Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon or any of the other charsacters mentioned. I also do not own Starbucks or Wal-Mart. I DO own the D.P.P. (Read further for details on that specific organization)
Eragon: the Final Scene Spoof
(Battling beneath Isidar Mithrim)
Eragon: I will never give in!
Durza: Tell me where your dragon is!
Eragon: …Oh, that's all? She's up the stairs, two doors down, hang left at the construction sign and she should be to the right of the souvenir shop in the Starbucks.
Durza: those places are taking over the world! I swear, they're giving Galby a real run for his money.
Eragon: Yes. It's rather sad. Almost as heartbreaking as the whole Wal-Mart thing.
Durza: Would you like to take a quick coffee break?
Eragon: I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO! YOU'RE TRYING TO TEMPT ME
WITH A CREAMY DELICIOUS MOCHA FRAPPACCINO SO YOU CAN STEAL MY FUZZY SOCKS!!
Durza: sarcastic Dang. You saw through my ingenious scheme… oh well. Commence the epic battle!
They fight, Durza is about to deliver the finishing blow when Arya (the elf/love-interest) and Saphira (the totally AWESOME dragon) break through Isidar Mithrim to save Eragon's inept but well-meaning butt. there is a collective, horrified gasp from the Dwarven population.
Eragon: points to dragon and elf Hey look! A distraction!
Durza: Where?!
Eragon: stabs Durza through the heart 'cuz that's the only way to kill a shade… needless to say it was a bit messy.
Durza: looks down at the gaping hole in his chest That was low. And you're supposed to be the hero!
Dies dramatically. The evil spirits that possesed him flee. Life is good for all but Arya who is hunted down by the D.P.P. (Durza Protection Program)who is then roasted on a spit during which a good time is had by all. Obviously, Eragon cannot be blamed because he's the main character and Saphira… well, let's not go there
The End.