Note: This fic is inspired by the promo we got for the Shadowhunters Series and Malec, because even though I LOVED it (of course) the angst was killing me, and I couldn't stand thinking of my precious Magnus sad, till January. So! Here you go. Set after everything is resolved and Jace is found. (Series Timeline)

[Here is the link for said promo in twitter: /ShadowhuntersTV/status/798634920889286656]

~o~

It's been three days since Magnus had last heard of Alec. Three days, with no phone calls, no messages, no contact whatsoever.

The last time he had seen him was when they finally got Jace back. The blond boy was in pretty bad shape and everyone had rushed to his side to check on him.

Magnus had looked on as Alec fell on his knees beside his Parabatai worried, carefully touching him to assess his wounds. There was nothing on him an iratze couldn't fix, and knowing he wasn't needed anymore, Magnus silently left. No one called his name as he walked away, no one asked him to come back. So he didn't.

Now, three days later he was sitting at his couch alone, nursing a strong drink in his hand. He intended it to be the first of many, because what else was there to do at that point but stay in and drink himself to oblivion? He was really in no mood to go out and party.

He had fallen for that boy hard, but he should have known better. Shadowhunters will always be Shadowhunters after all. And he was just a Downworlder. Someone meant to be looked down upon and be used by them. Someone meant to be discarded without a second thought when there was no more use for him.

He downed the drink, tossing the glass to a nearby wall and breaking it, before conjuring a new one.

'But Alec wasn't like other Shadowhunters…' He hid his face in his hands burying himself deeper into the couch and his despair.

He knew Alec was new to that. Heck, he was new to everything; the boy was merely 18, still a child. He understood, even though he'd never felt it or ever would, the importance of a Parabatai bond. He'd seen it destroy many Nephilim in the past.

He wasn't blaming Alec for acting like that because he knew he was under heavy pressure. He was surprised by the boy's outburst but he wasn't accusing him. However it still hurt. Very much. Too much.

He downed that drink too, letting it slip through his fingers and shatter to the floor beside his bare feet.

Okay. He understood all that. He understood being ignored once they found Jace because of course he was more important. 'In that moment, and in general…' Magnus thought, his heart, clenching. He bit his lip conjuring something stronger to drink.

"Why am I always like that…?" He muttered. "Why do I keep falling for the wrong people? A Nephilim? I knew this was going to happen all along… I should have known he was bound to just use me too, and abandon me in the end…"

He was taking it too bad, he knew. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe... No. 'No use lying to myself.' He thought. He knew what his problem was. It was hope. He had dared hope, dared to even dream for them. Alec was the first person he had grown close to after a long lonely time. And he seemed so different than every other Nephilim he'd met before. But in the end...

~o~

He wasn't being unreasonable. While Alec was stressing over Jace, Magnus was nothing but supportive. He helped him in any and every way he could, worried about him, made sure he was taken care of. He kept his distance, going back to not even touching him without permission.

And he never asked for anything back. He didn't do it to be thanked. All he wanted was Alec to be happy. And then, three days ago, everything paid off. They got Jace back. But even though they couldn't have done it without him, no one even spared him a second look. That was okay too. He knew he was nothing but trash to them. He was used to it and didn't expect any better. And since he had done it for Alec, there was no payment to request for his help. So he just disappeared.

He didn't expect any of them to call or show up. Not unless they needed another favour. That's what Nephilim did after all. Always demanding. Expecting you to thank them, because they did you the honour of allowing you to serve them.

"But Alec isn't like that…" He muttered sipping his fourth drink. "He's not like the rest of them." 'Keep telling yourself that and you might believe it.' An unbidden and very unwelcome voice in his head whispered. And it was right. That's exactly what he was doing. He kept thinking of that, trying not to let the pain make his faith in Alec waver. But it was only getting harder.

Of course Alec wouldn't care for him once Jace returned. The next day too. But three days later, the Nephilim was still nowhere to be seen. It's not that he hadn't come over. Magnus knew that he probably wouldn't, not anymore. But he had neither called, hadn't even sent a text. Nothing. Not a word.

Surely he could have found one free minute in those three days. 'When he needed me he was here all the time...' He thought bitterly, unable to help himself. But still, he couldn't blame him. Even though his heart was breaking now, he was still so in love with him and wouldn't trade a moment of those they had together.

And still he made excuses for his absence, for his silence, willing himself to believe he had disappeared simply because he was too busy, and not because now that his Parabatai (who he also had feelings for) was back, Magnus meant nothing to him. He willed himself to believe it wasn't because he was just using him all along. Just like everyone else.

~o~

When his phone rang an hour later, he had lost count of how many drinks he had had. He got up unsteadily reaching out to get it and stepped on the broken glass at his feet. Cursing silently, but too numb from the alcohol to care about the pain, he picked up.

"You have reached the High Warlock of Brooklyn." He said. "Whatever you want, I can't help you. Try again in 10 years."

Having lost all hope at this point, he didn't even consider the fact that Alec could be finally calling him. He let the phone drop to the floor falling back on the couch himself and closing his eyes.

~o~