Author's Note: So, I've been wanting to write something like this for quite a while now. I was aiming for something that would make you cry, but I'm pretty sure this won't. I guess it will depend on what you've been through and how you relate to what Nathan and Lucas are feeling. It's sorta a Naley/Lathan/Laley thing but it's not a love triangle. Everything that happened in OTH happened. This is taking place in 2009.
Big thank you to Miranda for listening to me babble about this fic! And Sneha too :D You both are amazing and help me through alot of troubles I have with writing.
I hope you guys like this. Please review to let me know what you think :)
xx
Brittany
Won't Go Home Without You
The light rain drizzled down on the open field of grass, the clouds casting unsettling shadows on the ground. It was expected that the day of a funeral wouldn't be sunny and warm, but today was unlike any other. It was as if the clouds had swallowed up every ray of sunshine, restraining it for the day.
A man stared up at the dark gray sky, a young boy resting against his chest. The day that had changed his life forever had already passed, but today would finalize it. It would all be confirmed; his new reality set in stone. Back in high school he had this crazy assumption that life would always stay the same. He'd play basketball day in and day out, go to Duke for college and join the NBA. That had been the plan when he met her, the love of his life, his always and forever.
His father had set it in his head that the only way he would go places in life was through basketball, but she opened up a whole new world to him. She showed him that although basketball could take him places it was his heart that would truly get him there.
Basketball had been Nathan Scott's connection to everything. It brought him to Whitey, to Lucas and most importantly to his wife, Haley James-Scott. The one person he was sure he would never survive without and yet there he was, living and breathing without her there next to him.
"Nathan, I'm going to the store!" Haley called out to him from her spot at the front door, shuffling through her purse in search of her keys.
"Do you have to?" he whined, looking out the window where the rain poured down. "Maybe you should wait until the rain lightens up a little bit."
"I'll be fine," she reassured him as he leaned down, his forehead touching her's gently. "I love you," she whispered softly, her voice barely heard over the powerful sound of the rain.
"I love you, too." He smiled against her lips as she planted a feather light kiss on his lips before going out into the storm. He turned back to check on James when he noticed her umbrella sitting on the table.
He grabbed and ran out the door, the cold rain piercing his skin like shards of glass as he called out to her. "Haley!"
She turned around, a smile already on her lips at just the sound of his voice. "Yes?" she asked playfully.
They were both drenched from the rain as Nathan handed her the umbrella, pulling her closer to him as she grabbed onto it.
"God, I love you," he claimed in a husky whisper as his hand slid up her jaw, tangling itself in her hair as he forcefully kissed. She wrapped her arms around his neck, sucking on his bottom lip as the rain fell.
She breathlessly pulled away, kissing him one last time as she jogged towards the car. With one last look she opened the car door and got in, as she headed off to the store.
A small smile appeared on Nathan's lips. Rain kisses, his favorite kind. As he headed back inside, he was completely unaware that it would be the last kiss he would share with his wife.
A gust of wind whipped through his hair as the doors to the church opened to reveal his grief stricken brother, silent tears streaming down his cheeks, his blue eyes taking on a glassy appearance. Lucas quietly sat beside his brother, watching the small boy in his lap wiggle out of Nathan's arms and into his own.
Haley's son, James Lucas Scott, raised his hand to wipe away the tears on his uncle's face. Lucas stared down at him, the vibrant face of his best friend reflecting back at him. He had inherited her beauty and strong instincts, but his piercing blue eyes and dark hair belonged to his father.
Lucas smiled down at him, brushing away an eyelash from his porcelain cheek. He envied the small child sitting in his lap not having to share the pain of the day like the rest of them. He never got to know Haley in the ways that he had, but he wouldn't give back his time with her for anything.
Back when it was just the two of them they'd play miniature golf on the rooftop of his mother's café for hours. It wouldn't be until dark that they'd turn in to watch movies until midnight and eat candy until their stomachs ached. It was those days that he missed most; the days he got see her genuine smile, look at her sparkling eyes and hear her beautiful laugh.
"Haley, you're hogging all the popcorn!" Lucas complained, his arms folding across his chest.
"I hog the popcorn everytime we do this. Why would now be any different?" she asked with a laugh as she held the bowl in front of him.
"True!" he returned with a wink. "You know, we haven't done this since before James was born, Hales."
"I know," she smiled, letting her head rest on shoulder. "I've missed you, Lucas."
"I've missed you, too, buddy," he assured her, his arm wrapping around her shoulder and squeezing her tightly. "Are you staying for a bit longer or are you going to go home to your husband?"
"I need to go check on them both actually," she laughed heartily, popping a quick kiss on her friend's cheek. "And I need to go to the store."
"Well, how about you, Nathan, and James come over tomorrow and we can all bake with mom like old times?" he suggested hopefully, a glint of giddiness reflecting in his eyes.
"Sure," she grinned, almost unable to control the same excited feeling she got about spending time with her family, her real family.
"Okay, be careful driving home and I love you," he smiled, kissing her on top of her head as she hugged him, her face nestling into his chest.
"Bye Luke," she smiled back as she pulled open the door and ran towards her car.
Lucas watched her drive off with a smile on his face, not knowing it was the last time he'd see his best friend's smiling face.
He looked over at Nathan's stone cold face as the bell on top of the church rang signaling that it was time to head inside and start the funeral. Nathan made no move to go inside and Lucas immediately understood his actions. When they walked into that church looks of sympathy and grief would be sent their way. The head tilts and comforting pats on the shoulder were almost more than either could bare.
Lucas slowly brought himself into a standing position with James still nestled in his arms securely. "Come on, Nate," he finally stated softly, knowing there was no way he could muster up a harsh tone, not today. Lucas held out his hand for his brother knowing that it was a silent comfort he needed more than anything.
Nathan stared at his brother's outstretched arm, gripping onto his hand as he pulled himself up next. He looked off in the distance, hundreds of tombstones resting on the land for as far as he could see. He breathed out a long sigh as he patted the chest pocket of his jacket to confirm the cards for the eulogy were still there.
He looked over at Lucas, the expression on his brother's face mirroring his own as they walked into the church, taking a seat in the pews next to Karen. The minister stood up in front of the hundreds of people there to grieve for the girl that had touched their hearts in so many ways, telling them about her love for life.
When it came time for Nathan to speak his hands were trembling and he felt as if the air had been sucked out of the room. Lucas laid a hand on his shoulder, leaning over just enough to whisper in his ear, "Need me up there with you?"
"I'll be fine," he muttered back, more to convince himself than anyone else. He slowly made his way up to the podium never taking the prepared notes from his pocket. He knew he didn't need them. He knew his wife better than he knew himself and he didn't need cards to help him talk about the woman that had changed his life forever.
He cleared his throat, his hands resting on each side of the small podium in front of him as he spoke.
"When I woke up this morning, I rolled over in bed to wrap my arms around the woman that I call my wife, but all I found was an empty space and a pillow that smelled faintly of her perfume… I've been dreading to walk into this church and talk about her in front of all of you from the second I found out she was gone. I could hardly get out of bed without crying and I was certain this service would be my breaking point." His voice cracked with emotion causing tears to slide down the cheeks of many in the church.
"Haley James-Scott was a beautiful person, inside and out. She had this glow about her that could just draw you in without a second's thought. I remember just staring at her for hours when she was cleaning the apartment. She was usually in sweats and one of my t-shirts with her hair pulled up into a messy bun. She'd always look at me like I was insane and smack me lightly on the shoulder, telling me to stop staring and start helping."
Nathan stared out into the sea of faces, each of them watching his heart break little by little as he spoke. How could he stand here and keep it together when his wife was gone? She was gone and she was never coming back, and that was something he just wasn't ready to come to terms with.
"She would have hated this. She didn't like anything to be big or over the top like this service. She always told me at our second wedding that she didn't need it, that she loved that she got to look back on our first wedding and have a memory that was just ours. But I wanted her to have the best that I could give her and after that little James came along,, lighting up our lives in a way that didn't seem possible." He smiled over at his son who was squirming inch by inch away from Lucas. Before he could grab him back James took off towards Nathan, throwing his body against his father's right leg. Nathan picked him up, a small smile on his face as he recognized the determined look on his son's face, the same one that Haley had always gotten when she had tutored him at the Market Street Docks in high school.
"She changed me, us. You're all here today because she changed you, because she helped you better yourself. That was just the kind of person she was. She tutored kids that were falling behind in school, worked in Karen's café because she knew Karen could use the extra help, put her life on hold for me when I felt like everything was becoming to much and gave me the two greatest gifts I could have ever asked for - her eternal love and our son."
James buried his face further into his father's neck as he stared wide-eyed at a portrait of his mother, her honey brown eyes staring back at him.
"She's the love of my life and she always will be. There will never be anybody else, even though I know she'd want me to move on. But I could never do that, because she spoiled me with her love and forgiveness even when I didn't deserve it. There won't be a day that goes by when I don't think about her or wish that she was still here with me and James so that she could watch him grow up into the man she always wanted him to be. But he'll get to know her… I'll make sure that he knows who his mom is, that's one thing that I can promise. She'll never be forgotten and she will always been on my mind and imbedded in my heart."
A lone tear fell down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away, trying to hide the unbearable amount of grief that weighed on him as he walked down the few steps, setting James down in Karen's lap as he continued down the long isle of the church. He pushed open the back doors, the wind whipping at his face as he ran towards the spot she would be buried in later that afternoon.
Lucas began to stand up, but Karen grabbed his hand and shook her head. "He just needs time," she whispered in a hushed tone and urged him towards the front of the crowd to read the poem he had discovered last night, the one that represented his best friend from the moment he laid eyes on it.
He looked out into the bewildered audience ahead of him, knowing that they were all terribly worried about Nathan. They reluctantly turned their attention to Lucas, not sure how much more they could sit through. Just like Nathan most of them had shed their share of tears today.
"I came across this poem last night and it expressed exactly how I'm feeling about the death of my best friend…"
Visions engross my mind;
The cries of the family you've left behind
In our hearts you still belong
Life's a ticking clock
This world deployed a kind young woman
Into the arms of devastation,
So now I pray, God lights the way
To a peaceful congregation
Where with the angels you will fly
By the wings that were always there
Your warmth will light up our darkened sky
You were just a girl; life's so unfair
Why does the sun rise,
only to set again too soon?
Why do the stars twinkle,
only to fade away with the moon?
"I'll miss Haley with my whole heart. She's been my whole world from day one and that's never going to change. All my accomplishments, every breath I take, it's all for her." He looked towards the enlarged picture of the girl that changed him in so many ways, touched his hand to her face and whispered his parting words, "I love you, Haley James-Scott and no one will ever change that. I could never give away my best friend," he repeated the words from the day of her wedding, remembering the fond moments they'd shared before he walked her down the isle.
When he turned back, the faces of the mourners looking back at him seemed unreal. He never pictured himself at the age of 20 at his best friend's funeral, telling her how much he loved her and that she'd always be with him. He knew he'd be moving in with Nathan at some point this year to help take care of James, because he knew in his heart that Nathan would never find anyone else. He had found his soulmate at the tender age of 16 and no one would ever be able replace her. And truthfully, he didn't want anyone to try.
As Lucas stepped down and started out the church doors Michelle Featherstone's "God Bless The Child" played softly over the speakers causing most of the church to weep mournfully for Haley, the girl they loved more than life itself.
Lucas searched across the stretch of grass only to find his brother sitting on the bench they'd had installed just next to her tombstone. He walked silently towards his brother's grieving form, his body sunken low in the chair.
"Nathan," Lucas whispered comfortingly the moment he saw the trails of tears running down his brother's face. Lucas had never seen him look more vulnerable or alone in his life and he wasn't sure that Nathan would be able to recover from the loss and emptiness he was feeling today.
"She's gone, Luke," he choked out in a whisper, turning his head just enough for Lucas to see how his face had twisted in pain. "She's really gone."
"I know," he whispered back finally pulling his brother into his arms, letting him cry until dark fell upon them.
The brothers stay settled on the bench, staring at the marble tombstone that read:
Haley James-Scott
1989 - 2009
Beloved Wife, Mother and Best Friend.
You will forever rest in our hearts.