really pay attention nor care if students left through the front anymore. "I don't know, I just wanted to get out of school."

Stan thought for a second. "How 'bout we just go to my house, and play some video games?" He suggested.

Kenny and Kyle nodded in agreement at the idea, and they walked to Stan's house. But it's only until they were a block away from school that they remembered that the noriette had a car now, and could've driven to his house.

They face palmed then headed back to the school's parking lot.

(A/n: Lol everyone has their slow moments, had fun typing this. Plus I hope I got the part where Butter's was going to suck Cartman's balls right, I forgot what happened lol I hope you enjoyed and the next chapter will be up soon, please fav and review)