House: Ravenclaw | Year: 1 | Category: Standard | Prompt: [Speech] "How come we have to do it this way?" | Word Count: 1925
"Welcome back to Taskmaster! Let's get cracking with part four!" Albus announced, perched atop his golden throne. "Severus, can we have a score update, please?"
"As you like," he answered, completely deadpan. Somehow, he looked incredibly foolish sitting upon his tiny golden chair, dwarfed by Albus' magnificent setup. "Tied for joint last place with eight points, we have the dunce duo, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley! Happily or not, ahead of her brother, but only by two points, we have Ginny Weasley! And currently in first place, we have the logical lioness, Miss Hermione Granger!"
"And do we have another task for these lovely folks?" Albus asked, sounding like some sort of evil puppet master ready to make his minions dance.
"We certainly do," Severus sneered, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Let's take a look."
The Taskmaster theme song played, snippets of Albus and Severus dancing by on the screen behind them. A moment later, it ended, and the camera cut to the Taskmaster house and the little lab within. A pale, blond-haired man sat at the table, sour expression on his face, and an envelope rested atop the cool metal surface, waiting to be opened.
Ginny marched into the room, nearly tearing down the plastic curtains around the lab, snatching up the envelope and hopping up onto the table.
"Make the Slytherin person blush," she read aloud, swinging her feet slightly. "You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
She sat and considered for a moment, her head cocked to the side as she thought, but it wasn't long before Ginny had formed a plan of attack.
"Right, could you please flip yourself upside down on the chair?" she asked the stranger, motioning with her hands to demonstrate what she wanted. "Legs up over the back and head hanging down."
Ginny swung her feet idly, watching the time tick by on the clock. From within her jacket, she pulled out a little bag filled with nuts, and began snacking on them happily.
Severus blew the whistle when five minutes had passed, and the man in the chair righted himself, an immense sense of relief crossing his scarlet visage.
Ginny flashed Severus a thumbs up, saluting to the stranger before promptly exiting the lab, grinning with success.
Hermione tentatively pushed aside the plastic sheets, peering through. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the blond man and the envelope, but she ignored him for the moment and snatched up the envelope, her eyes scanning back and forth rapidly.
"Out loud, please," Severus said from somewhere off camera.
"Make the Slytherin person blush," she said, rolling her eyes. "You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
She thought quietly for a few seconds, pulling her mass of curls back into a loose bun. Chewing on her lip, she considered her instructions, and the various approaches she could take.
"Can I touch him?" she asked Severus, raising an eyebrow.
"Um, yes, I think so," he answered, watching to see what Hermione would do.
"Right," she said, rolling up her sleeves.
With a resounding slap, she struck the man across his creamy cheek, his head jolting to one side, and shock briefly registered in his grey eyes. Hermione stepped back a bit to examine her handiwork, before leaning in again and smacking across his opposite cheek. His eyes closed a little bit, and anyone watching very closely might have seen the tiniest of winces escape him. Once more, Hermione backed away, examining his cheeks and smiling in satisfaction at the pink tinge colouring his pale skin.
"You still have two minutes and twenty nine seconds left," Severus informed her, his eyebrows raised at Hermione's chosen method.
"Excellent," Hermione whispered to herself, rubbing her hands together quickly. It seemed cruel to slap the poor man again, and it had gotten his colour up rather a lot, so she reckoned she could change tactics a bit. Carefully, she leaned over his lap, her breath wafting warm over his face, and she reached up to pinch his cheeks. She moved across the skin, grabbing and pinching over and over again, maintaining eye contact with the man as she did. It was a bit strange, weirdly intimate, and Hermione found the colour rising in her own cheeks as she stood there, staring into this man's eyes.
"Okay, that's time," Severus said, blowing his whistle in the closest thing to glee the man could feel.
"Right, thanks then," she said, nodding both to Severus and the man before exiting the lab hurriedly.
Harry stepped through the plastic sheets, not bothering to hold them aside, the plastic slapping against his skin and rustling his hair into an even messier state. He looked confusedly at the man, pausing before picking up the envelope.
"Make the Slytherin person blush," Harry read aloud, staring at the man seated in front of him. "You have five minutes. Your time starts now."
"Merlin, alright then," Harry swore, and as usual, he just began to act without thinking, the blood positively racing through his body, and somehow none of it going to his brain. "Have you got a name?"
"Draco," the man said, in a stiff accent.
"Well, nice to meet you, Draco," Harry answered as he stripped his shirt off, ripping several buttons in the process. He tried to make it as seductive as possible, shimmying the sleeves down his arms and eventually tossing it to the other side of the room. He saw a slight pink in Draco's cheeks, which only encouraged him on his path. Harry turned around and stepped backward, so that he was standing just in front of Draco, and then he began swaying his hips so that his backside moved alluringly (or at least as alluringly as he could manage) in front of Draco's eyes. Harry was sure this was probably the least sexy thing in the world, but hopefully the combination of trying to be sexy and actually being awkward would be enough to win him the task.
He kept doing his little strip tease until Severus blew his whistle, and by the end of his, Harry could feel that his own face was red, and he hoped Draco's was as well. He turned to see how he'd done, and found Draco glowing, trying very hard not to laugh.
"Well, thanks man, it's been an absolute treat," Harry said, collecting his clothes from where he had discarded them.
Draco gave him a nod of recognition, and Harry ducked out of the room, pleased with how he had done on this task.
Ron pushed aside the plastic curtain, only giving the man in the chair a cursory glance as he proceeded straight for the envelope on the table.
"Make the Slytherin person blush. You must keep your hands behind your back at all times," Ron read, pausing to look over at the man. "How come we have to do it this way?"
"What do you mean?" Severus responded, his expression as blank as ever.
"I mean why've we got to do the whole hands thing?" Ron asked, always trying to push the boundaries of the task.
"That's what the rules say," Severus stated simply, offering absolutely no type of explanation at all.
"Fine, fine, but for the record, bugger the bloody rules," Ron said, as he turned his attention back to the task at hand, and clasping his hands behind his back.
"You need to read the last line," Severus interjected, almost sounding like he derived some glee from annoying Ron.
"Oh sod off," Ron swore, knowing what the line would say without even looking at the paper. "Your time starts now."
Ron reckoned that the best way to get under this guy's skin would be to invade his personal space. He looked like the stuck-up sort, so Ron was betting that he wouldn't be a fan of getting up close and personal with a stranger. But how to do it without his hands? An idea occurred to him, and he went for it. Ron leaned over, breathing hot air across the man's neck and he could see the small hairs on the back of his neck rise. He reached out with his tongue, caressing the shell of the man's ear, before sucking on his earlobe. Ron was running out of ideas, and he thought he had to do something at least a little bit different for the remainder of his time.
"You're quite an attractive man, aren't you?" Ron whispered, close enough to the man that his nose was brushing against him. The man tried to stifle a laugh, his shoulders shaking just a bit. "Really nice… lovely… lovely jawline, very nice and sharp."
Ron ran the back of his finger slowly over the man's jaw, staring into his grey eyes then entire time. Severus blew the whistle, the sound bouncing lightly as he laughed into it. Ron backed away from the stranger slamming his hand down on the table victoriously.
"Bam! Suck it!" he exclaimed, marching from the room without a backwards glance.
As they sat and watched back the footage, Ron began shaking his head, anger bubbling up and boiling within him.
"Are you shitting me?" he swore, as the others all struggled to contain their laughter. "I was the only one who had to do the bloody hands?"
Albus looked positively tickled at Ron's outrage, and even Severus couldn't keep the glee from brightening his eyes.
"I better get bonus points for that," Ron muttered, seething.
"Oooh, I dunno about that," Albus squeaked, considering the contestant in front of him. "What do you think, Sev?"
"Well, I mean, technically he only did what the task asked him to do, so I'm not sure that really qualifies for a bonus point," Severus answered, his face expressionless, but his tone of voice betrayed his elation. "But as always, Albus, the decision lies with you. How do you want to score it?"
"I think no bonus point," Albus ruled, nodding to himself, "but am I right in thinking that Mr. Weasley did in fact get our sanguine Slytherin to a lovely shade of red?"
"You are correct, he did get to a lovely shade of 'Sweet Heart'," Severus answered, pulling images up onto the screen. Below a picture of the Strangers face were five little images of nail varnish, with the middle bottle slightly enlarged. "Not quite as good as Potter's 'It's a Girl!', and definitely behind Miss Weasley's achievement of 'Passion'."
"Excellent, and Miss Granger?" Albus asked, looking up at the screen.
"Miss Granger's final colour was 'You're Blushing Again', but she really should have continued slapping Mr. Malfoy, as that was a very effective method, and she would have been at least even with Potter if she'd kept it up."
Hermione shook her head as her image popped up onto the screen, disappointed in herself. She really should have continued on that path, rather than moving to the pinching technique.
"Well then, I think we'll have Miss Weasley and Mr. Potter on first and second," Albus said, steepling his fingers as he thought carefully. "And then I'll give Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger joint third place. There, that's done."
Ron wanted to protest, but something about the look on Albus' face stopped him, and he sat back in his chair, folding his arms sulkily.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the final task, so can our contestants please proceed to the stage," Albus boomed.
The four contenders groaned in unison, dreading what horribly ridiculous task they'd be asked to perform now.