I Don't Not Own Twilight, If I did- there would have been a lot of changes in the books. :P


BPOV

Gone.

It will as if I never existed.

Everyone's Gone.

Don't Do anything stupid or reckless.

I lay on my bed. It had been nearly 6 months since Edward left me in the woods. Nearly 6 months since he tore my heart out and left a gaping hole where it was supposed to be. 6 months since he took my family- My Mother, My Father, My Brothers, My Sisters, My Best Friend Alice. 6 months since I have given up the will to fight – to live. If I died now I probably wouldn't care. In fact I would probably welcome it with open arms. I finally decided that's what I was going to do. Cease to exist. I'm barely breathing now. The tears that come every night are like floods- like I'm being drowned in my own tears. The sobs that wrack my chest are debilitating. I have to hold myself together before everything falls out for the world to see. That's just what I need- the world to laugh along at my pain.

It's just one day at a time Bella, I promise if you get up today you can go back to bed tonight. I promised myself every day. Some days were harder than others. Some easier. But all in all I wasn't coping with him being gone forever. It isn't like he promised. I know he existed, he can't change my mind. He can take away my family, my best friend but he can't erase the memory he left. Getting out of this warm bed was one of the hardest things I could ever do, if I could I would stay in this bed all day every day. Sometimes I do just that. Walking along the hallway to the small shower is another task I have to do. Walking- I shuffled, not walked. I took just enough steps and used just enough energy to make this function work. It was a necessary action I needed to take in order to complete everyday tasks. Once in the shower I turned the water on cold. I never touched the hot tap. That was forbidden, I like the coldness upon my skin it reminded me of Him. Getting dressed in matching clothes was beyond me now days. I didn't care how I looked. I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Eating- another thing I felt I had to do. I was never really hungry and I currently weighted 94 lbs. I didn't care if I died of starvation- I would know it was coming unlike when he left.

I met Charlie down stairs. Every day he tells me he loves me before he went to work. Today was no different only I got the sudden urge to say it back.

"I love you Too Dad" I said- my voice hoarse from being unused. I shuffled over and hugged him, he hugged me back for a few seconds and we broke apart.

"Be careful." I said and he left. He nodded and left. I didn't know what this feeling was. Dread maybe? I couldn't tell anymore. Once his car was out of sight I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write my bidding far well.

Charlie,

I'm Sorry. I figured I should say it before I continued. I'm sorry for becoming the way I am now. I'm Sorry I wasn't a stronger person. But most of all I'm Sorry for what I'm about to do. I know it will hurt for a little while, but soon I will become nothing but a few school pictures on the wall- I would really like you to take those down. Get re-married, have another kid maybe. Just promise me you will move on and be there for Renée. She will be devastated, but this is for the best. For all of us.

All my Love

Bella.

I wrote his name on it and put it in my pocket. I took it upstairs and put it in my old wooden box. While I was upstairs I picked up my school bag and took a look around the place I have come to call home this past year. The place he had shared with me, he had watched me sleep in my bed, he and I sat on the couch and watch Romeo & Juliet. All of the reminders are just that. Reminders. Not as good as the real thing but yet they still seemed to fill the hole for a few seconds every time I looked at them. I walked out to the drive way and went to the mail box. But I wasn't turning back, unless my some miracle He came back. I drove my old truck to the school that has been a distraction for the past 6 months. I parked in my regular park and got out. Nobody starred at me anymore, it's like I'm not even there. Which in turn is a good thing, the last time I got noticed it was by HIS family and they have done this to me-turned me into a walking corpse, a freak, a Suicidal freak. I walked to my class and took my regular seat in the back. No one comes near me, I keep my head down and focus on not breaking down or falling asleep. So when I say I was shocked by a thud on my desk-believe me I WAS shocked. I looked up and I saw the faces of Lauren and Jessica.

"What's up freak?" Lauren asked me. I looked up at her maddened by her motives. What had I done this time. I don't think I have ever talked to her by my own free will, Let alone during the past 6 months. I didn't answer her, instead I put my head back down and tried focusing on my work.

"I'm talking to you freak." She said pulling my book out from under me. I didn't understand why I was worried about my book, considering I was about to end my life.

"Yes well. I'm Not talking to you." I said getting up and pulling my bag over my shoulder. I walked out of the class, not caring that the teacher was calling me back. I sat in my truck and started reading through my calculus book when I was pulled out of my musings by a knock on the window. I looked up to see Jessica. She pulled open the door and Lauren came at me. She ripped me out of the car by my hair and then proceeded to hit me repeatedly in the face and kicking me everywhere. Once she was done, she got up and spat on me.

"That's what you get freak. Don't fuck with me." she said leaving me bleeding on the gravel. Black spots were appearing infront of my eyes and everything hurt. I heard the bell ring and I tried to get up, I didn't want people seeing me like this. Broken and bleeding on the ground, but I could find the strength to get up or even move. It wasn't long before I heard footsteps coming down to the car park.

"BELLA! Oh My God. Ben get the principal. Bella, open your eyes." I heard Angela say, I couldn't find my voice; I didn't have the will to do anything. Maybe if I'm lucky I would just die here. I wouldn't have caused Charlie the pain of knowing I committed Suicide, and I could wipe the smirk off Laurens face.

"What happened here?" a voice asked.

"Isabella? Open your eyes dear." The voice demanded. I tried to comply and my eyes opened a fraction. I could see a teacher leaning over me, but I didn't know who she was.

"That's good dear." She said they started to involuntarily close. "No, stay awake. Call 911."

"I already did." Angela said. I felt a single tear fall down my face and I succumbed to the blackness. But with the blackness brought the nightmares.

ANGELA POV.

She had become so different. Her face is pale, her eyes have no light in them. The dark circles show how tried she is.

"Where did Bella go?" I asked Ben. He had told me about the confrontation between her and Lauren and Jessica.

"I'm not sure, we get out soon. I'm sure she will come to lunch." He told me. I nodded still worried about my friend. Granted we haven't spent much time together since Edward left. But I knew she just needed some space to grieve or whatever. When lunch was almost over and she had yet to show up I got worried.

"Ben, let's go look for her." I said sliding out from under the table and throwing my uneaten food in the trash and walked out of the cafeteria. Ben and I linked arms and we walked through the hallways of the school. Lauren and Jessica passed us with smirks on their faces. What have they done?

We checked the library, and her classrooms but she wasn't there. I heard the bell sound telling us we had 5 minutes to get to our next class. But I blocked out the annoying ringing sound.

"Ben I have a bad feeling." I said walking toward the doors that lead to the car park. I could see her truck was still parked there and if the door hadn't been open I wouldn't have thought to check. I ran over and she was there. Lying on the ground, her face was bleeding and she had a busted lip. Her eyes; her hollow eyes shut tightly, I could see the bruises already forming. Her left wrist was bent back oddly and her shirt had ridden up a fraction so I could see the red marks that covered most of her stomach. They probably covered her back as well.

"BELLA! Oh My God. Ben get the principal. Bella, open your eyes." I tried to get her to wake. I was worried she was dead and I had to check to make sure. Her pulse was there, I let go of the breath I was holding.

"What happened here?" I heard a voice come from behind me. I turned to look and saw a teacher. I didn't know her name; she must be new here.

"I don't know." I told her quietly. She nodded and sat beside me.

"What's her Name?" she asked me.

"Isabella Swan." I said automatically

"Isabella? Open your eyes dear." She shook Bella just a bit to get her to wake. I saw her eyes open slightly and she struggled to keep them open.

"That's good dear."The teacher said. Bella's eyes went crossed and they started to close against her will. "No, stay awake. Call 911." She demanded. Bella's eyes shut and I saw wetness come forth. She was in pain.

"I already did." I said as a tear fell down her face. I wiped it away and I heard Ben come back to us with teachers following behind.

"Is she ok?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"No, someone did this to her and I will take my bet it was Lauren and Jessica." I said, normally I wasn't one to judge people but those two girls were cruel and couldn't handle that Bella had been with Edward and they weren't even getting a look in. I could hear sirens coming up the road and I held Bella's hand tightly.

"The ambulance is here." Ben said as it came to a halt infront of us.

"I'm staying with her." I said and Ben nodded. Once she was on the gurney and loaded into the back I sat beside her talking to her.

"Bella, I know you really don't want to keep fighting but I'm telling you. For Charlie, For Edward. You HAVE to, no giving up." I said and more tears ran down her face, it was then I knew she could hear me. I talked to her the whole way to the hospital, she cried and sobbed a few times but at ALL times her eyes remand shut.

BELLA POV.

~hours later~

BEEP…BEEP…. ..

The monitor sped up as I screamed out of my nightmare. Screaming at the top of my lungs as the nurse tried to hold me and calm me down.

"Dear, calm down. You will rip your IV out." she soothed I put my head against her and she rubbed my back as I cried. Once my fit was over she lied me back down on the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Are you ok?" she asked me eyeing me up and down. I nodded, but she didn't seem convinced.

"What happened? Why am I here?" I asked. I felt horrible. My wrist was throbbing and so was my head. One of my eyes was very swollen.

"I'll just go get your doctor she can explain everything for you." She said walking out of the room. I checked myself over, my stomach was black and blue, with some tape across my ribs. My left wrist was in a cast, I felt stiches in my lip and across my cheek.

"Isabella. How are you feeling?"She asked before she was even to my bed. She looked about mid thirties. She had brown hair that was put in a neat ponytail on her head. Her blue scrubs were distended and she rubbed her stomach.

"I'm fine and it's Bella" I said turning to face away from her.

"Right, well, I'm Jessie, Your doctor. You have a lot of injuries. Do you know what happened to you?" she asked, I shrugged slightly.

"Can I go home?" I asked quietly. I felt the bed shift as she sat down.

"Bella, what happened? Your friend outside is very worried about you." She said.

"Who's outside?" I asked her. She raised her eyebrows

"Her name is Angela." She said

"Oh" was my great reply. Angela and I had been friends before everything but we haven't talked since he left.

"Do you want me to get her? She will be glad to see you awake" She asked. I shook my head; I didn't want to see anyone.

"She can see me tomorrow at school." I said lying through my teeth, if everything went according to plan, she wouldn't be seeing me.

"Ok, well your father will be here soon and he's going to bring up some other officers to take your statement. Then you can go. Now your stitches will be taken out in a few weeks. Keep them covered as much as possible so they don't get infected. Your bruises will heal in their own time and the break in your wrist, well by the look of your file you know what to do with that." She said chuckling a bit. There was a knock on the door and she got up.

"Chief Swan." She said walking to him. They started whispering to each other and I listened in.

"How is she?" he asked quietly.

"She's ok all things considering. The nurse said she woke up screaming and it took a while to calm her down. She won't talk to me much. She wants to leave, so once her statement is taken then you can take her home." She said.

"Did she tell you who did this to her?" He asked

"No, maybe you can try to get it out of her. I'll be back later." She said and I heard footsteps get quieter and soon they disappeared.

"Hey Bells." Charlie said coming to the side of my small hospital bed.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like I was bashed" I said sarcastically

"Are you ready to give your statement? Mark is outside." He asked, I nodded- there was no point fighting it. I would be made to give on sooner or later.

"Alright." He said going to get the uniformed officers. They came in looking all professional and compassionate.

"Hi Bella, You know me and this is Andy. Can you tell us what happened today?" he asked.

"She hit me." was all I said.

"Who hit you Bella?" Mark asked me.

"Lauren. Because I wouldn't talk to her. Can I go home now?" I asked Charlie, he sighed in defeat-knowing I wasn't going to give them anymore than that.

"Ok, I'll go get everything set up." He said and they all left the room. I took this time to write another letter. I found some paper and there was a pen in the draws.

Alice & Jasper

Alice I know you can see all this is happening to me. But do you care? Do you care that she hit me? I guess not, I was just a distraction-a toy for you all to play with. But don't worry; I will be all right soon. I wish you and everyone else the best. I hope you're all happier. And Jasper I'm sorry, I'm sorry for being just a stupid human; for getting a paper cut on wrapping paper. I love you both.

Love Bella.

I looked around the small room and found my schoolbag sitting on a seat beside my bed. I walked slowly over to it-ignoring the sharp pains in my chest every time I took a breath. I unzipped it and put it inside and closed the bag again. I saw my clothes sitting under the bag and I decided to get dressed. My clothes had my blood dried on them and when I got home they would be going into the trash. I took them into the small bathroom and got changed quickly but carefully. Even though I was numb, some of the injuries still hurt. I slipped my shirt over my head ignoring the pain in my ribs when I lifted my arms, normally I would have struggled to keep my tears at bay when putting on my usually tight shirt, but I had lost so much weight that the shirt didn't even touch my skin-it just hung off me. I left the bathroom fully clothed and sat on the bed with my bag in hand waiting for Charlie to come back and get me. When he did he brought back my doctor.

"Oh looks like you ready to leave?" She asked me, I nodded

"Yes, Now can we go?" I asked looking at Charlie.

"Are you sure you're ready Bells? I mean you look ready but, do you feel well enough?" he asked me

"Yes now let's go." I said standing up, trying not to grimace.

"Ok thank you." He said and I walked out the door.

When we got home I went straight to my room. I got on my computer and my inbox was full. I opened it up and saw letters from the school computers all from Lauren and Jessica, claiming that they were Angela or Ben or Mike. The letters went along the lines of-

"Useless whore" – Mike.

"Nobody wants you." – Angela.

" I should have hit you with my van that day"- Tyler

They were all like that but the stupid idiots didn't realise if they were logged in as them, their name would show up in the sender column-Even if the letter had someone else's name on it. But there was one. One letter that really got to me, I knew it wasn't real but it still stabbed me in the chest and caused the hole to rip open.

"Bella,

My family and I are finally happy. Happy your gone. We never cared anyway, you were just something new at the school. We felt sorry for you-that's why we took you in. Edward never wanted you, he was always playing around behind your back. He told us all you were just a toy, you weren't good anyway. You're better off dead.

Alice"

I deleted all my email and shut off the computer. I sat on my spinning computer chair thinking. Was it really Lauren and Jessica sending these? Or did Alice send hers? I don't know anymore. I got up from my place in the chair and picked up-not caring about the pain in my ribs or wrist when I moved- my laptop. I walked over to my window and opened it. I starred at the $1000 piece of crap that was rotting my brain and threw it out the window into the rain. I sighed and looked out the window. I couldn't see anything because of the rain, I heard Charlie get up and come to the stairs.

"Bella what was that?" he asked.

"Nothing, Just cleaning." I said to him. I sat on my bed and pulled out my note pad and my wooden box. I got Alice's letter from my school bag and put it in, then I wrote another…

Carlisle & Esme

I'm sorry for the grief I caused your family. After everything I put you all through. You shouldn't have had to be cautious around me. Stupid, Human Bella. I love you and I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to be a Cullen. You will always be my favourite parents.

Love Bella

I wrote their names on the front and put it in my box. I looked at my alarm clock and saw it was nearly dinner. The best thing I could do for Charlie would be to make him his favourite for dinner. He would be eating alone or at the diner after tonight. I put my box back under my bed and walked out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen. Charlie was watching some game and he looked up when I walked past.

"What are you doing Bells?" he asked getting up.

"I'm making you dinner." I said in a void voice, not meeting him in the eyes.

"You don't have to Bells, I can order in." he said squeezing my shoulder and lifting my chin with his finger.

"I want to. Please" I said looking away. From the corner of my eye I saw him nod and I left the room. After dinner he sat and watched some weird show and I sat with him, savouring my last hours and moments with my father.

"I'm going to bed" I said standing up wincing slighting at the pain in my chest.

"Goodnight Bells" she said. I nodded and left the room.

I wrote another letter. Pulling out my box and paper.

Emmett& Rosalie

I wanted to start off by thanking you Rosalie. You were the only one not to hide their true feelings about me. You never really liked me and now I know the rest of you didn't either-even thought I wish you did, so much. Emmett, you're the big brother I always wanted. You're the one I would have chosen-and I did. I chose you to be there to protect me, to love me like a brother would. But the times have changed and even though I don't like it, it's inevitable. I Miss you, I love you.

Love Bella.

I put it in the brown box and placed it beside me on my bed. I only had one more left to write, it would be the hardest to. HIS letter would be the end of it all, the very last line of my life. This was it.

Edward,

I don't really know what to say to you. I knew how to write everyone else's letters, but yours is the hardest to do. I think it's because I still love you, and there is somewhere deep in my heart that knows I shouldn't be doing this. But in my head, I know it's the only way I can be happy. I love you and I don't want you to do anything stupid or reckless. Please promise me that you won't forget me. Even when everyone else does, I don't want you to. I want you to remember that happy Bella, the one that will love you forever and a day.

All my love forever.

I sealed his letter with a kiss and placed it in the box. I looked at my alarm clock and decided that 11:56 was a perfect time to end my life. I picked up my box and quietly made my way to the old bathroom. I ran a nice warm bath and put some bubble bath in to make it that more relaxing. I didn't want my death to be terrifying, it was going to be peaceful. I walked back to my room and grabbed some lavender candles and placed them all around the bathroom. I looked under the sink and took out the scented rose petals from the spa kit my mom sent me a few months back. I turned off the water and threw the rose petals all over the bathroom and some in the bath. I walked over to the bathroom cabinet and took one of Charlie's razors from the box, before I didn't anything else; I laid my letters out on the end of the bath so someone would find them. I then placed the razor on the edge of the bath and stripped down to my underwear. I stepped into the warm water and sunk in happily. I reached for the razor and pulled my left wrist out of the water. I took the blade and cut through the cast that was there and I threw it on the bathroom floor, once it was out of the way I worked on getting the job done, so I could be happy finally. I hissed in pain as I slowly dragged the piece of metal vertically from my elbow to my hand- following along the ever present blue vein. I knew that it wouldn't be enough to end my life , I swapped hands ignoring the pain in my left wrist when I bend my fingers, I didn't the same thing to my right wrist. I saw the water start to turn a deep shade of red as my blood flowed into the warm water, the bubbles began to turn red as well. Before I closed my eyes for the last time, I took the razor once more and wrote into my stomach

'I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you'

I dropped the razor into the bath, closed my eyes and let my last breath come out as I sunk into the red water.


A/N- So, What do you think of this one? Would you like me to write Charlie's response to finding Bella? or Leave it at that? Let me know in a review please. Or I could do the Cullen's POV? Your Choice, Just let me know. :)

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