Disclaimer: I don't own Jenna or Gina, or any of the guys from Skins. I do love them though.
Many Yeasr Ago
The yellow front door opened. It was an odd house, a house that looked run down, uncared for but distinctly unique. Jenna had seen Naomi's clothes, had wondered what kind of person wore things so randomly placed together. The house said it all. It probably wasn't Naomi's fault, she probably had a mother who dressed just as badly. A faint memory of a house similar filled her mind. The yellow front door familiar in the way it squeaked open. Then her eyes met the woman's on the other side of the door. She had to be Naomi's mother; the same grey-blue eyes, the same bright blonde hair and a distinct smile that unsettled Jenna's nerves.
'Hello,' she gasped, too taken aback to speak the words that had already formed in her brain. That grin more familiar than she'd realised.
'Jennifer Ashford?' the woman muttered back, genuine shock in her voice.
'Gina Campbell?' Jenna asked in return, staring back at her with equal surprise.
They didn't really speak. Gina let Jenna inside and they walked through a very orientally decorated hallway. It reminded Jenna of the Vietnamese restaurant that Rob had taken her to on their last anniversary. A wooden elephant perched on a little table by the stairs. The house wasn't unfamiliar in it's stature, but the decoration was very different. She followed the other woman through a bead curtain, into a kitchen that seemed to be covered in environmental and animal rights posters; not something one would expect of a grown woman. She narrowed her eyes at the giant chalk board listing a number of names, with the title 'group shopping list'. What sort of house was this? She wondered.
'Don't mind the mess,' Gina called out as she filled the kettle. 'I've been trying to get a rota going, but no one seems bothered.'
Jenna hadn't even been asked if she wanted a drink, didn't suggest one either. The blonde seemed to take it as a given, pulling out two mugs and dropping in teabags from a box that didn't look like Jenna's usual Tetley tea.
'Okay,' Jenna whispered, perching on the edge of a chair and jumping when a cat leapt from the seat beside her.
'I hope you don't mind green tea, it's all we have. Don't drink coffee much either.'
Gina was still assuming, still making decisions for her. Jenna shifted uncomfortably on the seat. It was actually a very nice chair; perfect back support and a comfortable base. But she was sat in a near-strangers house, being forced to drink hippy tea in a kitchen that told her she was anything but environmentally friendly.
'What brings you here?' Gina asked, placing the tea in front of Jenna.
Jenna raised an eyebrow at the murky water, didn't find the drink at all appealing, but sipped on the steaming liquid anyway to avoid disappointing the woman. 'Thanks.'
'I didn't know you still came down here,' Gina smiled, a genuine smile. Jenna felt guilty. An overwhelming urge to say sorry. Thirty years of repressed memories flooding into her brain.
'Emily,' she managed to say, pushing through the thoughts she had long since forgotten.
'Emily?' Gina asked, looking her in the eye, staring at her until her own eyes narrowed. 'You're Emily's mum?'
Jenna nodded, felt her cheeks redden in a way they hadn't since she was fourteen years old.
'My gosh, what a small world this is.'
'Yes,' Jenna gasped, the irony not escaping her notice. The dread and worry she'd tried to push aside, now prevalent in her mind.
'And to think we once,' Gina laughed, her words flowing freely, no sign of regret or sorrow in her voice. 'We had a good time then, didn't we? Before, I mean.'
Jenna lowered her gaze, stared into the mug. Sipping carefully on the liquid that actually tasted quite nice. She wondered if it would be wrong to ask what it was, but the other woman was too busy taking her on a trip down memory lane. Jenna just listened, didn't look up as Gina's words relayed their first encounter.
It was the summer of Jenna's eighth birthday. Her grandparents had moved to Bristol to retire properly a few years before. It was the first time Jenna was allowed to go visit them, to go alone. Her parents put her on a train in Glasgow, informed the conductor that she was to change at Birmingham. It was all planned out. When she arrived, her grandparents picked her up from the station and drove her past a street full of unusual looking houses. They reminded her of American films; houses that appeared to be made of wood, with garages and porches. She was in awe.
The first day, her grandfather was working on his garden, told her to help him pull up the weeds. She loved her pop, he was her favourite person in the world, so she was naturally thrilled at the idea.
'What you doing that for?' a small voice asked from across the road.
Jenna had stood up and stared across at the girl, who's hands were wrapped tightly around the handlebars of a bike. Jenna had never had a bike, wasn't allowed because they lived in a small house on a main road. There was nowhere to keep one and nowhere to ride it either. The girl's bike was shiny and red, it made Jenna grin from ear to ear. The girl's long, blonde hair flowed about in the wind, another thing Jenna was jealous about. The week before she left, her mother had cut hers off. Told her she had to have it just short of her shoulders because it was meant to be a hot summer and long hair would only get tangled up as she played outside more.
'To make it look nice,' her pop replied, standing up beside her with his cutters in hand. 'We're going to plant some flowers next.'
'Flowers are great,' the girl grinned, her perfectly straight teeth making Jenna even more in awe. Her fingers moved to her mouth, subconsciously travelling across her slightly awkwardly angled teeth.
'Do you want to help?' her pop asked, much to Jenna's glee. She grinned back at the girl who looked excited at the idea of planting flowers. 'You're Maggie Campbell's daughter, aren't you? What's your name?'
Jenna watched her grandfather exchange conversation with the girl, found herself mesmerised by her confidence and grace. She knew then that she wanted to be her friend.
'Gina.'
'Gina,' Jenna muttered, narrowing her eyes at the woman; her teeth still perfectly straight, her grin still gleaming with excitement. Her hair was much shorter now, quite the opposite to Jenna's long style. Yet she found herself envious of how well the blonde could carry off her shorter locks. Jenna had never looked good with very short hair, had tried it twice in her life and each time she'd regretted it.
'Yes?'
'What is this tea? It's really nice.'
*
Jenna didn't move from her seat, just sipped on the tea until the mug was empty. She'd barely been able to get a word in, even when there was a silence, she couldn't find the words to speak. What was she even doing there? She wondered to herself, trying to remember the reason for her visit. Emily, she was there to talk about Emily.
'I can't believe it's been thirty years,' Gina gasped, taking their mugs and dropping them into the sink. 'How have you been? You must be married, got anymore children other than Emily and the other one? Her twin.'
'Katie,' Jenna whispered, her regrets feeling all too strong as Gina talked like nothing had ever happened. She had always felt guilty, felt bad for ruining what could have been. Gina didn't deserve that then and now, she didn't even seem to care. 'I have a son, James, he's twelve.'
'That's brilliant,' Gina grinned, opening a packet of biscuits and offering one to Jenna. She took it. Wasn't one for snacking on unhealthy food, but bit into it anyway. It tasted amazing. It wasn't a proper packet of biscuits, in fact the paper wrapping looked familiar.
'These taste great Mrs Campbell,' Jenna replied, thanking Gina's mother.
'Home made is always best, they're my grandmother's recipe, best biscuits in all of Bristol, bar none.'
'I help make them when I go to Grammy's,' Gina grinned that amazing grin, her hands resting on her hips with pride.
The summer had been a surprise for Jenna, in more ways than one. She'd expected to spend the whole time with her grandfather; working on his garden, going to the park, taking day trips to museums and the aquarium. By the end of the first week, she'd spent little time at their home, only went back for meals and even then it was begrudgingly. Gina had become her friend, her best friend. She sometimes apologised to her grandparents, told them that she liked being there with them, but they didn't mind. Always said that it was great to see her so happy, making friends and playing out in the street. She'd never played out in the street before, not back home.
'I go home in four days,' Jenna announced one night.
Gina's house had a huge tree in the garden, so big that the branches spread out wide and one summer; Gina informed her, she'd built a tree house with her mother. It was their fifth sleepover out there, up between the branches, staring out the little windows at the starry sky.
'Oh.'
It was inevitable, they both knew it was happening. But they tried not to think about it. They couldn't not anymore though. Gina's hand reached out, clutching Jenna's as they lay there in silence, just breathing in tune with each other.
'Will you come back next year?'
'When did you come back here?' Gina asked, nibbling on another biscuits, pushed them towards Jenna, who happily took another. They tasted better than any she'd ever tried to make and she had tried; every year when she returned home after the summer, she'd attempted to make the world famous Campbell Crunch biscuits.
'About ten years ago, when the twins were seven and James was a toddler.'
She volunteered the information, like they were catching up on a few years of missed chats. Not thirty. It was deeper than that, Jenna knew. She focused on her biscuit.
She did go back the next year. And the year after, and the year after that. Their friendship became one of summers, defined by the months where school was out. There was the odd Christmas, where Jenna's family would travel down to spend it with her grandparents. There was also a week in May during the year she turned eleven, when her father had a heart attack and she was sent away so that he could rest. They may have spent most of their time apart, but as soon as they saw each other again, it was like Jenna had never left. They'd ride their bikes (because Jenna's grandparents thought she deserved her own for when she visited), climb trees, pick blackberries and sleep over in the tree house as many nights as they were allowed. They told each other all their secrets, kept nothing to themselves. Jenna told Gina first the day she got her period whilst they were swimming in the lake, Gina told Jenna about the hairs she found growing under her arms. There was no need for secrets, not when they knew their friendship would last forever.
'I can't believe you didn't connect the dots,' Gina smiled, brushing a few crumbs up and dropping them onto the floor, where the ginger cat from earlier lapped them up happily.
'Sorry?' Jenna asked, not understanding what she was talking about.
'That I'm Naomi's mum, she is a Campbell after all, I didn't marry her father. Actually he fucked off before she was born.'
Gina's swearing made Jenna tense up. It was strange to hear her swear, when her younger self wouldn't have said a bad word even if she'd been forced. She didn't even know Naomi's surname, hadn't take the time to ask because she didn't like Naomi.
'He was rather fucking useless actually, so it's been Naomi and myself ever since. Very different from your family, I assume. So you didn't realise?'
'No. I didn't. I've only seen Naomi once.'
Naomi. The name made her worries about her daughter infiltrate her mind. She wasn't okay with her effect over her daughter. She would never be okay with Emily kissing girls, being with girls, all because of Naomi. No. Because of Gina.
The year when Jenna's dad had his second heart attack, she turned fourteen a month before. He'd been unwell for a while and it took them all by surprise. She didn't think losing her father could be so difficult. She pushed away her school friends, made new ones and realised what life was all about. She liked boys, she liked drinking and she liked to have fun.
That summer, when she arrived in Bristol, she was a completely different person. She considered herself to have grown up, to have become who she was always going to be. Her mum talked about it all the time, as did her teachers. That when people get older, they realise what makes them happy and they become comfortable with who they are.
'Jenna!' Gina screamed, running into the room and wrapping her arms around her.
It took her by surprise. She wasn't expecting the enthusiasm, didn't hug back. Gina pulled away, with that huge smile shining on her face. Jenna gritted her teeth, felt jealous. She hadn't been jealous of Gina since the first day they met. She tried to tell herself that everything was fine, that they'd both changed over the year and would find a way of being together like they always did.
'Want to go climb trees by the lake?' Gina asked, pulling her backpack onto both her shoulders. Jenna frowned, no one wore their bags on two straps anymore.
'I don't want to break my nails,' Jenna muttered, holding out her perfectly manicured hands. They were her pride and joy, the one thing she loved more than anything.
'Oh.'
Gina had been disappointed. It didn't escape Jenna's notice that Gina looked at her fingers with confusion and when Jenna caught site of Gina's grubby, chewed up nails, she knew why. She tried to tell herself that maybe they weren't interested in all of the same things any more, that it was okay. It didn't matter. They would find a way of being together.
'Was there something specific that you came over here for?' Gina finally broke the silence that seemed to set in a few minutes earlier.
There was a reason, a very good reason, Jenna knew. But she couldn't remember. Hadn't expected her mind to drift off so far into the past, into the summer when everything changed. Gina had pulled her from her reverie, forcing her to think about her reason for being there.
'Emily,' she muttered again, not even sure what to do with Emily that was the reason for her visit.
'Emily is a really great girl,' Gina smiled. 'A real credit to you, Jen.'
'Jen.'
The last time she was called Jen, was the day that things became broken. Gina had turned up at her house at nine in the morning. Jenna was still in bed, was always still in bed at that time. She groaned, shouted at Gina for waking her up when she'd been dreaming about her favourite pop star. The blonde girl had frowned at her, looked a little sad by the changes. Jenna eventually got up and they took a picnic lunch to the lake. They liked to go swimming there, even that summer, Jenna still liked to do that.
'I'm sorry about your dad,' Gina announced, as they lay on their backs, staring up at the bright blue sky above them.
They hadn't talked about it before.
'I wanted to come see you when I found out,' Gina muttered, leaning on her elbow. 'But mum said we couldn't afford the train fare.'
Jenna didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to think about her dad. It always hurt to think about him.
'You're my best friend and I couldn't be there for you.'
Gina looked different. For the first time, Jenna had noticed the changes in her best friend. She was taller, a bit lankier. Her hair was shorter too. Her nails might not have been works of art, likes her. Nor were her clothes anywhere near as fashionable. But there was still that dazzling smile, those grey-blue eyes that Jenna had always loved.
She looked at Jenna with narrowed eyes, 'You seem different this year.'
'I am,' she replied, not giving an explanation.
'I've changed too,' Gina mumbled, chewing on her lip and staring down at the floor.
Jenna sat up, crossing her legs in front of her. Gina followed suit, but knelt down. They stared at each other for a few minutes. Jenna could sense something building up, she didn't know what. It was different to normal. They used to be able to sit together by the lake; laughing and talking and play fighting all day until the sun began to set.
The sun was already setting and Gina's hands were resting carefully beside her legs. Jenna stared at her, wondered why Gina looked so nervous with her eyes flittering about. Then it all happened so quickly. Jenna couldn't believe it at first, when Gina's lips pressed against her own. She'd kissed boys before, plenty of boys in school. But she'd never felt a girl's lips against hers until Gina's tongue dance it's way into her mouth. Her instant reaction was to kiss back, to massage the other girl's mouth with her own.
'It's really fantastic that our girls are together,' Gina smiled. 'Emily has been nothing but a star, she's really made my girl happier.'
Jenna's fingers moved subconsciously to her lips. The memory of Gina's mouth pressed to hers filling her thoughts. Fantastic? She frowned. It wasn't right. It hadn't been right then and this, sitting in front of Gina now, wasn't right either. She stood up.
'I should go.'
'Are you sure?' Gina asked, her eyes narrowing in sadness. 'You could stay for dinner, there's plenty of food. Will is planning on cooking, he always makes a mess, but he's a fabulous cook.'
'No.'
Her hands began to shake. She felt guilty, regretful, hated herself for ruining the friendship she could have had with a woman who didn't even seem bothered about what had happened. But Jenna couldn't forgive herself, now that she remembered, she couldn't make it better in her own mind.
'What the fuck are you doing?' Jenna screamed, pulling away and climbing to her feet as quickly as possible.
'Kissing you,' Gina whispered, recoiling with shock and regret.
'You fucking dyke, I'm not gay. You're a fucking loser if you think I'd want to kiss you.'
Gina's eyes glazed over, tears clouding up her grey-blue orbs. Jenna knew she was being unfair, was taking it a step too far. But she'd taken a lot from the kids at school in the last few months. She wasn't willing to sit back and let another person walk all over her.
'Don't swear,' Gina called back. 'I don't like it, I don't like it when you're like this.'
'If you don't like me like this, you don't like me,' Jenna snarled back, her tongue sharper than a knife.
Gina looked devastated. 'Why are you being like this?'
'Because we're not fucking kids anymore, we're older now. I've grown up. I don't live in a fucking game where we climb trees and stare at the stars. Real life isn't like that.'
'It can be,' Gina cried out, wiping the tears from her eyes.
'No, it can't, You're fucking immature Gina. Baby Gina, crying because she kissed someone and they didn't kiss her back. And look at your clothes, you look like a charity shop threw up on you.'
The mocking tone was the last thing she wanted to do, yet the only thing that felt right. Things had changed. She couldn't deny that any more. She didn't like Gina, she'd decided. Didn't like how childish she could be.
'I just thought,' Gina sobbed. 'Your dad, it must have been hard, I wanted to make you feel better.'
'I'm not fucking gay, you dyke, I don't like you like that and I don't like you full stop.'
'But,' Gina tried, crying so hard that Jenna half wanted to pull her into a hug, like she had the day Gina discovered that her mum had been in a car accident and had to spend the night in hospital. She'd been a good friend, she'd stayed with her through the night, told her jokes to take her mind off it and been the best friend anyone could ask for.
'I hate you, I don't ever want to see you again,' Jenna screamed out, ripping off the friendship necklace Gina had given her on the summer she turned nine, threw it to the ground as she gathered up her belongings and rode away on her bicycle.
'I'm sorry,' Gina replied, a gentle smile on her face. 'You've probably got to get home to your family. Sometimes I forget other people have family around them, it's just me and Naomi, other than our house guests.'
I'm sorry too. Jenna thought, willed herself to say it, to make up for her past mistakes. But she couldn't. The memory of that evening; the kiss, the fight, became prevalent in her mind for the first time in thirty years and though she knew she had to make amends for it, it was easier said than done.
'Yes,' she replied.
'I'll walk you out.'
When Jenna reached the porch, she turned around and stared into those blue-grey eyes. They smiled at each other briefly, like they had that first meeting. Jenna felt her heart ache for past friendships, lost by her own stupidity and immaturity. She said her goodbyes, headed for her car. The second she was sat in the drivers seat, she remembered she'd gone over there to inform Gina that her daughter was leading hers astray. It wasn't until she'd left, that she realised, maybe it wasn't like that. Maybe, like Jenna, Naomi and Emily had jumped to conclusions that were right. Where Jenna didn't want to kiss her friend, Emily and Naomi did. She waited in the car until Gina's front door closed. Pulled out a sheet of paper from her notebook and scribbled a small message which she hurriedly pushed through the letterbox of the yellow house.
'Gina, I'm sorry for everything, Jen x'
She returned to her vehicle, watched as Gina opened the front door, the small note in hand. The two women's eyes locked again and they shared a smile, more genuine this time; a smile of two friends finding each other again after too many years.
The End.
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